Abandon (8 page)

The Maultravers' ball was a crush. George led Harriet into the ballroom, but they were stopped every few moments by someone they knew. Aubrey kept Lucy by his side, never pausing until they reached a cleared spot on the far side of the huge room. He nodded at a few of his friends, but ignored the young ladies who tried to attract his attention as well as their overeager mamas. Lucy meekly walked beside him. She had been quiet ever since they had picked her and Harriet up in the carriage. The two of them had decided to get ready for the ball at Harriet’s home and he had had no chance to speak to her privately. But Aubrey fully intended to find out what the matter was. He did not want her to have doubts or second thoughts now.

He looked over at her, but she was watching the dancers, a small frown on her lips. There were faint dark circles under her eyes, testifying to her lack of sleep the night before.

“Lady Lucilla, how are you this evening?”

She looked startled at his formal address, but attempted a smile. “I am quite fine, my lord. And how are you? I do hope you had a good day as the weather was so fine.”

“Weather, Lucy?” He leaned in and whispered as no one was around that at the moment. “Really? You want to talk about the weather?”

A mulish look came over her face and her eyes flashed fire at him. Better, he thought.

“And what subject would you wish to converse about, Lord Lovell?” There was an edge to her tone, but Aubrey ignored it. Her hand was still on his arm and it was trembling. He covered it with his own and gave it a squeeze, then released it as realized there were hundreds of eyes around them.

“Lucy,” he said in a low tone. “Would you rather forego our assignation this evening?”

She tensed, then looked out over the crowd. “Why, do you have a better offer for tonight?” She held her chin high and her eyes were cool.

Aubrey felt his guts roil. He would not force her if she was truly having doubts. But he needed to be with her, needed to show her all the love that he could not express with the crowds that always seemed to be around them. Lucy would not believe him unless he could show her. Words would not sway her after the way he had abandoned her before. It must be just nerves. Gad, he was nervous himself, had worried all day about the various ways that things could go wrong.

Lucy glanced sideways at him, waiting for him to respond. Spots of color appeared on her cheekbones and she bit her lip.

“Of course not,” he said, trying not to show his frustration. “I was just thinking of you in case...”

“Lovell, my dear, I was not sure that you planned to attend this evening.”

Aubrey stiffened as his mother came up to them. She gave Lucy a hard glance, but ignored her as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. His eyes narrowed in suspicion wondering what she was up to. His mother was normally not affectionate and most certainly not after their last discussion.

“Mother, I did not expect to see you tonight, or any night for that matter. I thought you were staying at your sister’s home.”

Lucy pulled her hand away from his arm and Aubrey wanted to snatch it back, but could not with his mother standing there. There was going to be a scene, he could tell.

“Oh, it was boring there and I had already accepted several engagements in town that I did not want to miss.”

“Mother, you remember Lady Lucilla Blount.” Aubrey watched Lucy give a small curtsy to the older woman and the dowager Lady Lovell gave a brief nod in acknowledgment.

“Lady Lucilla, how is your brother and dear Anne. You must be anxious to return home as Lady Wakefield will be nearing her term, I should think.” Lady Lovell actually reached out and patted Lucy’s shoulder.

“They are well, I thank you. And yes, I am anxious to return to Yorkshire.”

“Dreadful place, so far away. I prefer town much more. But you will excuse me please and let me borrow my son for a moment. The Duke of Clairmont would like to speak to him. He has not had the opportunity since Lovell returned home.”

“Of course, I believe that I see my friend Lady Harriet waving to me over there.” Aubrey looked, but Harriet was merrily dancing with George, her back to Lucy. Before he could say anything Lucy had given another small curtsy and hied off across the room. He turned to his mother, but she took his arm, ready for him to escort her to the corner where the Duke of Clairmont stood with a small crowd around him. Aubrey sighed and led her across the floor, but he tracked Lucy’s dark hair as she walked around the edge of the room.

Lucy found a corner where she could stop and collect herself. She turned to the wall as if studying the plant placed there and put her hands to her hot cheeks and closed her eyes. This was not going to work. She should just go back to Yorkshire now, tonight. She did not know what she had been thinking to make that proposal to Aubrey and then today in Aubrey’s house she had completely lost her wits. How shameless she was. And he did not even appear to care one way or the other. She suspected that if she did just disappear he would find another eager mistress among the widows and light-skirts in town. He had only agreed to her because he found it convenient.

