Xone Of Contention (11 page)

“Demons aren't necessarily intelligent. Often they do what they do without thought.”

So Edsel tried running through talents, and was in luck he got the ability to find the very best route to any objective “What's the best route to the boat?” he asked

“That isn't right,” Justin said “You did not define the boat.”

“Any boat will do dear.” Breanna said.

“Not the Censor Ship.”

“For sure,” she agreed “But he's already invoked it, so we'll just have to see.”

“This way,” Edsel said with certainty, facing the thickest brush “Toward the boat, in a small meander.”

“A small meander,” Pia said, but didn't protest, because the talents did seem to work.

They turned and cut through the brush toward the place where the boat was, as none of them cared to risk swimming in the lake.

They found a path, and followed it. That made pushing the Lemon much easier. But the path led straight to a tangle tree.

“We should have known,” Breanna said “You can't trust wilderness paths ”

“But my talent indicates this is the best,” Edsel said, perplexed.

“What's that caught in its tentacles?” Pia asked

Breanna peered “That's Para” she cried “The duck-footed boat.”

“A what?” Edsel asked

“We met it by the Isle of Women last year,” Breanna said “It was traveling between a pair of docks. It's really nice. We've got to save it.”

Edsel appreciated the pun pair of docks = paradox “But what good is a—a boat with feet?”

“You'll see This is the boat your talent led you to, and it's much better than the other. How can we rescue it?”

“Perhaps we can arrange an exchange,” Justin said.

Edsel laughed “How about my Lemon for the boat?”

“We can try,” Justin said doubtfully.

Pia helped Edsel move the Lemon into position just beyond the range of the tangle tree's tentacles. Then he stood to the side, while she sat on it and smiled. Pretty girls made anything salable, and she was excruciatingly pretty now.

“Tangle Tree.” Edsel said “How would you like to trade this for that?” He gestured to the Lemon, then to the tangled boat.

The tree considered. Edsel could tell by the way its tentacles twitched. Then it released the boat. The boat promptly got its dozen or so feet under it and ran away from the tree.

“Para!” Breanna cried The boat ran to her, and she hugged its wooden prow “I'm so glad we found you in time.”

The boat was evidently glad too. It curled its webbed feet and quivered.

“However.” Justin said to it. “We feel that one favor deserves another. We have rescued you; will you transport us?”

The boat slapped a foot against the ground, and stood still. That seemed to be agreement.

Meanwhile, Edsel wheeled the Lemon toward the tangle tree. “Here's your bike,” he said sadly. “Though I'm not sure what use you will have for it.”'

The tentacles shook. “Retreat!” Justin called. “The tree is angry.” Edsel quickly backed off. “What's the problem? We made a deal.”

“I think I understand.” Justin said. “There may have been a misunderstanding. The tree thought you meant Pia.”

Oops. Pia had sat on the bike, decorating it, as he gestured to it. The tree would not have had much experience with Mundane marketing techniques.

“But I'm not about to be going to go get gobbled by that monster,” Pia protested.

“Then it appears we are reneging on the understanding,” Justin said. “That is not good policy.”

“For sure,” Breanna agreed. “We've got to work something out.”

Edsel had a notion. “Suppose Pia uses the teller to get a talent that will protect her from the tree, so it can't eat her?”

“I don't want to stay forever in its tangles either,” Pia protested. Still, she took the teller. “What's my talent?”

“Hearing anything close by.”

She cocked her head. “I hear bugs talking to each other through their antennae,” she said. “But that won't help me. What's my talent?”

“To be ineffably charming.”

“That won't help me either! I—”

“Wait,” Justin said. “It might after all help. If your talent is to be charming beyond the capacity of mere words to express, perhaps you could charm the tree into accepting the machine.”

Pia considered. “Would I have to get within its reach?”

“I regret that you probably would, as the full measure of your charm is incapable of being verbalized.”

“No, she could just let it look at her,” Breanna said. “That's not words.”

“Perhaps so,” Justin agreed doubtfully.

“Well, I'll try it,” Pia said, just as dubious. She stepped close to Edsel and the Lemon, and struck a pose. It was a charming pose. “Tangler,” she said dulcetly. “May I call you that? I was just the decoration for the motorcycle, not the offering. It was a misunderstanding. But you know, that machine is as useful to you as the quack footed boat. I mean. you can't eat either one. But there's nothing else in Xanth like the Lemon, so maybe it would be a tourist attraction or something. So maybe it's a fair deal after all. Doesn't that make sense to you?” She smiled winningly.

Edsel stared. Pia had always been able to turn on the charm, when she wanted to, but this was moreso than she had ever been before. It wasn't just that she was lovely, in her sixteen year old perfect body. There was an intangible aura about her that made her ultimately winsome and sweet. Justin and Breanna felt it too; he could see them watching as avidly as he was. The magic was truly working. She could charm tears from a stone.

