A Father In The Making (17 page)

Some from Karl.

But he kept quiet, letting the silence hang between them, rife with expectancy.

“I know what I am. A mother of four children. I know that it would take a special person to be...be with me. When I saw you with Lacy Miedema, when I found her phone number in the pocket of your coat, it was as if all my doubts had found an outlet.”

Lacy? Why was she talking about Lacy? “What? What are you talking about?”

Mia gave him a patient smile. “I thought you were attracted to her. I thought I didn't matter to you anymore, and why would I? She's attractive—”

“You're a beautiful woman, Mia. An amazing woman,” Nate interrupted her as he tightened his grip on her hand, slowly beginning to understand what had happened. “How could you think that I'd be interested in Lacy?”

“I found her phone number in the pocket of your coat. And then, at book club, she and you went outside.”

“Yeah. To see Tango and to talk about her dad's place. I was thinking of buying it.”

“I know that now, but you have to understand how it looked to me. I saw you with her—young, pretty, single, unattached—and compared her to me. Older, divorced, messy, tangled life and four children. I couldn't imagine how you could choose me over her.”

“But I was never interested in her.” Nate felt a slow realization dawn on him. “You were jealous of her?”

Mia gave a tight nod.

“You didn't need to be.” He drew in a quick breath, but the pain that had sliced through his head was now reduced to a dull throb. The pain medication must have kicked in. “I was never interested in her.”

She looked up at him and in spite of his assurances he still saw doubt on her face.

“You don't believe me, do you?”

“I want to,” she said quietly. Then she sighed. “I have my reasons why I don't.”

“Tell me,” he encouraged.

Mia bit her lip as if hesitating, then started talking. “I told you that Al left me when I was expecting. But I didn't tell you the other reason. I found out later that he was cheating on me. With a much younger, thinner and prettier girl.”

“Al was an idiot,” Nate said, his voice growing harsh. “Don't judge yourself by his actions.”

Mia's smile grew at his words and in spite of his desire to protect his own heart, he knew he had to let her know his feelings. Needed to assure her of how important she was to him.

“You know I was attracted to you the first time I saw you.”

“And then you found out I had kids.”

Nate was quiet a moment, trying to find the right words to express his initial reaction to her. “It wasn't the kids. I love kids. It was the fact that, as a mother, you would need someone I didn't think I could be. You needed someone who could commit to sticking around. I didn't dare make that commitment until...until I got to know you. Got to love you.”

Mia stared at him as if she hadn't heard him properly. “Love me?”

He squeezed her hand again, the only way he could assure her right now. Then he sat up, facing her directly. “Yes. Love you. I didn't think I could do that. Didn't dare to.”

Mia smiled at that. “Josh was worried about you. Apparently, he heard you say that you were afraid of opening your heart and he thought that when you were injured that maybe your heart was hurt.”

Nate released a light laugh. “I was afraid. That's why, when you said I should leave, I took you at your word. I thought for sure that you didn't want me around.”

Mia shook her head. “No. I did want you around. I said that because of something I misheard. I didn't think you were coming back.” She lifted his hand and brushed her lips over the back of it. “You mean more to me than any man ever has. And that made me afraid, too. I was guarding my heart, as well. I was just as afraid as you.”

Nate hardly believed what she was saying. Could hardly believe that the relationship he thought was shattered beyond repair was slowly being mended and remade.

“So you told me to leave,” he said, his voice quiet, uncondemning.

Mia nodded, holding his gaze this time, her eyes steady. “I wanted to be the one in control this time around. I wanted to be the one who made the decisions. I thought it would be easier if I told you to leave than if you were the one who left me.”

“But I wasn't leaving. I was only going to the futurity and then I was coming back.”

“I know that now,” she returned. “I talked to Denny. He told me that you were thinking of buying the Miedema place.”

Nate was suddenly tired of the distance between them. He carefully got up, then he pulled Mia out of her chair and drew her close to him, reveling in the feel of her fragile form in his arms. “I am thinking of buying it. I want to make a home for you and for your kids. I want to be beside you, supporting you and being a partner to you.”

Mia looked up at him, her hands now resting on his chest. And once again he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

“I know you've lost so much the past while,” he said. “But I want to help you rebuild and be there for you.”

She could only shake her head, looking at him. “Is this true? Is this real?”

