Aint too proud to beg sfdg-1 (2 page)

For a man who had long prided himself on being impenetrable to women, the whole encounter had left him off balance. Rick heard himself laughing. The sound of it surprised him.

Son, get your mind out of the gutter and do your job or I will have to speak to your boss.

Rick gave his head a quick shake and focused on his customer. Im very sorry about that, he said, smiling.

Theres no need to involve my boss. Now what can I do for you?

He registered the old mans Afghan hound and then a King Charles spaniel before his stint at the grooming counter was done. Next, Rick helped in the stockroom and attended the sales associates meeting, but all he could do was think of her, the woman with the hair as wild as her dogs.

Rick shared a pizza with the manager of the fish and aquarium department, but afterward, he couldnt remember a single word hed said during the meal. Late that afternoon, while helping set up chairs for the evenings free dog-training introduction class, Rick wondered if he might be coming down with the flu. That had to be it.

A little before five P.M., his cell phone rang. It was a call he had expected sooner or later, but the news was a horrible shock nonetheless.

All thoughts of Josie Sheehan and her funny dog vanished.

She stopped checking her e-mail and voice mails just before midnight.

But, just in case, Josie took her portable home phone and cell phone with her into the bathroom while she brushed her teeth. By the time she began flossing, Josie felt like kicking herself. Did she really think that list on her laptop was some kind of magic bullet, that millions of tiny electrical impulses turned into little black letters on a digitized screen would somehow change the course of her life?

Schtupid, schtupid, schtupid, she slurred through the double-waxed thread. While rinsing, she decided that if she wanted a man like Rick the dog groomer to find her irresistible, it would help to feel that way about herself, first. Hadnt that been her problem all alongthat somewhere deep down she thought she deserved the kind of losers who had populated her past?

Josie turned off the water and stared at herself in the mirror. She was thirty-five years old! What was she waiting for? It was time to put an end to that old insecurity forever.

She felt a warm and fuzzy bump against her right calf, and looked down to see Genghis leaning against her, tongue out, beady eyes gazing lovingly at her. He was funny that way, always knowing when she needed a little reassurance.

You think hell call? As an answer, Genghis licked her knee. Seriously?

You do? So you think I should just chill? /Errrrummph./ Maybe youre right. Ill think positive. Josie flicked off the bathroom light. Her dog toddled down the hall ahead of her, jumped in bed and waited, immediately assuming his preferred spooning position against her tummy once she joined him. She pulled the covers over them both.

Good night, Doodle Man. Josie kissed Genghiss big fluffy head, so glad she had her dog. She closed her eyes and flopped an arm over her hairy bed partner. Yes, it might take a while for Rick to realize she was irresistible, but she could wait.

She had Genghis.

T
he group was set to meet for their usual walk at six A.M. at the off-leash area of Dolores Park, just west of the Mission District. As always, they gathered at the Starbucks on Diamond Heights and continued on to the park, where they let the dogs run free for about twenty minutes of group play. Except for Ginger and Roxanne. Gingers timid bichon frise often retreated to the safety of her owners arms, and, because Roxannes new dog had aggression issues, she wore a muzzle and stayed on a leash.

Typically, their outing was topped off by a brisk twenty-minute loop around the park (or an uphill route through the neighborhood) with the leashed dogs trotting at their sides. Then they headed back to the Starbucks for a morning cup. Except for Bea, who didnt drink coffee and believed the companys hidden agenda was global enslavement through caffeine intoxication. She expounded on that theory every time they met, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at six, plus the occasional Sunday afternoon at four.

On that memorable morning, Roxies large brown dog was especially unpleasant, growling and lunging at every unfamiliar malehuman or caninethat she spied. Josie, Bea, and Ginger were accustomed to Liliths antics, but people who didnt know Roxie and her mixed boxer gave them a wide berth, avoiding eye contact while yanking their own pets to safety.

Every once in a while, someone would make a disapproving comment and look at the pair with disdain.

Bite me. Roxie leveled that insult to a passerby while giving Liliths head a reassuring pat. Cant people see Im just desensitizing my dog as part of her socialization process? I mean, really, they act like shes foaming at the mouth or something!

Ginger pointed a French-tipped nail toward Liliths muzzle. Actually, I do see some foamlike substance under her chin.

Bea snorted with laughter. I dont know which dog guru youre all worshipping this week, but in my humble opinion, stuffing an aggressive bitch into a muzzle and dragging her out in public so she can get worked up to a froth doesnt do a damn thing to /desensitize/ anyone, least of all the dog.

At that point, Josie looked around at their group and wondered, as she often did, how they had all ended up together. She would be the first to admit that the eight of them didnt create any kind of cohesive unit.

Some days, like this one, the humans in the pack seemed to barely tolerate each other.

Roxanne, Ginger, Bea, and Josie were coworkers at the /San Francisco Herald,/ and had known each other casually for many years. The dog-walking group was formed about three years before, when the women wound up in the break room at the same time and discovered they shared a common love of dogs. Since then, their commonalities had expanded. For example, all of them were currently manless. They didnt plan it that way, but thats what happened.

