Always Loving You (11 page)

With a trembling smile, she sighed. “I hear you.” After that, Mac wasted no more time with conversation. He turned her, backing her toward his bed. With a gentle push, she was sitting on the edge. He dropped to his knees, nudging between her parted thighs. He used his hands to pull her closer as he kneaded her ass. His mouth devoured hers, sipping, licking, and nipping at her lips. After an initial hesitation on her part, she shyly slipped her tongue into his willing mouth and thought that she’d never tasted anything sweeter. As he staked claim to her mouth, his hands glided up her back before slowly circling to the front. At his initial contact
with her nipple, she stiffened. He used his other hand to lightly stroke her side, easing her back into a state of relaxation before he continued with her other breast. Soon, every squeeze of her sensitive peaks sent a lightning bolt of heat directly to her clit.

When he lowered his head, sucking one of her nipples into his hot mouth, she gasped in pleasure. “Oh, Mac . . . Oh . . . ah!” She continued to moan, mumbling incoherently as sensation after sensation assaulted her body. She dug her fingers into Mac’s hair, pulling the short dark strands. If she was hurting him, he never let on. He eased her back on the bed, keeping her legs dangling off the end. When she would have scooted up, he held her ankles to stop her. She watched in nervous enthrallment as he shifted back before pulling one of her legs up and running his tongue down the length of it, before he repeated the process on the other leg. She looked at him uncertainly as he settled each leg over his shoulder, leaving her open and exposed, only inches from his face. Oh, dear Lord. “Mac . . . what—no! Oh!”

When she had seen his intent, she panicked, trying to wiggle away. But when he held her firm and touched his tongue to her center, she shouted in surprise and pleasure.

“Baby, you taste incredible, so sweet. I could stay between these legs forever.”

At his fervent declaration, Ava felt her body start to relax. She still had to fight the urge to close herself off, but with every swipe of Mac’s tongue, her inhibitions were diminishing. Within moments, all she could focus
on was the throbbing in her core. She was so close to the edge she just needed something—more to push her off the edge. Mac was anchoring her hips in place and she was ready to crawl out of her skin. Hearing her moans echoing off the walls, she tried to bite down on her lip to mute the sounds. All of that went out the window, though, when Mac pushed a thick finger inside her.

A garbled scream ripped from her throat, probably waking the people a mile away as her body roared toward a toe-curling, hair-pulling, finger-clenching orgasm.
“Oh God!”

Mac chuckled as he kissed her thigh before standing. “I’m not God, baby, but I’m flattered that you think so.” With a sexy curl of his lips, he dropped his boxers and stood before her in all his glory.

Ava’s eyes, which were already crossed from her epic orgasm, were about to bug out of her head as she took in all that was Mac. He made her ample-size vibrator look tiny in comparison. She felt a trickle of unease as she pondered how he could possibly fit inside her without tearing her apart. When he walked to the bedside drawer and pulled out a condom, she said, “I’m on the pill.” She didn’t want to put a damper on the moment and tell him that she had been since shortly after her attack. It was just another area of her life where she could ensure that she was safe. He looked surprised for a moment and then tossed the condom back in the drawer. She scooted backward on the bed as Mac started prowling toward her. He looked like a sleek jungle cat, and she felt like his trembling prey. She
wanted him—so much—but now her overactive mind was worrying about the logistics of it all. “Mac,” she whispered uncertainly, needing his reassurance.

As his body came down to cover hers, she felt another wave of panic. It was going to hurt, and he was going to be on top of her . . . holding her down with his weight. She grabbed his forearms, ready to fight to be free, when he suddenly shifted and in a move so fast it made her head spin, Mac was on the bottom and she was on the top. Without thought, she sat up on his stomach, feeling his hard cock pressing against her ass. Mac now had his hands firmly on her hips. “I told you, baby, you’re in control here. I would never force anything to happen that you didn’t want. You hold the power, you call the shots. I’m just here to give you whatever
you
want.”

Ava listened to his words in surprise. How did he know? It was as if he had heard every crazy thought running through her mind. She wanted him so much, but he was right, she needed to be in control, at least this first time. All of her choices had been taken from her the last time. She had been completely helpless and at the mercy of another person. Someone bigger and stronger than she was. But now Mac was giving her back a piece of what had been so brutally ripped away from her. “Oh, Mac.” She sighed as she leaned down to take his lips in hers. True to his word, his hands stayed locked on her hips as he let her take what she wanted, how she wanted. She kissed and explored every inch of his upper body that she could reach. A heady sense of power filled her as Mac shuddered at her slightest
touch. He growled wildly as she licked and nipped his nipples.

