Always Loving You (13 page)

Instead of the hard thrusts that had been pushing them both to the brink of insanity, Ava was keeping him locked inside her while grinding her sensitive nub
against his root. He gritted his teeth and started thinking of anything he could to delay his explosion. He was at eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall in his head when he felt her starting to spasm around him. He was helpless to stop his own body from following hers as her contractions milked his cock dry.

When the tremors had subsided, he continued to lean against her, using the wall to support them both. His legs felt so damn weak he was afraid they’d both tumble to the floor if he moved too soon. The feel of Ava’s small hand stroking against his sweaty back had his spent flesh twitching to life. Surely, there was no way he could go again so soon after releasing everything he had into her . . . could he? He had the answer to his question, as he continued to harden. Un-fucking-real. He needed somewhere soft for them to land this time, though. “Mac,” Ava purred, locking her legs tighter around his waist.

“Hang on, baby,” he mumbled before clutching her close and straightening to take her weight. They both moaned in pleasure as his steps toward the bedroom pushed his cock deeper. She protested as he separated from her briefly to lay her on her side on the bed. He knew that both of their bodies were tired, even if their libidos were still going strong. He curled up behind her, lifting her leg over his thigh before sliding back into her from behind.

Mac knew she approved of the new position when her head fell back against his neck on a long sigh of pleasure. “So good,” she murmured as he leaned closer against her back to cup her breast. He kept up a slow
and leisurely rhythm while his hand wandered over every inch of her exposed skin. He smiled at her fevered shout of approval when he slid his fingers between her legs, flicking her swollen clit. Slow sex was all but forgotten and she moved her hips impatiently, trying to quicken his pace. He tormented her for a few moments longer, actually slowing down until she raked her fingernails down his thigh.
Ouch!
It seemed as if his woman was tired of waiting.

His stroking fingers increased with the speed of his cock and he was giving her everything she wanted. They both raced toward an invisible finish line with her crossing it just as his balls started to tighten in warning. She collapsed against him so completely afterward that he moved his hand around on her chest to check her breathing. Satisfied with what he felt there, he pulled himself from her body and got out of bed to clean up. He knew that there was no way she was moving any time soon, so he returned with a washcloth, kissing her forehead and gently cleaning her as best he could before walking through the house to lock up for the evening. It was a testament to how she affected him that he hadn’t even thought to lock the door before devouring her in the hallway. Yeah, both the big head and the little head only had one thought when she was around, and it damn sure wasn’t safety. For someone in his line of work, that was almost a sacrilege.

When the house was secure, he settled back around her, smiling in the dark like a sap when she snuggled sleepily against him. He remembered that he had been mad as hell at her earlier with the whole parasailing
stunt. Funny how that hadn’t even occurred to him once his hands had touched her skin. Right now all he could feel was complete contentment that for the second time the woman he loved was sleeping next to him. Tomorrow was soon enough for him to be pissed. Tonight he just wanted to hold her and vow that she would never spend another night without him.

A heavy weight across her chest pulled Ava from a dreamless sleep and straight into a nightmare. Disoriented, she could only work out was that someone was holding her down. Terror raced through her body as her fight or flight instinct kicked in with a vengeance. She had to get free! Oh God, it was happening again, he was going to hurt her—he had said he would, and now he was back!

Her mind went hazy as she started to fight like a cornered animal. She wouldn’t let this happen to her again. He would have to kill her this time or set her free. So she fought, she kicked and scratched every inch of skin that she could reach. She heard him howling in pain, which only fueled her need to inflict further damage. He would pay—this time she would hurt him as much as he had hurt her. This time, she would finally win.

“Ava! Ava! Goddammit, stop! Fucking hell, baby, wake up!”
A familiar voice broke through the haze her bloodlust, causing her to pause. Mac? Had he come to save her this time? She turned toward his voice, wondering
why he kept telling her to wake up. Couldn’t he see that she was being attacked? “Ava . . . open your eyes. Baby, look at me.”

Her heart started racing as a different kind of fear set in. As her eyes fluttered open, she struggled to keep them open against the bright glare filling the room. As she blinked, slowly adjusting to the light, she looked at the man holding her pinned beneath him in dawning horror. “No, oh, please no,” she whispered as she looked at the blood tricking from his nose and the corner of his mouth. Red welts dotted his cheeks and neck along his chest and arms. “Please tell me I didn’t do that to you,” she cried even though she knew there was no other explanation. She had been fighting what she thought was an attack against her when all the while it had been all in her head. It was Mac. The man who would never physically hurt her.

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby,” he whispered repeatedly as he pulled her against his battered body. She completely lost it in what she now recognized as the shelter of his arms. Her sobs filled the room along with her garbled apologies.

She couldn’t understand how something like this had happened. She’d had nightmares about the night of her attack, as anyone would who had been through that sort of trauma. The dreams had almost completely stopped, though, several years ago, and she’d never once dreamed of hurting her attacker. In her dreams, she was always the victim, always. “I—I don’t know what happened. I thought he . . . was back. That I was being—hurt again.” When she pulled back enough to
look into his face and saw the wounds she had wrought there, her stomach churned. Oh God, she was going to be sick. With no time to explain, she sprang from Mac’s embrace, stumbling toward the nearest bathroom. She barely reached the toilet before her stomach upended what little it contained into the porcelain bowl.

