Yearning Absolution (Yearning Series) (13 page)

Today was the day. After work today,
Gwen was meeting with McKayla. She hadn’t had any more phone calls from Richard
in the week that had passed and for that she was grateful. Today she had a
meeting with Cole in his office. Coral Lyn was coming with her to help bring
some of the design board and help explain what they were working on to Cole.
Gwen was determined to at least help Coral Lyn learn as much as she could since
that was in essence why she was Gwen’s assistant.

Gwen barely lifted a hand to
acknowledge the stuffy receptionist right at the elevators and made her way
down to Cole’s private secretary, Tiffany.

“Hi, Tiff. I think he is expecting
us.” Gwen smiled. Although she talked to Tiffany many times when she’d called
to talk to Cole, she hadn’t actually been up to his office in a few weeks. He
normally came to meet her after work.

“Of course. Head right in.” Tiffany
said as a big smile climbed on her face as her eyes landed on Gwen’s protruding
belly. 

Gwen shrugged. It couldn’t have
been that hard for the girl to piece together that Gwen called him all the time
so she probably assumed they were dating anyway. Secretaries always knew the
dirt on the boss. Even though she was told to head right in, Gwen still knocked
once on the door before pushing it open. Coral Lyn was right on her heels to
help push the heavy door open far enough for both of them to enter the office.

“Come in.” Cole was seated behind
his large desk. His jacket hanging over his chair and his shirt sleeves rolled
up. He looked up and a smile instantly lit his face when he locked eyes with
Gwen. “Ah. Gwen and Coral Lyn. Please set up your display.”

“Yes, sir.” Gwen forced herself to
look away and get the different displays up. It only took a moment and she
turned back to face him again. The two of them quickly updated Cole on the
progress on the designs and changes that had been made. Cole simply made a few
notes and nodded.

“Looks like all is going well, even
with your extended absence.” Cole looked right at Gwen.

“Yes, well, with an unexpected
pregnancy, I think we were all a bit surprised. I won’t make a habit of it. Now
that the early stages of sickness have passed, I don’t plan on being out much
until after the birth. And that should be after the show so it shouldn’t cause
any more hiccups with this project. Plus, Coral Lyn has been doing a wonderful
job of keep things running even while I’m out of the office.” Gwen gestured to
Coral Lyn standing slightly behind her.

“Of course. I’d expect nothing less
of you or her. You may continue your day now.” Cole nodded towards the door.
Coral Lyn turned and started gathering the materials they had brought with
them. Gwen turned to do the same but her eyes landed on a picture frame on
Cole’s desk. It was turned so that she could barely see what it was but she had
seen that picture numerous times so she knew exactly what it was. Cole had
framed and put in a dominate spot on his desk the sonogram picture Gwen had
given him of the twins. A large smile instantly spread over her face and her
eyes jumped to his. He smiled back at her for a moment before breaking the eye
contact.

Gwen turned and quickly gathered
the last of the materials and followed Coral Lyn out of the room. As they made
their way to the elevators, Coral Lyn looked over her shoulder to make sure
they were alone in the hallway.

“He is so fucking hot. But he
always acts a bit like a dick.” Coral Lyn’s voice pitched low even though they
were alone.

“I’m sure it’s just business.” Gwen
shrugged. She knew what he was like outside of the office but she wasn’t
sharing that with anyone.

“Well, if that’s the case, I want
to run into that fine piece of ass outside of work. I’d show him a thing or
two.” Coral Lyn laughed loudly at herself just before they reached the
elevators and the stodgy receptionist waiting there.

“You don’t think he knows what he’s
doing in bed?” Gwen couldn’t help but go along with it once the elevator doors
had shut and they were alone again.

“I don’t know. I accidently tripped
a few months ago and ended up grabbing onto his arm to stop from falling. I’ll
tell you that suit of his hides a whole lot of muscles. I felt how hard he is
with my hand. But he just looked at me with those cold green eyes. I don’t know
if it’s that he doesn’t have sex or he just wasn’t interested in me.” Coral Lyn
fanned herself with her hand. The elevator opened and they made their way
through the halls to Gwen’s design room. “Either way, that man has a drool
worthy body under those boring suits.”