She knew he could feel the dampness of her core on his stomach as she shifted restlessly, trying to ease the ache throbbing between her thighs. She wanted him inside her so badly it hurt, but in her innocence, she wasn’t sure how to take him slowly from this position. “What do you need, Avie?” Mac asked as she continued to wiggle against him, biting her lips in frustration.

“I . . . just . . . need your help.” She felt her face flush as she stammered her request. She was embarrassed that she had no idea what to do next. If Mac hadn’t still been hard as stone against her bottom, she would be terrified that he was tired of her clumsy foreplay.

His hands shifted to her waist as he started lifting her. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. You’re still in the driver’s seat, though. You tell me when you want more, okay?” At her nod, he stopped with her suspended over his cock, before lowering her just enough to push his thick head inside. They both inhaled loudly, and the room filled with their soft pants and groans.

Mac held her weight as if she weighed no more than a feather. As she adjusted to his intrusion, she simply said, “More.” He lowered her an inch at a time, always waiting for the words before he went farther. Ava’s body struggled to accommodate his size, and prickles of pain warred with pleasure. She was stretched to overflowing, feeling as if his cock was sitting on her cervix when he finally stopped. His entire length was now inside her, and she was almost afraid to move. What if the pain outweighed the desire starting to burn
brighter? Maybe she should start small . . . just to see. Experimentally, Ava wiggled her hips, lifting just a tiny bit before sitting back down on Mac’s cock. “Ohhh myyy,” she groaned, unable to comprehend the sensations brought on by that one small move. Under her, Mac had gone rigid, as if fighting for control. She lifted farther the next time, pulling up a couple of inches before slamming back down harder. Without conscious thought, her hands went to her breasts and she pinched her nipples tightly, whimpering with her need for release. “Mac, please,” she begged as she ground against the base of his cock.

He thrust his hips upward, pushing his big member deeper inside her. Ava felt her vision blur as her body flew toward a bliss that she had never known before. Mac was using his big hands to lift her almost completely off his length before bringing her back down. “Lean over, baby,” he demanded. She fell against his chest, feeling his cock continue to stroke in and out of her as his lips took hers in a scalding kiss. They devoured each other’s mouths before he said, “Put your nipple in my mouth, Avie.” She whimpered as he sucked her stiff peak. He nipped the tip, before soothing the sting with his tongue. “Baby, you feel so fucking good,” he moaned as she sat back up, meeting him thrust for thrust now.

Something was happening to her, and she was almost afraid to see it through. Her entire body seemed to be tingling. She vaguely wondered if Mac was giving her a heart attack. As she tried to pull back, scared by the intensity of the feelings racing through her, Mac
seated himself deeply one more time while reaching a hand to pinch her clit. Her world froze in that moment, everything seeming to happen in slow motion. Her ears roared, her breath stuttered, and then it all came back into focus in one big explosion. Her body clasped around his as an endless contraction seemed to start deep inside her. She vaguely heard him yell her name before she collapsed weightless against his heaving chest. His hands were on her back now, stroking her, as they remained joined together.

The room was still slightly out of focus when she felt Mac separate from her, despite her protests. He came back to the bed and cleaned her with a cloth before disappearing into the bathroom. She heard water running for a short time and then he was back, picking her up and sliding her under the covers and into his arms. Ava felt completely and deliciously spent as she traced lazy circles on Mac’s chest. “I . . . just—wow,” she said with a goofy smile. “I love your penis,” she added before clapping a hand across her mouth in horror. Shit, she hadn’t meant to say that aloud!

Mac’s chest shook beneath her as he let out a booming laugh. “Is this the part of the night where I admit to loving your vagina as well?”

Ava buried her hot face into Mac’s chest. Was she completely twisted that his praise of her vagina actually turned her on again? “Sleep, baby,” he said against the top of her head. When one of his hands cupped her butt, pulling her even closer, she was amazed to find that she actually could relax enough with a man—her man—to drift away.

*   *   *

Mac lay awake long after Ava had fallen asleep. He couldn’t believe the moment that he had dreamed of for most of his adult life had finally happened. Ava was tucked tightly against him after rocking him to his very foundation. He’d always expected sex with Ava would be good, but he hadn’t expected it to eclipse even his wildest dreams.

