1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (22 page)

“Bacteria in Urine, No Symptoms,” University Of Michigan Health System,
www.med.umich.edu
.

139

FACT :
Research suggests that marital discord makes wounds heal more slowly. A recent study showed that couples with consistently hostile behaviors healed at a
40 percent slower rate
than low-hostility couples.
Which means you’re gonna have that shoe mark on your forehead for a while, bud.

J.K. Kiecolt-Glase, “Hostile Marital Interactions, Proinflam-matory Cytokine Production, and Wound Healing,” Archives of General Psychiatry, December 2005,
http://.archpsyc
.ama-assn.org.

140

FACT :
Goose bumps are caused by piloerection, a fight-or-flight reflex that once
made us seem bigger to predators
and kept us warm by making our hair stand straight up. We lost the fur in evolution, but not the reflex.
And I’m okay with that. If I get cold, I’d rather put on a sweater than be a sweater.

Mitchell Symons, That Book: . . . of Perfectly Useless Information (HarperCollins, 2004).

“What causes goose bumps?” Advice, Mens Health,
www.menshealth.com
.

141

FACT :
The average human loses
85,000 brain cells
each day, but only regenerates 50 new ones.
Which is a lot like my 401(k)— except for the regenerating part.

”Statistically Speaking: Brains Made To Order,” Popular Science, September 2005.

142

FACT :
Babies are
born without kneecaps
—sort of. They have cartilage in their kneecaps which does not ossify into bone until 3–5 years of age.
This explains why infants are notorious gamblers. They don’t have to worry about having their kneecaps broken if they don’t pay their bookies.

Noel Botham, The Ultimate Book of Useless Information: A Few Thousand More Things You Might Need to Know (But Probably Don’t) (Perigee, 2007).

Tom Scheve, “Do Babies Have Kneecaps?”
HowStuffWorks.com
,
www.health.howstuffworks.com
.

143

FACT :
Your nose can remember
50,000 different scents
.
So, unlike a dog, once you sniff someone’s crotch, you’ll remember the smell and won’t have to sniff them again later. That’s a good thing, because sticking your nose in someone’s crotch is a good way to get thrown out of a bar, trust me.

“Sixteen Unusual Facts About The Human Body,”
HowStuffWorks.com
,
www.health.howstuffworks.com
.

144

FACT :
About i in 2,000 babies is
born with teeth
. If the teeth are membranous, they will be reabsorbed into the body. If fixed firmly, don’t remove them, or no other teeth will reappear in their place until the permanent teeth start to come in at age six or seven.
It’s easy to spot a baby with teeth. He’s the one drinking from a bottle instead of breastfeeding.

Adele Pillitteri. Maternal & Child Health Nursing: Care of the Childbearing & Childrearing Family, 5th ed. (Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2006).

145

FACT :
The occurrence of Type 2 Diabetes in children, once unheard of, has risen
45 percent
in this country in the last ten years, largely due to soaring obesity rates among our kids.
Too bad they don’t let kids play dodgeball in school anymore. They’d have a lot more targets than when I was a kid.

Katherine Robertson, “Is Your Child a Health Statistic? 4 Scary Facts, 8 Real Solutions, ” Gaiam Life,
www.life.gaiam.com
.