All for Maddie (16 page)

“I’ll shoot you for it,” I
wagered.

“Forget it, I might as well
just do it.”

I listened to the one sided
conversation, wishing I could hear what he was saying.

“Hey, little brother,” she
cheerfully spoke into her phone.

“So, you see the thing is,
Whitley here’s a little drunk. She needs a ride home.”

“Yeah.”

“Could you maybe give me a
ride too?” she smiled at me.

“Blue Moon.”

“Because I like it here.”

“So.”

“Are you coming to get us or
you just going to lecture me all night? I am the eldest, you know?”

The ride home was quiet,
well, once loud mouth Regan got out anyway. Alex didn’t speak. I’m sure he
didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t speaking either, not until I tried to step
into the house and stumbled. He held my arm to steady me, landing us chest to chest.
Damnit, I hated being around men drunk. I needed to get laid. I needed to call
Jaron.

“You okay to make it to bed
by yourself?” he asked, holding my arms.

“No, maybe you should help
me,” I countered, pulling his shirt above his stomach. Holy fuck, I shouldn’t
have touched his bare skin. He grabbed my hands to stop me.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I am
doing?” I pulled my hands from his and ran them up his ribs. He stopped me
again.

“Go to bed, Whitley.”

I slid my hands around his neck
and kissed him, not like the little pecks that he had been giving me for show.
This was a full blown sexy as hell wet kiss. He kissed me back, briefly before
pulling away.

“What, Alex? Am I not passed
out enough for you? I bet two more drinks would do it,” I said, turning and
walking to the liquor cabinet. He stopped me there too.

“Go to bed, Whit. You’re not
drinking anymore.”

“Fine, come with me,” I said
removing my shirt, clumsily. He didn’t move. He stared like I had dumbfounded
him, like he was fighting his own demons. I moved my naked body back to his and
leaned into him, placing my hands on the snaps of his jeans. I could see his
erection as I looked down to my hands. He did want me. It was obvious.

“Stop, Whitley,” he demanded,
removing my hands.

“Fine,” I said pulling away.
“I’m going home to Jaron. Jaron will fuck me,” I assured him, heading to the
front door with no keys. I forgot that I needed those to make the car go. He
wrapped his arm around my shirtless waist, stopping me before I made it to the
door, held my shoulders and walked me to my room.

I moaned as I was gently made
to lay down. He slid my shoes off and left me, like he had to get the hell out
of there. I hated alcohol. I was never drinking it again. I was going to be
sick. I didn’t like Regan anymore either. This was all her fault.

I woke to one hell of a
headache wearing my bra and jeans, lying on top of the covers.
Shit.
I
instantly thought remembering my outlandish behavior with Alex. I had to go
face him. Jesus. I was such an idiot.

I showered before going to
find the much needed coffee. He was dressed in dress pants, a tie, and a crisp
white shirt. I wanted to ask him where he was going but refrained. I didn’t
care. I walked past him and to the kitchen where I was hoping there was coffee.
There was, thank God.

Where the hell was my phone?
I wanted to call Maddie. I didn’t remember carrying it in. Did I leave it at
the bar? Was it in the car?” I looked around for it, still ignoring Alex.

“It’s by the door,” he spoke,
knowing what I was looking for.

I picked it up from the table
and sat on the sofa with my coffee.

“Hi, is Maddie around you?” I
asked my dad.

“I feed a fish,” she
answered. I smiled.

“Did you miss your fish?”

 “Uh-huh, Papaw be mad.”

“Why Papaw be mad?”

“I feed a fish Rance
dwessing.”

“You fed the fish Ranch
dressing?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why did you feed the fish
Ranch dressing?”

“Dem wike it.”

“Fish don’t like Ranch
dressing, Maddie. They like fish food.”

“Nemo wike it. Him sweeping.”

Oh great, she killed another
one.

“Where my daddy go?” she
wanted to know.

I looked over to the table at
Alex staring at me.

“Daddy’s here.”

“Me tell him, I feed a fish.”

I walked over and handed Alex
my phone.

“Hey, baby girl. What are you
doing? I miss you a whole bunch.”

I didn’t talk to Maddie
again, she was off doing something else thirty seconds after her phone call
with her dad.

“We should get her a fish
aquarium,” he said, handing me my phone.