“Maybe this will convince you,” he said as he drew her close and caught her lips in a kiss. “I love you, Mia,” he said against her mouth, brushing his lips over her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead, ignoring the dull throb of pain in his own. “I love your kids and I want to make a life with you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered, gently touching his face. “So much.”

She kissed him again and as they drew back, Nate felt as if all the loose ends of his life had finally been woven into a whole.

“As soon as I get discharged, I want to go to the ranch. Tell the kids.” Then he smiled. “Talk to Nico. Make plans for our future,” he said, brushing his fingers over her beloved face. “A future together.”

“Together. I like the sound of that.”

As he kissed her again he knew he had found what he'd been seeking all his life. Family. Home. Love.

Epilogue

“T
oo bad about second place,” Arden said,
clapping Nate on the shoulder as they walked out of the arena, Tango following
behind. “I think your horse would have placed first if he had a better group of
cows to work with.”

“I'm happy enough with second,” Nate said, leading Tango
through the fenced-off alley to the pens behind the arena, thankful it was over.
“All things considered, Tango did his best and that's what matters.”

The competition was over. The crowd was still cheering the
first-place winner, who was now cantering his horse around the arena in his
victory lap.

“He's got some great lines, good control. I'd like to talk to
you about stud fees.”

Nate gave him a quick look and nodded, and Arden looked like he
was about to say more when Nate heard voices calling his name.

“Looks like you got your own fan club,” Arden said with a laugh
as Nico and Josh ran toward him, Mia behind carrying Grace, Denny with Jennifer
and Evangeline holding Ella.

“We saw you ride,” Josh called out, grabbing Nate's hand.

“I saw you, too,” Nico repeated as Nate bent down and swung him
up, then set him on Tango's back.

“You did great,” Mia said, flinging an arm around his neck. He
took a moment and dropped a kiss on her lips, giving her a happy smile. “And so
did you, Tango,” she added, taking a moment to pat him, as well.

Grace reached out for him and Nate caught her in his arms and
gave her a tight hug. She laughed and grabbed for his cowboy hat.

“You can't have that, Grace,” Nico complained. “It's
Nate's.”

But Nate just grinned and dropped his hat on her head.

His heart swelled with joy and pride. That all of them had come
down to the competition to watch him meant more than he could ever tell
them.

“So, I don't imagine you'll be coming to my ranch tomorrow to
work for me,” he heard Arden saying.

Nate shook his head. “No. I've got other priorities.”

“Quite a few of them, I can see,” Arden replied.

“Nothing I can't handle,” Nate returned, giving Mia a quick
smile and a wink.

“Well, I'll let you get back to your family,” Arden said.

Nate looked over the gathered group and felt a settling in his
soul.

His family.

He liked the sound of that.

“So, should we go home?” Mia asked.

And Nate liked the sound of that even better.

He gave Mia another kiss, shifted Grace in his arms and with
everyone gathered around, they walked out of the arena to the vehicles.

Next stop Hartley Creek. And home.

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt from RESCUED BY THE FIREFIGHTER by Gail Gaymer Martin.

Dear Reader:

Both Mia and Nate had issues from their past that they
had to let go of in order to move forward. Nate had to learn to release his need
to prove himself to a man who was dead, and Mia had to release herself from her
ex-husband's perception of herself. Many times we let the past define our
present. Thankfully, our Lord not only deals with us where we are today, He
helps us put away the guilt and the hurt of the past, giving us hope for a
renewed future. I pray that if you are dealing with scars of the past that you
can see yourself as a new creation in Christ.

Blessings,

P.S. I love to hear from my readers. Write me at
[email protected]
or stop by my website at
www.carolyneaarsen.com
and sign up
for my newsletter to keep up with news and upcoming releases.

Questions for Discussion

1. Nate seems taken aback when he finds out Mia has four children. Why do you think he reacts that way?
   
2. Even though Nate says he's not a kid person, he is very good with Mia's children. Why do you think Nate downplays his talent with children?
   
3. When Mia's business burns down, she loses everything. Have you ever gone through a similar experience? How did you cope?
   
4. One of Mia's sons, Nico, stops speaking after the fire. Why do you think he does this?
   
5. Mia believes she already had her chance at love, and doesn't expect another. Do you agree with her? Do you think each of us only gets one shot at love, or do we get many chances?
   
