Always (Time for Love Book 4) (3 page)

Sarah nodded in agreement.

Tears sprung to Brenna’s eyes. “He’s had feelings for me for that long?” And to think it bothered her that she’d been attracted to him for a year.
One
year compared to
ten
for him? How could she have been so blind?

“Yes, I think he's had feelings for you for that long,” Gemma said. “But he’s never said anything to me.”

“Same here,” Sarah said.

“But you never spoke about this amongst yourselves?”

“No.”

She stared at them, sensing a deep stirring in her heart. “Do you think he still has feelings for me now?”

Both Gemma and Sarah shrugged.

“Hey, girls,” Amanda said, appearing in her kitchen. “Is everything okay? You haven’t started anything.”

“Sorry,” Gemma said with a grin, and started opening cupboards.

Brenna stared at Amanda. If Ash had told anyone, he would have told his sister. Should she ask her now?

“Bren? What’s up?” Amanda asked.

Brenna’s gaze darted to Gemma and Sarah, but they’d busied themselves with the tasks at hand.

“It’s to do with Ash, isn’t it?” Amanda said. “What did you guys talk about earlier when he took you to the water’s edge?”

Brenna smiled. “We were joking about how cold the water is and how we don’t have a change of clothes.” Images of Ash stripping in the guest bedroom filled her mind, making her flush again.

“Are you imagining my brother in a wet t-shirt contest?” Amanda joked.

Brenna laughed to cover her embarrassment. “No, I’m imagining him naked.”

Amanda gasped. “Bren! Are you kidding me? Is this what you guys were talking about? Tell me!”

With hushed voices, the three shared with Amanda their earlier conversation.

“There were times when I wanted to throttle you for not noticing, Bren,” Amanda said quietly. “But you were with Darren. Even after you broke up with Darren you still didn’t notice. I’ve felt sorry for my brother for years. But I know he’d hate for me to interfere. Plus, I didn’t know what good it would do to tell you, since you weren’t interested anyway.”

Brenna could only stare at Amanda in shock.

“So what did you talk about at the beach?” Amanda asked with a frown.

The rest of what she and Ash had discussed came crashing back to Brenna. “He asked whether I expected to get serious with Lance,” she said, mortification filling her. “I was so frazzled by being in his arms that I didn’t clarify to him I’m not hung up on Lance at all, although I might have given him that impression.”

“Oh, Bren,” Gemma said with a hint of exasperation. “You told him you’re sticking with Lance?”

“Yes,” she said in a small voice. “I’m now sorry I did.”

“That probably explains why Ash is avoiding even looking at you. He’s dealing with another heartbreak—one you’ve caused.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” she cried in dismay. “Maybe I should pull him aside and tell him I didn’t mean what I said. Sure, I like Lance. He’s nice. But I most definitely do not love him. I don’t even think I’ll ever get to the love stage with Lance at all.”

“But you’re not ready to break up with him, are you?” Amanda asked.

Brenna paused, considering the question and scanning herself for a truthful answer. “You know what? I really don’t mind if I do. Deep inside I know Lance is not the man for me. I also know things between us are starting to fizzle fast. I was just too stubborn to admit I’m heading for another failed relationship—that was why I hadn’t wanted to end it yet. But... I feel differently now.”

“And what are you gonna do with Ash?” Sarah asked.

Her lips tugged upwards, the thought of Ash filling her with warmth. “It would be great if he’s still interested in me, wouldn’t it?”

“Bren,” Amanda said quietly. “Ash is seeing someone at the moment—a woman he met at a birthday party.”

Brenna looked at her friend in alarm. “He’s got a new girlfriend?”

Amanda shrugged. “You know Ash. He dates them, then nothing further happens. To be honest, I think you’re the reason why he hasn’t fallen in love with anyone else.”

Brenna breathed in sharply. “So you don’t think he likes this other woman?”

“I don’t know. It’s too new to tell with this one,” Amanda said before burying her face in her hands. “This is why I’ve kept my nose out of this in the past. It’s so stressful thinking that Ash likes you but you don’t like him back. But what if it’s different with this woman? What if it’s now the reverse and you start liking him but he’s no longer available? I don’t want you getting hurt either, Bren.”

