accidental 11 - accidentally ever after (29 page)

Toni held up a finger and waved it. “Yeah. Can I get an explanation on these, please? Because trust me when I say, I was the last person on earth someone would nominate to slay dragons back in Jersey and now I’m suddenly fairytale villain slayer of the year.”

King Dick barked a laugh, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Those shoes once belonged to a very powerful queen. She gave them to me upon her death when she could no longer trust they would be guarded with caution. I have kept them a secret for many years now. Simply the knowledge of them could cause great upset in my peaceful land. They allow you to absorb your enemy’s powers, but in the wrong hands, they can be quite dangerous. Which only goes to show, you are honorable and kind.”

Toni ran a hand over her forehead to squeeze her temple. “Just for the sake of security, a drunken witch stole them from you. Maybe you might want to consider tightening your ship?”

King Dick grinned. “Indeed I shall.” He knelt in front of her and asked,” If I might?”

Toni nodded, almost hesitantly. She’d had these things on for almost three weeks. What would she do when her feet were no longer in arched Barbie position?

The king placed his hand at her heel and pulled first one then the other shoe off, leaving her feet finally free. Toni wiggled her toes in gratitude as the tingle she’d grown used to fizzled and dissipated entirely. “Thank you.”

King Dick smiled as he rose. “And now, for your wish. I shall grant you each one. Will it be that you leave Shamalot, Toni, and return to your homeland of Jersey? I wish nothing but love for my son, but I have learned a very hard-won lesson today. I cannot force the heart to do what it does not wish, and I sense your heart is torn.”

Her throat tightened, her stomach clenched. The dreaded eleventh hour was upon her and she had to make a choice. How would she ever choose between the love of her life and her beloved brother?

Damn you, realm!

But Iver stepped forward, his eyes full of determination, his jaw rigid. “I would have this known—if Toni chooses to return home, I shall go with her, Father. I will not leave my true love under any circumstances.”

Marty and Wanda’s wings began to flap wildly. “Fan me, Wanda,” Marty ordered with a breathy demand. “Before I pass out from all this man.”

But now Toni shook her head, bracketing his face in her hands. “No, Jon.” She shook her head and corrected herself. “
Iver
. I can’t let you do that. I won’t ask you to leave your family, your kingdom, your everything for me.”

“You
are everything
,” he whispered, gripping her wrists. “None of it matters if you are not by my side to share it. And I will not be denied the chance to know you.”

Roz stepped in then, letting the hood of her coat fall to her shoulders, her craggy, lined face smiling. “I must tell you what I have seen in my mirror, children. I did not understand last eve when the vision came, but now I do. Listen close. You are, indeed, the prince’s one true love, milady. I did not tell falsehoods when I counseled the king of such. He was right to send Resplendant away. And your happiness Brenda spoke of indeed lies with Iver. Yet, the prince’s one true love must stay here in Shamalot in order to remain safe from those who wish to harm her in her homeland.” She turned to Marty, Wanda and Nina. “
You
three must return to your families, and help the maiden save her brother—for he is in great danger.”

“
He’s alive?
” Toni almost screamed as relief flooded her veins, forcing her to lean back against Iver, who held her steady and strong.

“Aye,” she said, her gravelly voice thick. “But he is in dire need of help, and the maidens must assist where the moon is high over the forests, where the wind blows endlessly and the trees and water are in abundance.”

“But what does that mean? Will I ever see him again? I can’t see him if I’m not there, and I want to help find him.”

Roz placed a hand on Toni’s and stared deep into her eyes. “You must heed my warning. ’Tis urgent you do so. There are hunters who seek you, milady. Ugly hunters who will take your life if they locate you. I can assist with a means for you to see your brother and your newfound friends again, but for now, you must stay here and learn to rule the kingdom with the prince, and they must return.”

“And you must give me your word you speak the truth, Roz. I will not have my lady’s heart suffer,” Iver said.

Roz instantly bowed in reverence. “My word, my prince. She will see her brother again. This I swear to you.”

“Welp, I guess that’s settled, huh, kiddo?” Nina asked with a nudge, her voice weak and trembling. She began to pull the bluebirds from her hair and the one from inside the bodice of her dress, setting them on the edge of a broken chair, where they continued to chirp. “Promise me you’ll take care of these little buggers. I’m fucking attached.”

