Abandon (9 page)

Lucy had got ready for bed and was standing by the window waiting for Aubrey. He had not said anything specific, but she knew he was coming to her this night. He had walked her up the stairs to her room when everyone was retiring and he knew that her room was down three doors from his. He was definitely coming to her tonight.

He had been solicitous all during dinner and after when they had withdrawn to the sitting room. They had played cards and he had made his intentions known by light touches and knowing looks. She supposed that if she chose she could turn the lock and keep him out, but she had finally made her decision last night as she tossed and turned in her bed.

She loved him, had always loved him, and would love him for the rest of her life. Lucy had finally made her peace with that late the night before. She had felt so many emotions in the last few days: anger, jealousy, despair, and finally acceptance. And if he wanted her, even for a short time, she would acquiesce, at least until the wedding was over and her deadline was met. Then she would return home where she would have her memories to hold her for the rest of her life.

It was clear to her that Aubrey was trying to make reparations for abandoning her five years earlier. Their relationship had been left in limbo and he needed to bring it to a satisfactory conclusion for his own peace of mind. Then he could move on with his life, find a woman, Lady Clarissa or whomever he chose to marry and start a family with. And Lucy would go back to her own life.

The door opened behind her, but Lucy stayed where she was. It was a warm night and she had opened the window to let in the breeze. It wafted past her and lifted a curl across her breast, then ruffled the lace on her nightgown.

Aubrey moved across the room and stood behind her, not touching, but she could feel the heat of his body. Then he placed his hands on her waist and drew her back against him. The smell of Aubrey, once so familiar, surrounded her and she sighed and lifted a hand up to caress his neck as he leaned his head forward against her curls.

“Lucy,” he breathed against her ear. She smiled and waited.

“Oh, Lucy.” Aubrey pulled her tighter against him. She could feel him hard against her buttocks and a shiver ran down her spine. She turned in his arms and reached up to pull his head down to her. His lips came down hard on hers and she reveled in their touch. She felt a moan break free from the pit of her stomach and her mouth opened, tongue intertwining with his. Aubrey placed his hands on either side of her face, holding her firmly in his grasp while he drew in her sweetness. He tasted faintly of tooth powder and Lucy bit at his lower lip, then soothed the spot with her tongue.

He was wearing his robe but he was naked beneath it. She confirmed this as her hands pushed the edges of the robe aside. She ran her hands over his chest. Aubrey was lean and wiry, not muscular at all, with a small trail of brown hair that ran down to his groin. Lucy ran her tongue over one flat brown nipple and he hissed and pushed his cock into her stomach.

He reached down and gathered the material of her nightgown, pulling it up and over her head. Her arm caught in one sleeve and he carefully helped her to free it, his eyes dark in the dim candlelight of the bedroom. Lucy’s nightgown drifted to the floor and she stepped away, intent on reaching the bed. Aubrey reached out and stopped her.

“Wait. I want to look at you. I want to remember this moment. I will paint it so we have it forever.”

Lucy blushed, but stood obediently as Aubrey gazed at her from the tip of her toes to the top of her disheveled hair.

“You are so beautiful.” He dropped his robe and now it was Lucy’s turn to look her full. He was fully erect and she thought back to when she had last seen him thus. They had both been younger and though she still looked good, her figure had aged from a girl to a woman with fuller breasts and hips. Likewise, he was broader across the chest and his skin was darker, showing that he had stayed out in the sun without a shirt during his time in Italy.

He scooped her up and she laughed as he carried her to the bed.

“I do believe that this is the first time we have actually used a bed.” It was true. Five years ago their lovemaking had taken place out-of-doors on a blanket where they had been picnicking. They had made love twice after Aubrey had proposed marriage, the first time carefully and awkwardly, the next time eagerly, secure in their feelings for the other. Then he was gone the next day, but Lucy pushed that thought out of her mind. He was here for now.

Aubrey lay down next to her and gathered her to him. He started kissing her again, their bodies pressed against each other. Aubrey pushed closer, insinuating a leg between hers and she hooked her top leg over his hip. That put him just where she needed him, well, almost where she needed him.

He was kissing his way down her neck now, a small nip where her pulse was beating hard at the base of her neck. Lucy ran her hand through his hair, tugging to bring him back to her mouth. But he had other plans. He plumped her breasts together and looked up to her, the smirk on his face telling her that he had not forgotten how sensitive she was there. She held her breathe and Aubrey tipped his face down and swirled a hot tongue across one nipple. Lucy twitched and he started suckling hard, then moved to the other breast and did the same.

Lucy’s hips were undulating. She was ready for him, but when he touched her at her core, they both gasped and stilled. Aubrey moved further down the bed, a wet trail from his tongue painting the way. A long slender finger entered her and his mouth came down on her at the same moment, sending her over the edge until all she saw was stars swirling everywhere. Aubrey pushed back up the bed and took her mouth again to quiet the moans and other sounds coming from her. When she had subsided he lifted his head and chuckled.

“My love, I thought I would never hear those sweet sounds coming from your lips again.”

