accidental 11 - accidentally ever after (28 page)

Toni skidded into Nina, who wobbled and gripped her arms. “Listen to me!” she yelled to the bedraggled vampire above the noise. “I have an idea. When I say go, help knock her down. Do you still have the energy?”

Nina’s mouth twisted in pain, her eyes riddled with the agony of her lack of nourishment. “No, kiddo, don’t try anything crazy!”

“Nina! Trust me, please. I trusted you, now you have to trust me! On the word go!” she bellowed as she yanked her arm from the vampire’s and ran, waving her hands at Jon.

Jon swiped his sword at Angria, striking uselessly at her midsection.

“Jon! Go for her legs! Get Marty and Wanda and Dannan and knock her down!” she hollered to him, dropping to the floor where the king was sprawled.

She dragged him upward out of the line of fire, sweat pouring down her face, shivering violently from the merciless wind and snow pelting at every inch of her exposed flesh. “King Dick, stay out of the way. Stay right here,” she ordered, spitting her hair from her face.

“Nay! I shall help!” he said, giving her a shove. “Go! I’ll aim for her legs as instructed!”

Dannan came crashing toward her then, his suspenders hanging from his big body, his arms and chest covered in gashes, his sword swinging.

“Dannan! Pick me up!” She held her arms up to him and as he ran by, he scooped her up, tucking her to his chest.

“Milady, what do ye plan?”

“I need to knock her down to get to her chest!” she yelled, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Don’t fight me on this, just throw me right at her head and then take the bitch down! Be safe! On the word go, okay?”

As they neared Angria, her hands throwing out one torture after another at them, her eyes wild with hate, Toni sent up a little prayer.

Dear Realm,

I could really use a win. Whatever you want, take it
—
even if it means taking me.

Preparing her body for launch, she yelled to everyone, “Gooo!”

Dannan dropped his sword midstride and grabbed her at the waist, propelling her at Angria’s head.

Toni landed on her shoulders with a thud, her heels sinking into the queen’s flesh, her feet finding that familiar tingle. She grabbed her hair, knocking the queen’s heavy crown to the floor in the process. As it crashed and broke into golden pieces, Nina, Marty, Wanda, Jon, King Dick, and Dannan all began hacking at Angria’s legs as though they were chopping trees.

Angria screamed her outrage, rearing her head back while Toni hung on to her slick black hair, bellowing a long, furious howl as the queen began falling to the ground.

Pulling the knife from between her breasts with one hand, slipping down along her shoulder, Toni clung to the front of the queen’s gown and, when she landed with a thud, debris flying up all around them from the impact, she raised her arms high, gripping the long knife, preparing to sink the steel deep into her heart.

The queen’s irate eyes rolled to the back of her head, her mouth opening wide as she wailed a protest just as Toni lifted the knife to embed it in her flesh.

In that crucial moment, the queen’s arm rose, her fingers sprouting long, brittle nails, preparing to swipe Toni.

But Jon screamed a warning in sync with Dannan. She saw Jon run toward the queen’s hand, waving his arms at her. “Toni, no!” he hollered in a raw cry of anguish, just before he struck the air with his sword, narrowly missing the queen’s arm and falling in front of her sharp claws.

Everything happened in slow motion for Toni then.

Dannan toppled, skidding across the floor on his butt and crashing into a wall, his head snapping back and forward before lolling to the side.

But it was seeing Jon, thrown high into the air, deep gashes of crimson across his neck and chest, that made Toni scream her fury, cry out in utter despair.

She saw Nina hiss from the corner of her eye, heard her scream the word “No!” as she flashed her fangs just before sinking them deeply into the queen’s neck. She fell backward to the floor, collapsing against the broken marble.

Angria reared her head back and screeched a mournful wail as Marty and Wanda used their swords to slice her head off.

With everything Toni had, she rammed the knife into Angria’s chest, plunging deeply, using her legs to push the blade in as far into her as she could, until only the carved handle was left exposed.

The queen’s body shrunk right before her eyes, shriveling and trembling until she returned to her former size.

A sneer crossed her lips as Toni used her last ounce of energy to widen the wound with the blade, driving her hand into the queen’s chest, her anguished cry echoing throughout the decimated ballroom when she pushed her way through bone and vessels and blood and yanked the queen’s heart out, throwing it to the ground with a sob.

