18 Thoughts (My So-Called Afterlife Book 3) (37 page)

“My body feels all tingly. Does your body feel tingly?” I leaned back, examining my hands.

“Here, have something to drink.” He reached for a water on his desk and then handed the bottle to me.

After I took a few long swigs, I felt a little more normal. “So, did you see everything I saw? You were on the beach and on the boat with Olga and me the whole time?”

Nate nodded. “The vision felt real again to me, like the distorted form of a memory, except distorted because you were there. Being with Olga on the beach is your happy place, too? I guess I should’ve thought about that before we started.”

I slid my shoes back on. “Yeah, what’s up with that? You two have never even gone to the beach together, have you?”

“I thought you knew… about us sneaking out together?” He wouldn’t even look me in the eye.

My gut clinched. “Right. Moving on.”
How could she think she’s better off with him?
“I noticed we didn’t even make contact with Riel or any angels. How do we move from visions to entering the spirit realm?”

He sighed and sank back on the plush carpet. “Not sure. That paper in the bottle said it will take faith. We didn’t pray before starting. We should probably pray next time.”

Jumping up, I went over to the corner where my book bag was stashed and slung it over my shoulder. “Olga told me that sometimes, at her church, Father Jamie asks them to fast because some things can only be accomplished through prayer
and
fasting. Something about spiritual discipline being indispensable for accessing God’s power. I think that should be our next step.”

He reached back and grabbed a pack of gum off his desk before popping a piece in his mouth. “Fasting… You mean you don’t think we should eat?”

I checked the time on my phone. “It’s almost eight. I told Olga I’d give her a ride home from work.” Nate’s eyes bugged out of his head for a moment, and I knew my announcement bothered him, which to be honest, is sort of why I mentioned it. “But, yeah, you can fast one meal or not eat until we do this again tomorrow. It’s up to you. I’ve seen Olga do it for twenty-four hours before, and she was fine. Drank plenty of water, obviously. I can give you a lift home again tomorrow, and we’ll give it another try.”

“Can’t wait.”

I’d have to be an idiot to miss the sarcasm in his voice. “Cool. Don’t forget to say your prayers tonight like a good boy.”

“Life is made of ever so many
pairings wielded together.”
—Charles Dickens

Nate

eat ripped through my body. I knew I was being a moron. Knew a demon possessed Olga. Could hear her faint thoughts of apology to me inside her somewhere. But seeing her legs draped across Conner’s lap, her arm around his neck, drove me crazy.

I narrowed my eyes at Conner, assigning the blame to him. He knew we started dating while he was gone. So he should respect some boundaries, but instead, he took full advantage of the situation. Pissed me off. But I also couldn’t do anything. I wasn’t going to play into the demon’s hands and risk Olga’s soul by causing a scene. Deep down inside, part of me knew Conner probably thought the same thing. That playing along was best for Olga. So I bit my tongue from across the lunch table to prevent myself from saying anything stupid and imagined my fist connecting with Conner’s face multiple times when this was all over.

When the bell rang a few hours later, I actually shouted, “Thank God!”

Earned me some quizzical stares, laughs, and a scolding look from my teacher, but I didn’t care. Never had a school day felt so long. The whole lunch experience from earlier in the day created a complete buzzkill between Conner and me on the drive to my house. Not that we ever had great chemistry, except we loved to hate each other. Add that to the fact neither one of us ate during lunch so we could fast, and you got two very grumpy teen boys trying to enter the spirit realm today. Not ideal conditions, which Conner seemed to realize as I pulled into my driveway.

“You gonna keep up the silent treatment all afternoon?”

I got out and slammed the door. “Please, you deserve way more than that. I’m letting you off easy in the interest of Olga.”

Conner shoved the hair out of his eyes as we stepped inside my house. “Guess I’m an idiot for complaining about you not talking to me, but I have this strange compulsion to explain myself to you. You realize Olga and I have loved each other since the first day of kindergarten, right? This isn’t really a new thing. You and her are the new thing.”

Now I slammed the door to my bedroom. “You’re really cracked if you think demon-possessed Olga picking you over me is how a good relationship works.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is now you know what it feels like being on the other side, and you’ve known Olga for less than a year. Imagine knowing her for practically your whole life, waking up from a coma finally ready to tell her you love her, only to lose her to the new kid in town because you’re being possessed by a demon and hurting her all the time. Hurt something fierce, man. So excuse me if I’m enjoying giving you a little taste of your own medicine.”

I pulled the string attached to the light/fan combo on my ceiling and plopped down on the carpet. “Whatever. I hope you realize I can take you with my eyes closed, and I will after this is all over.”

He waved his hand in front of his face as he sat across from me, like we’d said enough. “I just hope you can channel some of that cockiness today and be bold enough to get us into the spirit realm and demand an audience with a freakin’ angel.”