“Oh, I’ve a pretty good idea. Those
suits are tailored quite well.” Gwen laughed as she set her stuff down on the
counter.

“I wonder what he looks like naked.
Probably give me a heart attack.” Coral Lyn spoke as she walked to another
table and set the stuff she’d been carrying down. “Even if he knows what he’s
doing in the sack, I think I could show him a move or two he hasn’t seen before.”

“I bet.” Gwen laughed and shook her
head. “Might scare him to death too.”

A few hours later, Gwen’s mood was
drastically different. She was making her way to the little café she was
supposed to surprise McKayla at. She didn’t like the idea of just popping in on
her, but she was desperate to speak to her.

Right outside the doors she took a
deep breath and pulled down on her top to hide her belly as best she could, but
there really was no hiding it. It had been a long time since she’d seen
McKayla. The last time had been before she’d learned she was pregnant. Gwen
knew the surprise of her being pregnant alone was going to be a shock for
McKayla. But there wasn’t much she could do about it now. She just had to see McKayla,
try to make her understand how important she was.

Gwen stepped forward and looked
through the glass to see McKayla sitting towards the back, a cup in hand.
Taking another fortifying deep breath, Gwen opened the door and slowly walked
towards her lost love.

McKayla looked up when Gwen stopped
next to her table. Shock instantly ran over her features. “What are you doing
here?”

“I came to see you.” Gwen tried to
smile but she knew it wasn’t even close. McKayla pushed back from the table.
“Please, just let me talk. You don’t have to speak to me at all. Just hear what
I have to say. Please. I’m begging you. If you ever felt anything at all for
me, let me talk.”

“Fine. You have five minutes. Then
I will speak and you will listen.” McKayla scooted her chair closer to the
table again. She gestured for Gwen to sit. Gwen sat down and clasped her hands
on the table. She took a few deep breathes before she could start.

“McKayla, I miss you. God knows how
much I miss you. I miss seeing your face, your smile, watching your eyes light
up. Everything. I miss every single thing about you. I know you are having a
hard time with me also loving Cole. But I can tell you, I don’t love him any
more than I love you. I might not have been great at showing it but I love you
more than life. I want you in my life. I’ll do anything to have you back. I
will do anything to show you how much I love you and need you. Anything but
leave Cole. Just as I would never have ever left you if he ever asked. I don’t
want to have to choose one over the other.” Gwen brushed the backs of her hands
against her cheeks to wipe away the tears that were escaping uncontrollably from
her eyes.

“That it? Are you done? Because I
have a few words I’d like to say as well.” McKayla barely waited for a moment
before continuing. “I might have believed you had you told me you were
pregnant. I can see the belly. I can tell you are carrying his child in there.
You really expect me to believe that you would want me around when you have the
perfect little family? You never ever wanted children with me. It was never even
up for discussion. No matter what I wanted. It was always what you wanted and I
went along with it for you. But I can see once again, you changed what you
wanted for this man.” McKayla pushed back from the table. “Well, I’m choosing
me. I want someone that wants me for me and for what I want in life.”

“I do want you exactly the way you
are. I never realized that you didn’t have everything you wanted from our
relationship. And this pregnancy isn’t planned. But I do plan to keep them. How
could I not with the way my parents so easily tossed me aside. McKayla, I want
you in their life. I want you in my life. I even bought you a commitment ring.
I would wear one too. To show that I’m committed to you. If you want we can go
somewhere that allows same sex marriage and I’ll marry you this instant. I want
you in my life forever.” Gwen tried to hold back the sobs as McKayla walked out
of the coffee shop. Gwen quickly followed her out the front door. “Please,
don’t walk away.”

“Gwen. I love you. I do. I just
can’t get over the feeling that I’m just a security blanket for you. Do you
really love me? Did you ever? While I would give my life for you, you so easily
welcome another love into your life.” McKayla turned to walk away again. The
sun had set while they’d been in the coffee shop and it was growing darker out.

“You said you would be okay with
this. You encouraged it. Maybe you were pushing me to leave you. Maybe you just
can’t accept that I love you. I can love you and Cole the same. It is you that
is pushing me away. I’m willing to do anything for you and you are the one that
is constantly turning away from me.” Gwen spoke as loud as she could but she
was sobbing and McKayla was gone.