He had felt her tense up while he was on top of her, and he’d known she was starting to panic. It would have killed him, but he would have stopped right then if necessary. Switching her to the power position had been his one attempt to see if she would be able to overcome her fear if she felt she was in control. He had continued to watch her for any sign that she was scared. After a few minutes, she had relaxed and taken charge. She was so incredibly sexy and responsive—he had been forced to grit his teeth and quote every useless bit of sports statistics that he could think of to keep from blowing his load early. Just the feel of her tight passage milking him as he buried himself in her inch by slow inch had damn near driven him to madness.

His cock was still hard where it nestled against her thigh. He’d love nothing better than to slip back inside her. But the last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm her after she had taken such a big step. No doubt, she was probably sore as well after their intense bout of lovemaking.

As the light of early morning started to slip into the room, he looked down at the sleeping woman in his arms. He wanted to shout his love for her at the top of
his lungs, but years of loving Ava had taught him a hard and painful lesson—she would run in the blink of an eye if she felt threatened. Where his instinct was to put a ring on her finger, what he needed to do now was to take things slow. She was here, in his bed. Now he needed to give her the space to accept that they belonged together.

He’d fix Ava a nice breakfast when she woke and then take his cues from her. If she mentioned something about leaving, he would let her without making a big deal of it. He wouldn’t make the first move even if it meant a constant case of blue balls. He needed to let her stay in control, because he couldn’t stomach the thought of scaring her away now that things had finally progressed. “Whatever you need, baby,” he whispered against the crown of her head, and he meant it. If having her meant taking a step back, he could do that. If it meant that she would be with him for good in the end, he could do whatever it took.

Ava had surprised Suzy by dragging her to lunch on Monday. Emma had a standing lunch date with Brant most Mondays, and Ava hadn’t wanted to take her brother’s fiancée away. Of course, if Emma had had any clue as to what Ava wanted to talk about, she would have kicked Brant to the curb in the blink of an eye. Truthfully, she couldn’t believe that Emma hadn’t picked up on what had happened to her over the weekend. She felt as if she had the words
I’ve had amazing sex
written across her face for all to see.

Suzy and Ava had never spent any time alone before they had been Ella’s whipping board at the hospital on Saturday. After being called all sorts of creative forms of whore with her coworker, Ava felt that their relationship had moved well past acquaintance to friends. “Hey, slut.” Suzy smiled, seeming genuinely happy to see her.

“Hey, tramp,” Ava teased in return. Just a week ago, she couldn’t have imagined calling anyone something like that so easily, but Ella had certainly changed that for them. Ava was secretly afraid that now she would
start using the word “whore” as if it were a common, household word.

After studying her menu, Suzy glanced up long enough to say, “You look like you got lucky sometime recently. Care to elaborate?”

Ava’s mouth dropped open as she stared at the other woman’s head in shock. “Wh-what?”

Still not looking up, Suzy said, “Oh, come on, you’re all loose and relaxed. No offense, but before, you were so tense and frustrated that I wanted to go into the nearest closet and masturbate for you.”

Ava gawked as Suzy finally looked up at her. Eventually, she gave a resigned huff before saying, “I can see why you and Emma get along so well. Neither of you believes in holding anything back.”

Suzy shrugged. “I blame it on my parents. Years of distance and many self-help books have led me to the conclusion that I had to shock them with my words to get any attention, be it good or bad. Anyway, back to you. So you obviously had sex with someone. Can I assume it was Mac?”

Ava flushed before reminding herself that she had arranged the lunch date for precisely this reason. After admitting to Suzy that she had slept with Mac, she skimmed over the details even though Suzy insisted that she elaborate on a few things. “Yes—er . . . he was very—you know—big.”

Suzy banged her fist against the table, yelling, “I knew it!” loud enough to have every head in the restaurant turning toward them.

“Oh my God,” Ava moaned as she slid down farther in her chair.

“Oops. Sorry about that.” When one particularly nosy couple kept staring at them, Suzy stared back. “Hey, show’s over, buddy. Eyes back in the front.” The couple gasped before turning abruptly away. Thankfully, Suzy’s voice dropped considerably when she turned back to Ava. “So, he was big and he went downtown, yay! Since you look like you’re about to stroke out over there, I’ll let you off the hook for now. Did you stay afterward?”

Ava propped her head in her hands, finally getting to the part that was bothering her. “Yeah, I did. It was already morning anyway. We slept late and when we got up, Mac made me breakfast. He kissed me good morning, which was good—very good. As we were eating, I felt like I should make some attempt at mentioning plans for the day so he wouldn’t feel as if I was expecting him to entertain me . . . even though I wanted to stay with him. So I said that I needed to run errands and do laundry.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said, ‘Good deal. Call me later on if you think of it.’ I sat there trying not to look disappointed that he didn’t seem to care if I stayed or not. I mean . . . I thought we would, you know, do it again and spend the day together.”