Toni threw her arms around Nina’s waist and hugged her hard. “I promise. Now, we need to get her home, Roz. How do we do it? She’s sick and—”

Nina thwarted Toni’s words by hugging her back with a weak squeeze. “You be good, kiddo. Whatever we need to do back in Jersey, consider it done. Okay? Go be happy, Sparkly Pants,” she gruffed out before letting go and knocking Dannan in his thigh. “You look out for Red here.”

Dannan rumbled his consent, his wide chest expanding as he sucked in a breath of air.

Tears fell from Marty and Wanda’s eyes as they held out their arms to her and gathered her and Nina into their embrace. “What Nina said. We’ll find Cormac, I promise. We’ll do whatever it takes to help him. But you have to promise us something. Stay put. Try not to fret. Become part of this world you’ve fallen in love with—learn it—learn how to be a good princess. Most of all, find your joy again, honey. You’ve been so long without.”

Toni inhaled a shuddering breath as Iver tucked her back by his side. “So this is it?” she asked Roz on a squeak.

They’d all been so tightly bound by the chore of getting her to the castle, she wasn’t sure what she’d do when she didn’t wake up to Nina complaining about her stupid hair, or when she could no longer tell Carl one of her mixed-up fairytales. “Everyone can go home now?”

Roz nodded her silvery head, tucking Toni’s hand into hers. “For now, yes. But you will meet again and again. This I promise. All you have to do is ask.”

Toni turned to face the women and Carl, leaning down she pressed a kiss to the top of his head as tears fell from her eyes and her heart swelled in her chest.

“You be good, and the next time you read a story, think of me, huh, buddy?”

Carl stomped his hoof and nudged her with his muzzle as she stroked his soft jaw.

How did she say goodbye to these women? How did she let them go after everything they’d done for her? How did she tell them how much they meant?

But she would. Because it was important to say it as often as she could, whenever she could. “And you three? How do I even begin to say thank you? I…” She choked on her words, almost unable to get them out. “I never would have made it here without your support. I haven’t had anyone on my side for a long time, but I’m damn glad it was you three and Carl who showed up when I needed someone the most. So…thank you.
Thank you
. All of you. I’ll never forget what you did for me—
ever
.”

“Nor I, fair maidens,” Iver said, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “You are brave and noble, and I shall never forget what you have done for Shamalot by helping to save the good people and Toni from Angria’s destruction. You are always welcome, honored guests in our kingdom.” He bowed before the women then stroked Carl’s head.

Nina balled her fist and gave Iver a gentle slug to his arm. “You be nice to Red here, Prince Flawless. Or I come back. Then I kill you. Got it?”

Iver barked a laugh and pulled Nina into a hug. “I shall wait in fear of your reprisal, Discontent One.”

Marty and Wanda, both smiling through tears, hugged him, too. Dannan gathered them all up and squeezed. “Come back soon, lasses, and I shall show ye the town as my guests. We’ll chase elves and drink thistleberry wine.”

Everyone laughed, wiping their eyes.

“If you are ready,” Roz prompted, pulling a hand mirror from the pocket of her lush coat.

Toni hugged them all hard, one right after the other, pressing kisses to their cheeks. “Be safe. When you find Cormac, tell him I love him, and that I’m happy. So happy.”

Toni stepped back then and whispered, “Merry Christmas,” smiling at Carl and the trio, their hair falling in wet clumps around their faces, their gorgeous gowns torn and soot-covered, tears glistening in their eyes. She waved, blowing them a kiss as Roz held up her hand mirror against one of the walls still standing in the ballroom.

“Mirror, mirror in my hand—send them home to their land!”

There was a second’s worth of a pause as Toni watched a spiral of green smoke twist upward and then a door appeared. A door that looked just like the door to the dressing room in the outlet store.

They each stepped over the threshold, with Nina last in line. Clinging to Marty’s hand, she turned back and gave Toni the thumbs-up sign and grinned before the door disappeared into the smoky mist and they were gone.

Iver pulled her close to his side as she let her cheek rest against his broad chest, tears spilling from her eyes. While she was thrilled to begin this adventure with her prince, she felt like a piece of her had just left.

