A Father In The Making (16 page)

Chapter Fifteen

“P
oor Nate,” Josh said, folding his hands over his chest as Mia tucked him in bed. “We have to pray for him, don't we?”

“Yes, we do. That was hard to see, wasn't it?” Mia could still hear the smack of Nola's hoof connecting with Nate, the way Nate's head snapped back then thudded lifelessly to the ground, blood streaming from his head.

After the ambulance left, Mia called Denny and Evangeline and they had immediately gone to the hospital, leaving Ella with Renee in town.

An hour ago they had called to say that Nate was conscious and in deep pain. He had suffered a concussion and would be kept overnight for observation. Denny joked how it was lucky Nate was kicked in the head. Anywhere else and he might have sustained some real damage.

But the humor was lost on Mia.

“Are you sure he's okay?” Josh asked, the worry in his voice mirroring her own.

“Uncle Denny said he is, so we have to believe that,” Mia replied, gently stroking his hair back from his face.

Nico climbed onto the bed beside Josh and slumped down, the picture of abject misery. “I want Nate,” he said quietly, as if he was still getting used to his voice.

Mia's heart was torn. Hearing her son talk was the one bright and shining spot in all the hard things that had happened the past few days.

“I know, honey,” she said, stroking Nico's face, then pulling him onto her lap.

“I hope Nate's heart is okay,” Josh continued, tapping his folded hands on his chest. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, then eased out a sigh.

“What do you mean, his heart is okay?” Mia asked. As far as Denny and Evangeline had heard, Nate's heart was just fine.

Josh looked back at her as if puzzled. “Nate said that if he opened his heart it would hurt. And you said the horse kick opened his heart.”

Mia stared at her son, trying to understand what he was saying. “I said that the kick opened up a gash in his head, is that what you're talking about?”

Now it was Josh's turn to look puzzled. Then he shook his head. “Nate said that he was afraid to open his heart. That it would hurt if he did. And that he said he didn't know what he would do if you pushed him away.” Josh shot his mother a puzzled frown. “But you didn't push Nate. The horse kicked him.”

His comments and questions came at her like disparate statements she struggled to piece together.

“When did Nate say this?” she asked.

“When we were building birdhouses,” Josh continued. “He said it to Denny. He sounded really sad.”

The same afternoon she had overheard Nate saying that he had to leave.

What had he meant? She looked down at Josh, knowing she wouldn't get the full story from him, but she knew there was someone who could tell her.

“I'm sure Nate's heart is good,” Mia assured him, then bent over to kiss him good-night.

She prayed with the boys, adding her own prayer for answers and wisdom.

She checked on her sleeping daughters, then walked downstairs, made a pot of coffee, pulled out her Bible and sat and read while she waited for Denny and Evangeline to return and update her on Nate's progress.

Half an hour later, the sound of the outside door and the subdued sounds of Denny and Evangeline's voices on the porch combined to weave a web of dread around Mia.

She closed her Bible, her hands clutching the fresh cup of coffee she had just poured for herself. When they came into the kitchen and she saw the anxiety on their faces, the web tightened.

“So. How is he? Is he going to be okay?” The words spilled out in a rush of worry and fear.

Denny gave her a careful smile as he shifted Ella to Evangeline. “He has about a dozen stitches in his head, but yes, he'll be fine. Like I told you, the doctors simply want to keep him in for observation. He'll be discharged tomorrow.”

“What did you think, Evangeline?” Mia needed a second opinion.

“I think he'll be okay.” She laid her hand on Mia's shoulder and squeezed lightly. “Just give me a minute to put Ella to bed and I'll join you.”

Evangeline left and Denny poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down with Mia.

He gave her a reassuring, fatherly pat on the arm. “He'll be okay, you know. He's tough. He's lived through a lot worse.”

“I'm guessing you're talking about Karl?” Mia asked.

Denny nodded as he spooned some sugar into his mug. He stirred it, the faint clinking of his spoon the only sound in the quiet of the kitchen. Then Denny leaned back and gave her a penetrating look.