Lucy pushed at his chest, embarrassed at his teasing. His face turned serious and he bent to touch his lips gently to hers. She sighed and kissed him back. He pushed her curls back where they strayed across one cheek and cupped her face, balancing on his elbows. His eyes were gentle with a look that she recognized from years before, but no longer believed. Lucy put that thought away and lifted her hips, anxious to move on, to have him fill her where she was aching.

“I need you,” she whispered. “Please.”

Aubrey lined up with her entrance and slowly, slowly pushed inside her. She was tight and it was slightly uncomfortable at first. When he had fully seated himself he stopped and waited, eyes closed while he regained control of himself. When he opened his eyes Lucy nodded at him and raised her hips, encouraging him to move. He began to stroke in and out, and she responded to his rhythm, awkward at first but then her body remembered and they moved in tandem. He took her higher and she moaned, head back as her body arched in reaction when she went over the edge again. Aubrey let out a groan and followed, hot spurts filling her, and then he collapsed on top of her.

He was breathing hard, but he wheezed out “Sorry, I’ll move in a moment” as he made an abortive movement to roll onto his side. Lucy clasped him tighter, her own breathing harsh and restricted from his weight on her, but not wanting to let go of him.

Finally their breathing slowed and Aubrey rolled over on one side, but he turned Lucy so that her back cuddled into his chest, holding her tight against him. He buried his nose into her neck, burrowing through the wild chestnut curls.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she answered sleepily. “What about you?”

“All is finally right in my world.”

Lucy nodded as she drifted off to sleep.

When Lucy finally woke Aubrey was gone. They had made love twice more during the night and she was slow to awaken. She had vaguely known that he had left her earlier, kissing her goodbye when he gone back to his own room before the servants were up.

She stretched and a twinge of soreness reminded her of the night’s activities. She smiled, not minding the aches at all. The past night had been the happiest of her life and Lucy would not regret a minute of it. If anything the slight twinges reminded her of her joy at the night past. She refused to think of the future. She would live for what she could get in these next few days.

She bounded out of bed and washed and dressed in a hurry. She hoped that she could catch Aubrey at breakfast, not for any particular reason except that she wanted to see him. Lucy felt like the seventeen year old girl she had once been.

She entered the breakfast room at a rush, stopping to greet Harriet and Charlotte. Lady Aversley took her breakfast on a tray in her room usually, but Lucy expected to see the men at the table. She felt her stomach drop just a little at their absence and some of her happiness leeched away. She fixed herself a plate from the buffet and sat next to Harriet. Once Harriet spoke, her happiness disappeared completely.

“Good morning. I trust you slept well.” Lucy nodded, her mouth full of coddled eggs, her active night contributing to her hunger this morning. “The house party guests arrive today, so I hope you are ready for your new roommate.

She swallowed and frowned, confused by what Harriet had said.

Harriet laughed. “I knew you would forget. What with all the people coming I am to share your room until the wedding.” She blushed, apparently thinking about whose room she would be sharing after the wedding and Charlotte giggled. Harriet sent her a reproving look and continued, “Everyone will need to share rooms for the most part. I have put Blakesley in with Lovell. Charlotte will share with Aunt Lavinia.” Charlotte pouted, not pleased with that arrangement. “Just think, Lucy, it will be so much fun, the two of us trading secrets and gossip.”

Lucy forced a smile. “Of course, I had forgotten, but it will be nice to be together for this while.”

“This way Blake can easily do for both of us.” Blake was Harriet’s maid. Lucy was used to doing without a maid, but she nodded and took another bite of eggs, her mind racing. Sharing bedrooms would make it impossible for her to be with Aubrey again. She had thought that she would have until the wedding to be with him, but that hope had disappeared with Harriet’s words. There would be no more nights making love in her bed.

“Where are the men off to this morning?” Lucy asked casually, maybe too casually as Harriet gave her a sharp look.

“They went out for a ride,” Charlotte answered first. “I think they wanted some time to themselves before all the guests get here.”

Planning for the house party diverted Harriet again. She was fretting about the meals and planned activities. Lady Aversley had allowed Harriet to do the bulk of the arrangements for the party, conceding that as the future Lady Aversley it would soon be her duty and she must learn to act as hostess. But the dowager kept a sharp eye on the preparations and Harriet fretted about her future mother-in-law’s oversight.

Lucy slumped as she ate her breakfast. With the house party guests about and Harriet in her bed, there was no way to meet with Aubrey again. Her affair was over before it had barely started. She regretted not taking advantage of her time in London better, but perhaps it was for the best. Her poor heart was not going to recover easily from this affair and she did not have the leisure to collapse into her bed now as she had done the first time.

“Are you done with your breakfast?” Harriet inquired. “I don’t mean to hurry you, but the morning will fly by and people will start to arrive after lunch.” Charlotte rolled her eyes at Lucy behind Harriet’s shoulder, but both women arose from the table and followed Harriet down to the sitting room that she had made her own for organizing the party.

Every day Harriet was becoming more comfortable with her upcoming position as Baroness of the estate. She was the daughter of an Earl after all, even if her father had been a dissolute roué. He had ignored his daughter as she grew up, leaving her with her governess who ensured that Harriet knew how to run a household and be fit for the role she would one day assume. So even though she had everything planned down to the last detail, Harriet would leave nothing to chance. It was up to Lucy and Charlotte to ensure that all of her wishes were carried out as she had planned.