Ava tried to protest when Mac walked up behind her, then gently pulled her hair back while she succumbed to the dry heaves racking her body. He rubbed her back, making soothing sounds until the spasms finally passed. Leading her around as if she were a child, he helped her over to the bathroom sink and brought a spare toothbrush out of the cabinet for her. He poured her a cup of water and put the toothpaste on the brush before handing it to her.

She stood before him completely naked, having slept that way. After all that had transpired between them, modesty was the furthest thing from her mind. Mac had donned a pair of boxers at some point. He reached behind her and started the shower. Without saying a word, he checked the water temperature before stepping out of his boxers and pulling her into the steamy heat with him. Then he washed her like a child, before making quick work of soaping up his own body. Even though he touched every inch of her, there was nothing sexual in his movements. They were both still traumatized by what had happened earlier.

After he had dried them both, he handed her a pair of his boxers and a clean T-shirt. The boxers hung low, but she turned the waistband down a few times and managed to keep them on. The bedside clock said
seven, which meant she needed to be at the office in less than two hours. Beside her, Mac dressed in his usual business attire of a company polo shirt and cargo pants. She knew he was watching her the entire time; she could feel his eyes on her.

“Coffee?” he asked as she finally returned his stare. When she nodded, he took her hand and led her toward the kitchen. By unspoken agreement, they waited until a steaming cup sat before each of them at the bar before talking.

After taking a fortifying sip of the hot brew, she closed the distance between them. The water had washed away the blood from his face, but the heat of the shower had made the welts more prominent. She reached out to touch his face, feeling tears welling once again. “I’m so sorry, Mac.”

His hands went to her waist, pulling her against him. She felt him exhale against the crown of her head. “What happened, baby? Are you having nightmares like this often?”

Sliding her hands around his waist, she let herself sink into his strength. “No, I’m not. There have been nightmares on and off but not recently. But I’ve never had one like this one. I was so determined to fight back. I was so angry. Even now, I can still remember all the hate coursing through me. I—I’ve never felt anything like it. I wanted to kill him. It wasn’t him I was hurting, though.” She shuddered at the recollection.

Mac was quiet for a moment, as if trying to gather his thoughts. “You said you’ve never . . . been with another man since that night?”

“That’s right,” she admitted, feeling embarrassed about the lengths she had gone to for years to convince him otherwise.

“So you haven’t slept with anyone either? I mean like spent the night with someone else in your bed?”

“No,” she answered, confused by his question. If she hadn’t had sex, wasn’t it obvious that she hadn’t had a sleepover either?

He removed his arms from her, and a squeak of surprise left her lips as he lifted her up to sit on his granite countertop. He laid a hand on each of her legs, opening them enough for him to settle between them. She put her hands on his shoulders, now that they were at eye level, and waited for him to continue his earlier conversation. “I’m a light sleeper, so you woke me up moving around restlessly. You were lying half under me, with my legs across the top of yours. I think since this wasn’t something—normal for you, that it might have triggered a nightmare. Feeling someone holding you down while in the midst of a dream could have changed the dynamics. Even though you were asleep, your subconscious was reacting to a threat.”

Feeling a wave of alarm, she cried, “If that’s true, this could happen again. Mac! I—I can’t do this to you again!”

Stroking her hair, he said, “Calm down, baby. I’m just thinking aloud. I think this is probably the most rational explanation for what happened. I don’t want to get into everything this morning, since we don’t have much time before work. But I think we need to discuss it tonight. Have you talked to anyone about
what happened to you since that night?” When she opened her mouth to answer, he held up his hand to stop her. “I mean in detail, Avie. Not just that you were . . . violated. The whole thing from start to finish and what happened afterward.”

“No,” she admitted, feeling almost surprised herself. Of course, people knew about her past, but she’d never really sat down and gone through everything. Even right after her attack, she had glossed over some of the details. Truthfully, she could see her grandfather’s face shutting down before her eyes as she had told him what happened. After that, each time she had omitted more and more until now it was almost like a rehearsed speech. In fact, she could see that she made light of her pain. Almost as if she were talking about someone else being raped and not herself.

Mac kissed her lightly, running his hands up and down her spine. “It’s going to be fine, baby. We’ll figure it out.” Dropping his hand to squeeze the swell of her bottom, he added, “Now move it, woman. I’ll follow you to your place so you can change.”

When he started to pull away, Ava gripped his hand. “What about your . . . face? You look like you’ve been attacked.”

Raising an eyebrow, Mac said, “Rough sex?” For the first time that morning, she had a hard time smothering a grin. “What?” Mac smiled in return. “You know that’s exactly what Dom and Gage will think. Might as well let ’em enjoy it.”

