1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (26 page)

Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).

“Low Testosterone Could Kill You,” ABC News, June 6, 2007,
http://abcnews.go.com
.

Eric R. Braverman, Younger You: Unlock the Hidden Power of Your Brain to Look and Feel 15 Years Younger (McGraw-Hill Professional, 2006).

“Male Menopause,” Cleveland Clinic,
www.my.clevelandclinic.org
.

168

FACT :
Some men can experience retrograde ejaculation, or “dry orgasms,” when
semen travels backwards into the bladder
instead of being expelled. The illness can be congenital, or caused by medications, diabetes, or damage to nerves and muscles that control the opening of the bladder. It isn’t harmful, but it can cause male infertility.
You’d think that any orgasm would be good. You’d be wrong.

“Richard D. McAnulty and M. Michele Burnette, Sex and Sexuality: Sexual Function and Dysfunction (Greenwood Publishing Group, 2006).

“Retrograde Ejaculation,” Mayo Clinic,
www.mayoclinic.com
.

169

FACT :
Sexual dysfunction, which includes erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, dyspareu-nia (vaginal pain during intercourse), low sexual desire, and other conditions, occurs in
31 percent of men and 43 percent of women
.
Men, if you experience vaginal pain during intercourse, talk to your gynecologist. Or a shrink.

Glen O. Gabbard, Judith S. Beck and Jeremy Holmes, Oxford Textbook of Psychotherapy (Oxford University Press, 2007).

170

FACT :
Premature ejaculation is the
most commonly reported sexual dysfunction in men
, affecting one in five. Some researchers attribute the problem to unhealthy masturbation habits and sexual insecurities.
Don’t confuse premature ejaculation with premature evacuation—being so nervous about sex that you crap yourself.

Glen O. Gabbard, Judith S. Beck and Jeremy Holmes, Oxford Textbook of Psychotherapy (Oxford University Press, 2007).

171

FACT :
A recent study comparing the effectiveness of oral contraceptives as they relate to body mass index (BMI) shows that obese or overweight women are up to
70 percent more likely to experience contraception failure
and resulting pregnancy than women of average weight.
Fortunately, obese people start with the most effective contraceptive of all: obesity.

Larissa R. Brunner Huber and Jessica L. Toth, “Obesity and Oral Contraceptive Failure: Findings from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth,” American Journal of Epidemiology, June 29, 2007,
http://contraception.about.com
.

172

FACT :
Keeping a condom in your wallet is a bad idea. The constant friction and temperature changes
can create microscopic tears
in the condom that allow sperm to get through.
No one who carries a condom in his wallet should be procreating anyway, at least not until he finishes high school.

David Zieve, Greg Juhn, and David R. Eltz, “Condoms,” Med-line Plus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, February 19, 2008,
www.nlm.nih.gov
.

173

FACT :
The sudden appearance of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) in a monogamous couple does not necessarily indicate infidelity by either partner. Some infections
can lie dormant for years
after initial exposure.
That’s what I told my wife right before she hit me. I guess she wasn’t convinced.