The tangle tree was feeling it as well; its tentacles were quivering their tips curling and uncurling.

“And such a big, strong, handsome tree as you can surely afford to be generous.” Pia continued. She adjusted her pose to show more thigh. Edsel wasn't sure that was smart, as it might just make the tree hungry. but he didn't dare interfere. “You wouldn't want to gobble up poor little me, would you?” The tentacles twisted in denial; how could they do that awful thing? “Because I know that deep down inside your vegetable heart you're really a nice creature.” She stepped forward and took hold of the end of a tentacle. “Won't you make the deal, and take the Lemon, and let me leave with my sincere appreciation?” She lifted the tentacle to her face and kissed it.

The whole tree quivered and turned vaguely pink. Edsel acted on cue, and wheeled the Lemon forward. Several tentacles reached out to take hold of it, and Edsel retreated.

“Oh, thank you so much, generous tree!” Pia exclaimed, and hugged the tentacle to her fair bosom. The tree seemed ready to melt. Edsel felt much the same way. Pia was an utterly charming creature.

“Well, bye-bye, Tangler,” Pia said, turning and walking slowly away. Her rear view was as compelling as her front view, as she well knew. The tree might not care about her sex appeal, however much Edsel did. but her charm was undimmished. The tentacles were limp with appreciation.

“I believe that does it,” Justin said. “Very nice performance, Pia.” The compliment was obviously sincere, as his eyes were halfway glazed.

“It was fun,” she confessed. “Now let's get the bleep out of here.”

“For sure,” Breanna agreed. They climbed into the boat.

Edsel realized that the charm was fading. Pia had used up the talent.

But she remained a lovely creature. How he hoped that this adventure in the Land of Xanth would somehow persuade her to reconcile the marriage.

He got into the boat. The duck feet got moving, carrying the boat and them along. He looked back to see the Lemon disappearing into the green mass of foliage. At least it had turned out to be useful.

Pia turned back to wave at the tangle tree, and it actually waved a tentacle back. So it could see and understand, as many creatures and things of Xanth seemed to be able to do. She rather liked that; it was a considerable contrast to Mundania's perversity of the inanimate. She also liked having her beautiful body back, though she knew she would revert to normal when she returned home. Now if only she could get rid of the diabetes, and stay rid of it in the real world. But of course such fancies were foolish.

Meanwhile, Para the duck footed boat was transporting them to the Isle of Talents. The feet enabled it to cruise over land and water without pause. It seemed to be floating on land. Certainly it was nice to let her own feet rest. Edsel's temporary talent really had steered him right.

“I am curious about one thing,”' Justin said. “You folk mentioned seeing a dark castle in this general region. But we know of no castle here. Could you be more explicit?”

“It was just a dark outline against the sky,” Edsel said. “And it vanished at the crack of dawn. So I think it's like the path: one way by night.”

“Did it seem inimical?”

“Seem what?”

“Hostile.” Pia said, translating. “No. it was just there, and scary.”

“The phantasm did not seem hostile either,” Justin said. “It merely led you on, assuming the guise of Breanna.”

“To whatever it was leading us to,” Pia agreed. “I knew it was nowhere I wanted to be ”

“This perplexes me. Normally the dangers of Xanth are not subtle. If the phantasm wished you harm, it should have done it as soon as you were clear of the enchanted path. Why did it go to the considerable trouble of making a protected path of its own to bring you to an apparent castle?”

“Protected path?” Edsel asked.

“It must have been, because you came to no harm in the night. There are many dangers in the dark.”

“Oh. I don't know about that,” Breanna demurred. “I like the dark.”

“That is because your own talent is to see in blackness, dear girl,” Justin said fondly. “So you can go about by night as readily as by day. But normal folk can't see well in darkness, so it is both more frightening and more dangerous for them.”

“Are you implying that I'm not normal?” Breanna demanded archly. Pia noted that she was flirting, but could use some tips about how to do it better.

“Dear girl, you will never be normal,” Justin said gallantly. “You are uniquely endowed.”

“Endowed,” Breanna echoed. “As in holding hands?”

Justin spluttered. She had scored on an awkward memory. Pia wondered how that scene had worked out. Probably it hadn't gotten beyond the “hand holding” stage, but maybe that was enough for now.

They passed a small creature, like a squirrel, with pearly gray fur. perched on a bright spot of stone, its little chin held high. “That's so cute,” Pia said. “I wonder if it would let me stroke it.”

“Don't touch it!” Justin said, alarmed. “That's a chin-chilla.”

“A chinchilla? Their fur is—”

“No. It feeds on chili powder, and cools whatever it touches. Sometimes greatly. See the ice around it?”

