Your Man Chose Me (3 page)

 

It's funny how a nigga can be all sweet in the beginning, but as soon as the kids come along they start acting funny. Ever since I had my daughter, Anthony's ass had been showing out. First he became angry that I was pregnant. He even went as far as accusing me of trapping him because of his money.

“Bitch, you lied to me. You told me you was on the pill,” he yelled.

“Boy, fuck you. I didn't fucking lie. Take that shit up with the people who make the pills. What the fuck I look like trapping you?” I spat.

“Man, I swear, you better get your ass on that pill or something, 'cause if you don't I am not fucking you raw anymore. I ain't trying to just have kids popping out every fucking year. I want to be able to take care of my fucking kids. This ain't any life for them. I'm in the fucking streets,” he lashed out.

“Get a fucking job then. Ain't nobody tell your ass to be in the fucking streets. You chose that life, boo-boo.” I swear I was tired of him and his accusations. He acted like I held him down and raped him. If he wanted to be such a great fucking parent, he would give up hustling. Shit, we had enough money to move away and live comfortably. In my book it was all just excuses.

Shit really hit the fan when I ended up pregnant with my second child. He threatened to leave, but I knew he was bluffing. This pussy was too good and that nigga was not leaving his kids so he needed to quit with all that shit.

After I had my second daughter, things kind of got better. We started spending more time around each other. I kind of felt bad that I lied to him about being on the pill. The second time I got pregnant, I put a hole in the condom. I knew that if we had the children, I would be set for life. There was no way I was going back to being broke ever again! Not this bitch.

He also was trying to leave the streets alone. He went and enrolled in Georgia Tech. He wanted to study to become an engineer. I ain't goin' to lie, I was happy that he was leaving the streets alone; but I wasn't happy that the money was going to slow down. I stayed cool though, because he was still doing a little something on the side. I learned that his boys were doing most of the dirty work and he just collected the money.

After spending the weekend with Micah, my feelings for him had gotten stronger. It was easy because he treated me so good. He didn't think twice when spending money on me and he wasn't cheap either. From the latest designer purses and shoes, if I wanted it, he bought it for me. I wasn't no vain chick, but as a college student I barely had money to get by so I welcomed the change. On our way back from the mall, I was kind of curious about where he worked. I didn't want to be nosey, but fuck it; I needed to know where all this money was coming from.

“Ay, boo, can I ask where you work?”

“Ha-ha, you playing, right?”

“Umm, no. I'm dead-ass serious.”

“I don't work. I got some business in the streets if you know what I mean.”

I wasn't no green chick, so I knew exactly what he meant. My heart skipped a few beats. I'd dated a few dope boys in my younger days, but I wasn't into that anymore. I was not one of those chicks who was going to be up late at night wondering what the fuck done happened to my dude, and I definitely wasn't going to visit him in no jail either.

“I know what you thinking and, trust me, I'm trying to get out of these streets. That's why I decided to go to school, so I can make a life for me and my seeds.”

I looked at him and I saw the sincerity in his eyes. I knew in my heart I was going to help my man get out of these streets. He was better than slinging rocks; plus, his grades were good, so I knew that he was not only street smart but also book smart. There was a time when I would have loved the fact that he was a dope boy, but all that changed after I was fucking this big-time dope boy name Keshaun. One day they burst into his house shooting while he was fucking me. I was lucky that the fat bastard was on top of me and took all the bullets that were sprayed all around the room. I lay there in fear that one of the niggas would check to see if I was alive. God was definitely on my side because they didn't; instead, they just left. That night, I pushed dude's bullet-riddled body off of me, grabbed my clothes, put them on, and ran to my car. I made a promise with God that night that I would never chase dope boys anymore.

“Well, you're grown but, baby, I want a life with you. I can't do that if you stay in these streets. These streets don't love nobody and the jails have a bed available at all times.”

“Damn, ma, you ain't got to get to preaching and shit.” He busted out laughing. This was good, because most days he barely smiled and looked like the world was on his shoulders.

“I ain't preaching. I'm just trying to save my man, that's all. We can make it in this life without dope money. We are a power couple,” I confirmed.

