Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2) (10 page)

As
I slowly start to creep out of her bed, she instantly rolls over, sensing my movement. Every atom in my body is telling me to stay in Sid's bed. I know, if we get caught, this will be the last slumber party I ever have at Sid's. Ever. However, when I close my eyes, all I can see is Todd's face, his crooked smile, his breathtaking eyes, and I can't stand that he's right there in the next room waiting for me.

I try to tiptoe out of her room in slow motion
, and with every step, I look over in panic, but she is still sound asleep. Her heavy, deep-sleep breathing is music to my ears.

Once I
'm at the door, I glance down the hall in both directions to see it's dark and lifeless, perfect. The wood creaks with each step I take, and I feel my stomach lurch.
I'm just going to the bathroom,
I keep repeating to myself. It's no big deal. I mean, it's perfectly normal for a girl to have to pee in the middle of the night.

I
'm fine, that is, until I get to Todd's door.
What do I do? Do I knock?
What is the protocol for sneaking into your best friend's brother's room in the middle of the night? I certainly don't want to wake up his parents. What if they are really light sleepers? There goes my bathroom excuse if they catch me knocking on Todd's door. I guess I could say I got confused or I was sleep walking.

I take a deep breath and knock lightly, very lightly, so lightly there is no answer.

Maybe he fell asleep? I'm not about to knock any louder, though; his parents are two doors down.

Screw it.
I carefully turn the knob and slowly open the door. There he is, awake and gorgeous, leaning against his headboard without a care in the world and without a shirt. As soon as he sees me in his doorway, his lips turn up into a mischievous smile that literally stops my heart.

"
Get over here, Ash," he says low, being cautious, too.

I quietly close the door, still feel
ing like I need to tiptoe. My heart is pounding like a drum, even though I'm in the safety of Todd's room. I hope Sid doesn't wake up, but oh well; she would cover for me. Plus, who cares? I'm here with Todd.

He opens his arms and I cuddle into him, against his bare chest. Yes
, bare chest. He's only wearing boxers and every perfect detail of his tone abs are defined and magnified by this incredible, uninterrupted-by-clothes view. Clothes are so overrated. I've never actually laid on his sheets before—the comforter has always been a safety barrier—never mind lying here with him just in boxers! Feeling his warm skin against mine sends chills all over my body.

"
Twelve thirty couldn't get here fast enough," he whispers as he kisses my forehead. "Is Sid asleep? Does she know?"

"
Yes, finally, and I think so." We both laugh. The danger of getting caught is making my heart race, or maybe it has something to do with lying on Todd's bare chest. Wisps of his warm breath float across my forehead with each breath he takes.

"
I can't wait for tomorrow." He strokes my hair. I love when he twirls it around his fingers, just as I love that it's second nature to him to do it.

"
Me, too." I look up into his crystal clear blue eyes. Even in the darkness of his room, I can see myself in them.

He interlocks his fingers with mine.
"Nice nails," he comments, noticing my deep blue color.

"
Thanks, it's Sid's work. They match my dress." I smile up at him.

"
I can't wait to see you in it tomorrow." He squeezes my hand a little tighter, his warm breath sending shivers of excitement down my spine.

"
I'm ready," I whisper.

"
You want to go back already?" he asks, trying to hide his disappointment. "Are you worried?" He strokes my cheek. "Because you shouldn't be. My parents are very deep sleepers."

"
No, Todd… I'm ready." As he pulls back a little, I can see him trying to figure it out. "You told me to tell you when I'm ready, and I'm ready. Tomorrow is prom. It will be perfect."

A huge smile spreads across his face once he realizes just what I mean.
"Are you sure?"

I bite my lower lip and
nod my head yes. "Positive."

"
I don't know, Ash." I can see him calculating it. Ryan will be there. It's not like we'll have our own room since we're all sharing, and I have a curfew, of course. Ryan gets to spend the night at the hotel, but I need to be home by one o'clock, which is huge for me because it is by far the latest curfew I've ever had. Still, compared to everyone else who is actually spending the night at the hotel, I, once again, fit the lame freshman bill.
Thanks, Mom and Dad!
My dad actually offered to pick me up at the hotel—how humiliating. Thankfully, Todd is leaving his car there before the dance, so he's going to drive me home.