“You think he’s moved on?” Brenna asked, dismayed by the possibility.

“I have no idea. I’m sorry. I really don’t know.”

“I want to find out,” Brenna murmured.

“How? Are you gonna ask him straight out?”

“No. I’d have to be subtle. Our friendship is at stake.”

“Please don’t lead him on, Bren,” Amanda pleaded.

She looked Amanda straight in the eye. “I’d never deliberately hurt Ash, Amanda. You know that.”

*

A
s they walked back to the balcony, carrying trays with ice cream and hot drinks, Brenna’s gaze immediately went to Ash. Fondness washed over her as she watched him chat with the guys.

A clear image of her flying to Ash’s arms flashed in her mind. She saw herself holding him tight and telling him she was so sorry she’d made him wait for so long. The picture was so strong it brought tears to her eyes.

In that second, she knew her world had shifted.

“What took you girls so long?” Connor asked.

“You know us. We got busy chatting,” Amanda responded, setting the tray she was carrying on the table. Brenna did likewise, grateful no one was looking at her. She blinked the tears away and took deep breaths to calm herself. Then she sat on a chair next to Ash.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to go soon,” Ash said, checking his watch.

“Why? What else have you got on this afternoon?” Amanda asked.

“I promised someone I’d pick her up from the hospital.”

Her?
Brenna’s ears pricked.

“Hospital? Who?” Amanda asked.

“Sophie. This woman I’m seeing. She’s visiting a friend’s kid at the Children’s Hospital.”

“You have a new girlfriend?” Greg asked. “How long have you been going out with her?”

“About three weeks or so.”

“Doesn’t she drive? How did she get to the hospital?” Amanda asked.

“The kid’s parents picked her up, but they’re staying with their son until tonight, so Sophie needs a lift home.”

“Do you like her, Ash? As in really, really like her?” Amanda prodded.

Brenna found herself holding her breath for Ash’s response.

“Would I be going out with her if I didn’t like her?” he replied.

“Yes,” Amanda replied boldly. “You’ve gone out with women before to test if there was something there. Then you got your confirmation that there was nothing.”

“But I haven’t gone out with those girls again, have I?”

“Ooh, it must mean you really like Sophie then, hey?” Jeff said before wincing. “Did you just kick my leg, babe?” he asked Sarah in surprise.

“Sorry, it was an accident,” Sarah said with an innocent smile. “Anyway, Ash, what does this woman do?”

“She runs a hairdressing salon. Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll all get to meet her someday.”

“Meet her? Whoa, you must be getting serious, bro,” Greg teased.

Ash grinned at Greg, and Brenna’s heart sank. Was that a yes? Was he getting serious with Sophie?
No!

“Are you bummed that your baby sister’s going to beat you to the altar?” Greg asked.

Ash laughed. “Not at all. But now that my baby sister’s all grown up and getting married, I can stop worrying about her and start focusing on my own love life.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “You’re the overprotective brother who insists on poking your nose in my business, Ash.”

“It’s tit for tat and all that, sis. Gemma’s the last one I have to worry about now,” Ash said with an exaggerated sigh.

“Not the last,” Gemma said. “Brenna’s still single too.”

Brenna was surprised at Gemma’s comment, but she was grateful for it. What would Ash say about that?

“She’s got Lance,” Ash said rather cheerily.

Ash’s tone pinched Brenna’s heart. “Not for long,” she murmured, unable to help the distressed frown on her face.

“Is everything okay, Bren?” he asked softly.

He noticed!
She gave him a sweet smile, words catching in her throat.

Ash reached over and patted her on the arm. “You’ll be fine, Bren. I know it,” he said, then stood up. “I’m afraid I have to go, guys. I don’t want to be late in picking up Sophie. And Bren, I’m sure you’ll work it out with Lance,” he added with an encouraging smile.

Brenna’s jaw slackened as she watched Ash leave to go to another woman. Hurt gripped her, and she was shocked by the intensity of it. It was almost as if a switch had been flicked. Or rather, as if a dam had been broken. Feelings for Ash she’d been forcefully ignoring were gushing out.

But was she just a tad too late?

