A Seal Upon Your Heart (45 page)

“Damn. Well I know that you will take care with her.”

“I’ll be back directly,” She closed the door behind her and joined Lindewe who jumped to her feet quickly.

Martier grabbed her coffee and smiled at the nervous young girl. She promised herself that she would make Lindewe’s transition into the ‘world’ much easier than it had been for her.

~***~

Martier led Lindewe to the canteen when it was time for lunch. She didn’t see Lois or Diana but did see a young woman that she liked. She was the assistant to Justin Miyoshi who worked nearly exclusively with Asian clients in all matters from criminal law to personal injury and estate.

“Mr. Miyoshi allowed you to leave the work area? That man knows how to keep you busy.” Martier said as she and Lindewe sat down.

Amber looked up and smiled. “I know, right?” She closed her electronic tablet and looked at the shy girl next to Martier. “Who do we have here?”

Martier did the introductions and then they began eating their sandwiches which Martier had purchased. She didn’t want Lindewe to have to use any of her money until she had at least received her first check.

It took a few minutes but the younger girl soon warmed up and began talking about the clerical pool and how fast everyone typed. With a shy smile she boasted that she was one of the fastest.

Two secretaries joined them and Lindewe warmed up to them quickly. Martier smiled to herself. Someone should have been there to do this for her. She would need to talk to Sister Louise about starting a mentor program for the young girls. There was no reason they should wait until they were 18. She thought about the logistics of mentoring several young girls and it excited her.

Lunch ended too soon and Lindewe had to return to work. Martier offered to take her out to dinner so that they could discuss her first day ‘in the real world.’ Lindewe gave her a quick hug and then happily returned to her duties.

Tim was actually happy to stay at work. He cautioned that he might be in the office until very late and told her to take the car and he’d take a cab home. She bit back her retort concerning the second car and simply nodded.

Martier and Lindewe had dinner at the same pub that she and Dhakiya had dined after her first day working and the younger girl jabbered away excitedly about work and a friend that she had made. She glanced shyly at her hands. “The men are very handsome.” She looked at Martier quickly. “Their all so rich!”

Martier smiled. “Not really. People spend a lot of time on appearance.”

Lindewe chewed her lip lightly. “How am I ever going to be able to afford it all? Sister Callista let me move in last night so that I wouldn’t be too tired for work and she said that I can stay with her until I get on my feet. She’s really nice—not like living with a nun at all.” She leaned in close to Martier. “She listens to real radio and watches movies with—you know…sex. She gave me my own room and she doesn’t come barging in to see what I’m doing! I love her!”

Martier laughed. “I love Callista too. She is wonderful. I roomed with her at Bartholoma and she never invaded my privacy.”

“She talks about you a lot. She says that you are a success story.”

Martier smoothed her napkin and opened and then closed her lips. “I’ll have to call Callista. I miss her. The money situation is daunting, I know. But you have people who will help you and before you know it, you will be independent.”

“That will be great Martier. Thank you for everything. I was really afraid…”                         

She gripped the girl’s hand.

~***~

Martier hummed softly as she dusted Tim’s home office the following Saturday. He’d been working tireless trying to get all of his loose ends tied before they flew out to Hawaii next week. Martier decided that she didn’t want to spend Christmas here after-all. In actuality she kept picturing herself returning to the convent to drop off presents to everyone and it nearly caused her stomach to turn. So she decided that she would have everything shipped while she sipped Mai Tai’s on the beach.

Tim leaned back in his chair and watched her as she moved about the room. He marveled at how she could become more gorgeous each time he saw her. For instance when she dressed in her office finery she seemed sophisticated and worldly and he would have to suppress all desires to back her into an empty office and mindlessly fuck her.

But then on days like this; when she cleaned the main house dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with her long hair pulled back into a cute ponytail he thought that she looked carefree and fresh and it caused his heart to ache that she could be so damn perfect. He would fantasize about stripping her slowly out of her jeans and eating her right where she stood—generally while she still held a dust rag or a container of window cleaner.

She saw him looking and then gave him a quick smile. “I won’t be long in here-”

“I like this kind of distraction. Now if only you would wear a cute little maid uniform and dust in high heels—”

“Okay…no.” She said with a smirk.

He grinned and turned his attention back to his work. A moment later he looked up and cocked his head. “Did you get your period yet?”

Martier’s lip twisted and a frown crossed her brow. “No, but it’s only a day late. I’ll probably get it this evening or tomorrow.”

When he didn’t respond she looked over at him. His face was filled with tension but then his brow smoothed and he returned his attention back to his computer.

~***~

Martier and Lindewe were eating in the canteen Monday. It was cold and nasty outside and she couldn’t wait until Friday when she and Tim would fly to Hawaii.

“I hear we’re going to get snow.” Lindewe said.

“Ugh. I hope its after I’m in Hawaii.”

