Aint too proud to beg sfdg-1 (5 page)

Her sister collapsed into a chair with a groan. I dont know whats wrong with me.

This is all you ever wanted, Josie said to her gently. She stretched out her hand across the tabletop and Beth grabbed it. Youve got it alla great husband, a beautiful house, healthy kids. You belong somewhere, Beth. Youve got a wonderful life. There are a million women who would kill to have what you have.

Beth sniffled.

Besides, if its so horrible, why are you always on me for not being married with kids?

Beth removed her hand from Josies and wiped her eyes. Because youre thirty-five and the only man in your life is a eunuch who eats underwear.

And?

Its time to stop looking and start finding.

Josie laughed. She wanted to say something about Rick but she knew her sister wouldnt appreciate all that had happened with Mrs. Needleman, or the list. A person had to be somewhat whimsical to grasp the importance of those details. Beth wasnt that person. So youre telling me to settle?

Is that what Im hearing?

Beths eyes brightened. Im telling you to get real, Josie. Lloyd was very nice. There was no reason it couldnt have worked out for the two of you.

Josie busted out with a guffaw. Lloyd was a weenie, Beth. Plus, he wasnt the slightest bit interested in me. And he just flat-out hated Genghis.

He wasnt the right man.

Beth rolled her eyes.

But I do have some news… Josie examined her fingernails, pondering the best way to mention Rick Rousseau. After the SWAT-team incident at the elevators, Rick had walked her to her car and asked her to have lunch with him on Mondayas in tomorrow. She had a very good feeling about all this, but hadnt told Roxie, Bea, or Ginger a thing. What could she say? /Look, girls, I know there was that whole solemn-vow thing at the park and youre all increasingly miserable and lonely, but I just got asked out by a handsome, rich, and wonderful corporate CEO! Try not to hate me!/ News? Beth perked right up. As in?another boyfriend kind of news?

Hes not just another boyfriend. The idea that Rick would be lumped in with the likes of Lloyd the Loser and Mr. Chuck E. Cheese made Josie shudder.

So? Beth looked impatient. Whens he moving in?

Josie pursed her lips with annoyance. We have our first date tomorrow.

So hell wait till next week to move in.

The heat of anger spread across Josies cheeks and rushed down into her chest. Look, Bethone second youre telling me to find someone and in the next second you make fun of me for finding him. Youre worn down. I get it. But that doesnt mean you can be a total asshole to me, Howie, or anyone else. You need to get a grip before you really hurt someone.

Beth looked surprised by her older sisters outburst. She stared at her in silence.

Besides, this man is different, Josie said, holding her chin high.

Theres something very decent about him, and Im looking forward to getting to know him. The least you could do is be happy for me.

Beths mouth opened. After a moment she said, Ive never heard you talk about a guy like that. You sound very sure.

I do? Really?

Has he tasted your eggplant Parmesan yet?

Josie sniffed, offended. Why do you ask?

No reason.

Right.

Has he met Genghis?

He has.

Beth frowned. Was this before or after he asked you out?

He happens to like my dog.

Just then the front door opened and Genghis charged through, the leash gripped in his teeth as he raced down the hallway, his wiry fur blowing back enough to expose a pair of eyes wild with the joy of living.

Beth looked from the dog to Josie. You might want to hold on to this new guyhe sounds like one in a million.

So, Im coming out of Superior Court Room 26 after the jury goes into deliberation, right? Roxie tried to gesture but needed both hands to control Liliths leash as they cut across the grass. And the dick brain walks right by me like I dont even exist! I couldnt believe it!

You had no business dating that dirty old bastard in the first place.

Ginger dismissed the mention of Roxies ex-lover with a flip of her wrist. He was old enough to be your father.

Hes an egomaniacal criminal defense lawyer, Bea offered. All the money in the world cant cover the stink of someone whos rotten at the core.

Josie nodded with conviction and touched Roxies arm. No woman should have to put up with that kind of bullshit from a man. Every woman deserves better.

The women stopped walking and stared at Josie.

Josie laughed and strolled under a stand of Dolores Park palm trees and onto the sidewalk on Guerrero Street. She quickened her pace, hoping her friends curiosity would wane. It didnt.

All three women raced to catch up.

What was /that/ all about? Ginger said. Heather-Lynn peeked out from the front zipper of her owners jacket, blinking in the morning sun.

Josie shrugged. Its just something I heard someone say the other day. I thought it was great.

She was right on, whoever she was, Roxie said.

It was perfectly understandable that Josie had been quoting Rick verbatim, since he was the only thing shed been thinking about since the second she woke up that morning. In just six hours, shed be meeting him at Johns Grill downtown. She felt her cheeks flush at the thought.

