Abandon (5 page)

The next morning was cool, but sunny. Lucy waited with Harriet on the steps in front of her home dressed in a deep red riding habit. Harriet was in blue, her cheeks flushed and looking very pretty. She was also nervous.

“You know I am not much of a rider, Lucy,” she said. “I cannot ride at a gallop. And I don’t want to fall off and have an injury before my wedding.”

“We’ll take it slow. I’m sure that George has got us two slugs to ride and if the men want to go faster, I will stay with you.”

Harriet grimaced, uncomfortable and embarrassed at her lack of riding skills. “It’s just as well that George does not love me for my ability on a horse. But you are such a good rider. I do not wish to hold you back. Stay with Lovell as George does not mind riding with me.”

Now it was Lucy’s turn to grimace, but she did not reply. In truth, growing up in the country as she had, she was an excellent rider. She and Aubrey had roamed the fields of the Yorkshire, often sneaking away together. Her father had given her a beautiful chestnut mare, dainty and skittish, but Lucy had loved her and named her Ophelia. She would ride for hours. Her family hadn't worried. Most times she had a groom with her and otherwise stayed on their own land.

But those times were long ago and this was different. Lucy had gone along with Harriet’s scheme last night, but there was no need for the playacting to extend much farther. She had slept fitfully, plagued with dreams of Aubrey's firm body and hot hands. There were dark crescents under her eyes and she told herself that it did not matter. She would ride sedately next to Harriet and Lovell could go to the devil. She was not going to let that bloody rake disturb her nights any more. She had put thoughts of him away years ago. She would plod on her horse next to Harriet no matter what anyone said.

Lucy could still feel the burn of Aubrey’s hand on her waist and the heat of his body as he held her close when dancing the night before. She still breathed in his scent around her, the bergamot and faint male sweat that signified only Aubrey. Damn the man, why couldn’t he leave her alone? True, she had started this by impulsively slapping him on the street, but they must have appeased the gossips in the Ton by now. He had danced with her twice last night and then had led her into supper. He had been marked with his attentions and Harriet had heard ridiculous rumors of a lover’s quarrel that had been smoothed over. So the gossips must have moved on to someone new by now.

Although when Lucy had suggested this, Harriet had actually tut-tutted her. “No, no,” she had been emphatic. Lucy must continue to suffer Aubrey’s attentions until the wedding had taken place. Clearly, Lucy thought, even Aubrey would not wish to waste his time with her for another few weeks.

It would be better if Carlisle had returned, but he was still delayed on his estate business. He would distract her from Lovell until she could return home, if the duke ever returned to London.

“Ah, here they are,” Harriet exclaimed and Lucy looked up to see George and Aubrey approaching on horseback. A groom led two riding horse behind them. One horse was exactly as Lucy had expected, steady and broad, a sedate companion for Harriet. But the other was a lovely mare that brought back memories of Ophelia, dark with white stockings, frisking her tail as she pulled at the leading rein.

The men dismounted to help the women onto their mounts. “Good morning, ladies.” George was all good bonhomie this morning. “I trust that you slept well,” he addressed Harriet as she beamed a big smile at him and nodded.

Meanwhile Aubrey approached Lucy and took her hand, a twinkle in his green eyes as he noted her resistance. “A good morning to you, Lady Lucilla. You look lovely as always.” He gave her hand a subtle squeeze while studying her face. In fact, Lucy looked tired and pale, dark circles under her eyes. She did not smile at his overture nor reply, her eyes darting to the mare as she tugged her fingers away from him. His smile faded and his lips tightened, but he gave no other sign that her indifference affected him.

“Let me help you up onto your mount, my lady.” Lucy looked up then, startled, and turned to look for a mounting block or step that she could use instead. Aubrey put his hands on her waist and lifted her as her head snapped back around, her eyes wide and her mouth round in surprise as her rump landed on the saddle. Aubrey ignored her, instead putting her boot into the stirrup and pulling the hem of her red habit down over it. Lucy fussed with the reins, trying to ignore the hot imprint of his hands on her waist.