After a few mind numbing minutes of
crying alone on the streets of New York. Gwen slowly found her way to the
subway. She stumbled down the stairs, a bit disoriented. There was no one on
the platform. Gwen broke down with body shaking sobs. Pressing her back to the
wall, she slid down until she was seated on the ground. Her arms came up to
wrap around her knees as much as they could as sobs loudly ripped from her
lungs. She pressed her face to her knees. Tears soaked her pants as they
continued to stream quickly down her face. She couldn’t comprehend why McKayla
was being so harsh and unmoving. This wasn’t the woman she had come to love
over the years.

The loud sound of footsteps echoing
in the subway entrance made her try to stifle the sobs. She quickly pushed to
her feet and used her hand to wipe at her eyes. The last thing she needed was
to add to her embarrassment. She’d just caused a scene in the coffee shop,
another one in the subway wouldn’t help anything. Slowly, she turned towards
where the footsteps had come from. There were many pillars but no person that
she could see. She stepped around to the other side of the pillars but there
was no one on the other side either. She had most certainly heard the echo of
loud foot falls. 

A shiver of fear raced up her
spine. She needed to get home. It had to be all the stress from today playing
with her nerves. She didn’t know when the train would be arriving. Why had she
come down here anyway? She should’ve just grabbed a cab. That’s what she was
going to do. She quickly walked back towards the exit of the subway. Behind her
she heard the loud clap of shoes falling on the hard floor again. She whipped
around to see who was there, but once again there was no one.

She spun back around and ran up out
of the subway. Running down the street, Gwen noticed there wasn’t many people
around. After running two blocks, pain shot through her stomach so she ducked
into an alley and bent, putting her hands on her knees as she tried to catch
her breath. Her purse slipped off her shoulder and fell to the ground, her
breathing ragged. After a moment, she peeked around the corner to see only the
people she had just ran past. She was panicking over nothing. She had to get
herself together and get home. Cole was there. He would calm her, comfort her.

She bent at the knees to pick up
her purse from the dark ground. Movement from the opening to the street caught
her eye. She flicked her eyes over as a pair of beat up old boots stepped closer
to her. She quickly grabbed her purse and moved to stand as his voice washed
over her, “Well, lucky me.”

“Richard.” Gwen gasped as she stood
to her full height. He stepped closer to her. His hate filled eyes locked with
hers. Her fingers dug into the strap of her purse causing it to cut into her palm.
Her jaw quivered slightly.

“I knew if I waited long enough. I
would get you again.” He spoke quietly but it reverberated through Gwen. The
word ‘again’. Her entire body shivered with the thought of him locking her away
again. Her body broke out in a cold sweat as he took another small step towards
her. He dragged his tongue slowly over his bottom lip as his eyes traced over
her body as she took a step to the side, away from him. His eyes stopped at her
bulging belly and rage filled his face. “You are pregnant? Pregnant with
another man’s baby. How dare you!”

Before Gwen could react, he grabbed
her arm with the purse and cranked it up behind her back as he turned her,
shoving her face into the rough brick wall. His other arm came up pressing
against the back of her neck. Spit hit her cheek as he spoke, “You fucking
little tramp. Off fucking other men. Letting them release their seed into your
body. This is my body, not yours. I never wanted to let you go, I never agreed
to let other men fuck you. Yet here you are spreading your slutty legs for any
cock that comes by. Well, don’t worry this time I’ll make sure you never get
the chance again.”

His arm was gone from her neck, but
his hand was fisting in her hair, yanking her head back as a gasp escaped from
her mouth. All those years of training he’d beat into her about keeping silent was
all that kept her from yelling out. Tears streamed down her face but not a sound
left her mouth, even as her mind told her to do anything to fight back against
him. Her fear, the fear beaten into her for years, held her immobile. Her eyes
were pressed tightly shut as she felt his hand release her arm and slide around
her hip. His large palm rested against her belly, her babies. “I see you
remember all those lessons we taught you. Keep quiet and we’ll fuck you real
good. Scream and we’ll beat you real good.”