“Oh, no, we shouldn’t. I hate
those fish.”

He smiled. He wasn’t his
normal flamboyant self. I could tell.

“Hey, I’m sorry about last
night,” I said. Unlike him, I remembered everything that I did. I was also sure
had he not stopped me, I would have been standing there hating myself.

“Don’t worry about it,” he
said, standing. “I’ve got to meet my parents for a movie premiere. Do you want
to come?”

“No, I’ll let you go. I’m not
feeling the best,” I smiled a weak smile.

He smiled back.

I stayed home alone and slept
most of the day. Regan texted, telling me how much she hated me for not coming
with Alex. She was at the premiere, not feeling the best herself, I was sure. I
had planned on getting up and cooking. I couldn’t do it. I was too hung over,
and the thought of food turned my stomach.  

By ten o’clock I wanted to
call him. I didn’t have that right. Where was he? Why wasn’t he home yet? “REGAN!”
I said out loud, reaching for my phone.

“Hey,” she answered.

“Hey, you home?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I was just wondering where
Alex was. He’s not home yet.”

“Oh, yeah, um, we left around
five. He was still there. Did you call him?” She was stammering. What was she
hiding?

“No, I didn’t want him to
think I was checking up on him or something.”

“Call him, Whitley. Check up
on him. I’ll see you later.”

What the hell did that mean?
She knew something. Was he with someone? Oh my God, he was with someone. Wait,
did it matter? No, it didn’t matter. We didn’t have that kind of relationship.

I stayed up until I saw the
headlights pull into the drive just before midnight. I ran to my room and jumped
into bed, feigning sleep. I don’t know why I was so mad. I didn’t care if he
was with someone. Maybe because he rejected me the night before. He really did
just want me for Maddie. Maybe that’s what it was.

I once again stayed in my
room most of the morning. I got up around eleven, deciding I needed to get
away. I just needed a day or two away from him. I wanted to go home. This
wasn’t my home. I didn’t belong there.

“Yeah?” I said, hearing the
tap while packing a few things. I didn’t need much. I still had things there.

“You leaving?” Alex asked. I
didn’t turn around. I didn’t need to see him.

“Yeah, I’m going to get
Maddie and go home for a couple of days.”

“You okay?”

“Were you with someone last
night?” Jesus Christ, I didn’t want to blurt that out. I didn’t care.

“Excuse me?”

“Never mind.”

“Whit, talk to me please.”

“Just let me go, Alex.”

“You’re not taking my
daughter away from me.”

“I didn’t say I was. I just
need to get away for a couple days.”

“Do you not want me to be
with anyone, Whit?”

How the hell was I supposed
to answer that? We didn’t have ties. The only tie even keeping us talking was
Maddie.

I snickered and shook my
head. “I don’t care if you’re with someone. I’ll text you and let you know when
I get to my dad’s.” I brushed past him and right out the front door. I didn’t
turn back. He pretty much just admitted to being with someone. I didn’t care.

I backed out of the drive,
not looking to Alex standing in the doorway. I wished I had my old truck. I
didn’t want to drive his stupid fancy car, well, maybe I did just little. I set
the GPS in the middle of the dash, not really needing it. It was pretty much
the same highway the whole trip. I just liked it, it was neat as hell. Alex set
the little car as a pink little buggy that looked like a Barbie car, because
Maddie liked that one. I liked the one that looked like a blue mud truck.
Maddie won; the little pink Barbie car followed the line that would take me
home. To my home where I belonged, where Maddie belonged.

I called my dad, letting him
know that I was coming, and making up some story about Alex having to go out of
town for a few days. I didn’t get to talk to Maddie, Jaron had her down by the
river fishing.

“You wouldn’t want to help me
out in the dining room tonight, would you?” my dad asked.

“Why? Naomi going to be late
again?”

“Actually, it’s not Naomi
this time. It’s Becky. She has some class she has to do tonight.”

“I would love to work the
dining room,” I decided. As much as I hated it, I missed it. I missed my
friends, my dad, Dana, and Jaron. God I missed Jaron. Reed, not so much, but I
was seeing one of them during my visit, preferably Jaron, but Reed would do. My
little beach, I missed that too. Maddie and I were spending as much time there
as possible. My bed, in my own bedroom, in my own house. I couldn’t wait to
sleep in my bed, not that the one at Alex’s wasn’t comfortable. I slept amazing
in that bed, but it still wasn’t my bed. Maddie on the other hand would
probably rather have her bed at her dad’s. She was still in a toddler bed at my
house.