She gathered herself and turned back to the room. Lucy scanned the dancers until she found Harriet and George going through the steps of a country dance. She would tell Harriet that she must return home immediately, an emergency that she could not put off.

Lucy drew in a breath as she saw Aubrey standing across the room with his mother and the Duke of Clairmont. A petite blonde girl was laughing up at him and he smiled down at her, obviously amused by her prattle. The girl was quite beautiful. The Duchess of Clairmont approached and took her husband’s arm and Lucy realized that the girl must be their daughter. She had the look of her mother who had been a diamond of the highest water in her time. Lady Lovell was beaming and Lucy realized that the parents were setting up a match between the younger personages.

Her heart hurt and she brought a hand up to cover where it lay beneath her skin as if that would protect it. It should not matter to her. After all Aubrey needed to marry someone and beget heirs. Why not the daughter of a Duke?

His intentions towards her were clear and again, why not? She had propositioned him after all, so he would take what she would give and then leave once more. What had she been thinking? How foolish of her to think that she would ever be able to cleave Aubrey St Clare from her heart.

Lucy felt tears starting and blinked, not wanting to make a scene. She saw doors leading out to the back gardens. It was not wise for her to go out there alone, but perhaps it would be alright if she stayed near the door.

A waltz started and she saw Aubrey bow to the blonde girl and lead her out to dance. She spun on her heel and headed for the doorway.

The night air was much cooler than the stuffy ballroom. She put her gloved hands to her eyes, pressing against them to stop her tears. It would not do for her to give into despair once more.

“What is this? Has your cavalier deserted you?” Lucy stiffened and lowered her hands. Rathburn stood in front of her, his handsome face disfigured by a smirk as he crowed at her distress.

“I stepped outside for some fresh air. Please leave me alone.”

“I think not. It would not do for me as a gentleman to leave such a sad lady alone. Why, any rogue might accost you.”

“A rogue like you,” Lucy said rudely. She did not care about offending Rathburn, she just wanted him to go away.

He chuckled, amused by her boldness. He had been watching her since she came into the ballroom, waiting for his chance. Rathburn had seen Lady Lovell approach her son and spirit him away. It would seem that she did not approve of the relationship between her son and Lady Lucilla Blount. That was an interesting thought that he tucked away for consideration at future time.

“Lucy, Lucy, that is not the way a lady reacts to an offer of gallantry,” he cooed.

“I did not give you leave to use my name, my lord. And if you will not go away, then I needs must.” She tried to pass by him, but he reached out and took her arm, holding her in place. She looked over his shoulder at the doorway to the ballroom. It would not do for anyone to see her here with him. The scandal last time had been tremendous and another one at this time would ruin Harriet's wedding.

Lucy gritted her teeth. “Let go of me.”

“I think not.” He tapped his chin with one slender finger, contemplating the woman in front of him. She was a rich prize even with her soiled reputation. “Obviously Lovell is not missing you, so who else is going to look for you? And you do not wish to create a fuss, do you? No, I think that perhaps we might stroll further down into the gardens.” He gripped her arm tighter as she tried to pull away.

Lucy drew in a deep breath and stilled. Then she lifted her leg quickly, in the manner that her brother Richard had shown her. Her knee connected with the juncture of Rathburn’s thighs, right where a man was most susceptible. His eyes widened and he released her as he cupped himself where she had injured him.

Lucy hurriedly passed by him and reentered the ballroom. She kept her head down and skirted around the room to the entry. Almost running she left, only stopping to leave a message for Harriet with one of the wigged footmen in the foyer.

“I am not feeling well and must leave. I am taking the carriage but I will send it back for Baron Aversley and his party. Please tell Lady Harriet Everton from Lady Lucilla Blount.” She moved out into the cool night air and found the carriage waiting down the street.

Aubrey was in an abominable mood. It was bad enough that his mother had been at the ball last evening, transparently trying to match make. He had felt that he could not be rude to the Duke of Clairmont and had acceded to her less than subtle machinations. He had even gone so far as to dance with Lady Clarissa, the Duke’s daughter. She was a pretty young thing, a typical English rose, and it was not her fault that he had been trapped into a dance with her. And she had conversed easily with him during their waltz, unlike many young ladies out for their first season. He was sure that she was quite the catch on the marriage mart.

