You Before Me (29 page)

“You didn't have to stay the night,
Mom,” I tell her as the nurse leaves.

She gets up and walks over to me.
“You're my son. Of course, I did. I, uh,” she hesitates. “I didn't
know if I should get Fredrick to tell Ryan or not, so I told him
not to until I talked to you to see what you wanted. I don't know
what's been going.” A guilty look passes over her face, even though
I'm the one who hasn't been talking to her.

“It's fine, Mom. I haven't spoken to
her since Thanksgiving, so it's not like she's expecting to hear
from me or anything.”

She nods. “You should get some
rest.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Mom goes back to the chair, and I
close my eyes, knowing I'm going to have to see my father and Owen
in the morning. Mom probably sent everyone home. Her mentioning
Ryan has me thinking about her again. All this time, I've known how
she feels, or felt, about me, and I never told her my own feelings.
Whether she wants to or not, she's going to talk to me. As soon as
I can get out of here.

Ryan

A pounding lulls me out of sleep, and
I realize someone is at my door. I glance at the clock and see that
it's seven in the morning. Who the hell is here? Groaning, I roll
over, get out of bed, and grab a scrunchie on my way to the door. I
throw my hair up, the pounding louder now, and yank open the
door.

“What the fuck do-” The words clog my
throat as I see Camilla, Gabe's mother, standing outside my door. I
stare at her, my heart frozen mid-beat. Why is she here? What does
she want? Did Gabe send her to apologize or something?

“Morning, Ryan,” she says. “I'm sorry
that it's so early. May I come inside?”

“Why?” I question with confusion. The
words she said to me reappear in my mind full force, sparking my
anger. “Would you like to look at all the things my parents have
provided for their little, spoiled brat? I'm sorry, but it's way
too early in the morning for personal tours.”

As I start to close my door, her hand
shoots out to stop me. “Ryan, wait.”

Huffing, I open it again. “Honestly,
Mrs. O'Connor, I don't want to hear what you have to
say.”

“I think you do,” she says quietly,
her eyes never wavering from my own. “May I come inside?” she
repeats. Something about the way she said it makes me step
aside.

I lead her to the kitchen table,
thankful that during my study breaks, I've been in a cleaning
frenzy. Camilla sits down and places her hands in her lap. For a
moment, she doesn't say anything at all.

“Gabriel told me that you haven't been
talking to him.”

Narrowing my eyes, I
interrupt, “No, I haven't spoken to
Gabriel
.” It pisses me off that she
says his first name like that, which is ridiculous.

“And it's no wonder. You're a hard
person to apologize to.” My mouth opens, but she holds up her hand
to stop me and keeps going. “I'm sorry, Ryan. Sometimes, I worry
too much. Gabriel's relationships always end because he's too
compliant, too willing to trust. He dated a girl once who was a few
years younger than him, and she took advantage of him and his hard
earned money.

“I made assumptions about you because
of that, and I shouldn't have. My son told me to trust him, and I
didn't. So I'm sorry about what happened. And so you know, after he
brought you home, Gabriel came back and let me know how angry he
was over I what I said. He did stand up for you.”

“He did? Right after he left here?” I
question, and she nods.

Camilla lets that sink in. Gabe stood
up for me. Before I can fully process this, she continues, “I
didn't know until last night that Gabriel hasn't heard from you.
You've been ignoring him, and he's been ignoring me.” Gabe hasn't
been talking to his mother? “I came over to apologize and to let
you know that he got hurt last night.”

“What?” I breathe what little air I
have. Her final words steal all my breath from me. “He's been hurt?
Is he okay? Where is he? What happened?”

She gives me a reassuring smile.
“Gabriel will be fine. He was shot twice in the shoulder, and he'll
need some time to heal, but he's okay. He's still at the hospital.
Would you like to go back with me to see him?”

Gabe was shot? Oh, my God. My heart
rams into my chest furiously. She said he was okay. That's what I
keep repeating in my head as I nod to let her know I want to see
him and I go change. I'm a wreck, and I'm rambling at an all time
high as I worry. Two sentences are a calming mantra in my
head.

He's okay. He's going to be
fine.

I'll be fine once I see it for
myself.

Gabe

I've just finished eating breakfast.
My boss and Fredrick have already stopped by to see me as well as
some others from the station. Mom peeks from around the door. Dad
and Owen must be here now. I try to sit up a little
more.

“Are you up for some company?” She
asks.

“Absolutely.”

Mom disappears instead of walking in
with my dad and Owen behind her, like I expect. Instead, Ryan
hesitantly enters the room.

“Hey,” I greet. A smile instantly
appears on my face. To say I'm thrilled that she's here in the same
room as me doesn't even begin to cover it.

“Hey. Your mom came to my apartment
this morning and told me you were hurt,” she explains, still
standing by the door. Ryan clasps her hands together in front of
her, and I realize that she's nervous.

“My mom went to your
place?”

Ryan nods. “You didn't
know?”

“No, I didn't.” Wow. I can't believe
my mom personally went to Ryan's. But I'm so happy she did. Ryan is
standing too faraway from me, so I add, “You don't have to stand
way over there, you know.”

She seemed to be waiting to me to give
her a sign that I wanted her here because she rushes over, the
words spilling from her mouth.

“I'm so sorry, Gabe. I shouldn't have
been so angry not to listen to you, to let you explain. With your
parents and then my parents, I wanted some time to clear my head.
I'm so sorry.”

“I love you,” I interrupt. I just want
her to know, but it doesn't faze her rambling. By the far away look
of terror in her eyes, she didn't even hear me.

“You have to understand that I was
just upset. Ever since I met you, you opened my eyes to better
things, to the possibility that I can have more, should have more,
and I haven't been able to completely figure out what to do about
that. Or how to fix things with you.”

