A Passionate Discovery (Self-Discovery Series) (5 page)

"I
think with Jason, those ten nights will change everything you thought you knew
about your sensuality and leave you longing for more." 

"Well
I'm guessing since I've never really thought I had a sexual side it won't be
hard for that to change." Laughing at herself seemed to make it easier to
fight back the nervous tension brought on by what she was considering doing.

They finally
made it home, where they talked until just before dawn about things Carla had
never before considered. By the time she finally fell asleep her mind was a confused
mix of fear and anticipation. There was one thing she was certain of; she was
going to agree to share ten nights with Jason.

CHAPTER THREE

Carla and Scarlett
slept late, and then resumed their conversation over coffee. Some of the things
Scarlett talked about both surprised and impressed Carla, who had only seen the
physical part of the lifestyle in the dungeon.

As Scarlett
explained the other part of the lifestyle, she discovered that entering into a
relationship in the lifestyle involved a lot of discussion and working out of
details. They spent an hour going over the contract Scarlett had with Daniel.

"So
everything you're willing to do is written down?"  That seemed cold and
calculating compared to the passion of what she'd witnessed the night before.

"No, honey,
it's more like a list of things you're willing to try, and things you won't
even consider. The Top, or Dom, that's the one in control, he uses the contract
as a guideline so he doesn't do something that would leave you completely
unwilling to submit to him again." Taking a sip of her coffee Scarlett
watched her friend's face to see if she understood everything. She felt like
she was talking to a child about sex and found it hard not to smile at some of Carla's
reactions.

"Okay,
but I don't really know what any of this stuff is, so how would I tell him what
I'm not willing to do?" For the first time in her life Carla wished she
had even a small amount of the experience that Scarlett had, at least then she
would have some idea about the things that were being described to her.

"Well
you can ask me about anything on this list, but in all honestly it would be
better to discuss these things with Jason. Every master has their own way of
doing things; he can explain his to you." Scarlett hesitated for a moment
and then said what was on her mind. "I've got to be honest, hon; I think
it would be better for you to experience plain sex before you think about doing
this."

"That's
the thing, Scarlett, I've never really been interested in just sleeping with a man,
or a woman for that matter," she confessed in a whisper, not wanting
anyone to hear her, even though there was no-one around to do so. Her cheeks
flushed a bright cherry red. "What I saw last night, well it excited me
for the first time in my life." She wondered what that said about her own
mentality, and laughed.

"What?"
Scarlett wasn't sure what was funny.

"I
was just thinking, a psychiatrist would have a field day over this, a virgin
wanting to jump straight into leather and whips."

Scarlett
shook her head and giggled. "Well you waited so long to have sex, maybe
subconsciously you think being tied up and fucked is easier than the normal
fumbling around in the dark that most of us did as teenagers?"

Carla took
a sip of her lukewarm coffee and nodded as she analyzed her friend's words.
"Maybe." The thought of what she was planning on doing that night
really hit her then and she felt her stomach clench.  "He won't hurt me,
will he?" She lifted her eyes to Scarlett's, suddenly overcome by a fear
she didn't understand.

Putting
her hand over Carla's, Scarlett met her gaze. "Not if he wants to
live." She smiled to put her friend at ease. "Jason won't take any of
this further than you are willing to go. If you tell him to stop, it will end
immediately, and without hard feelings." If she didn't know that for
certain she wouldn’t even consider letting her friend take up Jason's offer.
"Sweetie this is all about trust; before you agree to anything you need to
be sure you trust Jason, if you don't think you can do that then don't go
through with it."

Letting
out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Carla felt a little
calmer. "So what's going to happen tonight?" If they had to negotiate
things, as Scarlett had told her earlier, she wondered if that meant the ten
nights wouldn't start until another time.

"If I
know Jason like I think I do, you guys will sit down and go over things for
hours. After you've come to an agreement, or if you decide to walk out the door
and say no thank you, you'll move on from there." She remembered well her
first negotiation with Daniel. After their long debates about what she was
willing to do, and what she wasn't, she had felt as if she'd bared her soul. 

It was
likely to be worse for Carla she realized; at least she had known what she was
willing to do in the bedroom when she started her negotiations. She couldn't
imagine what it would be like to go into things as a complete innocent.

Though she
was a little disappointed that all they were going to do that night was talk,
when she wanted so much to touch Jason, Carla was also relieved. She felt her
nerves dissipate a little at the thought that she would find out more of what
was going to happen, rather than just jumping in with things.

"You've
got it bad, girl." Scarlett laughed softly, shaking her head at the same
time. It was definitely something, to see her friend, who was normally in such
control of herself, so overwhelmed. "Why don't we go shopping and treat
ourselves to a girl's day out? It’s on me."

"That
sounds like fun; we need to talk about what we're going to do next month
too." They had to be out of the dorms in thirty days, and the job Carla
had at the supply store on campus would be ending at the same time. The job
didn't pay much, but it was her only source of income, and her nerves were
strung tight as she thought about the future.

"Well
daddy has made our decision easier." She rolled her eyes at the thought of
the condo she'd found the papers for in her mail slot that morning.  "With
all our talk about Jason, I haven't showed you something." Walking over to
her purse she pulled out the papers and handed them to Carla with a shake of
her head.

"He
bought you a condo!" Carla gasped as she looked at the contract and
wondered why her friend wasn't happier about it. "Hell, Scarlett, I've
been worried sick about finding a place; you should be jumping up and down for
joy." She had never understood her friend's aversion to having her father
cater to her every need. She knew they didn't have a real father/daughter
relationship, but she would have been ecstatic to not have to worry about
money.

"Why
were you worried?" Scarlett shook her head again. "You know I'd never
leave you stranded, you're my best friend!"