I know he
's deep in thought, and I want to wipe the concern off his face. "Don't worry. I've been on the pill for a while, so we're good there."

He gives me a sarcastic
smirk. "I see you've thought of everything."

"
Well, not everything, but I know I love you. I love being with you, and I want to
be
with you."

"
I love you, too, Ash, and I want to
be
with you more than anything. But I want it to be just as special as you, and being in a big hotel room with lots of people, including your brother, isn't going to be special. It should just be you and me. Alone."

My heart sinks a little
. I know he's right, and I know I haven't really thought this through, but I also know that I love him, really love him. I want him to be my first. I can't imagine it being anyone else.

He gives me a bright smile
as his fingers dance over my hair. "It will happen, but we don't need to rush it. I'm just happy you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you." He leans down and gives me a sweet, gentle kiss; one that sums up all of the love I feel for him in this moment.

Chapter 1
1: Prom

We are all meeting at Brian's house for pre-prom pictures. Since the boys left their cars at the hotel, our parents are driving us to Brian's in order to take pictures before we get into the limo.

Brian
's house is basically a mini-mansion. Our town has a few lakes, and his backyard is made up of one of them. It makes for the perfect prom picture backdrop.

As usual, the talk of school
has been who Brian is going to ask to prom, since he's the only one of the Three Musketeer Boys who is single. Plus, the baseball team is having an incredible season and girls can't seem to resist athletes—I know I can't. I have a newfound love for going to games and seeing Todd pitch, although I still might like the tight football pants better—it's a tough call.

In the end, Brian asked Blythe
. They're both pretty adamant that it's just as friends, but I think he sees her as more than a friend. Although, he'll never admit it. Selfishly, I'm glad she's going to be here because, unfortunately, so is RTS. I really wish Gretchen would find a new best friend.

As soon as we walk into Brian
's foyer, Todd is standing there in his tux and bow tie. He always looks incredible, but tonight, in his formal black tux, he looks out of this world. He's six-foot-two-inches of pure perfection. The only thing that is better is the smile he gives me as soon as he sees me in my midnight blue dress which falls just above my ankles. I practically worship the way it hugs my body, accentuating the few curves I have perfectly. I know I look good. I got my hair done by Mom's hairdresser, who's been cutting my hair since I was five. She blew it out then gave me soft, wavy curls. I can't stop touching it; I love the way it feels.

Posing for pictures at homecoming was humiliating
, but tonight, it's exhilarating. Having an excuse for Todd's arms to be wrapped around me is the best part, so far. My parents haven't even made Ryan and I pose together once. Well, they did at home, but thankfully, they are so distracted by all the couple pictures I think brother-sister pictures haven't crossed their minds.
Thank God!

Ryan and
Gretch look perfect, of course. They seriously look like a prom catalog. Gretchen's dress is a canary yellow and perfectly accentuates her golden hair.

Blythe
, however, is in the coolest dress I've ever seen. It rivals her homecoming dress, but there are no safety pins. It's black lace, and at first glance, it looks like she has nothing underneath it, but there is a nude material that lines her body flawlessly. I see all of the boys checking out the slit that goes up to her thigh, even Todd, but who wouldn't notice that? Heck, I can't stop looking, either. The dress is trimmed in black leather and she paired it with the coolest pair of worn in black leather cowboy boots. That's why I love her, only she can get away with cowboy boots at a formal.

RTS
looks fine, I guess. She is all over Johnny, which makes me smile. He keeps giving me glances since I'm the only one here who knows the truth. It's hard not to laugh, although I do feel bad for him.

My heart is pounding as we get into the limo, partly because I
've never been in a limo before and I can't wait, and partly because I still don't feel like I really belong with Ryan and his friends. It's nothing they did—well, other than RTS, who constantly reminds me I'm not good enough for any of them—it's just years of growing up as the younger sister. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. Who cares; I'm riding in a
limo
!