“I love that, a power couple,” he repeated and smiled.

The rest of the ride to my house was quiet. We were both lost in our thoughts. That was until his phone kept vibrating back to back. Whoever it was wasn't letting up.

“Damn, somebody trying to reach you bad.”

“Yeah, that's my baby mama, tryin'a argue. I ain't got time for that shit.”

He cut the music up to drown out the constant buzzing of the phone. I closed my eyes, listening to the soft music of Sade that was playing.

I was sick of this nigga and his shit. It was a few minutes past nine and his bum ass still ain't get here yet. I told him earlier that me and my girls were tryin'a go to Pappadeaux to eat. I dialed his number once again, but still there was no answer.

“Listen to me, you no-good-ass nigga, I know you out fucking with some bitch while your sorry behind should be watching your fucking kids. I swear to God this shit is over. I swear on my mama.”

I was beyond pissed when I hung the phone up. I dialed my mama's number, even though I didn't want to bring my kids around all that drinking. There was no way I was going to stay in this house tonight.

“Hello,” she mumbled.

“Are you sleeping? I need a favor.” I didn't give her a chance to answer.

“Child, what is it?”

“I need you to watch your grandbabies for a little while.”

There was a brief pause on the phone.

“I'll pay you,” I blurted out.

“Well, what's a little while?”

“About three hours. Me and the girls are going out to eat and their daddy is nowhere to be found.”

“All right. I guess I'll get up then. Bring them on over.”

I hung up, still fuming with anger. I shouldn't have had to go through this when they got a daddy who should have be here watching them. I swore that nigga was going to pay for all the shit he put me through.

* * *

I got to Mama's house in Stone Mountain in no time. I quickly brought them to the door. I didn't have time to sit and chat because I had to go home and get ready. Tonight was important 'cause I barely ever got to see my girls and I missed hanging out with them. I rang the doorbell and waited for her to open the door.

“Hey, babies.” She took my youngest, Diamond, out of my arms.

“They already ate and I bathed them. They have snacks in their bag.”

I turned around to leave when she grabbed my arm. “Baby, where is that man at and why is he not helping you with these babies?”

“Mama, your guess is as good as mine. I don't know where he at. I've been calling him and he ain't picking up the phone.”

“I tell you, you be playing with his ass. You need to put your damn foot down and make him help you take care of these children.”

“I got to go.” I kissed my babies and ran away from the house. I wasn't going to sit there and listen to her talk about my baby daddy. Shit, I didn't need anyone to tell me that he was a piece of shit. I knew that right after I had Diamond. I wasn't no fool though; I wasn't leaving him so my girls could grow up without having their daddy around. Shit, we were in this for the long haul, whether he liked it or not.

* * *

“Hey, guys, sorry I'm late,” I said as I joined Meme, Seika, and Lori at the table. These three bitches and I had been rocking since I moved to Lithonia a few years ago. Lately we hadn't really been chilling 'cause I had the kids and they were either working or booed up.

“So what y'all eating?” I quizzed them.

“I don't know. Let's see what they got,” Lori said.

“So, Yana, what's going on wit' you? You seem a little stressed out. I hope you ain't tripping over no nigga.”

“Hell nah, you know I don't trip no over no nigga. I'm good, just a little tired,” I lied. I loved my bitches, but there was no way that I was going to let them know what I'd been going through with Anthony lately.

Our food came and we ate, laughed, and drank alcohol. It definitely felt good to get away from being a mommy for a while. After we were finished, we paid and called it a night.

“It was great seeing y'all tonight. Let's do this again soon.”

“Yes, we should,” they all said in unison.

I got into my car and pulled off. I checked my phone and noticed that I had three missed calls from Anthony.
I know this nigga ain't have the nerve to call me,
I thought as I threw the phone on the other seat. I thought about getting the kids, but it was after twelve and I didn't want to wake them up. I decided to go get them first thing in the morning.

As I drove down the street, tears filled my eyes. I remembered when shit was good between Anthony and me. When he treated me like a queen. How could we go from sugar to shit that fast? How could this dude treat the mother of his children like this?

