Young Frankenstein (16 page)

In a cave in the dense woods, the monster crouched near the opening, listening intently to the sounds that were drawing ever closer
.

"Kill!" a voice shouted.

From behind the monster, deep in the cave, came a whimpering
.

"Mmmm!" he said gruffly.

The whimpering ceased.

Through the trees, the monster saw a torch. The voices were louder now. He could hear his pursuers crashing through the underbrush.

"Burn him!"

"The only good monster's a dead monster!" Afraid of the torches, the monster retreated into the darkness of the cave. .After a moment, he reached Elizabeth, whom he had placed on a bed of leaves after she had fainted
.
She was now conscious again
.

"Where am I? What do you want?" Elizabeth said fearfully, clutching her sheer nightgown and even sheerer peignoir to her body
.

"Mmmmmm," the monster replied softly, smiling.

"What are you going to do to me? How much do you want to let me go? My father is rich! You could have the world at your fingertips!"

"Mmmmmm..."

Elizabeth looked at him more closely. "Why, you're just a big ol' pussycat," she said.

"Mmmmm."

"But, listen, I have to be back by eleven-thirty," she said. "I'm expecting a call. So-"

"Mmmmm!"

"Why don't you speak?" she said crossly.

Faintly, from outside, the sound of the mob could be heard.

The monster signaled to Elizabeth to be quiet. Then, as she lay in silence, watching him curiously, he moved toward her. There was now a certain gleam in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked warily.

He touched a finger to his lips, signaling for quiet again.

"But-"

The monster kneeled beside her.

She looked deep into his eyes. "Oh, no, you can't be serious!" she said.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm...."

"You don't understand," Elizabeth protested, as the monster joined her on the bed of leaves. "I've never- I mean, I made a solemn vow never to-Not until- Oh, my God, I-"

The monster was over her.

"Chapstick-I-Oh, pussycat. . ."

A strange music was in the air. It was only barely audible, floating into the cave from somewhere in the distance
.
But it was pervasive, gradually filling the entire cave, every corner, with its seductive magic

"Poooooo-sy-caaaaattttt," Elizabeth murmured ecstatically
.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm
.
. ."

The sounds of the mob could still be heard. But they had no effect on the pair on the bed of leaves
.
They had isolated themselves, transported themselves on the wings of passion
.
For the moment, the mean world of men, of mobs, of hate, of violence, did not exist.

Then Elizabeth, vaguely conscious of the strange music, sang softly
.
"Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!"

"Mmmmmmmm
. .
."

"Penny for your thoughts," Elizabeth whispered to her bedmate as they lay clasped in each others arms in the aftermath.

"Mmmmmm."

"Oh, you devil, you're incorrigible!"

"Mmmmmm."

She whispered again. "Once is lovely . . . but seven's always been my lucky number."

"Mmmmmm." The monster raised himself up.

"What is it?" Elizabeth asked.

"Mmmmmm." He seemed disturbed
.

"That music?" Elizabeth said
.
"Yes, I hear it, too. Eerie, isn't it?"

"Mmmmmm!"

"Probably some wandering minstrel," Elizabeth said. "But, look-Where are you going?"

The monster was rising
.

"Pussycat, for God's sake, it's
only
music!"

As if under a spell, the monster was lumbering toward the exit
.

"You're frustrating me!" Elizabeth warned, crying out angrily
.

Unheeding, he lumbered on
.

"You men are all alike!" Elizabeth shouted after him. "Seven or eight quick bangs and you're into the shower!"

The monster left the cave, following the irresistible lure of the music, that eerie old Transylvanian lullaby. From all around him in the woods came the shouts of the mob-Kill! Kill!-but he strode on, uncaring. Overhead, a full moon lighted the way. In the distance, the werewolves howled
.
Lightning crashed
.
The thunder rumbled
.

Ahead, on the path, two villagers came into view
.

The monster halted, still under the spell of the music, but vaguely aware of danger
.

"I thought I saw something, Jack," one of the villagers called out.