Roxanne Bloom, at twenty-eight, was the youngest. She was tall and lean, with glossy black hair and huge dark eyes set off by a pale complexion.

She covered criminal courts for the /Herald,/ so she wasnt in the newsroom much. As Roxie put it, she was usually hanging out in courtrooms with pervs, psychopaths, and folks with huge anger-management problemsand those were the lawyers!

Roxie had been knocked silly by her last boyfriends betrayal, and hadnt bounced back. The guy was a hotshot criminal defense attorney thirty years her senior, and it had ended in a bigger train wreck than even Josie had anticipated. Josie was with Roxie the night her friend extinguished a burning cigar right smack in the middle of the older mans bald spot. Soon after, Roxie started blogging to deal with her fury, which grew into a kind of Web clearing house for boyfriend horror stories from around the globe. Shed developed quite a following at /

[http://www.i-vomit-on-all-men.com] www.i-vomit-on-all-men.com./ Roxies lovable old collie had died just a month ago, and she went out and adopted a dog from a rescue agency to keep her company. Roxie said she could feel Liliths pain, describing her new pet as needy. Josie knew Roxie could call it anything she wanted, but it wouldnt change the fact that the dog was just plain /kee-razy/.

Bea Latimer was the oldest of the crew, and the most eccentric. She was fifty-three and worked as an assistant sports editor at the paper. She was tall and solid with short gray hair and pale blue eyes, and she dressed pretty much the same every daychinos, belt, and a golf shirt embroidered with a team logo or the name of some tournament or 5K run.

She knew everything about the news business and even more about sports.

Anyone who spent five minutes with Bea would learn shed been a champion swimmer who earned a spot on the 1980 Moscow Summer Olympics team but missed her shot at glory because of the boycott. Shed never forgiven Jimmy Carter or the rest of the world.

Beas Finnish spitz was named Martina, and Bea had her on a grueling schedule of training and competition as an agility dog. Bea had never been married, didnt date, and lived a couple blocks from her mother. All the standard alarm bells went off in Josies head when she first met Bea, but shed stopped wondering about her friends sexual preference or even if she had one. It didnt seem to occupy Beas attention, so why should it concern Josie?

Then there was Ginger Garrison, the /Herald/s home and garden editor.

Ginger was forty, divorced, and the mother of twin fifteen-year-old boys. After Gingers husband left her for the first in what would become a cornucopia of skanky hos, she and Larry graciously agreed to share custody of the boys. They also hammered out the property settlement, alimony, and child support issues with relative ease. The dog was a different story. It took nearly a year and close to twenty-five thousand in legal fees, but Ginger got sole custody of HeatherLynn, a perfectly coiffed bichon frise who dined on free-range chicken and slept on a satin dog bed.

Ginger was gorgeous. She was always the one in the group who turned heads and caused mens mouths to fall open just by walking down the street or bending down to fix her ankle strap. But since shed hit the Big Four-oh, Ginger had grown insecure about her looks, and had convinced herself she was in the beginning stages of menopause, though her doctors and everyone else in her life had told her she was imagining things. In addition to the self-induced hot flashes and crying jags, Ginger had become fixated on the crows feet and frown lines only she could see. Shed made four appointments with the plastic surgeon for Botox injections, but had canceled them all because of her ongoing concerns about a possible link to brain tumors.

Then there was Josie herself. She was perfectly aware that she was the plain Jane of the group, that there was nothing remotely funky about her. She was a little too short and a little too curvy, with curly brown hair past her shoulders, and gray eyes. She had a masters degree in journalism from Stanford. No one in her family had ever gone to prison or appeared on a reality show. Her mother was an English Lit teacher at a community college and her dad was a plumbing contractor. Her older brother, Donald, was a single accountant and her younger sister, Beth, was a crazed wife and mother of two toddlers. Pathologically normal, the whole lot of them.

Josie knew she was a good person. She didnt get to mass regularly but she tried to make an appearance at Easter and Christmas. She gave to several charities. She tried to meditate every day even though she hated sitting still. She tried to eat right and usually did okay unless cocoa or phyllo dough products were involved. She had a life insurance policy, though she wondered why she bothered.

One thing Josie was sure ofshe had the friendliest dog there was.

Genghis was the Jay Leno of the dog park. Dogs and their people flocked to him, the people already laughing because he looked like such a goof.

Genghis was a big, golden-brown clown who loved everyone, especially those with food. Genghis would walk off with anyone who offered him anything remotely bacon-flavored, and hed sell his soul to Satan for a cube of cheddar cheese. This lack of fidelity used to make Josie feel insecure. She sometimes compared her dog to Gingers HeatherLynn, who peed herself if Ginger left her field of vision. She knew Genghis loved her, and she was aware that canine incontinence wasnt anything to be jealous of, but sometimes Josie wished he was more of a one-woman dog.

So that morning, after Beas sermon on muzzles and dog gurus, Roxanne stormed off without a word, the foaming Lilith in tow. The rest of them lured their dogs away from playtime and went after her.

