50 Ways to Play (5 page)

29. A BDSM Sex Toy Box

BDSM doesn’t pack lightly. It is a sexual sport that requires a disrespectable wardrobe (see
#23
) and, more importantly, a wide range of accessories. The following is a summarized shopping list of BDSM sex toys that couples may want to stock in their adult toy box (see
#2
). A brief description of each item, including instructions and ideas for use,
may be found below or in other parts of the book, as indicated.

While restraints and erotic aids are fundamental to BDSM sexplay, newcomers should not let their reluctance to visit a sex shop or make a XXX online purchase stop them from getting in the game. With a little imagination—and a dirty mind—low-cost, readily available G-rated items can be substituted during play. These kinds of alternatives
are suggested below and throughout the book.

For Both:

Restraint Gear
Bondage equipment is a defining part of BDSM sexplay. Couples can invest in leather wrist and ankle restraints, although plastic dollar-store toy handcuffs will do too. An under-the-bed restraint system, either professional or improvised (see
#5
), is essential. High-quality rope—the type that is used in Japanese rope
binding—should be on your wish list, although cotton rope is an economical, widely available alternative (see
#6
and
#34
).

Another option is to visit a fabric store and purchase several long, skinny lengths of fabric that can be used in lieu of rope. This lets couples experiment with the way different fabrics feel against the body and the genitals. It also helps a female submissive look her
best and most fashionable, even under BDSM duress.

Specially designed BDSM suspension equipment is available, and door jam cuffs are a great item; however, small lengths of rope or fabric (as above) can be tied to regular door hooks and then wrapped around the submissive’s wrists to secure his or her arms overhead. A shower rod can also be used to hold up a submissive’s arms (see
#8
). Arm
binders offer added excitement and visual appeal. Leg-spreader bars—a rigid bar with ankle cuffs on either end—add edgy novelty to the bondage experience.

Sensory Deprivation Gear
BDSM play delivers extreme sensation—and when one sense is restricted, the others are amplified. A blindfold is a mandatory BDSM accessory, while hoods, muzzles and mouth gags are optional for beginners (see
#10
).

Personal Lubricant
Good-quality personal lubricants are helpful during sexplay. Water-based lubes are generally best and are compatible with most sex toys, including those made of latex and silicone. Silicone-based lubes are ideal for aqua sex, but will break down toys made of silicone. Oil and petroleum-based lubes can cause staining and infection and are not recommended. A thick artificial
personal lubricant is essential when engaging in anal play or penetration (see
#42
and
#43
). Choose one that is designed specifically for anal sex.

Some personal lubes have warming or cooling properties in addition to lubrication. These can be used during intercourse (see
#36
) or to enhance manual stimulation of both men (see
#30
) and women. Other personal lubricants pull double duty as massage
lotion, although these do not tend to be as good as real massage oil.

Straight Vibrator
Nonintimidating, versatile and effective, this is the classic sex toy. It can be used to tease the nipples and the genitals. On women, a straight vibrator can provide vibrating sensation to the clitoris and then slip inside the vagina for internal pleasure. On men, a straight vibrator can be rolled along
an erect shaft and over the glans. It can also be rolled over and under the scrotum, and then pressed against the perineum to stimulate the prostate (see
#42
).

Spanking Toys
Erotic spanking is a hallmark of BDSM and impact toys can maximize sensation while exploiting the power imbalance between the dominant and submissive. There is a wide variety of both BDSM paddles and improvised items,
including kitchen utensils, that can be used (see
#12
).

Flogging Instruments
Canes and whips, especially whips with long tasseled ends, can be used instead of, or in conjunction with, spanking tools to increase sensation and immerse partners in the BDSM experience. Makeshift floggers include bunches of dried grasses (see
#13
).

Ticklers
Ticklers come in a variety of styles and materials.
They can be as expensive and exotic as ostrich or peacock feathers, or as inexpensive and common as a maid’s feather duster (see
#32
). When combined with bondage and restraint, tickling allows a dominant to subject a submissive to exquisite erotic torture (see
#33
).

Probes
Often used in anal play (see
#42
), probes are available in an almost endless selection of styles. Many are designed to
stimulate the prostate. Probes designed for vaginal use are designed to stroke a woman’s G-spot.