I gave him a little nod. “I can. But you’ll have to control your thoughts. If you listen only with your mind, then fear and disbelief will probably make their way into your subconscious. But if you listen with your feelings, then you can tap into your concern for Olga’s soul and soften the lines between the realms.”

He twisted the cap off a Mountain Dew he brought with him and took a swig. “Right. Exactly what I was thinking.”

Douche.
“Let’s get this over with. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and just listen. Give full attention to your intentions with Olga, and don’t forget to pray this time like a good little boy.”

He smirked at my use of his joke, then closed his eyes, and I used the sudden quiet to forget about him and follow my own instructions. I listened to the sounds around me, to my slowing breaths, to my heartbeat, to the howl of the wind outside, to the cars going by on the nearby road, to the laughter of kids playing in the neighbor’s yard. I kept taking those long, slow breaths, just listening, as I focused on my intentions for Olga, to rescue her soul. I allowed the listening to expand beyond my mind, beyond my own breath, my intention. I focused intensely until I became oblivious to my physical surroundings, and then I muttered a prayer.

The moment I opened my eyes I felt it: a swirling air brushing my cheek. I stiffened. A coldness starting in my chest spread through my veins like a doctor injected it with a needle. As the feeling crystallized my insides, I swallowed my fear and reminded myself of positive thoughts.
I will receive exactly what I need. Angels are nearby. I am safe here.

A feeling of vertigo washed over me as I hesitantly looked around. This meditative state wasn’t like the one Olga and I ventured into previous times, where we visited new places together. Instead, Conner and I stayed in my bedroom, except my room didn’t exist in the same manner in the spirit realm. Images were disproportionate, like reflections stretched in a carnival mirror. And rather than being lit by my lamp shining in the human plane, an omnipresent white glow illuminated the atmosphere, similar to the way beams of light streamed from a stadium in the distance.

Supernatural movement, a fleeting form I could see through, floated just outside my window. I squinted into the haze and made out a few dark shapes near the fish pond in my backyard, and I remembered in that moment I needed to pray. Across from me, Conner nodded, like he had the same exact thought.

By some divine intervention, I felt the words forming on my lips with no effort, despite my fear. A moment later, an angel popped in front of us. His arms and legs resembled polished gold, his face lightning. Radiating light bounced off his wings until he landed on the carpet, and the wings folded into themselves, the brightness disappearing with them so I could actually see his more human face. It took me a minute to realize the angel was actually Riel, and I almost had the inclination to throw myself at this feet, elated we were finally about to get some answers.

“Is this the right guy?” Conner whispered. “I was expecting to see a tiny cherub like we studied in art class.”

Riel narrowed his eyes at him. “Just for the record, I never really liked you.”

I sucked in a breath, pushing to my feet so I could speak with him, man to man, but he still towered over me. “So you do know us? Are you my… I mean… our… guardian angel?”

He squinted at me. “I’m much more powerful than your typical guardian. Usually, this sort of visit is out of my jurisdiction.”

“Right.” I raised my eyebrows. “Why did you come then?”

Riel smirked. “Olga may have slightly distracted me from my normal duties. It’s important for me to tell you how to get rid of that pesky little demon permanently.”

I nodded and shoved my hands in my jeans pockets, thinking of what to say next, but Conner beat me to the punch.

“So you know all about the three of us. Are you the one causing Nate’s mind reading, the visions, the memory flashbacks? Did you send those files they found in Sean’s cabin?”

Riel rubbed a hand over his face. “The bottom line is I’m bound by spiritual law, prohibiting me from giving many answers. Fabricated or not, you were never supposed to see those reports. I certainly didn’t send them.” Glancing at my alarm clock, he pursed his lips. “The thing you must understand is you’re living a life where past, present, and future are fused together in timeless unity. Nate hearing Olga’s thoughts is indeed a result of that fusion.”

I wanted to bang my head on the wall at his vague explanations. “Okay, so our visions feel more like memories because of this fusion then, from a time in the past we don’t remember?”

Riel took a deep breath. “It’s your consciousness and her consciousness coming together, recognizing your souls are linked together from a past experience. It’s like your human psyche is trying to work out the puzzle, piece by piece.”

I looked at him, trying to process his explanation. “So we’ll always have these visions? I’ll always be able to hear Olga’s thoughts?”

“No. The Man upstairs put an expiration date on your ability to read her thoughts. That little side effect will end a year from the day you met this past May, in this present time. As for the visions, I believe those will cease after the fusion of your past and present experiences are complete.”

The levelheaded side of me felt relieved. I knew Olga hated that I could read her mind, but I would miss her thoughts and our visions. “Great. So how many things did we do together?”

Looking me over, Riel laughed. “Well, she had a task of eighteen things, but you didn’t do all of them together.”

“And you said the Man upstairs gave me this ability? As in, God? Why?”