In perfect sync, they finished their coffee before grabbing their shoes and keys. Mac followed her to her
apartment and then insisted on walking her inside. He went through each room before leaving her on her doorstep, after a thorough kiss that left her feeling utterly befuddled. If he was trying to keep her mind off how she had attacked him in his own bed, he was doing a superb job. The problem was that once he and his magic mouth were gone, all Ava could think of was the long, angry scratches marring his handsome face. She felt a hum of dread. How could she be sure something like this would never happen again? She didn’t want to lash out at Mac while she was asleep and dreaming of the nightmare from her past. She had a sinking feeling that the bastard who had all but ruined her life was now going to take the only man she had ever loved from her.

*   *   *

Mac had to give his friends credit. He’d been at work for almost an hour and neither of them had mentioned his messed-up face. He was the first to admit that men weren’t the most observant of creatures, especially when it pertained to another man. A man might not notice a woman had a new hairstyle—like ever—but if the same woman got a boob job, he’d probably notice it within two minutes. The male sex just had different priorities in life. Sad maybe, definitely true. However, usually something as obvious as your friend looking as if three big-ass cats had clawed his face was at least going to get a comment if nothing else.

When they all took a seat at the conference room table for their morning roundup meeting, Gage looked first at him, then back at Dom. “Well, fuck, I’m just
going to get it out there. What are you into these days, brother? I mean, we all know that the object of your affection is the demure little number a few floors above us. I don’t see her ripping your ass up like that, so who have you been playing with and does she have a sister?”

Dominic hooted with laughter, causing the chair that he’d been balancing on its back legs to wobble precariously. “I like it rough sometimes myself, but I try to limit the claws to my back. You look like you had sex with the damn female equivalent of the
Lion King
.”

“Funny,” Mac deadpanned. “Like you two have any room to talk. I’ve seen you both sporting black eyes on more than one occasion.”

In typical fashion, Dominic was easily distracted and turned on the man beside him. “Yeah, Gage, how about that hot little number on the second floor who kneed you in the balls last week? Might not have left a visible mark, but damn, I bet you were singing soprano all night long.”

When Gage actually blushed, Mac looked at him in surprise. “Whoa, when did I miss this?” Gage kept his mouth shut and continued to look uncomfortable. Mac turned back to Dominic, saying, “I know I’m going to regret this, but explain.”

Dominic smirked in obvious enjoyment. “Well, you see there’s this woman in customer service who our resident Don Juan has struck out with. Not only has he
not
gotten into her panties, but she attacked the family jewels when he grabbed her in the parking garage last
week. Guess she didn’t hear him coming and when he put his hands on her, she thought she was being mugged or something. I saw the whole damn thing. Only wish I had gotten it on video. She was wearing some black kick-ass heels and a tight skirt. It was a fucking sexy vision when she laid our boy here out on the ground. I’m not one hundred percent certain, but I’m pretty sure I saw a tramp stamp on her lower back when she bent over to see if he was breathing afterward.”

“No way.” Mac laughed. It seemed as if he wasn’t the only one getting his ass kicked by a woman lately. Maybe it was twisted, but it made him feel much better.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, ladies. My balls might have been up around my neck for about twelve hours, but I’m still more of a man than either one of you,” Gage grumbled.

Dominic snickered in reply. “That was weak, dude, but since you’ve been recently emasculated, I’ll let it slide.”

Gage whirled around in his chair, seeming to lose his usual good sense of humor. “Oh, really, Dom? Well, why don’t we talk about your lack of success with the woman you’ve been pining over like a little bitch?”

Mac watched in interest as the smirk fell off Dominic’s face to be replaced by a scowl. Shit, had he missed all the good stuff lately? Looking over at his frowning friend, he asked, “So, who are you lusting after now?” Truthfully, he was just relieved to hear that Dominic was interested in anyone else other than Ava. Unless . . . ? “Man, it had better not be my woman,” he warned.

“Boy, that’s hitting a little too close to home, isn’t it, Dom?” Gage taunted.

“Gage,” Dominic warned, “shut your damn piehole, man, before I shut it!”

Mac was starting to feel like a bobble-head as his eyes jerked from Gage to Dominic and then back again. “All right, you two are starting to piss me off.” Leveling his gaze at Dominic, he added, “Ava and I are together now, so you’d better not be sniffing at her skirt or I’ll kick your ass.”

Gage flopped forward onto the table, seeming to find the whole thing hilarious now that he was no longer the subject of conversation. “Go back a little further, bro,” Mac heard him gasp out.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Dominic suddenly boomed as he stood up. “It’s Gwen, all right? Big-mouthed Nancy over there is talking about Gwen! Now go ahead and lose your shit so we can get past this.”

Floored, Mac repeated, “Gwen? You mean you like Gwen?”

Dominic looked at him warily as he said, “It’s been more like I lust Gwen, but I guess like plays a part in it too.”

“She does have a nice, big, juicy, round—ouch!” Gage howled as Dominic threw a pen at his head with perfect aim.

Still confused, Mac said, “So let me get this straight. You’ve got a thing for Gwen? How long has this been going on?” Mac knew the fact that he was more curious than upset was very telling about the level of his feelings for the woman he had just stopped seeing.