When I pulled up, I noticed that his Charger was parked in the driveway. I swear I wasn't in the mood to fight with this nigga. I opened my door and got out. I kind of stumbled from the effect of the alcohol that I had consumed earlier. I opened the door and walked in. I thought about letting shit fly but decided not to; this nigga needed to hear it. I walked upstairs where he was sitting on the bed.

“Yo, where the fuck was you at earlier? I know yo' ass seen me calling.”

“Yo, B, lower your voice, and who you talking to like that?” he yelled.

“I ain't got to lower shit. I was calling you for your fucking kids. You knew you was supposed to watch them. Remember?”

“Yo, I got caught up handling some business.”

“Ha-ha, you're a fucking joke. I hope that bitch you was laid up with is worth you losing your fucking kids, 'cause I'm leaving and I'm taking them with me,” I spat.

He got up and took a step closer to me. “B, I said I was handling some business, but let's get this fucking clear: you ain't taking my kids anywhere, you hear me? I don't give a fuck if you leave, but they ain't going anywhere. Speaking of kids, where they at?”

“Boy, fuck you. I pushed them out my pussy, so I'll take them wherever the fuck I please. I'm not one of these old dumbass bitches 'round here. You better ask somebody. I'm the bitch who will get your head knocked off.”

“I ain't tryin'a hear none of that, B. So, I ask again, where are my daughters?”

“They over they grandma house. You wasn't worried about them earlier, so you can give up the ‘worried parent' façade.”

“You got my kids over your drunken mama house? You a stupid-ass female.”

“Really? You ain't had no problem when she watched them when we went on that cruise to the Bahamas. Boy, shut the fuck up with your dumb ass.”

“You right, I am a dumbass nigga for picking up a fucking whore and trying to turn her into a housewife.”

Without thinking, I slapped him across his face. He grabbed my arm before I got the chance to dig my fingernails into his skin. I was trying to draw blood from this nigga.

“Don't you ever put your hands on me, B. I ain't never hit a female before, so please don't push me to make you the first,” he said before he walked away.

“Fuck you, Ant. I swear, fuck you!” I screamed and ran down the stairs to the living room. The words from that nigga stung me so deep. I couldn't believe that he talked to me in that manner.

That night I lay on the couch thinking of all the ways that I was going to get him back. I didn't give a fuck if he was my children's father.

I kind of noticed that Micah was kind of withdrawn. I tried not to intrude because I wanted to be his calm whenever he came around. I wasn't one of those bitches who kept nagging at a nigga. Nah, those the kind of bitches niggas be running from. He wanted peace and quiet, a woman who rubbed his back and helped build up his self-esteem even when he was at his lowest. That chick was me. I made sure that I treated Micah like a king and I barely questioned him about what he did out in those streets. As long as he treated me like a queen, I was good.

I wasn't feeling too good so I decided to stay home. I had never missed a day of class before, so I knew it shouldn't be no biggie. I was feeling nauseated and my head was hurting bad. I wished I could just stick my hand down my throat and throw up; for some reason I felt like it would make me feel better. I cut the TV off, closed my blinds, and crawled back in my bed after I made a cup of peppermint tea.

I heard the phone ringing, and I knew that it was Micah by the Plies's “Good Dick” ringtone that I had set for him. “Hello,” I weakly answered.

“Babe, where you at? Why you not at school, yo?”

“I wasn't feeling good so I decided to stay home.”

“Damn, why didn't you call me?”

“It wasn't anything. I think it's just something that I ate that might've upset my stomach.”

“A'ight, ma, I'm on my way.”

“Nah, Micah, go ahead to your class. I'm fine. Matter of fact, I'm about to go to sleep. I feel really drained.”

“A'ight, ma, I'll be over there later.”

“Okay.”

“Ay, T, I love you.”

I blinked twice because I wasn't sure that I heard him
. Did this dude just tell me he loves me?
I really didn't know what to say. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved him too, but I thought I was moving too fast and I didn't want to scare him off by telling him I loved him. To hear him say it was soothing to my soul.

“Love you too, babe,” I softly said.

