A Heart Renewed (27 page)

Back straightening, with an edge to her voice, she said, “I’m fine.  Just take care of Annabel.”

Limping her way to the stable, she leaned on the stable wall as she made her way back outside.  He watched as she slowly walked towards the ranch house.  Will ran toward her, obviously displeased that she was injured.  Adam turned away, not wanting to witness the ensuing argument.  Instead, he removed the saddle from Annabel and returned her to her stall.

 “William!  Put me down!” Julia screamed, pounding her hand down on his shoulder.

“I will not!” her brother shouted, as he carried her into the house.

Hannah jumped up from her seat at the table.  “What happened?”

“Julia is hurt.”

“I am fine,” she corrected.  “Just a little bruised.”

“From what?” Hannah asked.

Julia bit her tongue as Will laid her down on her bed, thankfully out of the eyesight of Snake who was already waiting at the table for dinner.

“From what?” Will echoed.

“From falling off a horse,” she replied softly.

“What on earth!”  Will shouted.  “Were you riding that unbroken mare?”

She looked away, knowing Will would speak his mind regardless.

“Look at me!  Were you?” he asked again, shaking her shoulders.

“She’s not completely unbroken.”

Will threw his arms up in the air in defeat.  “You try my patience.  Why on earth were you riding her?  And what was Adam thinking to let you?”

“Will,” Hannah said, softly.  “Please, give us a minute.”

A grumble followed Will as he stormed from the room.

Julia sighed.  “I’m fine.  Really.  It wasn’t the first time I’ve been thrown.  Won’t be the last.”

Hannah smiled.  “No, I don’t suppose it will.  Let me take a look.”

Laying back, she let Hannah double check her for signs of anything broken.  She could already feel the bruise forming on her back side.  No doubt she’d be sore for several days from this one.

But, oh, it had been worth it!  Annabel was a smart animal.  Graceful when she wasn’t afraid.  She calmed quickly.  If only Julia had paid closer attention to the time and had dismounted before the bell rang.  No one would be hovering over her now, or stewing angrily in the next room.  She could hear Will barking at Adam even through the wall.

“I don’t see anything serious,” Hannah said.  “Just some nasty bruising.”

“Good.  Can we go eat now?”

At Hannah’s nod, Julia righted her appearance, remembering to toss aside her hat before returning to the dining room.  As she sat down she winched.  Maybe she would volunteer for dishes duty so she wouldn’t have to sit for too long.

Will narrowed his eyes at her.  Adam stared at his plate, guilt written all over his face.  Snake looked like he was ready to slither away from the tension in the room.  Hannah bowed her head.  Ben smirked.

A slight shuffle of a foot under the table sounded before Will dropped his head and offered grace.  When his head snapped up, he looked even less pleased than before.

She was tired of this.  Tired of Will being cross at her for things he taught her how to do.  He should not be the least surprised by her behavior, especially when he encouraged it all those years back home.

“Will, calm down,” she said.

“I will not calm down.  You could have been seriously injured!”

“But, I wasn’t.  If it had been Adam riding that horse, he could have been just as seriously injured.  It’s those risks we take to train the horses.  Those don’t change if it is a man or a woman on the back of the horse.”

Will slammed his fist down on the table, maintaining a rigid posture until Hannah gently laid her hand over his closed fist.  Slowly he pulled in his anger, though his words still came out harsh.  “Adam knows better than to let you get on such a green horse.”

Adam’s head dropped lower as he pushed his food around on his plate.

“How dare you blame Adam for this!  You share more of the responsibility for this than he does!”

“How so?”

“You’re the one who let me follow you everywhere on the Star C.  You taught me to rope.  You taught me to shoot.  You taught me to ride a green horse.  You taught me ranching!  And now you sit there, willing to blame others because I’m not some sweet prim and proper domesticated housebound sister.  What did you expect?”

Will dropped his gaze to his food.

She wanted an answer, not some silent washing over of the topic.  “What did you expect, Will?”

When he looked her in the eye, she swallowed hard.  “I never expected it would turn out like this.  Have some common sense, Julia.  Stop putting yourself in danger.”

She parted her lips to lash out.

“Let it go.  Let us eat in peace.”  The warning in his eyes did more to still her tongue than his words did.

Silence filled the room, except for the clank of utensils touching plates.  Julia concentrated on her meal, hoping it would pass quickly, eager to hide away the rest of the day.  Away from Will.  Away from his perfect wife.  Away from the reminder of what drove her here in the first place.

Chapter 20

Colter Ranch

November 24, 1864

Thanksgiving Day started early for the women of Colter Ranch.  Being a stickler for her family’s tradition,  Hannah begged Will to hunt for a wild turkey yesterday.  Unfortunately, he and Ben returned with an elk instead.  She tried not to show her disappointment when they returned, but she was disappointed.  She grew up serving turkey for the holiday and it just did not seem like Thanksgiving without it.  At least they would still have mashed potatoes and gravy, even if there would be no turkey and dressing.

Peeling yet another potato, Hannah smiled at the thought of the celebration planned for the afternoon.  She was excited that Betty and Paul would be joining them.  She was also looking forward to meeting Dr. Armstrong.  When Will told her he had invited the new doctor, she reassured him that she was pleased.  As far as she was concerned, the more people at their gathering the better.  On the farm where she grew up, her parents always hosted a big feast.  Her aunt and uncle would come, along with several neighbors.  She treasured the time spent with family and friends and this year would be no different.