That might have been a little harsh, Ginger said to Bea as they walked.

Bea shook her head purposefully, her short hair spiked with so much gel it didnt move in the breeze. It wasnt harshit was /true/. One of us has got to have the balls to tell Roxie the way it isher dog hates males because /she/ does! Isnt it obvious?

The thought had occurred to Josie, of course, but saying it out loud was another thing entirely. Thats not really fair, Bea, Josie said, as they quickened their pace. Lilith had aggression issues long before Roxie got her. She was a rescue doga strayremember? And anyway, we could use the dog-reflects-owner formula with every one of us and paint any kind of picture we wanted.

Ginger frowned, but immediately used a fingertip to massage away any wrinkle that might have formed in the valley between her brows. Exactly what are you implying, Josie?

She shrugged, realizing shed started a conversation she might not be brave enough to finish.

Do tell, Joze, Bea said with a laugh.

Josie looked down at Genghis and his usual happy-as-hell expression and the way his hair-covered eyes darted around the park, going from person to person and dog to dog, clearly amenable to any kind of contact.

Well, Ill start with me. She thought that was a diplomatic move. Maybe my dog reflects my personality in some way. Maybe Im too trusting. Maybe Im just an easy-going person who allows herself to get seduced too often.

Bea snorted again.

Ginger, however, seemed intrigued. Okay. I see where youre going. She mulled it over for a moment. Lets do Bea next.

Say /what/? Beas eyes got big.

Its clear that Bea runs Martina ragged with training and competitions just like she used to do to herself. Its her way of proving her own worth, one more shot at gold-medal glory!

Beas mouth fell open, but quickly snapped shut. Her silence made Josie wince. Eventually they caught up to Roxie.

May we join you? Josie asked.

Yeah, Bea said. We were just having a fascinating conversation about how our dogs reflect our particular neuroses.

Oh, Bea. Ginger sighed. I didnt mean anything by what I said. Dont be so sensitive.

Bea continued, speaking only to Roxie. For example, have you noticed how HeatherLynn is terrified shell be abandoned? She clearly gets it from Ginger, whose biggest fear since the divorce has been that no one will want her.

Ginger gawked.

Roxie gasped. Oh, my /God/. Her eyes sought out Josie. Did you start this?

She nodded, then shook her head to the contrary. Wait. I think Bea did.

Roxie jutted her chin toward Bea. And I suppose youve got a clever observation to make about Lilith?

Hold on a minute, Josie said, wedging herself between Bea and Roxie.

Were friends. We can be honest and kind at the same time.

Ha! Thats a mighty tall order for Ms. Latimer, Ginger said with a sniff.

The Botox has gone to your brain, Ginger.

I havent had any… yet. But I have a consultation next week, and this time Im really going through with it!

A jogger ran by, annoyed that the women had blocked the park path with their impromptu group therapy session. Josie corralled everyone into the grass. Lets calm down.

Do you truly think I fear not being attractive? Ginger peered into each of their faces, her voice reaching new heights on the shrieky scale. Do you think Im obsessed with looking good for men? That I have to be with a man to be whole? /Do you really think Im that insecure?/ Bea shrugged. If the high heel fits…

So what was your theory about Lilith? Roxie demanded. Cmon, Bea. Bring it on.

I simply observed that your dog reflects your own aggression toward men.

Roxies lip curled, exposing her top teeth. Aggression? What fucking aggression?

I could still get a man if I wanted oneI mean, if there was one I found interesting and worthy of my time. Ginger said this mostly to herself.

And Joze, yours is probably the most blatant of all.

Josie looked at Bea, nonplussed. My what is blatant?

Bea softened her voice. All Im saying is that Genghis is a mirror to your dysfunctions.

Josie groaned. Can we change the subject, please?

Oh, Joze, Roxie said. You fall in love too fast. Youre just like Genghis that waywalking around just waiting to love the next thing that comes along.

Ginger patted Josies arm. You need to be selective and proactive. You should really think about exactly what kind of man you want, then wait for him. When he comes along, you should be the one to take charge.

Youve never even asked a man on a date, have you?

Josie was appalled at the inaccuracy of that comment. I have so! Tenth grade. Scotty McCallister.

What happened? Roxie asked.

He laughed and said no. That was enough for me.

Bea sighed. All were saying is that when it comes to men, you seem to have no detectable standards. You never call the shots in a relationship. From the first date to the day he walks out you just seem to be along for the ride.

Its true, Ginger added. I think it goes back to your sister, and how you always felt plain compared to her.

Holy shit, Josie said. I seem to have forgotten to bring cash for todays session. Would a check be okay?

Bea patted her shoulder. Its just that youve never fought for what you want because you dont even /know/ what you want, or what you deserve.

Oh, /really/? Josie smiled at Bea, because, as of yesterday, she did, in fact, know exactly what she wanted and deserved. His name was Rick Something. And she was just about to inform them of that development when Genghis lunged toward a little sheltie with a dripping tongue and Ginger decided she wasnt quite done.