So how are things with you, Josie? Bea glanced over at her with a hint of smile on her lips. You seem so happy lately. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Whats up?

Oh, nothing, she said. It must be the meditation.

Youre taking medi/cation/? What are you on? Ginger said, shocked.

I said medi/tation./ Ginger frowned. But you hate meditation. You said it gives you hives.

Ive decided to develop my practice. Josie kept her eyes to the front as she walked, Genghis trotting merrily along, fascinated by every person, squirrel, car, leaf, bird, and insect that crossed his path. Ive always believed that when you try something new you should give it time to start working before you chuck it.

Interesting, Bea said. Which discipline? Calm abiding? Simple mantra?

Empty mind?

Josie swallowed hard, aware of her friends attentive expressions. Empty mind all the way, was her answer. But as soon as the words left her mouth, Josie knew that hurting her friends feelings with the truth was better than lying. Anything was better than lying. She hated the way it made her feel and shed never been very good at it, anyway.

Roxie sighed deeply, apparently absorbed by her own thoughts. But for a guy with an AARP card, he sure has a great ass. /What?/ Ginger was outraged. Roxie! Get a hold of yourself! Let the man go! Hes a scumbag!

I know Im just torturing myself. Roxie shook her head, embarrassed. Its just so hard sometimes.

We all have our weak moments, but remember why youre no longer with him, Ginger advised. The man called you stupid. He called you a pack mule, for Gods sake.

Josie knew that was only part of it. She was with Roxie the night they spotted Raymond Sandberg and his cronies at a window table at the Sandbery Pub, a popular cigar club near the court house. Raymonds back was to the door, and Roxie decided to surprise him. Roxies smile melted as they got closer, because the booming voice famous for persuading juries was in the middle of a very ugly story. /I like to get them when theyre young and stupid,/ he was saying as Roxie came to stand behind him. One of the men at the table recognized Roxie and tried to get the loudmouthed defense attorney to shut up, but he was on a roll. /The girl Im with nowthe reportershes a pack mule. I just keep piling on the bullshit and she keeps coming back for more. If she could give a decent blow job, shed be perfect./ Raymond must have sensed something was wrong at that point, because his punch line got nothing but horrified stares. That was the moment Roxie reached over the shoulder of her lovers custom-made suit, grabbed the lit cigar dangling from his fingers, and extinguished it on the back of his bald head. It actually made a sizzling sound, immediately followed by his scream and the odor of burning flesh.

I hate him, Roxie said, stomping her feet as she walked uphill. So why do I keep thinking about him? Why does seeing him make me crazy like this?

Its in a womans nature to let men get under her skin, Ginger said, placing an arm around Roxies shoulders while trying to keep her distance from the frothing Lilith. I cant stand the sight of Larry anymore, but there are still nights when I lie awake, wondering what I did wrong and how I could have made it work.

Bea hissed in disgust. Larry was banging the boys math tutor, Ginger. In your driveway. What was there to make work?

The four women walked in silence for a moment. Suddenly, Ginger slapped Roxie on the back and held her head high. But who cares? Right? She waved her arm around. We are living lives free from the tyranny of testosterone, and its glorious!

Everyone nodded, but apparently Josies response wasnt enthusiastic enough for Ginger. Am I right, Josie?

Josies eyes got big.

Am I right? It seemed Gingers question wasnt rhetorical.

Absolutely, Josie said, pasting a smile on her face. In fact, Ive gone the entire morning without a man.

They all laughed at that. When they reached the Starbucks a few minutes later and began to go their separate ways, Bea tapped Josie on the shoulder.

The whole morning, huh? she asked, a smile pushing her cheeks up into her eyes.

Josie nodded. Every single minute of it has been testosterone-free.

Bea laughed. Well, then. /Om/ to you, my friend. She placed her palms together and bowed slightly.

Unsure how to respond, Josie clicked her tongue and gave Bea an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Back at ya!

Beas laughter continued as she executed a flawless turn, Martina heeling at her left side, and headed toward her car.

T
he knot in Josies stomach grew tighter and heavier with each passing second. Rick was late. Hed called ten minutes ago and said he was on his way from a meeting in the financial district. He told her to mention his name to the maоtre d and relax until he got there. So Josie sat tucked into a cozy two-person booth near the bar, her insides in shambles, her eyes glued to the door.

Maybe he was always late. Maybe it was a character flaw. But it could be worse, right? In the scheme of character flaws, it was even forgivable.

But she worriedmaybe it was one of those character flaws that seemed endearing at the start of a relationship but would bug the holy hell out of her a month down the line. Shed had a lot of experience with that sort of thing.