Aubrey turned to remount his own stallion, a feisty chestnut named Seraph, a grin on his face and his mood restored. He had noted Lucy’s discomfort at his touch which meant that his closeness affected her and that was all in his favor. Meanwhile George had helped Lady Harriet onto her horse and they were ready to set out. Lucy immediately maneuvered to ride next to Harriet, leaving the two gentlemen to ride together. Aubrey casually moved Seraph in front of her, blocking her until George was next to Harriet. Lucy slanted her eyes and shot him a quick look, but followed Aubrey as they rode to the park. She looked all around her, refusing to acknowledge Aubrey on the horse next to her.

“It’s a beautiful day for a ride.” Aubrey decided to draw her attention. Lucy continued to ignore him, studiously examining the front door of the town house they were passing. “Do you not agree that it is a lovely day, Lady Lucilla?”

She turned her face towards him, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. “I suppose it is,” she said carelessly, apparently deciding that it was better to humor him.

“I thought that when we reach the park, you might care for a gallop. Aversley will attend on Lady Harriet.”

“Perhaps I can stay with Lady Harriet and you might gallop off with Lord Aversley.” Lucy’s tone was sickly-sweet, but Aubrey ignored it.

“I remember how you used to ride at Wakefield, racing across the fields, your hair streaming out behind you. You loved to race your horse.”

Lucilla felt his words as a blow to the pit of her stomach. Her face stiffened and she stared straight ahead as she replied, “Perhaps at one time I was careless with my mount, but I have learned to pick more carefully. I am much more sedate now and not willing to take risky chances anymore.” She turned her face towards him. “Those days are long gone. I do not remember them any longer.”

Aubrey did not betray the clenching in his gut that her words caused, but gave a slight nod, acknowledging that he understood the meaning behind her speech. “You were never careless, Lucy, but perhaps it was I that was irresponsible and certainly reckless. You can inspire a man to that. But I never meant for things to end the way that they did. Believe me when I say that I was duped in a most cruel way, otherwise I would never have left you.”

Lucy’s face paled even more and she tensed in her saddle. “It matters naught anymore, and never did. A harmless flirtation between two young people was all it was.” She bit her lip and looked away.

“No, Lucy, it was never a flirtation, and certainly not harmless. I believe that I did great harm and I’d like to make recompense.”

Two bright spots appeared on Lucilla’s cheeks and she swallowed, trying to regain her composure. Her eyes grew bright and she blinked, trying to stop tears from falling.

“Lucy, I…” Aubrey wanted to pull her over onto the saddle in front of him and hold her, but they were nearing the entrance to the park.

“It is nothing, my lord.” Lucy straightened her back even more, her shoulders set and head tilted away from him. She longed to break into a gallop and fly away, but instead bit her lower lip and regained her composure. Aubrey eyed her carefully and sighed, knowing he could say no more. There were too many other people around and he could not be any more indiscreet that he already had been.

They had to stop at the entrance to the park as more riders and carriages jostled to enter the gates. Aubrey shook his head impatiently. How did anyone expect to get in a good ride? This was not even the busy time as that was later in the day. He longed for Lovell Abbey, the open fields around his home and the clear, fresh air of the north. It had been a long time that he had been home, since the day that he had left Lucy and gone to Italy. He abruptly missed it with a pang that nearly took his breathe away. He wanted, he needed to go home, clear out of the city and its crowds and its dirty air. But he would not go until he could take Lucy with him.

He followed George and Harriet into the park and it did open up a little. He glanced over at Lucy, silent and composed on her mare, the little red hat that matched her habit perched fetchingly atop her chestnut curls. Their progress was slow. Carriages clogged the drive and groups of people strode the pathways. This is what a sunny morning in London drove people to. And George and Lady Harriet knew so many people that they must constantly stop to greet friends and acquaintances.

It seemed like they would never proceed, Lucy thought. She longed to move on, away from the gossip and stares of the members of the Ton, but they had paused again, to chat with another group of people who had been walking nearby. Lucy gritted her teeth as Harriet and George dismounted the better to speak with them. The groom took the leads of their horses while they strolled a little apart. Lovell was still on his horse, talking to three men who had ridden up to greet him. She looked around, desperate to get away and abruptly slid from her mount, tossing the reins to the hapless groom. No one noticed as she strode away on a nearby path.

Aubrey was conversing with Thornton and Blakesley who had rode up with another man, William Smythe, a friend from their club. Blakesley was grousing about the crowds.

“I told you we should have gone to Green Park. At least there we might have got in a gallop.” The crowded grounds disgusted him.