"Louis, that's the tenth time you saw something," Jack replied
.
"But you don't never
find
nothing
.
"

"That monster's in these woods somewhere!"

The villager named Jack detoured, taking another path
.

"And if I'm the one that finds him," Louis went on, unaware that his partner had gone, "it'll be his unlucky day
.
I'll tear him foot from ankle and ankle from leg and leg from body and etcetera!"

"Mmmmm," the monster murmured
.

"You can say that again, Jack, me lad!" Louis said.

"Mmmmmm."

"We better keep it down, though," Louis said, drawing closer to the monster
.
"He could be around here anyplace. We don't want to-"

Louis had come upon the monster
.

"Jack, you're supposed to be behind me-" He began. Then, abruptly, he realized that it was not his partner who was standing in his way. "Oh, Jesus!" His mouth fell open. He stared at the monster, frozen by terror.

"Mmmmmmm!"

Louis made strangling noises.

Gently, the monster picked him up and set him aside, clearing the path. Then he strode on.

From behind him came Louis' shriek.

"It's him! It's the monster!"

Onward the monster stomped
.

"He's headin' for the castle!" Louis cried out

The shouts of other villagers were heard
.

Undeterred, the monster went crashing through the forest, seeking the source of the strange music Then, leaving the woods, he saw the silhouette of Frankenstein. Castle looming large in the distance.

"Mmmmmmmm ..." he moaned.

The music grew louder. It filled the night air like a fog, surrounding him. He ran, clomping, clomping, clomping! The music was irresistible, drawing him on.

"Mmmmmmmm ..." he wailed
.

Nearing the castle, the monster saw movement in the vicinity of the highest towers
.
He knew that at last he had found the source! That weird and haunting melody was coming from the roof of the castle!

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!"

He reached the castle, and, in a frenzy, began climbing the outer wall.

From above, a voice called to him. "You can do it! Come on, boy! Up! Up!" The doctor's voice!

The monster reached a turret, then clambered up its conical roof. From the point, he leaped to another turret, moving upward, upward, ever upward!

The doctor's voice reached him again. "You can do it!"

Then the voice of the hunchback. "Come on, you son of a-" The tone suddenly changed. "-you son of a beauty!"

Only a short distance to go! The music was almost within reach.

"Is everything ready?" the monster heard the doctor ask.

"Ready, Freddy," the hunchback answered. "You sure you want to go through with it?"

"It's the only way!"

"Okay, boss. But you better know what you're doing."

The monster mounted the battlement! He was on the roof. The music was-

Astounded by the strange scene that met his eyes, he paused, staring. Standing at a microphone, playing her violin, producing the strange music, was Frau Blucher. Nearby was an enormous loudspeaker that was sending the sounds of the eerie old Transylvanian lullaby out into the night. At either side of him were Dr. Frankenstein and the hunchback, Igor. The doctor was holding an instrument.

"This is going to hurt you more than it is me," the doctor said sympathetically. Then he plunged the needle into the monster's buttocks and drove home the plunger
.
The music faded.

When the monster collapsed, unconscious, Dr. Frankenstein and Igor dragged him to the opening in the roof, then, by means of a hoist, began lowering him to the laboratory. Below, Inga waited near an operating table. Oddly, there was a second operating table near

by.

Frau Blucher continued to play the violin
.

"Knock it off already!" the doctor said crankily
.
"We got him here, that's all we need."

"There might be a producer out there somewhere in the night," Frau Blucher said. "This could be my big chance."

"Producers are all in bed by this time," Igor told her.

The music stopped.

Below, the monster's body came to rest on an operating table. Immediately, the doctor and the hunchback -Dr. Frankenstein first, then Igor-shinnied down the hoist cable to the laboratory.

"This is it!" the doctor said. He stretched out on the second operating table.

"Oh, Doctor," Inga said fearfully, "are you sure you want to go through with it?"

"I owe it to the monster," he said bravely.