Butt Plugs
Cursed with the ugliest name in the sex toy industry, butt plugs are nonetheless a popular toy for anal sex play (see
#43
). At first glance, they look like a monstrous tack that a sadistic kid might put on a teacher’s chair. They’re designed to hit the same spot, too. If you’re into
anal play, or schoolteacher fantasies, you’ll want to add one to your stash.

Anal Beads
These come as a string of beads that are often graduated from small to larger. They are designed to slip into the anus and may stay in place, slide in and out or be withdrawn during orgasm (see
#43
).

Glass Toys
Blessed with the loveliest appearance of all erotic aids, glass toys—often made of ultra-hygienic
Pyrex—are perfect for temperature play. Their aesthetic appeal is perfect for discerning BDSM sophisticates. Glass jewelry can sometimes be substituted (see
#18
).

Electrosex Products
The practice of erotic electrostimulation or “electrosex” is, relatively speaking, a newcomer to the BDSM world. Nonetheless, it hasn’t taken long for a variety of electrosex products—from penis bands to sex
clamps—to appear on the sex toy market (see
#31
).

Candles
Properly wicked soy candles are suitable for temperature and wax play because, unlike paraffin or beeswax candles, they will not burn the skin (see
#16
).

For Her:

The Rabbit Vibrator
This type of vibrator is guaranteed to quickly bring almost any woman to orgasm. It consists of a rotating shaft and a two-pronged clitoral
stimulator in the shape of rabbit ears, thus providing simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation. When slid inside a restrained female submissive, she will have little choice but to succumb to the tag-team pleasure of the deep turning shaft and the gentle vibrations of the rabbit ears. To simulate the action of the rabbit ears, an electric toothbrush can be used on a woman’s clitoris (see
#34
).

The Remote-Controlled Bullet Vibrator
Good things really do come in small packages. The bullet or egg vibrator slips inside a woman’s vagina to provide discreet stimulation. And when her dominant is at the controls, the pleasure is as unpredictable as it is unstoppable. Some bullet vibrators attach to the crotch area of panties, so there is a make and model to suit every woman and sexual
purpose (see
#21
).

Dildos
Dildos are phallic-looking sex toys. Some resemble real penises, while others have more of a novelty appeal in terms of size and color. Many boast bumps or other textures to enhance pleasure. Strap-on dildos are often used in BDSM sexplay, especially for more hard-core scenes where a female dominant “penetrates” a male submissive (see
#43
).

Nipple Clamps, Toys
& Gels
There is a plethora of products designed for nipple stimulation. From simple alligator clamps and suction mini-cups to vibrating clips and stimulating lotions, nipple toys provide a hands-free way for a dominant to ensure his submissive’s most sensitive areas remain stimulated. A range of common items from wooden clothespins to kitchen tongs can also be used for nipple stimulation (see
#15
).

Clitoral Stimulating Gels, Creams or Lotions
These products produce a tingling sensation that intensifies clitoral arousal. They are best used during fingering and intercourse, as their taste and effect may bother a man who is performing cunnilingus. A man who uses a strong mint mouthwash prior to cunnilingus can treat his woman to a similar tingling experience without having his tongue
go numb while performing oral sex.

Ben Wa Balls
Ben Wa balls slip inside a woman’s vagina to produce constant internal pleasure. They are the perfect complements to delayed gratification (see
#3
), erotic torture (see
#33
) and cunnilingus (see
#40
). They may be made of rubber, plastic or glass, and some models vibrate for extra sensation.

For Him:

Penis Stimulating Gel, Cream or
Lotion
These products create a tingling sensation on an erect shaft, thereby intensifying arousal and increasing sensitivity. These are best used during manual manipulation (see
#30
) and intercourse (see
#36
), as their taste and effect may be unpleasant to a woman performing fellatio. A woman can bring a tingling sensation to fellatio by using a minty mouthwash or sucking on a strong mint before
performing oral sex.

Penis Pumps & Male Masturbators
Male masturbators or “pocket pussies” replicate a woman’s vagina, mouth or anus. They are made of various construction materials and often boast multi-textured “insides” alongside a vibration or suction function. Penis pumps are most often suction cylinders into which a man slides his shaft. They are used for self-pleasure, to temporarily
increase the size of an erection, or for personal discipline. These should be used according to directions—never use too much pressure or leave on for too long. Personal lubricant is required for use with these items.