"
What happens at prom, stays at prom people," Ryan shouts down the limo to all of us as we pull away from Brian's house, leaving our parents waving at the curb.

"
Amen," Brian shouts in agreement as he casually drapes his arm around Blythe.

Ryan, Brian
, and Todd are really funny when they get together. It could be because they've truly grown up together and are more like brothers than friends. They play off of each other so perfectly I can't stop laughing. I feel like I'm going to pee myself. Now that would be über humiliating.

Sid: How was prom?

Me: Great until I peed myself in the limo.

Todd
's fingers have been intertwined with mine for the entire ride. I love studying his long, lean fingers and how small his hand makes mine feel.

"
You look beautiful, Ash," he whispers to me as his thumb rubs mine. "And I love that you're wearing this." His fingers slide across the bracelet he gave me for my birthday. I'm not sure why he's surprised; I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me.

I smile up at him and whisper back,
"I love what it stands for."

"
Hey, no secrets down there," Brian shouts to us from the other side of the limo.

"
Shut up, Bri. Don't be jealous just because Blythe isn't whispering in your ear," Todd playfully shouts back, making everyone laugh.

When we walk through the doors of prom
, it's incredible. There are twinkle lights everywhere. The theme is Diamonds and Pearls, and it looks like the room is covered in them.

As soon as we drop our stuff off at the table
, a slow song starts. Todd turns around and gives me his crooked smile. "May I have this dance?" My heart starts to pound as his fingers slide across mine while he pulls me toward the dance floor.

Todd is at least a foot taller than me
, but with heels, I'm tall enough to wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his warm, firm chest. This must be heaven. Feeling his arms wrapped around me, his heart beating as fast as mine, his warm breath tickling my ear as he whispers to me—it's beyond magical. It's better than I've ever imagined. I am in love with prom. I am in love with this boy. I am in love with love.

Prom is flying by in a whirlwind of twinkle lights and soft kisses
, to which Ryan constantly has a look or comment, though I know he's mostly kidding. Thankfully, he is usually preoccupied with Gretchen.

Before I know it
, Todd has to go to the backstage area to meet up with the rest of the band. At first, I was upset that performing would take time away from us at prom, but now, I can't wait to see him sing in his tux.

This last week of Sour Lollipops rehearsals has really paid off because they sound amazing. They
're performing a lot of my favorite songs from different pep rallies, and the crowd is going insane. Then I hear Todd's solo guitar break through the cheers and it quickly silences everyone. I recognize the song immediately; it's an acoustic version of Avicii's "Wake Me Up." Then I hear his gorgeous voice.

Feeling my way through the darkness,

Guided
by a beating heart.

I can
't tell where the journey will end,

But
I know where to start.

Our eyes connect, and even though practically the entire school is here, I feel like we are the only two people in the room. It feels like we are alone in his bedroom, and he is singing just to me except we are surrounded by twinkle lights, and I'm wearing a formal dress.

After the last song, Johnny and I run backstage to see Todd and
Shane, although Johnny's pretending he's going to see RTS.

"
You guys sounded incredible," I say, beaming as Todd wraps his arms around me. I love feeling his sweaty skin against mine.

“I’m glad you liked it. I picked all of your favorite songs.” He whispers in my ear
.

"
Thanks, Ash." Shane throws his arms around me with a smile—he might be even sweatier than Todd—but I know the person he really wants to hug is standing right behind me.

Johnny is playing the part of a good date and congrat
ulating RTS, but he finally finds a way to break away from her to talk to Shane. In all the excitement backstage, he wraps his arms around Shane and lifts him up off the ground in a bear hug. At first, Shane wraps his arms around Johnny, and I love the smile that is on his face, but then I see him stiffen when he remembers where we are and who we're surrounded by. Luckily, everyone is so caught up in the excitement of the performance they are hugging, so nothing seems out of the ordinary to anyone else, but both Johnny and I can sense Shane's tension.