He kept searching for Lucy as he twirled around the room. She had disappeared, at least he could not find her. Harriet and George had danced by, Harriet giving him a frown when she saw him dancing with Lady Clarissa. When the dance ended he had handed her back to her parents with a bow and shrugged off his mother who was trying to keep him in their circle. He stalked the ballroom and had walked out onto the terrace where a few couples strolled back and forth in the light reflected from inside. Not finding Lucy there he had strode back into the ballroom to find Harriet and George.

They were standing to one side, Thornton and Blakesley talking with them. But Lucy was not with them. He scanned the room again, hoping to find her among the dancers, but he could not see her dark hair anywhere.

“Have you seen Lady Lucilla?” he asked the others, breaking into their conversation.

“Lose her, did you?” Aubrey was in no mood for Blakesley’s humor and he gave him an impatient look.

Harriet’s eyebrows went up and she glanced at George who shrugged. “Lady Lucilla went home. She was not feeling well. I thought that you must know already.”

Aubrey felt his neck grow hot. Surely Lucy knew that he could not help the dance with Clarissa. It did not mean anything, he was just appeasing his mother. Then he smiled to himself. Perhaps she was jealous. She should know she had no reason to be, she was the only woman for him, but maybe this was a good thing. Or a bad thing if it gave her an excuse to not be with him. He could not decide.

He noticed the four sets of eyes on him. Harriet was distinctly cool, George looked sheepish, Blakesley was still amused, and Thornton looked thoughtful.

“No, she did not tell me she felt ill. I would gladly have escorted her home if I had known.”

The conversation moved to other subjects and Aubrey impatiently awaited the time when he could take his leave. Finally he could not bear to linger any further and took his leave of his friends. He hailed a hackney and made his way home. Lucy’s house was dark. He walked up the steps to try the door, sure that she would have left it unlocked for him, but it would not budge. He knocked lightly, hoping she would open it for him, but there was no response. He stepped back and looked up at the house as if he might find a magic way inside, but every window was closed tight. He walked around to the side, hoping that the servant door might provide access, but he was foiled again.

Aubrey had his answer. Lucy was angry and now he had to make amends quickly. He trudged to his home and let himself in. A sleepy footman was waiting and he nodded as he ascended the stairs to his bedroom. He undressed himself as he had not acquired a valet since his return. After all, he had been able to dress himself for the last five years so it did not seem to be a critical need. He dropped into the bed, brain racing, wondering what to do about Lucy. This was not the evening that he had planned for them.

In the morning things did not improve. Today was the day that he and George were leaving with the ladies for George’s estate in Kent where the wedding would take place. They would be there for a few days, days that he had hoped to spend with Lucy. The other guests would arrive later for the house party that would culminate in the wedding ball and ceremony. Harriet and Lucy rode inside the carriage with Harriet’s maid while he and George rode outside. Lucy had been pale and composed, polite but withdrawn. Harriet had given him a worried look and he hoped that she would plead his case on the ride to the estate.

The weather was pleasant and George rambled on, talking about estate matters and the wedding plans. Aubrey answered when necessary, but brooded as he watched the coach travel along the road. It only took a few hours to reach George’s estate, a neat Georgian manor of red brick with black shutters. The park was not spacious, but the estate was well laid out.

Harriet and Lucy had stepped down from the carriage and entered the house while he and George were dismounting and handing their horses over to the grooms. By the time they had entered the house Lucy was already ascending the stairs following a maid while Harriet waited in the hallway wringing her hands.

“Lucy is going to lie down before dinner as she has a headache from the coach ride.”

Aubrey watched as Lucy disappeared from his sight and sighed. “Were you able to speak to her during the ride at all?”

“No, she kept her eyes closed and rested due to the headache, she said. I’m sorry Aubrey, but she does not seem angry, just tired perhaps.”

He nodded. “Thank you.” He changed subjects, wanting to think about this later when he was alone. “George, do you have plans now for me. I am here to serve you this week, you know.”

George laughed. “Let me show you to your room. I intend to get myself cleaned up after our ride and I suggest you do the same. There is nothing pressing at this point. My lady has everything in hand.”

