1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (11 page)

CHAPTER 2
Every Little
Thing We Do
Is Tragic
Human (Mis)
Behaviors

51

FACT :
More American teenagers are killed in
car accidents
than by any other cause, accounting for more than one in three fatalities. Risk of accident is highest in the first year that a teen drives, and increases with the number of teenage passengers in a car with an unsupervised teen driver.
Risk of accident is also high in the last year that a person drives, and increases with the number of imaginary passengers in the car.

“Teen Drivers: Fact Sheet,” Motor Vehicle Safety, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, January 26, 2009,
www.cdc.gov
.

52

FACT :
Roughly 100 people die every year by
choking on ball-point pens
.
Even more tragic: it’s usually the only pen they have on them, so they can forget writing a quick farewell note to their loved ones as they are choking.

Mitchell Symons, This Book: . . . of More Perfectly Useless Information (HarperCollins, 2005).

53

FACT :
Some scientists view love in terms of addiction, and they might be right. One study discovered that monogamous pairing is based in the
same region of the brain as drug addiction
. Losing your love can be like experiencing withdrawal.
And for some, getting divorced can feel like taking ecstasy.

Susana Martinez-Conde and Stephen L. Macknik, “Optical Illusions and the Illusion of Love,” Scientific American, February 12, 2009,
www.sciam.com
.

54

FACT :
Studies that examined what victims of a heart attack were doing and feeling in the hours preceding the event found
acute emotional stress
to be a common trigger. In one study, more than half of subjects reported being very upset or under great stress in the 24 hours before their attack.
But probably not as upset as they were during and after the attack.

Michael Feld and Johann Caspar Rüegg, “Head Attack,” Scientific American, June 2005,
www.sciam.com
.

55

FACT :
Eating and drinking while driving is a serious problem. Most incidents occur while
drivers are on their way to work
. If they spill something on their work clothes, they’re more likely to try to remove the stain, become distracted, and cause an accident.
Hence these ridiculous wrinkle- and stain-resistant clothes that retailers are selling now. Sorry, guys, if I want a shirt that wears like a cardboard box, I’ll just Scotchgard it myself.

“The 10 Most Dangerous Foods to Eat While Driving,”
Insurance.com
, March 2, 2007,
www.insurance.com
.

56

FACT :
A 2000 survey on driving habits ranks tuning the radio as the most common distraction, with over
60 percent of drivers
admitting that they do it. Other distractions noted include eating while driving (57 percent do it), and turning around to talk with passengers (56 percent). Surprisingly, only a third of drivers listed talking on a cell phone as a distraction.
Because the other two-thirds of cell users aren’t distracted at all. They give the phone call their full attention while barreling their car through anything in the way: stop signs, yield signs, road construction crews, aging pedestrians, dogs, children, the blind, traffic cops, bicyclists, unicyclists, juggling unicyclists, mimes, midget parades, clown funerals, etc.

“The 10 Most Dangerous Foods to Eat While Driving,”
Insurance.com
, March 2, 2007,
www.insurance.com
.

57

FACT :
From 2005 to 2006, black Americans had
higher depression rates
(8.0 percent) than whites (4.8 percent). For both whites and blacks living below the poverty line, rates of depression were higher than those with higher incomes.
Now we know why Navin Johnson was so bummed out in
The Jerk
. He was black and poor.

“Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report: Quick Stats,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, October 3, 2008,
www.cdc.gov
.

58

FACT :
Studies show that 87 percent of people fear getting trapped in
dull conversations
at dinner parties.
If someone is boring you to tears, interrupt and ask if he would mind calling you on your cell phone. Tell him you want to check reception. When he does, and your phone rings, answer it and say, “Hello?” Then cover the mouthpiece and say to him, “I need to take this, sorry,” then begin an imaginary conversation and continue it until he gets annoyed and walks away.

Richard Wiseman, Quirkology: How We Discover the Big Truths in Small Things (Basic Books, 2008).

59

FACT :
President Ronald Reagan allowed
astrologers to influence
some of his decisions, including the timing of international summits, presidential announcements, and the schedule of Air Force One.
I’ll take astrologers over Karl Rove.