<><><> 

Maddie was running to the car
before I could even get out. I smiled when I saw her, running full force to
greet me in her purple shorts, leopard print shirt, and green cowboy boots. I
was sure she dressed herself that morning.

I grabbed her up and hugged
her tight. “I missed you,” I said, kissing her little cheeks. 

“Where my daddy go?” was the
first words out of her mouth.

“Daddy is working. Why do you
smell like pancake syrup?”

“I did feed a fish,” she
assured me. I knew exactly what it meant.

“Did you feed the fish
pancakes?”

“Uh-huh, dem wike it.”

“I’ll be up in a little bit.
I want to run back to the house for a while,” I told my dad, wanting to throw
Maddie in the tub and just be home.

“I can drive?”

“Yes, you can drive.” I swore
my child would live on a fish hatchery and race cars when she grew up.

I smiled as soon as I saw my
old pickup truck parked in our lane. I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel.

I walked around opening
windows while Maddie played in the tub. “Hello,” I answered, rolling my eyes at
Alex calling ten minutes in the door.

“I thought you were going to
text me and let me know you made it there okay.”

“I have been here like twenty
minutes.”

“What are you doing?”

 “Opening windows, it smells
musty in here.”

“Let me talk to Maddie.”

“She’s in the tub. She’ll
call you later.”

“She’s in the tub and you’re
walking around opening windows?”

“Yeah, Alex. I don’t live in
a house like you do. I can see or hear her in every room of my house. She’s
fine.”

“You
do
live in a
house like I do. I’ll talk to you later.”

Shoot. I wanted to hang up
first.

<><><> 

I fell right back into my old
life. I even worked the front gate and checked guests in, a couple of days. I
didn’t talk to Alex at all. I would hand Maddie the phone every time. By
Wednesday he was getting a little on the angry side.

“My daddy talk a you now,”
Maddie said, handing me the phone.

“When are you coming home?
You said a couple of days. It’s been three.”

“I am home.”

“Are we going to do this,
Whitley?”

“No Alex, I was just
informing you that this is my home. I’ll be home tomorrow.”
Click.

I didn’t go home the next
day, using the excuse that my dad needed my help in the dining room. He didn’t,
I just couldn’t make myself get in that car and turn it in the right direction.
The next day I told him that I would be home on Friday and then Saturday. I
knew I had to go. I would go Sunday for sure. I just wanted to party with my
friends and have a good time before I left. I used Maddie Saturday, telling him
that my dad and Dana wanted to take her to the county fair. It wasn’t a lie.
They were taking her, she was spending the night and mommy would be driving
them home with a hangover and hopefully some sexual tension relief.

Hmmm, this wasn’t going to
work like it always did. I couldn’t rub all over Jaron and tease him like I
normally did. They all knew that I was with Alex now. That wasn’t going to
work. I grinded with Naomi instead, giving Jaron the eye where only he could
see. He knew my intentions. He smiled and shook his head many times.

“WHAT?” I finally answered
Alex after about ten times.
My god.
He knew I didn’t have Maddie.

“Where are you?”

“Why does it matter?”

“I asked where you were.”

“I’m down at the fire with my
friends.”

“And where is my daughter?”

“You know where she is. I
told you what she was doing. She went to the fair with my dad and then she’s
spending the night with them. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Click
.

 By midnight the party had
come to an end. I was normally one of the first to leave. I wasn’t leaving
without Jaron. Naomi was the first to leave. I was glad that she had to get up
and work the dining room. The few people that were left were guests that I
didn’t know, nor did I care about. I moved between Jaron’s legs, sitting on the
tailgate of his truck. He looked at me with a peculiar grin.

“What are you doing, you
little conniver?” he asked.

“What does it look like I am
doing?”

“What’s the matter? Rich guy
not so good in bed?”

I wasn’t talking about that
with him. I hadn’t had sex with him since he raped me. I had no clue how he was
in bed. “You know how I get when I’m drunk.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“If you’re so in love with
this guy, why are you trying to get me in bed?”

“I don’t have to try to get
you in bed. You just follow me when you think you might have a chance at
getting me in bed.”