“Don’t be sad, milady. For they will return and we shall throw them a ball the likes of which they’ve never seen. I shall see to it myself.”

Toni barked a laugh, drying her eyes with a torn piece of his shirt. “Hah! Bet Nina can’t wait to put on another ball gown.”

Tipping her chin up with his fingers, he whispered down at her, “You are one fierce opponent, milady. You saved Shamalot today. I burst with pride.”

She smiled up at him, loving the way she fit against his hard frame. “You saved
me
. You
sacrificed
yourself for me.”

“And I’d do it again and again. You and your safety, your happiness, will always be my first priority.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, making her warm all over.

When she pulled away, leaning back in his arms, she said, “So I guess we have some talking to do, huh,
Prince Iver
? Owner of a castle the size of Hoboken, wielder of the sword of wrath and, I’m assuming, richer than God?”

He grinned, lifting one eyebrow. “Was my heartfelt apology not enough?”

“I think you skipped some serious details, Reindeer Whisperer,” she teased.

“Maybe one or two,” he hedged on a chuckle.

“So here’s what I was thinking. Why don’t we get to know each other a little better while we clean up this mess?”

Iver looked around at the debris-filled ballroom and winced as frightened servants began to poke their heads into what was left of the entryway.

“I do not know if we possess a broom large enough in all of Shamalot, milady.”

Toni giggled, grasping his hand and pulling him over an enormous chunk of cracked marble. “Why don’t you show me your broom closet and we’ll see?”

But he stopped her and pulled her tight to him. “Is this a saucy euphemism from your land of Jersey for something other than cleaning the castle?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You wanna find out?” she teased, running her tongue over his lower lip, loving that he stiffened against her.

“Oh, indeed, milady. Indeed, I do,” he said, before stealing her breath and her heart by kissing her soundly.

And as Iver held her close, Antonia Vitali from the land of intor-nets and cars that went vroom-vroom, knew without a shadow of a doubt, she’d found her one true love.

* * * *

And this storyteller is thrilled beyond words to tell you, the prince and the soon-to-be princess rode off into the broom closet to discover the joys of euphemisms from the land of Jersey.

Ahem.

And they lived happily-ever-after.

They really, really did!

Epilogue

S
ome time later in Shamalot time—and eleven and counting implausible paranormal accidents gone by—a not-so-vampire anymore vampire; a beautiful halfsie; a gorgeous blonde werewolf; a cuddly demon who’d discovered he had a kindred spirit in a blue ogre; a manservant who’d raised hell in the royal kitchens when he’d found out they knew nothing about garlic infusion; a sweet zombie who suddenly had the gift of a limited but thoughtful vocabulary; a blue ogre who was in the process of teaching his beloved princess the art of the sword; a king named Dick and his queen Jane; a former faux prince turned successful reindeer farming entrepreneur and his beautiful, expectant wife Resplendant; one very happily getting-to-know-her-prince, soon-to-be princess Antonia of the Fiery Hair; and one even happier, flawlessly gorgeous Prince Iver, all gathered at the under-construction Castle Beckett for a belated Christmas/Princess Party gathering…

As Toni looked down the long table, set with beautiful china and silver, red and white flowers spilling from small vases on a lush tablecloth, at her friends and
their
friends, her prince at her right, the king and queen at each end, she beamed with gratitude.

As promised, to wipe out the horrible memory of the last celebration gone awry, Iver had indeed hosted a ball for them, a belated Christmas ball fit for princesses Hollis, Charlie, Naomi, Noa, Penny and the twin princes, Alistair and Daniel; a ball set right in the middle of Castle Beckett’s recreation room—which was closer to the kitchen and, according to Arch, easier on his aging knees.

They’d found out the world of Shamalot really was in a different time, and back in Jersey it was the week after Christmas, even though at the castle, it was now well into a bitterly cold January.

The girls of OOPS hadn’t missed any of the Christmas festivities, according to Nina. They’d gotten back in plenty of time to uphold all of their traditions, and now they were here, with Toni and Iver, laughing, chatting, getting to know one another as they feasted and celebrated the miracle of friendship between two very different worlds.