A
sh dropped his fake smile as soon as he was out of Connor and Amanda’s apartment. Talking in front of Brenna about meeting a woman he was dating made him feel like he was doing something wrong. But then Brenna never had the same problem, so why should he continue to feel that way?

He figured it would benefit him to make this group think he was getting serious with Sophie. Sophie could be his good excuse for why he couldn’t turn up to future gatherings—especially the ones where Brenna would be bringing Lance along with her.

But what had happened with Brenna and Lance? It sounded like something had gone wrong. Did she get a phone call? Was that why the girls took an inordinately long time to come back from the kitchen?

When Brenna had smiled at him when he’d asked her if she was okay, he saw the vulnerability in her eyes. Her expression had tugged at his heart with a force that had scared him, and he had to forcibly remind himself he was done hoping.

How many times in the past had he comforted Brenna when she’d had her heart broken? He had hoped against hope that because he was there—right in front of her—she’d finally see she should be with him instead. Well, she never saw him that way. He’d be the biggest fool on earth if he let himself believe it would be different this time.

So he left early, even though he wasn’t due to pick up Sophie until much later. He had to leave before he succumbed to his heart’s plea to hold Brenna and make her feel better. It might get him hoping again, and he didn’t want that. Besides, he knew Brenna. She was someone who stuck with a relationship and made it work. After her words on the beach that morning, he was sure she wouldn’t be giving up on Lance so easily—just like it took her six years before she finally called it quits with her idiot ex, Darren.

His heart constricted, and he sighed with annoyance. He still ached at the knowledge that Brenna had been so in love with Darren for six long fucking years. That was why he wasn’t going to hang around to watch her fall in love with a new man.

That’s right, Ash. Fucking move on. For good, this time.

*****

“T
hanks again for picking me up and dropping me off, Ash. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Ash said, giving Sophie a smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?”

Ash shook his head regretfully. “Sorry. I have to go.”

Sophie pursed her lips. “You know you’re my rebound guy, right, Ash? And we’re only in this for the sex?”

Ash chuckled. “Yeah.”

“I want you to know that you can call me any time you need me—even if it’s just to talk.”

“Thanks, Sophie,” he said with a sigh. “I’m sorry I’m cutting this date short.”

“Well, I’d been hoping for some sex today,” she said teasingly, “but it’s obvious you’re not in the mood.”

He gave her an apologetic smile. The way he was feeling, he didn’t think he’d be in the mood for a long, long while with Sophie. Perhaps it was because he’d come to think of her as a friend. He was only able to have sex with women when it was one hundred percent casual with absolutely no view of forming any relationship whatsoever. Otherwise, the guilt would have gotten to him—because every single time he was in bed with a woman, his heart and mind were with Brenna.

But he expected that to change soon. He was committed to moving on from Brenna, so surely it was only a matter of time before he was over her. Then he could be present with whomever he was having sex with, right? That would be freeing.

“This woman’s really messing you up, huh?” Sophie commented.

He opened his mouth to make a joke, but a confession came out instead. “She’s been messing me up for years. It’s about time I end the madness.”

“So if you want to end the madness, wouldn’t a rebound romp be just what the doctor ordered?”

“A great idea. But I’m ashamed to say I might not be able to perform tonight,” he answered.

“I could suggest a pill for that.”

Ash laughed out loud. “Now you’re really embarrassing me.”

Sophie shook her head at him. “You got it bad, Ash.”

“Damn it,” he said mildly. “Is that your diagnosis?”

Sophie smiled. “Well, I myself know what unrequited love feels like. But don’t worry. It does get better with time once you truly mean to leave it all behind and move on.”

“I’m glad to hear that. That acceptance started for me this morning, so I hope to make good progress soon.”

“Great. Keep at it. Now, are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

“Not tonight. Thank you.”

*****

A
sh parked his car in front of his mother Tracy’s house, right behind a convertible which was identical to his own. Connor and Amanda were obviously there already for a middle-of-the-week family dinner to catch up with Tracy, who’d just come back from a solo one-month overseas trip.

His mum had made noises about having met a man—another single traveller who was part of her tour group.

Well, it was about time. It had been four years since his stepfather had passed away. Time for his mum to start dating again.