"
Relax." Johnny rubs his arm. "You were great out there."

"
Thanks, J," Shane says, looking down at the floor. Oh, how I wish he would just grab his hand, or better yet, reach over and kiss him, but I know Shane and it will never happen.

As if there isn
't enough tension already, I look over and see Beth heading this way. Beth was Shane's brother Roger's girlfriend. They were still dating when he was killed last year. She was a senior when it happened, and she didn't come back to school for a full month.

Beth might be the prettiest girl I
've ever seen. She is a beautiful marriage of ethnicities; her dad is from the Philippians and her mom is Irish, I think. She has the silkiest, straightest black hair and light hazel eyes. She is truly stunning.

My heart drops for Shane when I see her. I know it can
't be easy. They are two of the only people on earth who truly know how the other one feels. They both loved Roger with their whole hearts, differently yet the same.

"
Hey, Shane. You sounded really great out there
." As she
wraps her arms around him, my heart sinks deeper for him.

"
Beth, thanks." He hugs her back. I know he hasn't seen her since last summer. She's back from college because she was Prom Queen last year and it's tradition for last year's Prom Queen to pass her crown on to this year's. I totally forgot, and by the look on his face, so did Shane.

After everyone greets Beth with hugs and small talk
, the crowd starts to head back to the main ballroom. Todd mouths
'I'll meet you out there.'
That's the other thing that is absolutely incredible about him; he knows and understands my friendship with Shane. He's never jealous or insecure, and he can sense when Shane really needs me. I see Johnny give Shane a look as RTS locks her fingers with his and pulls him back out toward the ballroom. I'm not sure if he knows who Beth is
,
but he gives me a smile that says he's glad I'm with Shane.

"
Shane
,
can I talk to you for sec?" Beth asks
. T
his has got to be just as painful for her as it is for Shane.

I start to leave, sensing this needs to be a private co
nversation, but Shane grabs my hand and pulls me back. The smile on his face is saying please stay; therefore I do. Beth catches on quickly. She can tell this conversation won't happen unless it's the three of us. When she gestures toward a few steps, we all go sit down.

"
How are you?" she asks, pain filling her eyes. I feel bad being here for this conversation, but Shane squeezes my hand tightly, as if to respond to my internal thoughts. I know he needs me, so I'm not going anywhere.

"
I'm okay." He stares down at the floor, still squeezing my hand insanely tight. "How about you?"

Beth lets out a long breath, as
though she's contemplating saying something. She looks down at the same wood grain floor Shane's eyes are fixated on. "Not good, actually." She presses her lips together for a while, like she's trying to compose herself. "It's just been really hard, you know. I miss him."

I didn
't think Shane could squeeze my hand any tighter, yet he does. "I know. I miss him, too. It's been rough with my parents."

Her eyes glance over to meet his
. "I know." She places her hand on his knee. "I heard. I'm really sorry."

Shane shrugs
. "It's okay. I mean, it's getting a little better, or at least, I'm getting used to it."

Beth stares out a
t the brick wall that separates the stage from the ballroom. "It's really hard being here, seeing everyone, seeing you up there on stage." Her gaze refocuses on Shane. "You look so much like him when you play." Her lips turn up into a smile at the memory.

"
Yeah, I know. It was cool of Todd to ask me to take his place. It makes me feel closer to him in a strange way."

Beth smiles back
. "I get it, Shane. It's hard to be back here for me because it makes me remember. I spend so much time trying to forget, but being here brings it all back. It gets a little easier when you're removed from it, being away at school. I try hard to forget, but I really can't. I loved him so much. We were supposed to be together forever. I was supposed to meet him at college this year, and he'd be playing football and I'd be there in the stands, cheering him on. But I am there and he isn't." Her voice cracks and breaks off as she wipes at the corner of her eyes. Shane's grip hasn't loosened at all, and I can feel him fighting back tears with all of his might.

"
I know you can't get away from it now, but you will. It will get easier." She smiles at Shane. "I know he'd be so proud of you, and the man you're becoming."