“Hmm,” Suzy mused, “did he kiss you good-bye? I mean, not just a kiss on the cheek, but a tongue-swallowing kind of kiss.”

Ava shifted around in her seat before admitting, “He
kissed me like he wanted to inhale me. He was excited, I could feel that. But then he just let me go.”

“So, did you call him last night?”

Nodding, Ava said, “I called him before bed, and we talked for almost two hours. He said he missed me, but he didn’t ask me to come over. I would have, you know. I’d have jumped out of bed and gone to him right then if he had given me any indication that he wanted that. So, what do you think? Am I doing something wrong?”

“Shit, I don’t know.” Suzy grimaced. “I mean, I’m not exactly a poster child for romance. My first steady boyfriend and fiancé cheated on me with his dentist, and Gray pursued me with the same single-minded determination that he does everything. He didn’t exactly send me any mixed signals; he made sure I knew exactly what he wanted every time we were together. I never have to wonder if he wants me or if he’s in the mood, because he’s always in the mood—always.”

Confused, Ava looked at Suzy in shock. “But . . . you give everyone advice. You’re like the Danvers dating guru. Am I’m such a hopeless case that you’re stumped?”

Suzy patted Ava’s shoulder. “No, crap no, that’s not it at all.” Looking strangely uneasy, she said, “It’s just that you’ve been through a lot, Ava, and I don’t want to do anything to mess this up for you. You deserve to be happy, and you seem so close to making that happen. I’m just afraid of giving you the wrong piece of advice and screwing something up.” Shredding the paper napkin she had gripped in her hands, Suzy continued. “Sometimes, when you didn’t think anyone was looking, I saw the pain that you try so carefully to hide. I’m
a people watcher, always have been. Not sure how I missed the signs that my ex was cheating on me, though. That one’s still a mystery.”

Ava was uncomfortable at the thought of someone studying her so closely, but also strangely touched that Suzy seemed to care about what happened to her. Squeezing the other woman’s hand briefly, she swallowed the lump in her throat and attempted to lighten the mood. “Thank you . . . for caring. But if we put my past issues aside and pretend that I’m, say . . . Emma, what would you tell me to do?”

Suzy narrowed her eyes, seeming to give the question serious consideration. “Well, I guess if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. In other words, all the stuff that you’ve been doing to get Mac’s attention seems to be working like a charm. You’ve had sex—obviously the wonderful, dirty kind—and he’s no longer with G-lo, so you hold all the cards now. Did you have something else planned to drive him crazy?”

“Well, I’m supposed to have a surf lesson today.”

Suzy cringed immediately. Emma’s sister’s death was still fresh in all their minds. “I don’t think that’s the best idea. Couldn’t you come up with anything else?”

“I know.” Ava sighed. “But living in a beach town means most of the activities here revolve around the beach. I’m going to cancel it.”

“Hey, I’ve got it! How about parasailing? I’ve done it a few times before and it’s awesome. I could go with you. They’ll even let us go up together. It’s just down the beach from our house, so you could come over this afternoon and we’ll walk there.”

“And Gray doesn’t freak out over you doing stuff like that?”

Suzy grinned, looking completely mischievous. “Well, of course he freaks out, but he knows he can’t change me. He just makes it his mission to catch me if I fall.”

“It sounds scary,” Ava admitted, “but kinda fun.”

“Best part, Gray has been saying for a week that he needs to get Mac to come over because he wants to upgrade our security system. I’ll suggest he do that this evening while I’m out. Actually, I’ll insist on it.”

Feeling embarrassed, Ava asked, “You aren’t going to tell Gray why, are you? I mean, I have to face him over a conference table at least once a week. I don’t want him to think I’m some desperate woman trying to pick up a man. Even though I guess I am.”

Shaking her head, Suzy smiled. “Nah, I won’t tell him. He’s a little gun-shy on the whole matchmaking thing after having his brother and my sister making out secretly in our house for weeks before we found out. I still think about them screwing on our kitchen counter when I’m in there, but what are you going to do? It happened.”

Ava choked on her sip of tea at Suzy’s matter-of-fact analysis of Nick and Beth’s courtship. She could easily picture both Gray and Suzy avoiding their kitchen like the plague. “Oh my God, that’s funny. Poor Nick and Beth.”

“Poor them? Shit, poor us! I’d burn the place down if I didn’t love it so much.”