After he hung up, I put my head under the cover with sweet thoughts of my man fresh on my mind. I swear, I was so happy that I took a chance with him. This time around it was different. I was actually in love and it wasn't just about his money. I smiled as I dozed off.

* * *

Days went by and the bad feeling wasn't getting any better. I even started to throw up, and the smell of food made me sick to the point where every time I tried to eat I would end up running to the bathroom. After day four, I doubted that it was a bug so I decided to go to my doctor.

“Miss Caldwell, how are you doing today?”

“Not too good, Doc. I think I have a stomach virus.”

“Okay, let the nurse take your vitals and we will go from there.”

The nurse took my vitals and asked me questions about how long I'd been feeling like this. To be honest, I thought this feeling started about two weeks ago.

“Here you go. I need a urine sample.”

“Urine, for what? I think it's something I ate.”

“Yeah, it's no biggie. The doctors just ask me to take a sample.”

“Oh, okay.”

After waiting for about twenty minutes, the nurse called my name. I followed her into the doctor's office.

“Have a seat, Miss Caldwell. Well, congratulations—”

I cut her off before she could finish her sentence. “What are you talking 'bout, lady? What are you congratulating me on?” I eagerly asked.

“You are pregnant.”

“What! This can't be true. I've been using a . . .” My voice trailed off as I remembered a few weeks ago when we decided not to use a condom. It was our first time.

“I know you may not be expecting this, but babies are definitely a blessing. I am going to start you on prenatal vitamins and also schedule you an appointment for an ultrasound in six weeks. In the meantime, crackers and ginger ale will help with the nausea. Drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest.”

“Thanks, Doc,” I managed to utter.

She handed me the prescription and I left the office. It didn't make sense to me at all. I loved fucking, but I never thought about having a child. Furthermore, I was in college and I didn't plan on dropping out to become a mommy. That just wasn't my thing.

During the ride home I kind of entertained the idea of becoming a mommy. I wondered how Micah was going to feel once I told him I was pregnant. I was well aware that he already had two little girls but we never talked about us having any children. Ready or not, this was a conversation that we had to have this evening and not a minute later.

* * *

Micah was on his way over and even though I wasn't feeling too good I got up and showered. No matter how bad I felt, there was no way I was going to let him see me looking crazy. A lot of bitches be dressed to a T when they are trying to get with the man, but the minute they get him they allow themselves to fall off. In my opinion, that's one of the reasons why their men stray.

I took a shower and got dressed in my Victoria's Secret pajamas then I brushed my long mane into a ponytail. I loved how straight my hair was. That was the only thing that I had inherited from that bitch who gave me birth. I quickly put her out of my mind because I did not want to fuck my mood up.

I lay on the couch waiting for Micah to come. An hour had passed since he called and said that he was on the way. I dialed his number and it kept going straight to voicemail. I threw the phone on the couch and turned on the TV. I knew
Blue Bloods
was on so I decided to catch an episode.

I must've fallen asleep because the constant ringing of my phone startled me. I searched and finally grabbed my phone. I glanced at the caller ID and I noticed it was Micah. I also glanced at the time and noticed it was after 12:00 a.m. I picked the phone up even though I was feeling salty.

“Hello,” I answered with annoyance in my voice.

“Babe, I've been calling you. I'm outside. Open the door.”

“A'ight.” I let out a long sigh.

I got up and peeped through the window. I saw him getting out of his car. I tried to straighten up my face, but God knows I was irritated. I ain't that kind of bitch who allows a nigga to play little games with me. I wasn't mad about him being late; it was because he lied and said that he was on the way. I was about to set this nigga straight right now.

I opened the door and he walked in. “Hey, babe.” He leaned over to kiss my face but I moved out of the way. I locked the door behind him then walked toward the living room.

“Babe, I'm sorry I'm late. Something came up and I had to make a detour. I'm sorry, ma.”

“Sit down, Micah. Let me tell you something. I ain't tryin'a put no knot around your neck, but you need to know I'm not the kind of bitch you can play with. If it is just pussy you want then you need to go ahead and make it be known 'cause, truth is, I like you and I'll probably still want to fuck you. But when you sit up in my face telling me how you love me and all that bullshit, it's gon' be a problem if I find out you fucking around. You feel me?” I looked him dead in the eyes.