6. Nate suffered abuse at the hands of his stepfather. How did this affect him in his adult life?
   
7. Why do you think Nate has such a hard time accepting the money his stepfather willed to him? What would you have done in the same situation?
   
8. Mia loves her children and would do anything for them. Was she right in being so overprotective of them? Why or why not?
   
9. When Nate is injured by the horse, Mia realizes that she cares for him very much. Have you ever come to understand something clearer after an emergency or tragedy? Discuss.
   
10. What are some of the things Mia and Nate will have to deal with in their future?
    

Chapter One

P
aula Reynolds looked down the church aisle and watched the guests being seated. She felt as jittery as the bride. She checked her watch and studied her cousin. “How are you doing?”

“Nervous...and anxious.” Ashley sent her a playful grin. “Today my life changes forever.”

Paula gave a nod, unable to voice the words that were caught in her throat. Forever had been her cousin's hopes when she married Adam, but fate had had other plans. Ashley had endured a bitter blow when Adam had died in Afghanistan, leaving her and a baby son he'd never met. The memory overwhelmed Paula.

She moved closer, trying to avoid crushing Ashley's wedding gown, and gave her a hug. “I'm so happy for you.”

Ashley's eyes grew misty. “I know you are.” She held Paula in her embrace and gave her a squeeze.

“Don't wrinkle that gorgeous dress.” She eased out of Ashley's arms and shifted back toward the doorway to wait for the music to signal her down the aisle. A bridesmaid. She'd never have believed it six months ago.

Images swept through her, filling her with longing. She wished she'd had siblings of her own, but she smiled now, enjoying the friendship of her two cousins, who'd hurried to her side when they'd learned of her mother's death. They'd opened their arms as if she were another sister. With their recent closeness, Ashley had asked her to be a bride's attendant. Make-believe sister or not, her cousins' love touched her more than anything had in years.

Silly how she'd worried that Ashley felt obligated to ask her, and to give Ashley an out, she'd insisted the honor wasn't necessary. Thankfully, her cousin's determination won over, and when Paula accepted, her heart had tripped and the ripple of pleasure surprised her.

Ashley had not only insisted she participate in the wedding, but the bride-to-be solicited her sister, Neely, and her to help select an appropriate wedding dress for a widow. They found the lovely gown Ashley wore today, a calf-length cream-colored dress with three-quarter sleeves and scooped neckline with a formfitting waist that fell in soft folds over Ashley's trim figure. Today her cousin looked gorgeous as she stood close to her father, who waited to walk her down the aisle.

Ashley beckoned to her again, concern on her face.

Paula hurried to her side. “What is it?”

“Is something wrong? You were looking at me, and I thought—”

“I was admiring your dress.” She chuckled. “We all loved it the moment we saw it.”

Tension vanished from Ashley's face. “Look at you. I've never seen you in a gown. You're beautiful.”

No one had called her beautiful before. She lowered her gaze to the pastel coral dress she wore, a color in autumn leaves floating from the trees outside the church. “Thanks. I love it.”

Images of fall flashed through her mind, a time of rejuvenation as the summer foliage took a rest anticipating a rebirth in spring. That was what she wanted for herself. Her lingering memories needed to be buried so her life could sprout new hope. Though her optimism didn't always deaden her difficult past, little by little she'd seen the sun. She had her cousins to thank for that.

“I love this time of year.”

Ashley's voice cut through her thoughts. “I know. It's when Devon and I settled in as a couple following my accident.” Her eyes grew misty. “I'll never forget wakening that day with a gorgeous angel—”

“Angel?”

“Okay, it was Devon, but he was like an angel. He was peering at me and holding poor little Joey, who was so frightened.” She blinked tears from her eyes. “He saved me in so many ways. He heard Joey crying and then saw the downed tree and came running.”

“He's that kind of man, Ash, a gift after all you went through.” Her cousin's remembrance filled her heart. She couldn't picture herself being rescued by anyone.

Ashley glanced at her dad and then her watch. “I wonder what's taking so long.” She lifted concerned eyes to Paula. “Is Devon up front yet?”

Paula stepped back to the doorway and shook her head. “He'll be there.” She drew back to her stance near the wall, her eyes on the chancel. The ceremony should have started five minutes earlier, but that was life, too. Things didn't always happen as planned.