Now she realized that the stone was actually ice. Just as well she hadn't touched the pretty creature. But they had already left it behind, and were coming up on another creature, that looked almost like a dog. But not quite. “What is that?”

“Laika,” Justin replied. “Don't touch it either; they bite when afraid.”

“Like a?”

“Yes, that's its nature: to be like a familiar creature, so that no one will hurt it.”

Then they passed a region of balls. Some were bobbing up and down, while others were bashing back and forth “The vertical ones are bowling balls.” Justin explained. “They are very courteous. The horizontal ones are not nice at all; they are sock-her balls.”

Indeed, one came zooming at Pia, just missing her and striking the side of the boat, and rebounding. It had tried to sock her. She was glad they were now in the boat instead of afoot; this could have been an awkward region to cross.

The boat reached the water, and splashed into it. The Isle of Talents was in sight. It looked as serene and innocent as ever. Which showed how islands were not to be trusted.

Para Ducks was much faster than she and Edsel had been in the other boat, and soon they were at the isle. “Now how arc we going to handle this?” Pia asked.

“Justin and I can't afford to touch the Isle.” Breanna said seriously. “We'll have to wait here on the boat And Para shouldn't touch either; he might lose his ability to float. So you'll have to go ashore on your own get good talents, return Teller, and come back here.”

Pia nodded. “That makes sense. But won't you folk be bored, wailing out here?”

“Sure. So maybe we'll hold hands.”

“Breanna!” Justin said, blushing.

“They won't be bored,” Edsel murmured “How about you and I?”

“Forget it.” She wasn't mad at him; she just wanted to maintain control. He was ever the opportunist. Anyway, this was hardly the time.

The boat drew up to a rock beside the water. Edsel stepped onto it, feeling his talent change, then braced himself and held out his hand to steady Pia

They walked to the interior, searching for the teller's pedestal. “Before we leave it, we had better make sure we have good talents,” Pia reminded him.

He brought out the teller. “What's my Talent?”

“You can modify or deflect other folks' talents.”

“That's worth saving.” Pia said.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

She took the teller. “What my talent?”

“You can speak things real.”

“What does that mean'” But of course the thing didn't answer.

“I guess you'll just have to try it to find out.” Edsel said unhelpfully.

“What am I going to do—speak of a mountain of chocolate?” A mound appeared before them. It was a small mountain of chocolate. She reached out and broke off a piece to taste. It was delicious.

“But now I've used up the talent,“ she said regretfully. ”I can't speak anything else real."

“Sorry about that.” he said, breaking off a chunk of chocolate for himself.

Frustrated, she addressed the teller again. “What's my talent?”

“To put wings on anything ”

She considered. “How useful might that be?”

“I’m not sure.“ Edsel said. ”There's no guarantee they could make anything fly. Take a person, for example: put wings on him, and he wouldn't be able to fly, because he would not have the muscle or the balance or the experience."

She trusted his logic “Very well. I’ll throw this one away.” She looked around, spied a rock, and willed it to have wings.

Wings sprouted. Evidently startled, the rock flapped them wildly. It sailed up into the air and flew away.

“Then again. I could be wrong.” Edsel said.

“Now he tells me.” she muttered. But she doubted she would have wanted to keep that particular talent anyway. “What's my talent?”

“To know what is inimical.”

“That will do.” she said. “I won't invoke it now ”

“If Justin's right, once we get off the isle without the teller, our talents will stay.”

“Yes. Let's do it before we lose them.”

They found the pedestal and set the teller on it. This time it stayed. They walked carefully back, never jumping.

In due course they reached the rock. There was the boat a little way out. Justin and Breanna were sitting in it embracing. Actually she seemed to be sitting on his lap, and one of each of their hands was out of sight. “They ate making progress.” Pia murmured.

“For sure.” he agreed, smiling. “That little girl could hold my hand anytime.”

“Oh?” Pia inquired dangerously.

“Look, Pia—you said we should be dating out. Of course I wouldn't touch Breanna, because she belongs to Justin. But someone else—” He shrugged.

He had a point. If they were going to divorce, they needed to be trying other relationships “Sorry. You're right. You can hold hands with someone else.”

“How about a nude nymph?”

He was testing her. “If you can catch her, you can have her.” She masked it. but he had succeeded in making her faintly uneasy. He had always been faithful to her, and it wasn't comfortable to give him leave to be otherwise.

They waved to the boat, and it paddled in. Pia braced against Edsel and stepped in first, then he followed. The boat moved out

“So what talents do you two have?” Breanna asked eagerly

“Knowing what's inimical.” Pia said.

“Modifying or deflecting other talents,” Edsel said.

“These are useful talents.” Justin said.

“You should have seen the one that got away,” Pia said. “T made a mountain of chocolate.”

“And you left it behind9” Breanna wailed.

“Not entirely.” Edsel said, producing a big chunk.