"But, it could-It could-"

"I know. But I feel I have a duty to that poor creature. After all, I brought him into the world. I'm responsible for his existence. Believe me, my dear, this is a far better thing I do tonight than ever I have-"

"Can we get on with it?" Igor said impatiently.

"Right on!"the doctor said.

Inga attached a set of electrodes to the monster's skull, then returned to where the doctor was lying and attached a second set of electrodes to
his
skull.

"How does it feel?" she asked Dr. Frankenstein.

"Itchy."

"Are you ready?" Igor asked him.

"No. But shoot the works, anyway."

Igor went to a large electrical apparatus that had a great many dials and gauges on its face.

Inga took one of the doctor's hands. "Oh, I'm so frightened!"

"You better let go of him or you're liable to be electrocuted, too," Igor warned
.

She released the hand. "Good-bye. Doctor
. . ."

"Let's just say 'so long,'
"
the doctor responded. "I hope to be back soon."

"Here goes nothing!" Igor said. He flipped the 'on' switch.

Sparks flew from both sets of electrodes. The generator whined eerily. The needles on the gauges fluttered, then rose, indicating an ever-increasing passage of electrical current through the wires that connected the twin sets of electrodes. The monster's body shuddered
.
The doctor's body twitched. The sound from the generator settled down to a low hum.

"They're on their way," Igor said.

"How do we know when they're done?" Inga asked.

"Fifteen minutes, according to the doctor."

Inga looked at the laboratory clock. "Twelve minutes to go." She looked suddenly frightened again. "Oh, Igor, what happens if we miss it by a few seconds?"

"It'll mean the difference between medium rare and well done," he told her.

All of a sudden, the laboratory lights began to dim.

"Igor! What's happening?"

"I don't know! A brown-out, maybe?" He raised his eyes to the opening in the roof. "Wait!" he cried, shouting to the heavens. "Only ten more minutes!"

The lights came up.

Igor wiped perspiration from his brow. "That was close!"

"What's that?" Inga said, cocking an ear.

Igor listened. "It sounds like shouting." He shrugged. "Somebody left the television on."

"How much longer?"

"Eight minutes."

"It can't fail, Igor!" Inga said. "It just can't!"

"Sure it can," he said. "Mistakes are made all the time. That's human nature."

Inga cocked her ear again. "That's isn't the television," she said. "It's-It sounds like a raging mob."

Igor listened. "Just because they're yelling 'Kill! Kill! Kill!' ?"

"How many minutes?"

"Six to go."

There was pounding at the castle door. The shouts could be heard clearly now.

"Kill the doctor!"

"Kill the monster!"

"Tear them to pieces!"

"Kill!"

"Tear!"

Igor addressed Inga. "It adds to the drama, don't you think?" he said.

"We've got to stop them!" she said. "They could come rushing down here and spoil the whole experiment!"

"All right. I'll go up and talk to them and keep them busy. You stay here and watch the machine. If I'm not back by exactly twelve midnight, switch it off
.
Got that?"

"Exactly twelve midnight," Inga replied, nodding.

"Not one second before, not one second after."

"I understand-exactly twelve midnight
.
"

Igor left and climbed the stairs to the main floor, then headed toward the entrance hall. The sounds of the pounding on the door boomed through the castle. The shouting was louder and more vicious.

"Kill Frankenstein!"

"Make chopped liver out of him!"

"Stomp him!"

Igor reached the door and opened it. At the thresh-hold stood Inspector Kemp. Behind him was a raging mob of villagers.

"May I say who's calling?" Igor asked.

"Search the castle!" a villager shouted.

The mob surged forward, sweeping the inspector and Igor in front of it.

"Kill!"

"Search every room!"

"Not the laboratory!" Igor cried out.

"Everybody to the laboratory!" a villager shouted.

A stampede began, led, unintentionally, by Igor, who was pushed backwards as he tried desperately but vainly to hold the mob off. Through the entrance hall the herd went, then down the stairs, shoving and shouting its way finally into the laboratory.

Inga screamed.