Aubrey nodded, his mind on Lucy, knowing that under the circumstances he was not likely to have any private speech with her. He sighed, seeing that George and Lady Harriet were still on the ground laughing with their acquaintances. Harriet was a tentative rider and took any excuse to get off of her horse. They would probably stroll for a while. All at once he realized that Lucy was no longer on her horse and turned his head, looking for her on the ground. The groom noticed him looking and nodded at a path that led down to the Serpentine. Aubrey excused himself from his friends, ignoring the wink that Thornton gave him. He nodded his thanks to the groom and dismounted, passing his reins to the unfortunate groom who was now holding onto five horses.

He skirted around a small group of ladies who were trying to draw his attention, intent on finding Lucy. It was much less crowded on the path, away from those who thronged the main thoroughfare. He could see the sparkle of water ahead as the path emerged along the water.

As he came around a corner Aubrey stopped and grinned at the sight ahead of him. How like Lucy. Her boots were lying on the ground and she had looped her habit up over one arm. She was standing on a limb of a tree overlooking the path, reaching up to the next branch. A nursemaid and a young girl were standing nearby, their arms waving frantically as they implored her to be careful. He could see a small grey animal above her head that she was reaching for with care. Aubrey moved circumspectly until he was somewhat under her, just in case he needed to break her fall if the branch gave. He could see her trim ankles and her stockinged feet. Her back arched as she reached above her head, trying to coax the small creature, a kitten mewling piteously as it clung to the branch.

“Please be careful, my lady,” the nursemaid begged. The little girl, a pretty thing with blonde hair and blue eyes still glistening from tears was jumping up and down in excitement.

Lucy had finally got the kitten to release its claws from the branch and was cuddling it close to her, one arm looped around the tree. Aubrey judged that he could speak without startling her.

“Hand it to me and then I will help you down,” he said. Lucy just looked at him, apparently aware that he had been there all along. She reached down with the kitten and placed it in his hand. The kitten immediately latched onto his cuff, digging into the broadcloth with sharp little talons. His valet was not going to be happy when Aubrey returned from this excursion.

Aubrey took the kitten over to the nursemaid who opened the lid of the basket that was lying by her feet.

“Oh, thank you, my lord, and my lady. I don’t know what I would have done, but Mary would bring her pet.” Mary was crouching down by the basket peering in at the kitten. Aubrey bent down next to her, aware that Lucy was still in the tree behind him.

“Well, Mary, Lady Lucilla has rescued your kitten. I think you owe her some thanks.” The little girl stood up and with a careful gravity, curtseyed to both Aubrey and to Lucy, then charmed Aubrey by leaning forward and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

Lucy watched their interaction, pain shooting into her heart and clenching that poor organ in her chest. Aubrey was so kind to the child. The little girl clearly adored him, crediting him for the rescue of her pet even if Lucy had done most of the work. What if, but she shook her head and blinked away the sudden tears.

Aubrey smiled and then turned to Lucy to help her down. She supposed that she could have swung down without too much trouble, but since he was here she would take advantage. There was a guilty part of her that longed to touch him, but she ignored it. He lifted his arms and clasped her waist while she rested her hands on his broad shoulders. The smile left his face as he looked up at her and his eyes grew hot as he stared silently up at her face. Flustered, Lucy pushed off the branch a little too hard and ended up pushed against his chest. He caught her and gradually let her slide down, her breasts rubbing against his hard torso. She caught her gasp by biting her lower lip and something flared in his eyes, fiery and scalding. Lucy realized that, at least for that moment, he still wanted her and a quiver started deep in her belly. His hands were burning at her waist as she hit the ground and he held her steady when she stumbled a bit.

Lucy swallowed and stepped away as his hands fell from her. She bent and slipped on her half boots, then fussed at her riding habit, straightening the dishabille and not meeting his eyes. She glanced over at the maid and young girl, kitten safely ensconced in its basket, but they were walking away, so there was no help there.

“Harriet must be wondering where I have gone. And the horses…” she trailed off as she peeked up at Aubrey. He was smiling at her, the dimple at the corner of his mouth in evidence now. “What is it?” Lucy self-consciously patted at her head, certain that she had unkempt hair or her hat tilted over one ear. That dimple, she thought, that is what had got her into so much trouble years before.