Handing off the peeled potato to Julia, Hannah smiled at her sister-in-law.  Julia did not return the smile, as she had not with any of the smiles Hannah offered since her arrival, save the very first.

She was concerned for her.  She thought Julia’s confession would open the door for healing.  Instead, she seemed more distant and withdrawn, almost as if she was reliving it all over again.  Hannah prayed for her daily, asking God to heal the young woman’s broken heart and restore her faith.  She had obviously suffered—was suffering still.  Only God could heal all of her wounds.

Rosa hummed as she prepared the elk roast.  As usual, Hannah encouraged her Mexican cook to go easy on the spices.  Her stomach wasn’t as strong as Rosa’s, although she found she was in the minority there.  Will and most of the men seemed to prefer the spicy seasonings Rosa used.

Once the last potato was peeled and in the boiling pot, she dumped the peelings in the waste pail.  She rubbed her sore back.  Being with child still seemed a little unusual, especially since she was barely showing yet.  Every night, Will would try to get her to lay still so he could determine if he could see the baby start to bulge and each night he swore she looked a little bigger than the night before.  She smiled thinking about it.  He was so happy about becoming a father, probably because he had such a good example, from the stories he told her.

Strange, how both Will and Reuben could have experienced the love of their father, an honorable, kind man, yet they turned out so differently.  From the way Will described his father, he followed in his footsteps.  He was a man of God seeking to live a life worthy of his Savior.  His kindness and gentleness had been one of the things that attracted Hannah.  His spirit was genuine.  His protectiveness over those he loved was unparalleled in her experience.  She was humbled, knowing God cared for her enough to bring her such a wonderful man.

A sudden wave of exhaustion hit her.  Odd how at times she felt more energized by the baby, while other times she felt like it was sucking away all of her energy.  She planned an elaborate meal for the day, but right now all she wanted to do was go lie down.

Julia looked over and must have seen how tired she was.  “Why don’t you go lay down and Rosa and I will finish here?”

Hannah thanked her and did as she suggested.  Closing the door behind her, she heard Will’s voice as he entered the ranch house.  Just as she curled up on the bed, he came in the room.  Too tired to open her eyes, she just laid there.

“Julia said you looked worn out.  Are you alright?”  Concern flooded his voice.

“I’m fine.  Just tired.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and pushed her loose hair back from her face.  She opened her eyes to his worried face.  She smiled, hoping it looked more energetic than she felt.  He searched her eyes for several minutes.  Then he kissed her forehead.

“Get some rest,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Julia struggled to pull herself together for the day.  She was not looking forward to having the house full of people, not because she minded the work of preparing for the day.  Rather, she did not feel like herself.  She was still uncomfortable around everyone.  She knew telling Hannah and Will had been the right thing, but the peace she hoped would come still eluded her.  That was what she craved more than anything.  Peace.

The past few weeks she decided to stop asking why.  She could not change what happened to her as much as she wanted to.  Asking why only churned the emotions like a tornado inside her.  She felt worse each time she asked God why.  She could not hold a grudge against Him anymore either.  She knew better.  But, not holding a grudge, and being on speaking terms with God were two entirely different matters.

Then there was Adam.  Since the day she fell off Annabel, she avoided him.  She had never seen him so tense and worried about her before as he was when she was working with the horse.  There was something more.  More than friendly concern.  More than fear of her being harmed.  She did not want to name the look he gave her, for it would only add to her sorrow of being a ruined woman.

As if all these worries weren’t enough, Julia worried over her relationship with Will.  He seemed subdued since she told him her secret, at least when she wasn’t doing something that provoked him to anger.  Hannah told her he felt it was his fault.  As ridiculous as his blaming himself was, Julia could not bring herself to tell him that.  Daily she was reminded how much he looked like Reuben.  She could not stand to talk to him more than was necessary to get through the day, much less to assuage his guilt.  She knew she should.  She just could not.

Once she finished rolling out the pie dough, she carefully pressed it into the pie plate.  One of the cowboys went down by the creek earlier in the week and picked pecans for the ladies.  They had more than enough for the four pies she was planning on baking today—well, that Hannah planned to bake.  After the crusts were prepared, she set about mixing up the filling.  Hannah’s recipe was the best, so that was what she used.  The sweet filling highlighted the natural pecan flavor like no other pecan pie she remembered.

When the last pie was in the oven, she took a break, walking outside for some fresh air.  Despite the late November date, the days were still rather pleasant, not requiring much more than a shawl.  The nights were a different story.  Once the sun was down, the temperature would drop by as much as thirty degrees.  Most nights were below freezing.  When she asked if it snowed here, Hannah assured her it did, though most of the time the snow would melt off during the sunshine the next day.

She breathed deeply, picking up the fragrance of pine and juniper.  While she liked Texas, she liked the Arizona Territory as much.  The rolling hills and unique granite mountains spoke to her in a way nature had not before.  Just gazing at the pine tree dotted mountains brought a smile to her face—a rare occurrence.  This seemed to be the only time she found any measure of peace.