"You
can't take care of me forever, Scarlett, and it doesn't feel right mooching off
you like this." She loved her friend, but taking her charity was against
everything she believed in.

"Damn
it, Carla, what the hell would I do without you? You've always taken care of
me, this shit," she picked up the paper and waved it dismissively,
"doesn't mean half as much as your friendship does, don't you get it?"

"You
don't ever have to worry about me not being here for you, Scarlett, but sooner
or later I have to be able to stand on my own two feet." Crossing to her
friend she leaned down to hug her.

Scarlett
hugged her back, pouring her heart into their embrace.  Carla was the one
person in her life that loved her for who she was, not for her money or her
body. She had no idea how her friend managed to maintain a 4.0 grade point
average while working a crappy job to pay her bills. "I can't stand the
thought of us not living together, Carla, you're my rock." 

She pulled
out of her friend’s arms and blinked back tears. They had leaned on each other
so much over the last four years that she considered Scarlett family. Scarlett
had never had to fend for herself before the two of them met, having been
looked after by her family's servants, and it had just seemed natural for Carla
to take over looking after her when they met.

Scarlett
had opened her eyes to a life she would have never known, and Carla had become
like an older sister, doing all the things Scarlett didn't know how to do.
"Love you, Scarlett." She smiled as she stood up.

"Love
you too, Carla. Now let's go shopping and get you ready to meet Mr. Hunk
tonight!" She winked and grabbed her purse.

Carla
grabbed her own purse and followed her friend out the door, thanking whatever
fates had brought them together.

As they
reached the car Scarlett waved her father's gold credit card in the air.
"Let's go blow some of Daddy's money." She had no issues spending his
money when she wanted to, feeling it was her right since he couldn't even spare
the time to show up for her college graduation. 

They spent
the next four hours shopping and pampering themselves. Once they finished in
the shops Scarlett dragged Carla to a beauty salon, where they got their hair
styled, their nails done and their legs waxed. 

Carla had
no idea if she had the nerve to wear the outfit Scarlett had bought for her; it
was far more revealing than anything else she owned. She preferred her clothes
to cover her body a little more. The outfit was definitely something new for
her and as they walked back into the house, tired from their trip, she brought
it up.

"Are
you sure this is what I should wear to um, negotiate." She took the dress
from the bag and held it up, noticing again how little there was to the outfit.

"That's
absolutely what you're going to wear to meet Jason tonight, you'll have his
libido on edge and he might go easier on you." At Carla's look of panic
she laughed. "I'm kidding, honey, you're going to be just fine, and if you
don't like what he has to say, then tell him thank you but you're not
interested."

Carla bit
her lip until it bled as she nervously admitted, "I'm really scared, Scarlett."

"Put
your things away and grab a shower, honey, I'll be back in fifteen minutes,
then we'll talk." Not giving Carla a chance to argue, Scarlett left the
room and crossed the hall to her own dorm room. The dorms were all single
person dwelling, but they might as well have been double-occupancy given how
much time the two of them spent in each other's room.

She could
still remember the condescension in her father’s voice when she had told him
she was going to live on campus. Denying him the right to house her then had
given her great satisfaction; the condo he had bought her was his payback, he
knew she couldn’t just ignore it because she needed somewhere to live.

Carla hung
the dress bag on the closet door and put the rest of her things away. With that
done she stripped off and stepped into the shower. She washed herself
meticulously, being careful not to get her hair wet. All the while her thoughts
were on her upcoming meeting with Jason. Her stomach tied itself in knots, even
though she was just going to talk to him.

"Carla,
unless you want to show up looking like a prune you need to get your ass out of
the shower, you've been in there forever." Scarlett called out as she made
herself at home in the kitchen, taking a diet coke from the fridge. 

Taking a
deep breath to calm herself, Carla stepped out of the shower and dried off.
Wrapped in a huge yellow bath towel, she joined Scarlett in the kitchenette.
"Maybe this was a stupid idea, Scarlett."  She gripped the towel
tightly, both to stop it falling and to prevent her hands from shaking uncontrollably.

"Do
you want me to call him and tell him you've changed your mind?" She had
never seen her friend so nervous.

"No!" 
She hadn't meant to sound so vehement in her reply but the thought of not
seeing Jason was as terrifying as actually going through with the meeting.

Scarlett
laughed aloud at her quick response. "So this is something you definitely
want to do?" she asked, fighting to control her mirth.

"Yes,
no, oh hell, Scarlett I don't know what I'm doing here." Carla began
pacing back and forth, unable to stand still. Her heart was still racing and
she was confused as all get out.

"Alright,
enough debating for you, missy!" Walking around the counter Scarlett
grabbed Carla's hand and led her through to the bedroom. "You're going to
get that ass dressed, and at least go talk to the man." She rummaged in Carla's
drawers, pulled out the new silk underwear they'd bought that morning and laid
it out on the bed. 

Carla
didn't even question her friend as she let the towel hit the floor and walked
over to slide the panties on. She loved how the silk felt against her bare
skin. While she did that Scarlett took the dress from the bag down and walked
over to her.

"Let's
try not to mess up your hair." Holding the flimsy silk garment out, she
carefully slid the dress over Carla's head, then lifted her long chestnut hair
out of the small strap behind her neck that held it up.

The sea
foam green dress was completely backless, which meant it was impossible for Carla
to wear a bra, and at the front it plunged deeply, just barely covering the
tops of her perky breasts. Scarlett knew Carla would have Jason eating out of
the palm of her hand the moment she walked through the door and he got his
first glimpse of her.

Pulling
down the soft silk hem, Carla wished the dress covered a little more of her
legs. She was only 5'2 yet it only fell a few inches down her thighs, covering
her ass and nothing more; she couldn't imagine how someone taller could wear
the dress without showing everything.