“Nate's talking about leaving when he gets out of the hospital,” Denny said, pausing to take a sip of coffee. “Stop me if I'm sticking my nose in where I shouldn't, but can you tell me why? He said it was what you wanted.”

Mia frowned, puzzled that Denny would draw that conclusion. “He was the one who was talking about leaving.”

Now it was Denny's turn to look confused. “Do you mean for the futurity?”

“No. I mean for good.”

Denny shook his head. “Nate never said anything about leaving permanently. In fact, he had been making plans to stay.”

“Stay? Where?”

“Here. He had been looking at the Miedema place. Looking to buy it.”

His words fell into her mind like pebbles, each one creating ripples that intersected, disturbing her perceptions.

“Buy it? But...I thought he was leaving.”

“For the futurity, yes. But then he was coming back.”

“But I heard...I heard him say that he had to do what he had to do. That he had to leave.”

Denny looked taken aback. “When did you hear that?”

Mia tried to not blush. She hadn't deliberately eavesdropped when she overheard this. She had been on her way to deliver Nate's jacket.

The jacket with the phone number of Lacy Miedema in the pocket.

“Can I ask you something personal about Nate?” Mia asked, suspecting that what Josh had said and what she had overheard were part of the same conversation.

“Ask and I'll see if I can answer it,” Denny replied.

Mia hesitated a moment, not sure how to word the question that had been hovering at the edge of her mind ever since she came down from her son's bedroom.

“This evening, when I was tucking Josh in, he asked about Nate's heart.” Mia suppressed a faint blush but then forged on. “He told me he had heard Nate say something about being afraid of opening his heart. That it would hurt if I pushed him away. Can you tell me what he meant by that?”

Denny didn't answer right away, which made Mia wonder if she had overstepped a boundary. Then he leaned forward, looking into his coffee as if looking for inspiration there.

“Nate has had a tough life,” he said. “I'm sure he's told you a few things.”

“He told me about Karl.”

“Did he tell you how he ended up with Karl?”

Mia shook her head. She remembered wondering but the conversation had moved on and she never thought to ask the question about his mother.

“Nate was about seven when his mother moved in with Karl. She was a single mother who had drifted from place to place. She would live with a guy, leave Nate with him for a couple of days at a time, then come back. Then she met Karl. He had a ranch and was well-off, so she moved in with him. She settled down, but after a couple of years, Karl's true colors came through. She decided she didn't want any part of that and left. But she left Nate behind. She abandoned him. That haunted Nate for years.”

Mia felt her breath catch in her throat as she listened to the painful story of Nate's childhood.

“When he came to live with us he was wary, careful and never said anything about his past,” Denny said. “Living with our family was like an out of control rodeo and I'm sure it was a huge switch. But in time he grew less reserved and slowly opened up. That's when I found out about how he felt when his mother left. Abandoned. Afraid and very cautious about, as Josh had said, opening his heart to anyone. I know when my parents died, it was another blow that made him retreat emotionally again.”

Then Denny looked over at Mia. “And then he came here and he met you.”

Mia sat back in her chair, feeling the gentle force of Denny's words.

“What do you mean?” she whispered, part of her knowing exactly what he was implying.

“He met you and he realized that he had found what he had been looking for. An independent woman who he respected, cared for. A woman who loved her children without reservation. A woman he could see building a life with.”

Mia stared at him, her hopeful heart quivering at what he said.

“And what Josh had overheard was Nate telling me that he was afraid of his growing feelings for you and for your children,” Denny continued. “He couldn't believe that something good could happen to him. That's why he needed time to think about all this. But he always had plans to come back to you.”

More questions circled.

But she knew that anything else she needed to find out, she had to find out from Nate.

“Thanks for this,” she said to Denny, getting up and setting her coffee cup in the sink. “Thanks for what you told me.”

“I hope it helped,” he said.

“It did,” she replied, her voice full of conviction and her heart laced with hope. “It helped a lot.”