Harriet smiled. “I’m glad that you think so, but I agree that we should retire to our rooms and our toilettes. We can meet again before dinner.” She took George’s arm and they ascended the stairs.

Aubrey followed, wondering if Harriet would discreetly indicate which room Lucy was in when they reached the upper hallway. The house was not overly large, but would accommodate the wedding guests, at least those coming for the house party. Many others would stay in neighboring houses or inns just for the night of the ball and the wedding breakfast. But apparently he was not in her good graces enough that she would give him an inkling of where Lucy was housed. He did not think George would cross her either. The dowager Lady Aversley was arriving shortly to chaperone and to oversee the festivities, at least as much as George was allowing her to do so. Lady Aversley and Harriet maintained a cool facade with each other and the next few days might be tense unless the ladies reached a compromise.

When the dinner gong sounded Aubrey was already waiting in the drawing room. George’s mother and sister were already seated there as well as George and Harriet. But Lucy had not appeared as yet.

“Is Lady Lucilla planning to attend dinner?” he asked when there was a pause in the conversation.

“No, she decided to take a tray in her room this evening. I expect that she will be feeling better in the morning.”

“Young ladies today suffer too much from weak constitutions,” Lady Aversley contributed her part to the conversation. Her daughter Charlotte rolled her eyes behind her, but George took his mother’s arm to lead her into the dining room before anyone had time to disagree with the matriarch.

“Yes, yes, mama. Shall we go in to eat now?” He nodded behind her head to Aubrey who took both Charlotte and Harriet by the arm to follow.

Breakfast the next morning was no better. Lucy did not appear and then Aubrey left to ride the estate with George. He was starting to feel quite desperate and he did not like it. How was he going to win Lucy over if he could not meet with her, talk to her and cajole her?

They stopped in the nearby village for lunch and Aubrey almost confided in George. But the man was so delighted about his upcoming nuptials that Aubrey did not want to say or do anything that might burst his bubble.

Aubrey’s luck changed when they returned in the afternoon. The ladies were in the drawing room, Harriet and Charlotte chattering away and making plans while Lady Aversley looked on in silence. A truce between mother and future daughter-in-law appeared to have been drawn up for the duration of the week. Lucy was also there with a paper and quill, recording lists as the ladies spoke, crossing lines out again as one or the other decided not to pursue an idea. She looked up, her face solemn, as the men walked into the room still dusty from their ride.

While George greeted the others, Aubrey crossed to Lucy.

“I am glad to see you have recovered. I hope you are feeling much better today.”

She gave him a small smile. “Yes, thank you, much better. And how was your ride? This is a pleasant area, is it not?”

He searched her face, but it was inscrutable. She was dealing in pleasantries while he wanted to whisk her away and kiss her until she yielded with a true response.

Harriet called to her and she turned away to respond. Aubrey clenched his fists in frustration, but stood waiting, hoping for an opportunity for further speech.

“And what are you ladies up to this afternoon?” George was full of bonhomie, pleased that his mother had finally decided to make peace with his intended.

Harriet responded, “I would like a walk in the gardens. We have been cooped up in here with our tasks and it is such a pleasant day. I do believe that all is finally in order so we are due for some leisure.”

“Let us clean the dust from the road off of ourselves and then we will be at your service.” George nodded at Aubrey who hesitated, but Lucy seemed to concede to the proposed activity, so he followed him to change his jacket and wash up.

The group of young people met in the hallway, Lady Aversley having decided to retire to her room for a rest. George escorted Harriet and Charlotte who were now the best of friends so Aubrey offered his arm to Lucy. She took it readily enough and they followed the others outside.

George’s gardens were not expansive, but there were paths that led into a pretty wooded area and around a small pond. When some distance had opened between them and the group ahead of them Aubrey decided that now was the time to speak.

“Lucy, are you unhappy with me for some reason? Have I done something to offend you?”

She took a breath and gave him a small smile. “I am sorry if I have given you that impression. I certainly did not mean to. Perhaps you should write it off to a woman’s vagaries.”

He studied her face, but it remained placid, not a hint of any inner turmoil. She suffered his scrutiny and then tugged at his arm. “We should catch up with the others.”