A female dominant can use these kinds of erotic aids to watch a man masturbate (see
#26
), for orgasm control (see
#28
) or to add variety to a hand job (see
#30
). Using such
a device on a bound or restrained male submissive can exacerbate his sense of helplessness and can therefore complement force fantasies (see
#27
). For that reason, male masturbators are valuable and versatile BDSM toys for female dominants.

A female dominant can reproduce the effect of a penis sleeve by applying a generous heaping of personal lubricant to a smoothly textured facecloth, folding
the facecloth into a cylinder, and then sliding it up and down her male submissive’s shaft.

Penis Rings
Penis or cock rings fit around the penis and are made of leather, metal, rubber, latex, jelly or silicone. They wrap around the base of the penis, under the scrotum, to trap blood in the shaft. The result is a longer, harder, thicker and ultrasensitive erection. Many penis rings have ticklers
or small vibrators to stimulate a woman’s clitoris during intercourse. Choose a waterproof model that offers quiet use and multiple levels of sensation.

A tasty alternative is to visit a candy store and buy some gummy rings: these can be stretched to fit around the base of the penis and can be nibbled off during fellatio. From peach to blue raspberry, these can make fellatio a delicious experience
for both partners. The weight-watching dominatrix can buy sugar-free gummy rings if she prefers.

Beginners should only leave penis rings on for a short while, and should only purchase one that has a quick-release safety feature. Penis rings can be used during intercourse, fellatio and manual manipulation (see
#30
). They can also be used to assist with delayed gratification (see
#3
).

30. The Power Pull

A female dominant who wants to inflame her male submissive’s passion—and his penis—should first secure his restraint to either the bed in a supine spread-eagle position (see
#5
), in a seated position by tying him to a chair with rope (see
#6
) or with his hands over his head (see
#8
). Once he is in place, she should slip a penis ring over his semi-erect
shaft, and then fellate him until he hardens. When he is fully erect, she can begin to stroke his erection with either a warming lubricant or a penis-stimulating gel (see
#29
) to send shivers of tingles up and down the ultrasensitive skin of his shaft.

As her submissive’s penis becomes more engorged, the female dominant should use alternating upward-only “milking” hand strokes with up-and-down
hand pumps. She can add occasional twists to his glans, and squeezes to his scrotum, to deliver unexpected spikes of body-shaking sensation. This power-pull is suitable for delayed gratification (see
#3
), orgasm control (see
#28
) and general feel-good fun.

To up the ante, a female dominant can first restrain her male submissive and—instead of a penis ring and stimulating gel—use a well-lubricated
male masturbation toy to stimulate him either to orgasm or to the point of arousal that she wants him to reach. Penis pumps are particularly useful for domination purposes and power plays (see
#30
). They perfectly complement force fantasies (see
#27
) and erotic torture (see
#33
), as the female dominant can control the amount of suction her male submissive feels on his shaft. Especially when combined
with bondage, a penis pump puts a female dominant in complete control.

31. Erotic Electrostimulation

Erotic electrostimulation or “electrosex” is a BDSM practice wherein ultra-mild electrical currents stimulate the genitals. Because this edgy form of sexplay has inherent dangers, couples must only use high-quality e-stim products—including power boxes, accessories and electrosex gel—from reputable sources, such as established sex shops. So no,
you can’t put the dog’s anti-bark collar on your husband and make him bark on all fours. This is one area where improvisation is not a good idea. It is generally recommended that electrosex products be applied only from the waist down to limit any risk to those with heart conditions. Scared yet? Relax. With research, proper equipment and safe use, electrosex can add a real charge to the BDSM experience.

E-stimulation products for men include penis bands that fit around the shaft. The electrical pulses run between the bands to create an intensely pleasurable and unique sensation. The current’s settings are adjustable. Penis sheaths and rings are also available and function similarly. There are also scrotal toys or “parachutes” that wrap around the scrotum, pull it down and away from the body,
and then tingle it with currents. They’re useless for skydiving, though.

E-stimulation products for women include bullets and probes for vaginal insertion, and clamps for external vaginal stimulation. E-stimulation wands and butt plugs are also available.

Newcomers to erotic electrostimulation may wish to purchase an electrosex beginner’s kit. These usually include a power box, adhesive
pads and a few accessories. Most importantly, they contain comprehensive instructions for use.

Electrosex can add a sexy spark to many aspects of BDSM play, especially delayed gratification (see
#3
) and erotic torture (see
#33
). When combined with bondage and sensory deprivation—even a blindfold will do—it results in an electrifying sexual experience for dominant and submissive alike.