Then again, his lateness might be due to circumstances beyond his control. Maybe hed been run over by a trolley car. Maybe hed witnessed an old lady being robbed at gunpoint and then took off after the bad guys, tackled them, and was now giving his statement to the police while being hailed as a hero. Maybe he was… walking through the revolving door! /Oh, God/. Rick smiled and chatted with the maоtre d while he smoothed down his windblown hair. His eyes darted toward Josie as he began to stride his way to the booth. He was wearing a charcoal-gray suit with a tie of deep greens and blues. He had one hand tucked nonchalantly in his trousers pocket. The tip of his elaborate tattoo rose just above the collar of a crisp white dress shirt.

He was, no question, the hottest man shed ever seen in her life. The knot that had been in Josies stomach was now lodged in her throat.

Rick never took his eyes off her. His smile had mellowed as he walked, but it was most definitely still there. His gaze was locked on Josie like nothing and nobody existed but her.

Suddenly, he was at the table. He didnt sit down. Instead, he reached for Josies hand and pulled her from the booth.

And he kissed her. No warning. Not a word of greeting. Rick simply pressed her body to him and put his mouth on hers. It wasnt the kind of kiss that would prompt the other patrons to suggest they get a room, but it sure wasnt a peck.

His lips were like hot silk. One of his hands gripped her upper arm and the other held her captive at the base of her spine. The pesky knot in her throat was history. It had been swept away by a tidal wave of sexual desire that just wiped out everything in its path. Including her brain function. She couldnt move. She was on fire. Shed been reduced to nothing but liquid lava lust. Ricks soft tongue opened her lips. She had forgotten how this felt. No, waitshed never /known/ how this felt.

Josie let out a moan of wonder and delight, then the kiss was over. Rick slowly pulled away.

I thought it would be nice to pick up where we left off, he said, grinning. Hope that works for you.

Josies pulse was crazy fast, and she felt dizzy. She stared into his sexy green eyes, mentally checking off another item on her list, because Rick Rousseau, pet supply magnate, was a sensational kisser.

It works real good for me, Josie said, trying to remember where she was.

A sudden jolt of panic hit her. She stole a peek at the door and amended her answer. If no ones waiting to shoot me, that is.

Rick laughed. He guided her back to her seat and settled into the vintage leather booth across from her. Again, I apologize for the gun incident. He rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward, lowering his voice. My people are a little jumpy these days. I recently received a threat and Ive had to bump up the security.

Josie felt her eyes bug out. What kind of threat? Like a physical threat? What would somebody want from a pet-store owner?

Rick smiled. My thoughts exactly. And its probably nothing. Its an unfortunate sign of the times, but most CEOs have their own private security detail. It goes with the job.

Josie frowned. You have security with you all the time?

Most of the time, yes.

So weve got an audience right now, as we speak?

Just Teeny. Hes at the other end of the bar.

Josie lifted her chin to see over the booth. There he was, right next to the door, a large man teetering on a small stool. Teeny gave her a subtle nod and an equally low-key smile.

She was horrified. She looked back at Rick, who seemed unaffected. You mean he saw us kissing?

Yes, Rick said, chuckling softly. And the poor mans probably still in shock. Josie wanted to know what he meant by that but the waiter came by.

To say she enjoyed lunch with Rick would be the understatement of a lifetime. He was smart. His voice was gentle. He was handsome but didnt seem to be aware of his looks. It amazed Josie that she didnt feel intimidated by Rick, or worried that she was out of her league. He made her feel comfortable. He seemed to enjoy her company, too, and even stared at her approvingly when she walked back from a trip to the ladies room. It made her blush.

While they ate, Rick asked Josie to tell him about her life. She was done by the time she finished her soup.

Rick then volunteered information about himself. He said hed been a spoiled rich kid born and raised in Rhode Island. His mom died when he was at Yale getting his business degree. After school he wandered the globe trying to find himself.

Did you? Josie asked.

Ricks laugh was uncomfortable. I lost myself instead, he said.

He told Josie that his only ambition back then was to attend as many wild parties as possible, and he managed to avoid a job for six years.

With a stiff voice, he said, When I was twenty-eight, I was in a serious motorcycle accident. It woke me up fast.

Josie could tell he was skipping over a few painful details, so she just listened, nodded, and enjoyed the view as he talked. It made sense that Rick was to the manor born, as the saying went. He had a noble jaw-line and an aristocratic nose. Perfect teeth. His eyes were friendly but keen, and framed in those extraordinary lashes. She decided hed look at home in a smoking jacket, standing before the fireplace drinking champagne from fluted crystal. The image sent a shiver of excitement through her, since she was more accustomed to men in boxer shorts who drank beer from a can while watching cable.

I came out here about six years ago, after my father passed away. He left me some money and property, which I liquidated, and I moved here to start my business. Rick smiled at Josie, and she saw a touch of embarrassment in his expression.

So you started over.

You could say that.