Aubrey reached out and pulled at a glossy curl that had come loose. “I have always loved your hair,” he mused. “So wild and so revealing of your character.” He gave the curl a gentle tug, then carefully tucked it behind her ear.

Lucilla was vexed. What right did he have to judge her or to pretend to know her? He had been gone for five long years, larking about the Continent without a care or concern for her while she had been here enduring trial and heartbreak. She whirled and strode past him, back to where the others and the horses were waiting.

“Wait, Lucy!” Aubrey seized her arm, pulling her back and the force turned her around, back into his arms. “What is the matter? What did I say?”

“Let me go,” she said as she pulled against his grasp and he released her. He wore a puzzled look, as if not sure why her mood had changed so suddenly and truth to tell, she was not sure why either. All at once she was tired. Aubrey knew nothing of her life for the last few years. He had left her without ever saying why he had so suddenly changed his mind about her. Now he was back and pretending as if the last five years had never happened.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked, studying her face for some hint to her mood.

“I do not think of you at all, my lord,” she replied, wanting to lash out. “Now let me go. I need to find Harriet.”

Aubrey’s lips tightened and his face lost all expression. “I will escort you back, my lady.” He placed her hand on his arm, as if they had been casually strolling along the Serpentine.

“You do remember that we are putting on an appearance for Harriet’s sake, do you not?” he drawled just before they reached the small group still chatting away. Lucy stiffened, but made no other sign than a small nod.

“Good,” he said and he led her to the group of people gathered around Harriet and George discussing the wedding. There were a few curious glances, but most ignored her. Two young ladies immediately pounced on Aubrey. Lucy pulled away, stepping back towards Harriet who was standing with George and did not appear to notice her either.

All at once she had had enough. Lucy whirled, turning back to where the groom was patiently waiting, holding onto the reins of the horses.

“My lady,” he stammered as Lucy pulled her reins away. She paused for a moment, trying to decide what to do, but the groom had his hands full and could not help. She could not get into the saddle herself without a block or a leg up. Lucy wanted to stamp her booted foot. She thought about just walking away, leaving behind her the horse, the people laughing and talking, Harriet, George, and above all, Aubrey de Vere.

“Lady Lucilla, is something amiss?” George had noticed her standing by her horse. “Are you in a hurry to go? Harriet has met some old friends but if you are in a rush, I can fetch her away.”

“No, no, it’s… I have a headache, that’s all. I don’t want to disturb Harriet.” Lucy closed her eyes and leaned against the saddle, breathing in the soothing scent of horse and leather.

“I can take you back or I can ask Lovell.” George started to turn, but Lucy whirled and caught his arm before he could go any further.

“No, if you would just give me a leg up, I can return home without bothering anyone.”

“I do not think Harriet would approve of letting you ride home by yourself, a young lady on her own.” George studied her face, startled by the desperation on Lucy’s face. Something there convinced him and he gave a sigh. “Very well, let me give you a leg up. Billy can go with you after he ties off the rest of the horses.”

Lucy squeezed his arm. “Thank you so much, George. I’ll be fine once I reach home. I do appreciate your kindness.”

George humphed and threw her up on her saddle, then said, “Be careful, my lady. Once you reach your townhouse, give Billy the mare and please take care for yourself. I’m sure that Harriet will be in touch later today.”

She nodded and turned the mare, sneaking a look, but Aubrey had his back to her and did not appear to notice that she was leaving. She urged her horse to a trot, closely followed by the groom.

Lucy disregarded the curious stares of the other riders and carriages as she passed through the gates. Her brother’s townhouse was not far. Once she reached it, she did not even wait for poor Billy, but slid down, landing on the street with a jolt. She tossed her reins to the beleaguered groom, called her thanks, and hurried up the steps. She rushed in and slammed the door behind her, then finally relaxed the tenseness in her shoulders. This had been a bad idea to come to London. If only she had known that Aubrey had returned. She would not have come within a hundred miles of the city.

A creamy envelope on the side table in the hallway caught her attention. She picked it up and sighed when she saw the wax imprint for Carlisle. Jamie must have returned. She hoped that he would not continue to press her for marriage. Still, that gave her an idea. James Lennox, Duke of Carlise, was a big man and could provide a suitable shield, at least for the next several days.