“I love you,” I try again. She still
doesn't hear my words.

“I've never wanted someone like this
in my entire life. That scared me more than anything, and I'm so
sorry. I-”

“Ryan,” I say as sternly as I can. She
blinks, her eyes finally focusing on me. “Did you hear me?” Ryan
shakes her head. “I told you, twice,” I add, laughter hinting in my
tone. “That I love you,” I finally finish, grateful to have her
undivided attention.

Confusion flits across her face for a
moment before it's replaced with relief. “You do?” The corners of
her mouth tilts up slightly.

“Absolutely.” I squeeze her hand. “I
love you, Ryan.” My words are soft, but the love in my voice is
unmistakable. She leans forward to kiss me, accidentally leaning on
my shoulder. “Ow,” I flinch in pain.

“Shit! Sorry!” Ryan moves to the other
side of the bed, carefully hovering above me and kisses me. “I love
you too. I'm so happy you're okay, Gabe.”

“It's nothing serious. I'm fine. I'm
more happy to see you.”

“You were shot,” she frowns at my
dismissive tone towards what happen.

“Trust me, I know. I'm even thankful I
was.”

“What the hell are you talking about,
Gabe?” Ryan is thoroughly confused now.

“Well, I wouldn't choose
for it to happen, but it did. My
mom
,” I emphasize so she'll
understand my point, “went to tell you what happened when she found
out we weren't talking.” I lace my fingers with hers. “You're here.
I've missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” She
smiles.

“I've been worried about
you.”

Ryan frowns. “Worried? Why were you
worried?”

“I didn't know how things were with
you and with your parents.”

“Oh. Well, I told them how badly I
wanted to major in art and why I picked it. They told me they would
support my decision under a few conditions. Other than that, we
haven't really talked much. I think blowing up like I did really
caught their attention. There's still a long way to go before
things are better.” She sounds hopeful, and that makes me hopeful
for her.

“It's a start, right?” She nods.
“C'mere.” I keep saying, “Closer,” until she's close enough for me
to kiss her. Ryan's grinning when I press my lips to hers. I kiss
her slowly, but fiercely until I hear that happy sigh of hers. “Are
you going to take care of me when I go home?” I mumble against her
lips.

She laughs. “Yes, I will.”

“Thank you.”

Her green eyes pierce me. “You've
taught me so much more than football or shooting, Gabe. Thank you
for that.”

I smile because she's taught me so
much too. Not only that, but I've finally met the person I can love
with everything I am and who will love me just the same. Just as
Ryan is about to give me another kiss, the door creeks open to
reveal my mother, causing Ryan to stand upright again.

“Is everything okay in here?” She
asks.

“Yeah, Mom. We're good.” I squeeze
Ryan's hand, and she smiles down at me.

“Great. Your father and brother are
here if you want to see them.” She glances between us, almost as if
she's intruding.

I open my mouth, but Ryan beats me to
it. Her eyes find me, and she gives me a small smile. “I'm going to
go, but I'll be back, okay?”

“You don't have-”

“Your mom woke me up and then we came
straight here. I haven't eaten anything yet, so I'm going to find
some food in this place. I'll be back,” she repeats as she
finishes.

I don't want her to go. I just got her
back. But she needs to eat, so I nod reluctantly. Ryan carefully
leans down to give me a quick kiss before leaving the room as my
family reenters. Mom, Dad, and Owen spend some time with me,
talking to me, but I'm barely paying attention. For the first time
in weeks, Ryan is in the same building as me, and we need to make
up for lost time.

When she finally comes back, I grin at
her. “You missed all the action, Ryan,” I say.

“I did? What happened?” She asks as
she comes to stand to my right.

I move my left hand over my stomach,
palm up, and she reaches out to hold it like I was hoping she
would. “I'm being discharged. Are you ready to take care of
me?”

Ryan laughs. “Of course,
Gabe.”

“Good. Dad and Owen are going to take
me home. Mom can take you back to your place so you can get your
things and then you can come over.”

“Sounds like you have everything
planned out,” she says.

“I do.”

“We should go; you'll be discharged
soon,” Mom inputs.

She and Ryan leave, and I'm once again
playing the waiting game. At least the next time I see her, we'll
be alone. My arm goes into a sling, which I can already tell is
going to be a pain, and soon I'm being dropped off at home to wait
for Ryan. I go into my bedroom to attempt to change into more
comfortable clothes. What I really want is a shower.

“Gabe?” Ryan calls out.

“In here.”

“Who's pants-less now?” She laughs as
she walks in, sees me in boxers and a t-shirt, and sets her things
down at the foot of my bed.

Chuckling, I wiggle my fingers for her
to come over. “Help me with my shirt, please.” Ryan carefully helps
me remove my shirt, her eyes traveling over my body. “Miss
me?”

Her eyes snap up to mine. “So much.”
Ryan rests her forehead over my heart as she wraps her arms tightly
around me like I might disappear at any second.

With my hand on the back of her neck,
I softly say, “Hey, what's the matter?”

“Nothing,” she answers, her warm
breath hitting my skin. “I was pissy with your mom when she came to
my door. Then she told me you were hurt, and I felt like I couldn't
breathe. You scared me to death, Gabe. It could have been so much
worse and then I wouldn't have ever told you I loved you because I
was too damn stubborn to answer your calls. I just-”

I move my hand to her chin, a tear
falling onto my hand. “Look at me,” I interrupt. Ryan lifts her
head, and my thumb wipes away her tear-streaked cheeks. “I'm okay,
Ryan.” Cupping her cheek as she leans her head into it, I add, “I'm
right here with you. I'm fine, so don't worry about the 'what could
have been'. Besides, I already knew you loved me. All I was worried
about was making sure you knew I loved you too.”