You Can't Go Home Again (26 page)

* * * * *

When they sat down for a cup of coffee, Jenn finally asked
the question that had been lurking for a while. “Dani, what happened while we
were gone?”

“What do you mean?” Dani replied, acting deliberately vague.

“You know what I mean. Damn it…things looked good when we
left. I thought you and Jace would get together. I even thought you might…”

“Might what? Decide to stay?” At Jenn’s half shrug, she
continued. “I tried to tell you that wasn’t in the cards for us. Jenn, there is
just too much between Jace and me. Things that can’t be forgotten, or I guess
even forgiven. I told him. That I knew about Afghanistan, that I had probably
even seen it before it happened. He walked out, just like I knew he would.
That’s it. It’s done. Whatever you thought was between us, isn’t.”

Dani’s voice was calm, almost distant while she spoke. As if
she were talking about the plotline to a movie, not her own life. Jenn sat
there, torn. She knew that must have ripped Jace apart, hearing that she could
have helped him, could have stopped it from ever happening. Learning that she
had known, on some level, and still hadn’t come home. But she saw how much Dani
was hurting now. She had no words, nothing to say that could in any way help.
So she said nothing, reaching out and squeezing Dani’s hand.

Gazing at Jenn, blankly, Dani finally snapped to, forcing a
smile. She glanced at her watch, stood and tossed her coffee in the trash
before turning back to Jenn. “You ready? It’s time to head to Hooligan’s.”

* * * * *

Brian had picked Zack up, trying to limit drivers, and they
got to the bar a little before seven, when the ladies were due to join them.
Bri hadn’t talked to Jace, but figured they’d find him behind the bar. He had
gotten the impression last night that something had gone wrong between Jace and
Dani while they’d been off on their honeymoon. But, knowing how Jace felt about
her, Bri figured he’d still want to say good-bye.

When he got there, he saw Dave behind the bar, not Jace.
He’d seen both the bike and the truck in the covered parking, so Bri knew Jace
was home. He and Zack grabbed a table, pulling two of them together, then Bri
headed upstairs.

He knocked on the door. After several tries with no answer,
he turned the knob, figuring Jace was in the shower. As he walked in, his
senses were assaulted.

It was pitch black, no lights on and every curtain drawn.
The kitchen was a filthy mess; there were clothes everywhere, empty beer
bottles on the floor. And the apartment reeked. Reaching back blindly, Bri
flipped the switch, turning on the light.

“Turn it back off!” Jace yelled.

Bri saw him, face down on the sofa, three days’ beard on his
face, greasy unwashed hair, wearing wrinkled jeans.

“Okay.” Bri flipped the switch.

He had no idea what the hell was wrong, but he figured he
would need backup. He backed out of the apartment, slammed the door and headed
down to the bar to grab Zack and some cleaning supplies.

When they got back upstairs, they swung open the door,
flipping on the lights and dropping the supplies on the floor. Deliberately
making as much noise as possible.

Jace started cussing again. “I said turn it the hell off!”

Bri grabbed him under one arm, while Zack grabbed the other.

“What the fuck are you doin’? Get off me!”

Jace was throwing elbows, kicking his feet. Acting like a
two-year-old throwing a tantrum. Once they managed to get him into the
bathroom, they wrestled him into the tub, still wearing the filthy jeans, and
turned on the cold water.

They backed out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind
them, while Jace screamed and cussed them both out.

* * * * *

The cold water served as a catalyst for Jace. A slap in the
face. He screamed and yelled for a couple of minutes, until he finally calmed
down. As the anger settled down into something more like indignation, he
stripped off his sopping wet jeans, turned the tap to warm and cleaned up. He
even took a couple of minutes to shave.

He found some clean clothes, pulling on jeans and a T-shirt
before heading back out to the living room. By the time he got back out there,
he was coherent. Enough so to know he was going to have to provide an
explanation.

He finally made it out to the kitchen to find Zack gone and
Bri sitting on the couch. They had cleaned up the worst of his kitchen. The
trash was all gone and he smelled something lemony.

