All for Maddie (14 page)

“That sounds like a wonderful
idea. I have all the time in the world too. Alex is like a new toy for Maddie.
She wants him to do everything for her now.”

“He is crazy in love with
her. Come on, I’ll drive.”

I swore that Alex was
adopted. There was no way he came from this family. I freaking loved Regan. She
was crazy as crazy comes. I almost peed my pants more than once, laughing at
her. She told me stories about her and Vince, stories that I was sure he
wouldn’t have appreciated, the funniest labor story of all time, and even some
stories about Alex growing up, like swallowing an Alka-Seltzer on a dare and
crying because his tummy was fizzing and he had bubbles in there. She said he
cried every time he belched.

I hadn’t realized we had been
sitting outside on the sidewalk of the little coffee shop for over an hour. My
phone rang with the ringtone that I definitely had to change. 

“Hello.”

“Did you get lost,” Alex
asked.

I wanted to tell him that it
was none of his business where I was. However, I didn’t. We were supposed to be
this happy little couple in love. I didn’t want Regan to think otherwise, for
whatever reason.

“No, I actually ran into your
sister. We’re having coffee.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding
surprised. “Well, I will have supper ready in about an hour. Don’t listen to a
word she says.”

“I was going to cook,” I
whined.

“You can cook tomorrow.
Maddie was getting hungry.”

“Alright, I’m leaving now.
Did you want me to pick up some Alka-Seltzer while I am out?”

“You tell my sister that I
despise her. And make sure she tells you the whole story. She made me eat it.”

I laughed. She didn’t tell me
that part. I loved her. Why couldn’t she have fed him dynamite?

<><><> 

“I’m going to take it she
didn’t have a nap?” I assumed as I put away groceries. Maddie was whining,
wanting the bag of gummy bears that I tried to keep hidden. I gave her two and
that pissed her off. She wanted a red one, a green one, a blue one, a yellow one,
and a white one, which wasn’t even a choice.

“No, Maddie, you can have
some after you eat your supper,” Alex tried. That caused her to throw herself
on the floor and scream. He tried to pick her up. She arched her back, slid out
of his arms, and kicked him right in the shin.

He picked her up and carried
her out. I could tell that he was mad. It showed. I wasn’t sure whether or not
to intervene. I would have just given them to her. I knew that wasn’t going to
work with him. I stood still, listening as he reprimanded her and sat her on
the bottom step. She got up. He sat her back down. She got up. He sat her back
down. I stood in the door watching as she cried for her mommy, trying to come
to me, only to be sat back on the step.

“You can’t act like that, Madelyn.
You can’t kick daddy, and you can’t throw a tantrum because you want gummy
bears. You eat your supper and then you can have candy. You sit here and be a
good girl for three minutes and you can get up?”

Maddie screamed. “I want my
mommy.” She got up. He sat her back down. I couldn’t take it. She wasn’t used
to that. I didn’t like him making her cry and upsetting her like that.

I walked out and picked her
up. He took her right out of my arms and sat her back on the steps. “Don’t!” he
demanded as Maddie screamed, reaching for me.

“Alex, she’s not used to
this. Let me take her.”

“No, Whit. She is not going
to act like this, and you’re not going to let her.”

“You are not going to be mean
to her,” I demanded, getting pissed.

“Don’t move,” he said,
pointing to Maddie as he stood to meet me. “I am not being mean to her. You and
everyone she knows has let her get away with murder, whatever Maddie wants,
Maddie gets. She’s going to get kicked out of preschool the first day. Walk
back into the kitchen and let me handle her.”

I wanted to knee him in the
nuts. I wanted to pick my daughter up and calm her cries. He wouldn’t let me
and it infuriated me to no end. I did the only thing I could and stomped back
to the kitchen. I stayed at the door and observed.

“Stop crying and daddy will
let you get up,” he said, sitting beside of her. She tried to crawl on his lap
and he stopped her. “No. You have to sit there and be a good girl for a couple
more minutes.”

Maddie stopped throwing her
fit as soon as she realized that he wasn’t mommy and she wasn’t going to get
her way.

“That’s my girl. Are you
going to kick daddy again?”

“No,” she said in a whiny
voice, wiping her tears with her little fingers.

“Can you tell daddy that
you’re sorry?”

“I sorwy.”

“Come here,” he said, taking
her in his arms and loving her.

That wasn’t the last of the
time outs that night. Maddie threw a handful of lima beans across the room when
she tried to tell her daddy she didn’t like them. She once again sat on the
bottom step.