Her shoulders slumped as sorrow sank in, deep and gnawing, making her body weak, her bones melt as she fell from the queen’s bloated body to the floor and scrambled to reach for Jon’s lifeless hand.

She gripped it tight, tears pouring from her eyes.

So close.

She’d been so close

Chapter 17

T
oni blinked, her gaze taking in the disaster area the ballroom had become. Flowers, torn to shreds and wilted, covered the floor, ice melted in enormous puddles filled with chunks of marble and broken candlesticks.

The grandfather clock lay on its side, smashed, its springs spilling from the guts of its body. Dannan’s big blue frame was crumpled in a corner, unmoving after the blow he’d taken when he’d tried to distract Angria for Jon.

The queen’s body had disappeared into the ether, and Toni was glad for it, or she might have been tempted to fry her to a crisp.

And she still held Jon’s hand—or the real Prince Iver’s hand—and that was all she needed, she thought, as she lay unmoving amidst the rubble.

She gripped Jon’s cold, unmoving fingers tight, refusing to let go as tears filled her eyes. He’d taken the hit for her, taken it like the stand-up guy he was, and she was never letting go.

She’d stay on this damn floor until she rotted and Angria’s mutated bats picked the flesh from her bones, but she wasn’t letting go. She’d failed him. She couldn’t bear that she’d failed him.

“Dannan? Please say he’s all right?” she asked on a croak to anyone who cared to answer.

“He’s okay. Still breathing, just passed out. Now, kiddo…I need you to hear me,” Nina said, kneeling on the floor next to her, her pale face haggard as she leaned over Toni’s body to look down at her, her eyes full of anguish and weary with exhaustion. “Let go of him.
Please
let go.”

But she shook her head. They likely all thought she was insane, but she didn’t care. She would never let go. “No. No, I won’t. I finally found somewhere to be,
someone
to be with, and I’m not leaving him. I left once. I won’t do it again.”

Marty muffled a sob, her hair topsy-turvy, her once-beautiful lavender dress all but hanging off her body. “Sweetie, give me your hand. You’re not making sense right now. You’ll come back with us. I swear to you, Toni, we’ll take care of you. You’ll come to Buffalo. You’ll stay at the house with me and Keegan and Hollis. Eventually, you’ll work at Pack—that’s our cosmetic company. You’ll be amazing. Harry, my brother-in-law who works in accounting, will train you. He’ll love you, too. I know it hurts right now, honey. I know it hurts almost more than you think you can bear, but we’ll help. You’ll never be without us. Please, Toni. Please let go.”

Wanda was there then, her perfect face covered in smudges of soot, her hair lopsided and mashed to her face, her dress sodden from the snow.

She brushed Toni’s hair from her eyes with a trembling hand. “Honey, listen to me. Please,
please
listen. We have to go. It’s going to be okay. Not now. Not a month from now, maybe not even a year from now, but someday…someday it
will
be okay. It will. I’ll make sure it will. Arch will cook for you. He’ll coddle you. He’ll
love
you. Darnell will sit with you. He’ll take walks with you. He’ll rock you until you fall asleep on my porch swing. But you have to let go. I’m begging you, come back with us.”

Carl sat down on his haunches, letting his front legs slide forward until he was resting against Toni’s side, his chin on her arm. He whimpered, nudging her, and still she held Jon’s hand.

Nina hooked her arms under Toni’s and pulled with a grunt, her tug weak. “Come with us, Toni. I’ll do whatever you need.”

“Will you be my BFF?” she asked weakly, tears gushing from her eyes and streaming down her face.

“Forever and ever. Swear it on Marty’s life.”

“Will you braid my hair? Talk to me for hours on the phone while we watch
The Bachelor
?”

Nina nodded in earnest, giving up on trying to move Toni. “I’ll do sleepovers and fucking hair salon appointments, and GD shopping until your legs fall off. We’ll see rom-coms till your flippin’ eyes bleed, but you have to come with me now. We need to see the king and go home.”

“I…I can’t,” she managed to husk out without sobbing.

“You can. You fucking will. The hell I’m leaving you here,” Nina insisted, sitting back from her kneeling position to flop on the floor tiredly. She gripped Toni’s free hand and pressed it to her stone-cold cheek before setting it in her lap.
“You can
.”