* * *

Nate heard a rustling in the hospital room but kept his eyes closed. The pain medication he had just received hadn't kicked in yet and his head felt as if a sledgehammer had split his skull open. Every time he opened his eyes, he felt the hit again. Though he was glad he was going back to Denny and Evangeline's place to recuperate, Mia was there. And he wasn't sure how he was going to deal with seeing her again.

Denny had brought him a clean shirt and pants last night and he had changed into them this afternoon. He was resting on the bed, waiting for the doctor to come and discharge him.

But he wasn't in any mood to talk to anyone. So he turned his head to the side, a silent directive to any nurse to leave him alone.

He heard the scrape of a chair that cut into his head and then, as whoever had come into the room settled into the chair beside him, he heard a faint sniff and caught the scent of lilacs.

Mia?

He turned his head too quickly and pain knifed through his skull. A groan escaped as he opened his eyes.

And there she was, sitting on the chair beside him.

He couldn't stop the lift of his heart. The expectation that quickened his breath.

Her dark eyes showed her concern as did the faint lines bracketing her mouth, and he tamped down his reactions. She was only here because she was a caring, loving person and she felt sorry for him.

“Hey, there,” she whispered as a careful smile teased at her mouth. “I'd ask how you're doing, but I think the bandages and bruises say it all.”

Nate attempted a smile but at the same time he flashed back to their last conversation. How she had asked him to leave and pushed him away.

“I'm okay,” he said, keeping his tone noncommittal. Then a memory assailed him. “How is Nico? Did I really hear him calling out my name?”

Mia's smile shone. “Yes. I'm bringing him to see Dr. Schuler on Monday. He's been speaking more since yesterday.”

“I wonder what triggered it.”

“I think it was his fear of you leaving.”

Nate wasn't sure what to say to that. Nico's connection to him was still a puzzle. “I'm glad he's talking again. That must ease a huge burden for you.”

She nodded, the hopeful look on her face creating possibilities. “So what brings you here?” he asked, trying to keep his tone brusque. Trying to maintain some distance between them.

Mia's hesitant smile faded, but then she did a surprising thing. She reached over and swept his hair back from his bandages. Her fingers brushed his forehead, cool, soft and inviting.

Nate pushed back his reaction. He had to stay focused. He couldn't allow himself to get drawn into renegade emotions. He had to keep himself aloof from her.

But even as one part of his mind tried to convince himself of this, he couldn't stifle the hope her presence had awakened.

“I came for a couple of reasons,” Mia said, her hand slipping back to her lap. “One was to apologize for what I said yesterday. About how I thought you should leave. I...I was laboring under a misapprehension.”

“Been reading Dickens, have we?” he joked, hoping to deflect with humor.

“No, but I have been talking to Denny,” she said, seeming to ignore his joke. “I've found out things I didn't know. Found out that I was wrong about you and that I was wrong to push you away.” She brushed her hand over her head, pushing her short hair away from her face. It immediately fell back, framing her thick-lashed eyes. A flush heightened the color of her cheeks, and as she looked at him he sensed a shift in the atmosphere. A return to the awareness that had once arced between them.

He tried to fight it, but found himself slowly drawn back to her.

“What makes you say that?” Nate prompted, not sure if the knock to his head was making him delusional or if she was backtracking from what she had said yesterday.

Or maybe she just felt sorry for him.

“I found out about your visit to the Miedema place,” she continued. “With Lacy.”

He frowned, then winced as pain stabbed behind his eyeballs. “Sorry,” he said, “I don't know where you're going with this.”

Then, to his surprise, she took his hand in hers. “Do you have time to listen to me?”

“I'm not allowed to leave the hospital until tonight, so yeah, I got time.”

Mia's laugh ignited a faint spark of hope. Then her expression grew serious.

“I don't know exactly where to start,” she said, gently running her hand over his. “I feel foolish but I need to tell you how things looked for me. Why I said you should leave.” She paused, her eyes lowered, watching her hand as it traced the scars on the back of his hand. Some of which came from working with his horses.