“I not wike wima beans,” she
wailed over and over. Alex sat beside her, made her sit every time she tried to
get up, and started her three minutes once she calmed down. She even ate three
of the lima beans.

I started cleaning up after
supper, wanting to bathe my daughter and spend the evening with her, letting
her know that mommy wasn’t going to be mean to her. I knew I shouldn’t have
thought that way. She was a brat, but it wasn’t her fault. It was everyone
else’s fault. She was the only baby at the resort, everyone loved her and
nobody could say no to Maddie.

“Come on, sweetie, let’s go
take a bath,” I coaxed.

“You can go. I’ll finish
cleaning up,” Alex offered. I responded with a dirty look, taking Maddie’s
hand.

I ran the tub full of bubbles
and got in, sitting her in front of me.

“I see my Papaw,” Maddie
sadly said, as I washed her arms and legs.

“Papaw’s coming to see you
tomorrow,” I said, sounding excited.

“How many sweep times?”

“One. When you wake up, he’s
going to come and see you.”

“And Nana too?”

“Yup, Nana is coming to see
you too. They miss you.”

“JESUS ALEX!” I screamed,
turning toward the door, covering my breasts with my arm.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you
were taking a bath too.”

“GET OUT!” I screamed when he
stood there, staring. Oh my God, I couldn’t live here. I couldn’t live with
that man. I was going to end up in a nut house.

My dad couldn’t believe our
house, well, Alex’s house. He was in love with the barbeque pit by the pool and
informed Alex that he was in charge of making the steaks later, for Alex’s
family.

I was a nervous wreck,
thinking about our families coming together. Alex thought it was necessary for
whatever reason. Maddie clung to my dad for a while, and then right back to her
daddy. I couldn’t wait for Regan to get there. I needed a drink. I wasn’t
worried that they wouldn’t get along. It wasn’t that. His family truly was just
like mine, other than they had a lot more money, and I was sure they didn’t
work as hard as my dad did. I was more nervous about the sleeping arrangements
that I was going to be expected to adhere to. And the fact that Alex thought it
essential to touch me whenever other people were around.

Connie, Dana, Regan, and
myself took care of the side dishes while the men tended to the meat and the
two girls outside. Well, actually Dana and Connie took care of the side dishes.
Regan and I just drank some sort of contraption she threw together. It was
delicious, pineapple juice, vodka, and Sprite. I’m not sure if it had a name,
but it sure was tasty. It calmed my nerves. By the second one I could already
feel it. I needed food.

“Mommy, me did pee,” Maddie
said coming into the kitchen with wet pants. She tended to have accidents when
she was too busy to come in and go potty. She loved Trenton, which was her
distraction to make it to the bathroom.

“Come on, Nana will help
you,” Dana offered taking her hand.

Alex walked behind me and
kissed me on the back of the neck. “How much longer on your stuff, Mom? Can we
put the meat on?” he asked, walking away just like that. I eyed him cautiously
as he took the plate of steaks from his mom and winked at me. Why he did that,
I wasn’t sure. Nobody saw him.

“I have never seen him like
this, Whitley,” Connie admitted, staring after him.

“That’s because Whitley here
is the only one that could give him a baby,” Regan replied.

“What do you mean?” I asked,
turning to her.

“She means, a beautiful baby.
There is no way anyone else could have made such a beautiful little girl with
him,” Connie chimed in. I wasn’t buying it. I saw the look they exchanged, the
look from Connie to Regan, telling her to shut up. There was a reason for the
statement. I was sure of it.

“Come on, let’s go outside
with the guys,” Connie insisted.

“We’ll be out as soon as we
mix a drink,” Regan promised.

“What did you mean by that,
Regan,” I asked, as soon as Connie was out of earshot.

“By what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Why
am I the only one that could give Alex a baby?”

“I didn’t mean anything by
it. Stop analyzing. I was just remarking on how cute your child is. That’s it.”
She walked away and I followed with a fresh drink.

My dad and Rob talked about
fishing of all things.

“Papaw, I feed a fish,”
Maddie said. They just had to go and mention fish.

“You can feed the fish tomorrow.
Papaw is going to take you home with him for a couple of days.”

“Dad, you can’t just come and
take her. You have to discuss this with Alex and me first,” I assured him. No
way. No way in hell was he taking her back to the resort and leaving me alone
with Alex.

“I did. Alex and I already
talked about it. I knew you wouldn’t mind. Do you?”

Well, hell.

“No, but I could come home
for a couple days. Alex could probably use a break to get some work done. He
has hardly been at his office since we got here.”