He flopped down at a barstool at the counter, finally saying
the only thing he could think of. “Thanks.”

Bri just nodded, waiting another minute before finally
asking, “Wanna talk about it?”

Jace shrugged, shaking his head at the same time. “No…not
really.”

Bri nodded again. “Okay. Am I going to walk in here and find
you wallowing in a cesspool again? Or are you done with that?”

Jace smirked. “Done with that.”

“You sure? ’Cuz you’re hiding in here and she hasn’t even
left yet.”

Jace shrugged his shoulders, running his hands over his face
and through his hair.

“Did you ask her to stay?”

“No. And I won’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

He looked over at Bri, pain etched into every feature in his
face. “Because she deserves better.”

“Jace…”

Jace cut him off before he could say anything else. “I got a
few more days with her, Bri. It’s more than I expected. She needs to go back to
L.A. She belongs there.”

Not really knowing the problem, Bri had no idea what to say.
“She’s downstairs. Zack went to go tell them you’re not feeling well. If you
want to hide up here, you have an excuse. Or, you can man up and at least go
tell her goodbye this time.” He turned on his heel, leaving Jace glaring after
him.

They were all having a pretty good time. Laughing and
teasing, trying to pretend that Dani wasn’t leaving tomorrow. Trying to ignore
the giant white elephant in the room… Jace’s absence.

Dani had intentionally sat with her back to the stairway,
not wanting to spend the night staring at it, silently waiting to see him. So
her first clue that he had made it downstairs was when everyone at the table
suddenly fell silent.

At the touch of his hand on her shoulder, she tensed,
wondering what was coming next. Was he going to insult her, throw her out of
the bar? Was he simply here to say goodbye before he went back upstairs? She
was prepared for pretty much anything. Except this…

“Dance with me?”

She looked over her shoulder, glancing up, into his eyes.
She wasn’t sure what she was seeing, but he didn’t look angry. Dani should have
said no, should have left things the way they were, but there was no way she
could pass up another chance to be in his arms. Not for anything in the world.
Taking the hand he held out toward her, she followed him out to the floor.

Jace pulled her against him, feeling very much like a
starving man finally offered food. He needed the feel of her pressing against
him as much as he needed his next breath.

She was melting, going to burst into flames any second. Unless
her heart leapt out of her chest first. They danced without speaking, just
holding each other. She wanted to apologize, to ask him again to forgive her,
but she was afraid to break the spell. She tucked her head into his shoulder,
her lips tingling, aching to kiss his neck. She breathed in his scent.

Suddenly words seemed to be torn from his throat, rumbling
through tight lips and clenched teeth. Jace growled out, "Please
stay."

* * * * *

The group looked on, watching the couple. They had known
there was something between them, had seen glimpses of the power of it in the
last couple weeks. Nothing compared to what they were seeing now.

Zack was the first to speak. “If he lets her leave he is a
damned fool.”

Brian nodded. “He’s more than a fool. But he’s still going
to let her go.”

As Jenn watched them dance, she wasn’t so sure.

* * * * *

Dani’s whole body tensed, her head pulling back so she could
look into his eyes. “You want me to stay?” she asked.

Jace knew what he’d said, knew what she thought, and he saw
the confusion clouding her eyes.

“The night. I meant, stay here with me tonight. Please?”

She tried to ignore the ache in her chest. Of course he just
meant for the night. They had been friends before, and he was still attracted
to her. There was just too much  between them for it to ever work. So, did she
stay? Would she hurt any more tomorrow if she took this chance for one more
night, one more memory, before she went back to her empty apartment in L.A.?

She debated with herself, finally nodding her head in one
quick, hard movement. Jace tilted her chin, placing a soft, tender kiss on her
waiting lips, before leading her back to the table with their friends.

It was another hour or so before everyone started to leave.
Dani gave out hugs, kisses, promises to call. Jenn and Bri left, taking Zack
with them. Jenn told Dani she would be at the hotel early tomorrow morning to
say goodbye. She offered again for Dani to stay with them. Dani refused, using
the newlyweds as an excuse. When she and Jace were the only ones left, he
pulled her hand, leading her upstairs.