“T, I'm telling you, ma, I ain't fucking around on you. I love you and I'm trying to be with you, if you allow me to. No shit, ma, you the only chick who can ask me to leave the streets and I'm willing to do it. I love you and, as crazy as it sounds, I want to make you my wife.”

I swear if these words were coming out of another nigga's mouth, I would've sworn he was lying. But I saw the sincerity in his eyes and I didn't sense a bit of deception. Even then, I didn't fall for it because niggas were known to be the best liars I'd known. A nigga will swear on his dead mama or his seed when he's tryin'a convince a chick that he ain't lying. I'd had my share of no-good-ass niggas, so this time around I was more careful not to fall for foolery.

“Well, since you talking marriage and shit, I got something to tell you.”

“What is it? Spit it out,” he demanded.

“I went to the doctor today and found out I'm pregnant.”

“What?” he stuttered as he searched my face.

“You heard me. I found out all that nausea was because I am pregnant.”

“Damn, babe, that's great,” he busted out.

“Really? Boy, you crazy. You already have two kids and we are both in college trying to get our degrees.”

“So what? My kids are taken care of and I'm about to graduate next year. I got money to take care of you and my baby.” He grabbed my hand.

“What, your drug money? I am not bringing a baby into this world with you still running the streets. I'm not one of those greedy bitches who needs a whole lot. I don't want to lose you to the motherfucking streets or prison. You already know how I feel about that. I don't know if I'm ready to have a baby. I just don't know.”

“What you mean, T? You have to have my seed; you can't get rid of my seed. This baby was made out of love. Ma, I will marry you tomorrow to show you how serious I am.”

“I'm not saying that I'm going to have an abortion. I just don't know if I'm ready. I want to finish school and get married. I don't want to be nobody baby mama. I want to be a wife.”

“And that's what I'm trying to make you. Marry me, T.”

“I don't know, Micah. I need time to think about all of this; plus, I don't want to rush and get married. I want a big wedding, on an island somewhere, maybe Jamaica.”

“Ma, I promise, if you have my baby I will make all your wishes come true. I ain't bullshitting you, ma.”

“We will see. Like I said, I have to think about this. This is a big life-altering experience for me.”

“A'ight, that's cool. Just promise me that you will give my seed a chance.”

I didn't respond; instead, I looked at him and smiled. I wanted to believe him, but I decided not to listen to my heart and just follow my mind. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me.

“Babe, I swear, you are a breath of fresh air in my life. A nigga like me need that especially being out in these streets. And it's a plus that you not just after a nigga because of his money.”

“Hmmmm, well, I'm happy that I'm the kind of woman you were looking for. So let me ask you a straight-up question. What's going on with you and your children's mother?”

“Ain't nothing up. She has my daughters and that's all there is to it. I used to rock with shawty real hard but I quickly found out that she was only after my money; and, to be honest, I think she set me up by lying about being on birth control. After my second daughter was born, I decided that I really didn't love her and that I was done with her.”

“Oh, okay. That's good that you're still taking care of your children. Some niggas would've bounced on the mama and the kids. I respect that you're standing up for them.”

“Of course. I would never leave my seeds. I grew up without my pops and I saw how Mom-dukes struggled to raise my brothers and me. I can't let my kids go through nothing similar.”

It was refreshing to see a young black dude sitting here, talking about taking care of his children with pride. I had no idea what him and ol' girl went through, but I thought she was a dumb bitch if she allowed him to slip through her fingers. I bet, whoever she was, she was regretting that shit right now.

He kissed me on my forehead interrupting my thoughts. I squeezed his hand as he hugged me. Without any words, he eased up from behind me and got on his knees and pulled my pajamas off. He spread my legs wide apart. First he inhaled my fresh scent then he slowly licked my clit and used his tongue to twirl around it. He took his time playing in my pussy with his tongue. I lay back, relaxed and thinking about my future with my baby and the man of my dreams. Fuck that bitch; bottom line was her man chose me.