“No, I’m okay. My work is
getting done. I have a very critical helper. She’s quick to tell me if she
doesn’t like it. I removed an elephant the other day for a monkey. Maddie said
the elephant was too big. She was afraid he was going to step on the lady
bugs.”

What the hell? That’s the
look I gave Alex. Was he even serious? We’d kill each other. I needed another
drink.

We walked Alex’s family out
around eight. Maddie was getting tired and extremely fussy. I bathed her while
Alex showed my dad and Dana where they would sleep. He put them in a spare
bedroom off from the dining room, not wanting them to take my room due to all
of my belongings in a room separate from Alex’s. I was hoping that they turned
in before we did. I might not have to go upstairs at all. I could just sneak to
my room and they would never know.

My dad insisted on reading to
Maddie and when I went into check on them, he was sound asleep with her nestled
in his arms sleeping too. Great, Dana was in the living room watching the news.
It looked like I was going upstairs.

I jumped in his shower with
the multiple shower heads, hitting every inch of my body. I may need to shower
there more often. It felt amazing.

I was hoping that he was
still downstairs when I emerged. Fat chance, he was in bed, shirtless! I was in
long cotton pants and a long sleeve nightshirt. He laughed.

“Do you always sleep like
that?” he asked.

“No, only when I have to
share a bed with you. You should sleep on the floor. You’re the one that got us
into this mess.”

“It’s a king size bed. You
won’t even touch me.”

“I’m not worried about me
touching you.”

“I won’t touch you either.”

“Put a shirt on.”

“No, I’m not sleeping in a
shirt. You can take yours off too, if you want.”

“Don’t, Alex,” I warned.

He laughed. “I’m kidding.”

I sat on my side of the bed
and took another drink of the mixed drink I brought with me. I needed to be comatose,
passed out, incognito.  

“Haven’t you had enough of
that?” Alex asked.

“Go to sleep.”

I took one more drink and
laid down, far, far away from shirtless Alex. I couldn’t look at him. I
couldn’t look at his naked chest. It needed it to be dark.

“Turn the light off,” I
demanded.

I rolled over facing the
bathroom.

“Whit?”

“Hmmm?”

“Remember that night at the
party, you told me that your real mom lived in South Sioux City?”

“You remember that?” I asked,
rolling over to my back. It shocked the hell out of me that he remembered that.
Why would he remember that?

“Yes, do you see her?”

“No. Never.”

“You don’t talk to her?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really
know her. Why all the questions?”

“Just curious, what do you
mean you don’t really know her?”

I took a deep breath. “My
mother was Charlotte Westfall.”

Alex sat up. “Charlie Westfall,
the governor?”

“Yes, and you’re not allowed
to mention that to anyone. She wasn’t the governor when she had me. She never
wanted me. I’ve always been with my dad, ever since the day I was born.”

“What do you mean she didn’t
want you?”

“I can’t talk about this with
you, Alex. My dad signed a privacy disclosure when she gave me up. He wasn’t
even supposed to tell me.”

“He took you from the
hospital?”

“I just told you that I
couldn’t talk about it.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going
to tell anyone. I just can’t believe it. Charlotte Westfall is your mother?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“What do you mean how? She
got pregnant, didn’t want me, and handed me over to my dad once I was born.”

“Wait, she’s married to
Ronald Westfall. You’re only twenty-one they just celebrated their twenty-fourth
wedding anniversary. I saw it on the news.”

“Alex, let it go. It doesn’t
matter.”

“It does matter. She was
married and had an affair with your dad? How did that happen?”

“She was campaigning when she
was younger and stayed at the resort for a week. They hooked up. I don’t know
how it happened. I guess they must have had sex or something.”

“But, why didn’t she just say
that you belonged to her husband?”

“He had a vasectomy at the
age of twenty-one. He was determined to never have any offspring, I guess.”

“Why didn’t she just abort
you?”

“Boy would that have ever
made my life easier. My dad talked her out of it. He threatened to expose her
if she did that. She went home to Los Angeles where she would be inconspicuous
with the population, had me, and split. My dad flew to LA to get me.”

“Wow, Whit. That’s crazy.”

“Yeah, go to sleep.”

“What about her husband. He
had to know.”

“I’m sure he did. It’s kind
of hard to hide a pregnancy, believe me I know. I guess he forgave her.”

Alex got quiet. Was he giving
up? Nope.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone
what happened, Whit?”

“Alex, it was a long time
ago. Go to sleep.”