Breanna took it. “I love chocolate, especially black chocolate.” She broke off a section.

“She has a fondness for all things black,” Justin remarked. He glanced at her. “So do I, now."

Breanna looked at him. “So does that mean you want me or the chocolate?”

“Both are surely delicious.”

She nodded. “Correct answer.” She broke off a piece for him. then gave the main mass back to Edsel

“This is supper. I think.” Edsel said. “So we don't have to stop to look for a pie tree.”

They pitched in. demolishing the chocolate.

“But we'd better test our talents,” Pia said. “To verify, and make sure they don't fade.” She looked around. “Anything maybe dangerous around?”

“Deep water's usually dangerous, if there aren't mermaids in it.” Breanna said

Pia dipped her finger in the water. It tingled almost painfully She jerked it out. A big blue fish snapped at the spot her hand had just been.

“Loan shark.” Breanna said. “They'll take an arm and a leg if you let them.”

“I see,” Pia said, shaken. “My talent did warn me, though.”

“Do you still have it?” Edsel asked.

“Well. I hope so.” She paused, gazing at her finger. "Oh—you mean the talent.”

“That too.”

She brought her hand near the water. It didn't tingle. “I'm not feeling anything,” she said, alarmed.

“There may be no danger now.” Justin said.

“But suppose there is, and my talent's not working?”

“That is an excellent consideration.”

Pia's concern for her talent overrode her caution. She lowered her hand and touched the water. Nothing happened. There was no shark.

But after a moment the tingle started. She pulled her hand out, and saw a dark shape glide by below. “It's working.” she said, relieved. “But why doesn't the shark go after the duck feet?”

“I think Para's feet are magically protected.” Breanna said. “He goes everywhere. even the deep sea, and his feet never get in trouble.”

“How do I test my talent?” Edsel asked. “I don't think I should try to mess with any of yours.”

“A sensible caution.” Justin agreed. “There should be opportunity to experiment in due course.”

“So let's get the bleep on back to the enchanted path,” Pia said. “I want to be able to relax.”

Justin frowned. “It is now nearing dusk. Even with this fine transportation, it will require several hours to pick our way through the jungle, and it will not be safe at night. We would do better to find a place to camp, and make the return trip by daylight.”

“I like traveling by night,” Breanna said.

“You are competent by night.” he said. “In more than one sense. But we others are not. We would blunder and bring danger on our heads.”

She nodded. “Sometimes I miss my days of solitary wandering. Okay. let's find somewhere safe to camp.”

“I have an idea.” Justin said “However, you may not agree.”

Breanna shot two glances at Pia and Edsel. “He's usually not fooling when he says something like that.”

“We'd better hear it. though.” Pia said, curious.

“We could explore that dark castle.”

Pia felt a shock. “You're right: I don't like it.”

“What's your reason?” Breanna asked him.

“The phantom who led the two of them astray did not try to hurt them. The path did not lead to a tangle tree or dragon's lair. This suggests that the intention was not necessarily inimical.”

“And we can check inimical,” Pia said, catching on.

“Yes. It might be that there is something of interest to us at the end of that path.”

“With our collected talents, we could try it.” Breanna said. “And back off in a hurry if it looks bad.”

“But the castle's gone.” Edsel said.

“It should reappear at the crack of night,” Justin said.

Edsel shrugged. “If it does, let's try it. It's not nearly as scary to me, now that you folk are here.”

Pia agreed. The boat carried them rapidly toward the region of the castle as dusk loomed.

They passed a pizza pie tree. “We'd better harvest some of those for supper.” Breanna said. “We can eat as we travel.”

They paused and took a harvest break and rest stop. Pia, looking for suitable bushes, discovered a low wall or ledge, just the right height for sitting on. So on her return she sat on it—and suddenly all the knowledge in the world seemed to flood into her head. Alarmed, she jumped up and ran back to join the others. “Something—something—” she gasped.

Soon the others were looking at the wall. Justin sat cautiously on it. “Why this is a know-ledge,” he said. “It provides much knowledge to anyone who applies his posterior.”

“A seat of learning,” Edsel said.

“Exactly. I must mark its location, so we can return when we need further education.”

Meanwhile. Breanna was exploring the other end of the wall “There's a window in it,” she called “It—OUCH!”

They ran to join her “That is a window pain.” Justin said. “Made from bad tempered glass, probably shattered in its childhood. It hurts anyone who touches it.”

“Tell me about it,” Breanna said, holding her hand. But she was not injured.

Then, with a boatful of assorted pizza pies, and several warm blankets and pillows, they rode on.

“Does Para need to eat?” Pia asked.

“Not that I know of.” Breanna said. She tapped the side of the boat. “Hey. Para—want a pizza?”

There was no response, other than a slight weaving from side to side. That seemed to be an answer.