“Remember when we were kids and we used to love snow? We’d pull on boots and the sisters let us go out in pajamas for the first snow fall.”

Martier smiled. “Yes. Sometimes they would come out and play with us.” She had nearly forgotten about that. The nun’s with cheeks as rosy as the children as they made snowballs and tossed them playfully at each other. She had to remember that just as she was a child being raised in a convent, the nuns also experienced everything along with them as the convent was home to many of them as well.

Lindewe put down her sandwich. Her eyes were bright when she regarded Martier. “You are so lucky; a trip to Hawaii for two weeks with your gorgeous boyfriend. Martier…” She shyly bit her lip. “I want to be just like you!” She bounced in her seat. “I changed my name at personnel. I’m going by the name Linda—everyone calls me that anyways. Also, I want to get my hair done. I want a long weave—with waves like yours. A black lady that I work with has one and she told me where I can get my hair done.”

A wave of expressions moved across Martier’s face. “Okay.”

“It’s going to cost me two hundred dollars.” She leaned forward. “Do you think you can loan it to me?”

“Of course.”

“I want to change my style. I don’t like looking like I’m a kid straight out of a convent. I want to dress like you and the other assistants.”

Martier sipped her iced tea. “You’ll have to work to get out of the secretarial pool. I know you can do it, sis. You’re fast, smart and if its what you want then its what you’ll get. I’ll bring you over to my house tonight and we’ll go through some clothes that might fit you. You’re not as tall as I am and some clothes that I got from Tim’s wife will fit you much better than they ever fit me.”

“Really?” Linda asked with excitement.

Martier smiled but it was troubled. “Yes of course.” The younger girl squealed and hugged her.

“I love you!”

Martier smiled. “I love you, too, Lindew—Linda.”

~***~

Martier called Dhakiya that night after Linda had left her place. The girl had opted to take a cab so that she could get her hair done later that evening. She stated that she would not go back to work one more day looking like an ‘African’.

“Dhakiya! I think I’m messing this up!”

“Sis, what are you talking about?”

“I suck at being a mentor.”

Dhakiya chuckled. “Already? You’ve only been doing it a week. Give it some time. What’s the problem?”

She explained about Linda’s change of name and the weave and wanting to change her style of dress.

“Uh…didn’t you do all of that when you first started working there?”

Martier chewed her lip. “But…I don’t know…” It felt as if Linda was losing herself in trying to fit in and maybe that is what had happened to her as well. Had she lost herself? And it wasn’t just that. Everything was just so confusing right now. It seemed that so much of the joy had left her and she wasn’t sure how to get it back. And now there was this thing hanging over her head with her missed period and the way that Tim was reacting to it.

“What’s really going on? Changing her name back to Linda was just good taste and who wants to dress in clothes from the church’s donation bin? So what’s really on your mind sis?”

“Well she said she wants to be like me!” Martier blurted out.

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“I…”

“Sis?”

“I didn’t get my period.” There was quiet on the other end of the line.

“Martier…” Dhakiya finally whispered.

“I know sis. This is bad.”

“Oh my god. Martier this is not where your life is supposed to be going! Honey, you are basically waiting for this man to ‘get it’. But he’s not going to ever do that because he is content just the way things are.”

“I know, Dhakiya.”

“Shit! Shit, Martier. What does Tim think?”

“We haven’t talked about it. But I know he doesn’t like it. I mean, he keeps asking me if I got my period and I want to snap at him that this is not
my
fault.”

“Martier you’re going to have to discuss this with him; and not just your missed period but the future, your wants and needs. Because honestly, he is being selfish. I’m sorry but I feel that he is not considering
your
best interest, and is only fulfilling his own desires.”

“But I love Tim so much.” Tears sprouted in her eyes. “I don’t have any other choice but to love him in this way. I mean, it’s too late for me to step back. It’s easy for someone that is on the outside to think that I should do ‘this, this and that’. But I’m living it and I can promise you that its not that easy. I can’t make him say, ‘I want to get married.’ If I make him say it, or…or…” She was sobbing by this time. “Or if I force his hand, then I’ll always wonder if it was for the wrong reason.”

“Sweetheart, all I’m saying is that as much as you might not want to hear this—maybe the sisters were right. Maybe the world is filled with similar situations; a girl opening up for a man because she has claimed that man for her own before he has ever done the same. Every single mother out there has probably had the same thought, Martier—that they will live happily ever after with the man that is filling her belly with his seed. I appreciate the fact that you love Tim. He loves you too, I see it in his eyes. But you’re waiting for more and he doesn’t need more.

“Martier, I’m not trying to make you cry,” She said when all she heard were quiet sobs on the other end of the line. “But you have to tell him to set you as a seal upon his heart! You deserve that, sis! You deserve him to make it known that he is in love with you to everyone—including God.”

Martier swallowed back her tears. “Yes.”

“
Nda gukunda
.” Dhakiya said.