“It wasn’t that long ago. And
you are still very bitter about it.”

I snorted. That was an
understatement.

“I was afraid. I was only seventeen.
I didn’t want to disappoint my dad. I wasn’t even supposed to be at that
party.”

“I would have never touched
you had I known that you were underage.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice to
know. I’m glad you chose to only rape non-minors,” I mocked.

“It wasn’t like that, Whit. I
just, I don’t even know what the hell that was. I swear to God, I never did it
again. I was drunk.”

“Oh, well, then you’re
excused.”

“I don’t want to be excused.
I can’t change it, Whit. I wouldn’t change it now if I could. I wouldn’t have
Maddie in my life had things not turned out the way they did. I’m just saying
that I am sorry. I was a little out of it that night.”

I sat up. I couldn’t believe
how angry it still made me. “You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew you
were going to take me to your room the moment you approached me. Didn’t you
Alex?”

Alex didn’t reply.

“Didn’t you, Alex!” I yelled.

“Yes, Whit, I did.”

“Did you know I was a virgin?
Did you know that you took my virginity by raping me that night?”

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“How could you not, there was
blood.”

“I swear I didn’t see blood.
You were a virgin?”

“Yeah, I was. You took it and
got me pregnant.”

“I honestly don’t remember
much about it, Whitley.”

“You don’t remember much?”
That was the wrong words. It pissed me off.

“No.”

“How about I tell you what I
remember. I mean, it doesn’t seem quite fair that I’m left with all the
memories while you are clueless. I remember being envious of your bathroom and
the way that you lived. I remember being nervous when I walked out and you were
sitting on your bed waiting for me. I chugged my drink and looked over to you.
You were smiling a victory smile, because I had just took your bait in one
swallow. I’ll never forget that grin, Alex. Sometimes you smile like that now.
That is what I think of every time I see it.

I remember feeling dizzy all
of a sudden like I was going to pass out. You pushed me back on the bed and
told me not to worry, that I wouldn’t remember any of this. You lied. I
remember every fucking thing you did. You lifted my shirt and squeezed my
nipple. I told you to stop. I told you I didn’t want to do this. You just kept
telling me that I would enjoy it. You laughed and told me again that I wouldn’t
remember it. You took off my clothes. All of them, while I laid there helpless
and unable to get my muscles to move more than an inch or so. You spread my
legs, exposing me on your bed, and ran your fingers up my pussy. Do you
remember that, Alex? Do remember finger fucking me?”

“Whit, stop,” Alex tried. I
wasn’t stopping. He was going to remember every last detail.

“I’m just trying to refresh
your memory. You stood above me and removed your clothes. I couldn’t even cry.
I was crying on the inside, I was screaming on the inside. Unfortunately, my
tears or my scream didn’t work either. You stroked your turned on cock while
you fingered me. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I felt wet. I felt
turned on. I felt humiliated because I was enjoying it, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t
enjoying it at all and didn’t understand why my body was betraying me. That’s
your justification. You got me off, so it must have been okay. It wasn’t okay,
Alex.

You moved up to my mouth and
slid your dick between my lips. You fucked my mouth while you spoke dirty things
to me. Telling me how I liked sucking your dick: ah yes baby, take it all, suck
my dick. I guess you don’t remember any of that either. Do you?”

“Whitley,” Alex said,
touching my arm, trying to stop me again.

I jerked away and continued.
“My gag reflexes didn’t even work. You shoved your dick clear down my throat
and I couldn’t gag. I couldn’t do a Goddamn thing, but lay there and wait for
it to be over. You even had the nerve to tell me I needed to stop before you
shot your load in my mouth.

You moved between my legs and
stroked me with your tongue. That’s the part that made it okay in your mind.
That’s the part where you sucked and teased my clitoris while you finger fucked
me with two fingers. That’s when I had an orgasm. Right before you shoved your
dick inside of me. That part wasn’t numb either, Alex. I felt you rip my virginity
from my body while you pinched my nipples between your teeth. I felt that too.

You fucked me nice and slow
and then faster and harder. You rolled me over and fucked me sideways, towering
above me on your knees. You rolled me over more and fucked me from behind. You
pulled me to the side of the bed and fucked me standing up. That’s when you had
enough. That’s when you told me that you were going to come and I was going to
swallow it. You frantically pumped in and out of me and then suddenly pulled
out, came to my mouth, and shoved your dick down the back of my throat. I felt
that too. I tasted it, but guess what Alex? You left some behind. You left just
enough to create Maddie.”