With Ashley's past heartbreak in her mind, Paula wished this time her cousin's marriage would last a lifetime, the kind of union she'd dreamed about for years. Though still single at thirty-five, Paula would still enjoy Ashley's wedding and sometimes let her thoughts consider marriage to a wonderful man—whether it would happen or not.

Organ music diverted her from her thoughts. The men were filing out from somewhere, and she gave Ashley a thumbs-up. Her heart skipped as she began her trek down the aisle. Ahead, Devon, his brother, Derek, and his firefighter friend Clint Donatelli observed her slow pace to the front. Though uncomfortable with all eyes on her, she managed to concentrate on the happiness she'd found living in Ferndale, welcomed by her cousins and Uncle Fred, who had graciously invited her to stay with him until she found her own place. She'd do that one day. Soon, she hoped. But that precluded finding a job and finalizing her mother's estate. Too much to think about today.

The scent of the flowers drew her back, and she gazed at the men, still observing her snail-paced journey. She'd grown fond of Devon with his sturdy frame and not one ounce of fat—just solid muscle. So was his friend Clint, handsome in his dark suit, tall and lean, his Italian heritage reflected in his dark brown hair flecked with gray and classic features. But the stereotypical Italian image ended when it came to his deep blue eyes.

Clint was her idea of a perfect man, but those dreams, as much as she loved them, seemed out of reach. Her relationships with men had always ended in disappointment. Sometimes worse.

Drawing her focus from Clint, she concentrated on her long, slow trek. When she reached her place at the front, she turned to admire Neely gliding down the aisle, wearing a hunter-green dress shimmering in the light from the windows and carrying a bouquet the same as hers, a blend of autumn flowers—golden black-eyed Susans, orange roses, flame calla lilies, green hydrangea blossoms and burnt-orange hypericum berries.

The music grew louder, introducing the bridal fanfare. The guests rose and faced the entrance as Ashley moved forward on her father's arm. Startled by her tender feelings, Paula blinked to clear her blurred vision as tears sneaked from her eyes and formed rivulets down her cheeks. With everyone's attention on Ashley, she brushed away the moisture, digging deep to shoo away her emotion. This kind of reaction had been unwelcome in her life. Whatever bad happened, she'd always buried her emotions, unwilling to give way to something as useless as tears.

Ashley nudged her sister with the bridal bouquet, and Neely grasped it as Ashley and Devon exchanged vows. The familiar words swept over her, leaving her with questions. How could anyone promise to love someone forever, to be faithful and true to them in sickness and health until death? Her parents' lives had provided no example of love or faithfulness. Her own experiences left her empty and frustrated.

Instead of wasting time thinking about the past, she needed to focus on the future, just as Ashley was experiencing today. She studied Ashley's and Devon's faces, seeing what she'd never seen in her own reflection. Even Neely's gaze toward her husband, Jonny, seated in the second row, was filled with a kind of beauty that she'd always considered part of a fairy tale—Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty awakened with a kiss.

Her own experiences identified more with the Beauty facing the Beast but without the loving tears that turned the beast into a handsome prince. Instead of tears, her emotion had turned to ice. The man who'd promised her a lifetime of happiness but never offered her a ring had left her with a wounded heart and an empty purse. A longtime relationship filled with promises as cold as a winter ice storm.

But today the moisture in her eyes unleashed more positive thoughts. Could the new door that had opened with her uncle's family unlock her heart and her trust, as well? Life didn't always offer such choices. Yet here she was in a new environment surrounded by a supportive family.

As gentle as a breeze, the wedding kiss ended, and Ashley reached for her bouquet. On Devon's arm, she smiled at the guests as they moved down the aisle to greet them in the narthex before they left for the hall. Neely latched arms with Devon's brother, and Clint stepped to Paula's side. Her pulse skipped when he locked his arm to hers, noting his strength beneath the dark suit that complemented his over-six-foot frame.

Her reaction frustrated her, but she managed a smile and ignored her pulse, which was galloping like an unbridled mare. Somewhere in her subconscious, an alert sounded. Vic had been out of her life for almost three years, but she still knew better than to even think romantic thoughts. Not again. She'd fallen prey before. Reacting to someone she barely knew put her on dangerous ground. Yet, despite her wise counsel, Clint melted the ice in her veins and sent warmth coursing through her. Her mental struggle floated away on the organ music. Today was about Ashley's wedding and not some kind of ridiculous fairy-tale moment.