Aubrey had spent most of his ride with George looking for a folly or gazebo where he could meet with Lucy. George had mentioned that Blakesley was arriving with the other guests today and Aubrey would henceforth be sharing his room with him. This was not unusual at a house party, especially for just a few nights, but Blakesley was a gossip and his discretion could not be trusted if Aubrey was not in his bed at any point during the night. While he did not have to sleep with Lucy, although he was half-aroused at the thought, he did need to be able to spend time with her. He was n0t sure when she intended to return to Yorkshire. If he could persuade her to remain in London after the wedding, he would be more relaxed about the next few days. Even better if he could persuade her to wed, he would procure a special license immediately.

However, if she planned to leave after the wedding, it was critical that he be able to spend more time with her now. Aubrey would follow her to Yorkshire, of course, but he could not depend on being able to see her frequently there unless he made sure of her during the next few days. Aubrey thought that he had made good gains last night and his body tensed at the thought of some of those efforts. Making love to Lucy had been all that he remembered and more.

They returned to the house and Aubrey still had not found a place to tryst. Maybe Lucy had an idea if he could even get her alone long enough to ask. The house party and the wedding plans were interfering with his personal plans to seduce Lucy into marriage. George and Aubrey walked into the front hallway where Harriet was directing servants to take luggage away and greeting early guests. The house party would be a small group meant to distract and entertain the bridal couple for the few days before the wedding. The larger group of guests would arrive in two days for the wedding ball, and the wedding ceremony and breakfast the following morning. Many would stay in various inns and estates in the surrounding area. Thornton, for example, would arrive with a party who were staying with him at his nearby house.

George went to his fiancée and Aubrey walked into the drawing room where he found Lucy and Charlotte sitting at a table with papers spread out in front of them. The women looked up and Charlotte greeted him amicably. Lucy merely looked her brown eyes wide and cheeks pink as she bit her lip. She looked so unsure. Aubrey wished that he could go to her and show her exactly how free from any doubt she should be. Instead he joined them at the table, pulling his chair just a little closer to Lucy. Under the table he nudged her leg with his own and she smiled shyly while he pretended to pay heed to Charlotte explaining about some elaborate entertainment she had planned for the evening.

Lucy slipped her hands into her lap as Charlotte pointed at her papers and made notes. Aubrey discreetly hooked his little finger with hers and Lucy’s smile grew bigger which made him grin in turn.

Charlotte broke off her talking and looked with suspicion at him, so he straightened in his chair and tried to behave.

“Please go on, Lady Charlotte. It sounds fascinating.” Aubrey nodded his head and Lucy suppressed a giggle.

Charlotte narrowed her eyes, not at all reassured.  She finally continued explaining the various games she was planning. Aubrey nodded at appropriate moments, but continued to steal glances at Lucy. He frequently caught her looking back and he felt his heart expand. He wanted to declare himself right there, go down on one knee and make her his own. Lawd, he sounded like an imbecile, but he had longed for Lucy for so long. He had to wait just a little while longer.

There was a clatter in the hallway and they all looked towards the doorway. The women both stood and started for the entrance, but Aubrey decided to stay where he was. Maybe Lucy would return and he could talk to her without anyone else around.

Instead he heard the rumble of a male voice and Blakesley walked in the door.

“Lady Harriet said that you might be in here.” As he came closer he lowered his voice. “Dying of ennui yet?”

“Not at all. The company so far has been amusing and the country tranquil.” Aubrey took Blakesley’s hand and they shook. “How are you doing, Harry?”

“Truth to tell I am bored, Lovell. I am ready to retire to my own estate just to get away from town for a while. I am glad the season is winding down. I am tired of avoiding the young ladies and their mothers, tired of the routs and balls. I am even tired of the hells and clubs.” Blakesley sat elegantly and adjusted the cuffs on his jacket. “I am in a proper snit,” he huffed.

One eyebrow went up but Aubrey didn’t respond. Harry Wilton, Lord Blakesley, was a man-about-town and he doubted that Blakesley would stay in this mood for long. A few days at home with his meddling mother and rambunctious siblings would send him hurrying back to town quickly.

Blakesley sat back and studied Aubrey. This was not good. A bored Blakesley caused trouble.

“Got slapped again lately?” he drawled.

“Why no, I have not.” Aubrey’s eyes flashed a warning which Blakesley ignored.

“I saw the lovely Lady Lucilla fluttering behind Lady Harriet in the hallway. So, you have mended your differences, have you?”

Aubrey snorted; Lucy had never fluttered a day in her life. “We have resolved our differences,” was all he would say.

“She is quite pretty in a rural sort of way, her hair all blowsy like a milkmaid.” Blakesley tapped a finger against his lips, waiting for Aubrey to respond. But Aubrey kept his face still, not betraying by a movement that his temper was on the rise. One never wanted to give Blakesley an opening. Yes, he was a friend, but he did like to rattle the cages.

Blakesley nodded. “Well perhaps I will find some amusement here after all.”