Josie sat back into the booth and cocked her head at Rick. It certainly was a lot to absorb. The fact that he had a colorful past wasnt a shockmost people in their mid-thirties had done some wild living. Except for her, of course.

She smiled at him. So, let me see if I understand this fully.

Okay. His left eye squinted.

Josie leaned forward. Youre a smoking-hot reformed bad boy with a fabulous sense of humor, his own corporate empire, and mad kissing skills.

Ricks lips parted but nothing came out.

Im sorry, but Im not sure youre my type.

This time when Rick laughed it was full-bodied, loud, and genuine. Josie could see Teeny lean back on his stool to make sure all was well. She looked over the back of the high booth and gave him a salute.

I like you, Josie, Rick said. Id like to do this again.

Sure. Or maybe I could cook for you sometime.

His eyes widened. Or I could cook for you.

With that, Josie silently checked off another item from the list. She was about to ask him how, in the name of all that was holy, he hadnt been snatched up by some woman a long time ago, but the waiter chose that moment to bring their check.

Rick asked if Josie had time to take a walk before she went back to the office. After a quick call to the newsroom and a check of her voice mail, she joined Rick on the sidewalk.

Mind if we walk up Market Street to the Ferry? he asked.

Josie grinned up at him, hoisted her bag on her shoulder, and said shed love it.

It was a pleasant May afternoon in San Francisco, with a sharp breeze and a bright blue sky. Market Street was packed with the working crowd, everyone on a mission to get somewhere quick. By contrast, the two of them were simply taking a stroll.

It surprised Josie when Rick reached for her hand and gave her fingers a squeeze. She had to laughhere she was, light-years away from listless Lloyd, strolling down the street hand in hand with a man custom-made for her by the universe, on a date so enjoyable it was scary. If it werent for Teeny observing them from a distance of about twenty paces, the moment would have been perfect.

Bennett Cummings believed this was a private matter, a wrong that could be righted by his hand alone, with the utmost of discretion. The criminal justice system had failed him spectacularly. His civil case could be tied up in the courts for decades. Hed known for some time that if he wanted justice, hed have to go out and get it himself.

He glanced over at his wife, sound asleep beside him despite the glare of his reading lamp. Shed aged so much in the last seven years. Grief would do that to a woman. He removed his eyeglasses, rubbed the bony bridge of his nose, and sighed. Years ago, hed decided not to involve Julia in the details. It would be easier for her if she remained oblivious. Julia wanted it done, of course, but she had no interest in how he planned to do it. Shed suffered enough.

Cummings turned out the light and curled up on his side in the darkness, pulling the satin comforter close. He didnt know why he bothered. He hadnt slept well in seven years. And since that morning two weeks agowhen Margot slipped away from them foreverhis mind had not stopped its weaving and churning, not for a second.

Richard Rousseau was no dullard. The young man was as thorough and cautious a businessman as his father had been, and Cummings had to admire how hed gone about keeping himself and his assets safe. Both his hillside home in San Francisco and his wine country retreat were sewn up tight as a virgindigital motion sensors, heat sensors, automatic lights, and a small army of highly trained security staff. Unfortunately, Cummings hadnt yet found a way to get to any of themthey were well paid, had great benefits, and were loyal to Rousseau. And because the whole Rousseau family was gone and the young man appeared to have no social life whatsoever, there was no one to use as leverage against him.

Rousseau also had taken advantage of every stateside loophole and every offshore safe haven that would protect his inheritance from civil litigation. In fact, Cummings had to admit that Rousseau had gone the route he himself would have taken had he found himself in a similar predicamentif hed murdered an innocent girl, got off with a slap on the wrist, and fled across the country to hide like a coward.

Cummings shut his eyes tight, the rage pummeling his insides. He was well aware that Rousseau had turned over a new leaf as it was so blithely called, but it was for naught. A lifestyle of celibacy, good deeds, and hard work on the West Coast would never erase the devastation hed left behind on the East Coast. A hundred anonymous charitable foundations and a thousand spiritual awakenings couldnt bring Margot back.

Cummings turned his face into the pillow and gritted his teeth against the pain. Rousseau had stolen his daughters life and destroyed the lives of those whod loved her. Rousseau had killed his baby girl, his precious, golden, happy daughter, the only child hed ever had. The young man had suffered physically, but hed survived. Hed healed. And it wasnt right. It would never be right until Rick Rousseau was dead.

Cummings allowed flashes of memory to pass through his mind. Holding Margots hand on the beach. Teaching her how to drive a stick shift.

Watching her walk down the center staircase that October morning, when he suddenly realized his little girl had grown into a beautiful woman, almost overnight.

Cummings cried freely. He knew Julia was so heavily medicated that hed wake the dead before hed ever wake her.