When they reached his apartment, Jace stopped, giving her
one last chance to change her mind. “If you want to leave, I’ll take you to the
hotel.”

He watched her shake her head, before he’d even finished his
sentence.. “I have my car. If I want to go, I will.”

He nodded his head once. Suddenly Jace was unsure. They had
never been in a situation where they knew they were going to make love. It had
always been unexpected, in the heat of the moment. He wasn’t exactly sure how
to begin.

He knew they should talk; he could see questions lurking in
her eyes. Out of sheer desperation, he leaned in and kissed her. He didn’t want
to talk.

Her hands ran up his chest, grazing his nipples with her
nails, before wrapping around his neck. She buried her fingers in his hair,
pulling his mouth down harder. He gave her what she so obviously wanted,
leaning in for the kiss. As he plunged his tongue into her mouth, he felt hers
dueling with him. Always a battle of wills.

He could feel her immediate response to just a kiss, and it
fueled his own desire. He wanted to feel her, taste her. He needed her skin to
skin. Yet he had to find some control. He wanted her to remember this night
forever.

He stepped back, smiling a little when she whimpered softly.
Then he took her hand, pulling her to the bedroom.

When Dani saw the bed, she tugged her hand loose, yanking
her shirt up and over her head. She kicked off the sandals and had her jeans
unbuttoned before he could even stop her. “Let me,” he said.

She looked into his eyes, and he saw her searching, trying
to understand. She must have seen something in his expression, because she
stopped. She let go of more than just the button. She placed her hands on his
chest, softly, no longer demanding. He took the gesture for exactly what it
was. Submission. Dani had just ceded control.

He groaned softly as he saw the acceptance in her face. He
remembered their conversation from her kitchen. He hadn’t hurt her; she’d
enjoyed everything. She could take anything he cared to dish out. His dreams,
his fantasies returned, and he wanted to try everything he’d ever dreamed. But
only with her.

With a shake of his head, Jace refocused. Tonight was about
her, only her. He wanted to please her, to show her how much he loved her. To
show her the words he couldn’t say. To silently tell her that he loved her
enough to let her go.

He picked her up and carried her over to the bed, laying her
back against his pillows. Before he climbed up beside her, he took a moment to
strip off her jeans. She lay there, in the center of his king-size bed, wearing
nothing more than scraps of red lace. He groaned again, fighting to control the
lust coursing through him.

When he had stripped down to just his jeans he climbed onto
the bed, straddling her lower legs, holding her still while he kissed his way
up her gorgeous flat belly. She arched her back so he could unhook her bra,
lying back while he used his fingers and thumbs to tease and torment her taut
nipples. When she cried out, arching again to meet his hands, he softly, slowly
swirled his tongue around the tips, hearing her whimper before he finally
closed his mouth over one.

Dani’s body felt so tight against his, he thought she would
explode just from his lips on her breast. When he pulled hard, sucking her deep
into his mouth, she screamed out her pleasure, fisting her hands into his hair
as she twisted her sex against his body, desperate for release.

Jace felt her writhing against him and his good intentions were
pushed to the limits. He pushed upright, grabbing between her legs and ripping
her panties off before he got control again.

With the tear of the lace, Dani cried out again, screaming,
“Yes,” as she fisted her hands into the sheets.

Jace watched, saw that she was already on the brink and felt
his throbbing shaft pulse against his jeans. He was going to bust the damn
zipper if he got any harder. He sat back on his heels, sitting on her calves in
the process. He dug his hands into his thighs, trying to stay calm, stay
controlled. When she lifted her leg, putting the tiniest bit of pressure
against his cock, he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He’d never had any
control with her.

“Please, Jace… God, I need you.”

She was naked, on his bed, pleading for him. He tilted back,
pushing her legs apart, before settling between them. He kissed her, barely
brushing his lips against the soft triangle of hair before his tongue peeked
out, tasting her. She moaned, driving him mad with her little whimpers and
sighs. He ground his hips into the bed, his shaft aching for release.