* * *

Clint guided Paula down the aisle, surprised at her response when he'd taken her arm as the others had done. He didn't think of her as timid, but he'd felt her guard mount at his touch. When they'd met for the ceremony rehearsal, she'd stood back, observing before she became involved. Beneath her quiet demeanor, he sensed her mind snapping. And that was what did it. She'd aroused his interest. No one had done that for years. He'd chalked it up to her vulnerability. Firefighters had a penchant for helping people in trouble. Though she smiled and chatted once she'd warmed up, beneath her smile, he sensed something deeper churning inside a locked trunk. Yet she couldn't hide those lovely eyes, the color of caramel, which seemed to match her long, wavy hair.

He almost shook his head at his concocted analysis. The woman was new to town. Some people took longer to get comfortable. He'd spoken a little to her and sensed she wasn't a churchgoer. Yet faith seemed a stronghold for her family. It was what had helped Ashley through the loss of her young husband, a man who'd never seen his newborn child other than in photographs. Clint's chest constricted, wondering how he might feel being denied that amazing privilege of seeing a child created from the love of a man and woman.

A smidgen of envy wheedled into his consciousness. Nothing good ever came of envy. Not one thing. Envy caused displeasure and longing, sometimes resentment. Envy thwarted what lay ahead and signaled lack of trust in the Lord. He dismissed this negative thought and pinpointed a new goal.

He hoped the occasion would lower Paula's guard. He would enjoy learning more about her, and he juggled ideas how to make it happen. His discouragement grew while standing in the reception line. Seeming on edge, she appeared to know few of her relatives and spent most of her time explaining who she was by mentioning her mother, Dorothy, who'd died recently. If she wasn't comfortable with her relatives, what hope did he—a stranger—have?

The last guest greeted them before heading for the reception hall, but he'd been warned they had to stick around for photos. He studied Paula's expression and took a chance. “Do you mind posing for pictures?”

“Do you?”

He jerked his head back, an instinctive reaction to her abrupt response. “Not really.”

“Me, neither.”

Her short response held a playful tone, and she made the cutest face, her nose wrinkled while the corner of her mouth curved to a faint grin. He plowed ahead. “Do you think we can escape?”

“If you know Ashley, you already have the answer.”

He liked her snappy responses. “Then we'd better give in and follow them.”

She released a dramatic sigh and hooked her arm through his, different from her earlier reaction, which made him curious. They followed the others to stand beneath the lovely cross where the stained-glass windows puddled brilliant colors on the carpet.

“Ready to plaster on a smile?” He gave her arm a squeeze.

“Ready as I'll ever be. How about you?”

Making a move, he slipped his arm behind her back and guided her toward the photographer. “Same here.”

She considered him a moment and, to his pleasure, she didn't draw back.

Rather than scaring her off, he left well enough alone. He'd acted like a naive schoolboy, noticing for the first time that girls were different. Today the same awareness slithered down his spine. It was natural. Four years had passed since being with a woman who attracted him.

He'd pretty much steered clear of women until now, since Elise had walked out of his life without one backward glance. Why she'd waited so long, so close to their wedding day, he'd never know. No wonder he'd been confused. Perhaps one day he would figure out what he'd done wrong.

Trying to be subtle, he studied Paula from a peripheral view. She didn't seem ready for anything either, so who was to say he and Paula couldn't be friends? Friendship served both involved. Fun, laughter, companionship. Maybe that was all he needed—time to adjust to a woman's companionship. It might be easier than he thought.

Paula touched his arm, an inquiring expression on her face. “Come back to planet earth. The photographer is giving you a look.”

So was she, and he liked it.

* * *

Music filled the hall as Paula entered with Clint at her side. She spotted the deejay near the dance floor, a middle-aged man who'd probably been entertaining wedding parties for years.

“I think our seats are over there.” Clint beckoned her to follow, and behind him she admired his physique as he guided her to the bridal table. At first, she'd felt trapped, and it made no sense. Clint had been pleasant company, polite and tempting her smile to appear. For too long, she hadn't smiled much, and, since coming to stay with her uncle Fred, she'd found herself chuckling at his amusing comments and her cousins' easy wit. Today she discovered the same kind of playfulness in Clint.