Marty placed her hand over Nina’s, and Wanda repeated the act. They held her hand that way for what seemed like forever, stroking her fingers, whispering to her, soothing her.

“Why do you sit upon the floor when the prince’s life hangs in the balance?” someone asked with an outraged yelp.

“Lady, shut the fuck up. I don’t know who the hell you are, but Jesus and fuck, we’ve been through some shit here, okay? Nothing’s hanging in the balance. Now blow,” Toni heard Nina say before she caught sight of an elderly woman.

“
Are you mad
?” the woman wailed, making a fist of her wrinkled hands and wringing them.

“Do you mean, like, mad as in I wanna rip your head off? Yeah. I’m mad. Or do you mean crazy like belong-in-a-straightjacket mad? Because then no. Though, after this crap, you’d think I’d be headed in that direction. Now go away and let the kid mourn her man!”

“No, no! You misunderstand! She is his one true love—she and only she can save him! I saw her face in my mirror. She is the one!”

Toni gasped at the woman’s words just as King Dick appeared above her. The arm of his fancy jacket ripped completely off, his hair hanging in his regal face, dripping droplets of water mingled with the blood from the cut on his forehead down on her.

“Roz speaks the truth! You must save him, Antonia!”

She sat upright so fast it made her head spin. Looking up at the old woman, her wrinkled face so sincere, Toni asked frantically, “
How?
Tell me how!”

Whatever it took. If she had to eat frog’s legs, turn tricks in the Garden of Wings, whatever.

Roz looked at her as if
she
were the one who was crazy. “True love’s kiss, of course!”

Toni blinked, because this really was madness. A perfect, incredible insanity to be sure, but utter madness. So much so that she began to laugh at the irony, her head falling back on her aching shoulders, her eyes filling with tears. Marty, Nina and Wanda joined her in her laughter until they were all holding their stomachs.

Of course it was true love’s kiss that would save him. Of course.

Toni rolled toward Jon—or Iver—or whoever, resting her torso upon his as she brushed his wet hair from his face. His handsome, flawless face, with eyelashes that swept over his ruddy-colored skin in ebony perfection and cheeks a Kardashian would kill for.

Toni smiled at him, her heart swelling in her chest, her fingers trembling as they traced his mouth.

“Ye must wake now, Stable Boy, for ’tis I, your one true love,” she whispered, before she placed her lips on his, his mouth cold and unyielding, and kissed him.

With everything she had. For all she was worth, with all the growing love she’d thought was crazy to have felt after knowing him for so little time.

There was a moment of silence, a slight intake of air when Wanda and Marty held their breath. A moment where she did indeed think Roz might be out of her mind.

But then Jon’s chest heaved and his eyes popped open. His beautiful sapphire eyes. “Milady?” he croaked, his deep voice cracking.

“If you ever do that to me again, I’ll show you what wrath and swords are really all about,
Prince Iver Daring
,” she murmured, tears falling from her eyes to land on his chest as she ran her hands over his face.

He used a thumb to swipe at the salty drops. “I did owe you one, did I not? I suppose we can call it even now, eh?” he asked on a chuckle.

Toni fought a sob. “You know what I think? I think we should just wipe the slate clean. Let’s start all over. I’m Toni Vitali from the land of intor-nets, phones, cars that go vroom-vroom and dating—better known as Jersey. Pleased to meet you,
Iver
.”

Iver smiled up at her, flashing his white teeth. “That’s prince to you.”

Toni poked him in the ribs while she laughed, making him groan as Marty and Wanda helped them from the floor, throwing their arms around them and hugging the couple hard.

Nina roused Dannan, gripping his big fingers and pulling him to a standing position.

He smiled and scooped Toni up in his big hand, holding her in front of his face. “Aye, lass, you are a fine friend and a mighty wench.”

She gripped his fluted ears and kissed the end of his big blue nose before he set her down next to Iver.

Toni took a deep breath as she addressed everyone with a smile, knowing what had to happen next, even as she dreaded it. “Whaddya say we return some shoes and get you guys home?”

King Dick cleared his throat and pointed to the shoes. “About the shoes. I do not know how you came upon them, my lady Toni, but I owe you the deepest of gratitude for their return. They are dangerous when in the wrong hands, which is why, I assume, the good witch Brenda gave them to such a fierce warrior.” He bowed in front of Toni then rose to smile at her.