Their food arrived and after taking a few bites, Ava asked, “So, what time should I be at your house?”

“Can you be there around five thirty? You can wear one of my swimsuits to keep from going home first.”

Ava tried not to imagine what a swimsuit of Suzy’s might possibly look like. She’d have to borrow a T-shirt to put over it. “Sure, that sounds good.”

“Cool, now get out your phone and text something naughty to Mac. Just to let him know where your head is.”

Her sandwich dropped back onto her plate with a thump as her eyes widened. “Wh-what?”

“You did say for me to give you the same advice that I would Emma. Well, that’s what I would tell her. All men love hearing that you’re thinking of
THAT
. Trust me, I practice what I preach. Gray gets some interesting texts and it never fails to make for a memorable evening.”

Despite herself, Ava was intrigued. She’d never done anything like that, since she’d never actually had a boyfriend. It did sound fun, though, just like something someone normal would do. “So, what would I say?”

Suzy winked at her, saying, “Well, the last one I sent Gray said something like ‘thinking of you while I touch myself,’ but since he knows you’re at work or in this case at lunch, it might be harder to pull that one off—but not impossible, mind you. Maybe we should start off kind of mild, just so this first text doesn’t send him over the edge. How about . . . ‘I know you’re busy today, but can you add one thing to your to-do list? Me’?”

“What?” Ava shrieked. “I can’t say that!”

“Oh, come on, why not? It’s perfect. It starts out as
business and ends as a party. It’s just the right amount of sweet and sexy. I guarantee that he’ll be busting out the zipper of his pants within sixty seconds of reading that.”

Red-faced, Ava said, “Oh . . . I can’t, I just—what would he think if I said something like that to him?”

“Honey, what he’d think is that you want him as much as he wants you and that you’re not afraid to let him know. It’ll also shock the shit out of him in an ‘I’m so hard I could explode in my pants’ kind of way.” Eyeing Ava’s clenched expression, she let out a growl. “You aren’t going to do it, are you? Ugh, just go ahead and say something like ‘thinking of you’ or some other PG stuff.”

Ava grabbed her cell phone before she could change her mind. It was just a text message. She and Mac had had sex. Honest-to-goodness, real sex. A text message was nothing. She needed to be comfortable joking around with him. This was the kind of thing that women in relationships did all the time, wasn’t it? Suzy had admitted to doing it with Gray. Mac had a great sense of humor; he would love something like this. With Suzy looking on in approval, she typed out the message word for word as her friend repeated it and then hit
SEND
. There, it was done. No turning back now.

She really, really hoped that Mac was a lover of sexting.

*   *   *

Mac was in the middle of a staff meeting with Dom, Gage, and five of their employees when his phone chimed to alert him to a new text. When Gage started going through some new reporting procedures with
the other men, Mac picked up his phone, surprised to see that it was from Ava. He smiled as he clicked on it, hoping that she wanted to see him tonight. He was still trying to honor his plan to let her control the pace of their relationship until she was more comfortable, but damn, he missed her already. His eyes almost bugged out of his head when he read—
I know you’re busy today, but can you add one thing to your to-do list? Me.

“Fuck me.” Mac had no idea that he had uttered those words aloud until all heads at the table swiveled his way.

Gage looked at him in question before giving him a sarcastic grin. “Something you wanted to add?”

“Um—no. All good here,” he grumbled in reply. Shifting uneasily in his chair, he tried to alleviate the ache in his crotch where his cock was now pushing painfully against his zipper. He didn’t think he’d ever had a problem with fighting wood during a meeting with the guys before and it was damn disconcerting. Even Dom was giving him a funny look. Thank God there was no way that they could see what was happening to him under the table.

As if it hadn’t done enough damage the first time, he looked at the text message again, needing to make sure that he had read it correctly. Yeah, shit, there was no mistaking what she had said. He desperately wanted to run from the room, go straight upstairs, rip her panties off, and fuck her on the top of her well-organized desk. Instead, with a none-too-steady hand, he texted back
My house tonight, eight
. His hand hovered over the
SEND
button before deciding on a little payback. He added two words before hitting
SEND
—
No panties.

The rest of the meeting passed by in a blur. He was grateful that he had been the first to speak and had finished the items on his agenda before Ava’s text. As it was, he was so scattered that both Gage and Dom had gone from looking curious to downright concerned. Wanting to avoid the questions that he knew would be coming, he’d gathered his stuff and left early for his next appointment. At moments like this he hated the fact that the men he worked with were like a bunch of nosy, gossiping women.