I grab a fistful of his sheets and pull them up around my chest, holding them beneath my chin. It hits me anew that tonight, my man’s hard work paid off. Mountains & Men is going to be going on tour in just over a month for just over a month. A part of me is thrilled for him. He deserves it. They all do. Yet, the selfish part of me, the weakest part of me, the most vulnerable part of me—she’s afraid of those six weeks.
I’m an independent woman. I can survive without him. But I gave him my heart. Where he goes, it goes. It’s a flaw of mine—part of the reason the pieces of me that he holds are just that—
pieces
. Trusting him while he’s on the road is my only option. Trusting that, when he gets back, I’ll still be the woman he wants. Trusting that, when he gets back, he’ll still have my fractured heart in his hand.
And yet, even
trusting
him isn’t what scares me the most.
What scares me the most is just how much I’ll miss him when he’s gone.
My dreamer.
My rock star.
My twenty-one-year old boyfriend whom I fought so hard to resist.
Fuck. Am I a fool?
I’m pulled from my thoughts when I hear the door open, followed by the sound of little paws and a pair of feet. Sage closes the door behind him, a smirk tugging at his lips when he sees that I’m still awake. He sits on the edge of the bed and I push myself up to accept the water he promised. I drink it until it’s all gone and then hand him the glass. He sets it aside and then kisses my swollen lips softly before turning out the bedside lamp.
I lay back down, closing my eyes as I listen to him discard his boxers once more. When he slips under the sheets behind me, he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me back against him. He buries his nose between my shoulder and my neck, breathing me in before he relaxes and surrenders to sleep.
As I begin to drift off, I answer my own question.
Whether this is foolish or not, this—right here, right now—makes him worth the risk.
MONDAY MORNING, WE
all pile into Derrick’s SUV to make our trip down to Denver. Maddox, who rivals Millicent when it comes to waking up grumpy in the morning, sleeps the entire trip. Knox, JJ, Derrick and I chat idly, tossing around ideas and questions about what we should expect at this meeting with Stefany. D is the most levelheaded; then again, he always is. He spent most of Sunday afternoon doing research on management contracts, scouring the web for anything and everything he could find on one Ms. Stefany Jordan.
Apparently, she’s been around the industry for a couple of years. She’s worked with a few local bands, but nobody really big. She’s twenty-seven, single, and a graduate from DU. Upon hearing the information that D was able to find, Knox has his doubts—but none of us are crazy enough to back out of an opportunity to go on our first national tour. This is Lawful Sinners' last
hoorah
for the year, and they’ll be hitting twenty cities in six weeks. No way in hell can we pass that up.
It isn’t until we pull up to our destination that I realize Alex hasn’t said a word since we left. It’s ten minutes until our scheduled meeting. As we head inside, I hang toward the back, reaching for her arm as the others walk ahead.
“Hey, you’re quiet. What’s up?”
She shrugs and shakes her head, sliding her hands into her back pockets.
“Not falling for that, Zip. Out with it.”
She stops and frees a sigh as she looks up at me. I fold my arms across my chest and arch an eyebrow expectantly.
“You guys have been together for years. You’ve worked your asses off for this very moment. I wasn’t here to see it, but I can feel it. I can feel it when I play with you guys. I can
hear
it in the way you guys talk. This deal with Stefany is
huge
. And you know what? You deserve it. I really believe that. It’s just like Stefany said the other night. You have the potential to make a name for yourselves. You’re
that good.
”
“We,” I correct her with a furrowed brow. “
We
are that good. You’re part of this band, too, Alex.”
She coughs out a self-deprecating laugh. “See, that’s where this gets a little messed up. I’ve played
one
show with you. Just one.” She holds up a finger, as if I need a visual. “I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve to be a part of your greatness. Who am I? Seriously, I’m just the new kid who got lucky. Right place, right time. And maybe I should be flipping out with excitement, but it just doesn’t feel right.”
“Bullshit,” I deadpan.
“Excuse me?”
“
Bull-fucking-shit.
” I enunciate each syllable very carefully to ensure that she hears me loud and clear. “So you’re new, who cares? You killed it at The Brew. You were every bit the badass that you promised. We wouldn't be here if we didn’t have you. A band without a bass is not a band at all.
“None of those guys in there gives a damn about your
tenure
. We voted you in, so you’re in, Zip. If you don’t feel like you deserve what’s coming, stick around long enough to earn your place. But remember, you’re the only one who thinks you don’t deserve this. You joined the band a week ago, but you picked up that bass
years
ago. So, yeah, I’m calling bullshit.”
She stares at me for a moment, her eyes wide in surprise. Then, slowly, I watch as her face relaxes, her mouth turning up in a lopsided smile. She folds her arms across her chest, mimicking me, and I can tell the wheels in her head are turning. “Ever think about going into motivational speaking? I swear, you have a knack for it.”
I bark out a laugh and shake my head at her. “Just call it like I see it. Now come on.” I walk behind her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders before guiding her after the others. “We’ve got a future to discuss.”
We catch up with the rest of the band at the elevators. They all look from me to Alex, an unspoken question in their eyes.
“Stage fright,” I tell them, squeezing Alex’s shoulders before I let her go.
“Babe, we really have to shake that shit,” says Maddox, tipping his chin at her.
“Yeah, Zip—we only go up from here,” Knox adds, playfully nudging her with his elbow.
“You’re a badass, remember?” asks Derrick.
“I’m working on it, boys. I’m working on it,” she insists with a grin.
“We’re only as strong as our weakest member,” JJ begins to say, his tone serious. “Don’t go stealing Maddy’s title, you hear?”
“
Fuck off
, you douche!” cries Maddox, flipping JJ the finger.
JJ bats at his hand, all of us laughing—Maddox included. Alex just shakes her head at us, amused and seemly more at ease than she was a minute ago.
The elevator dings and we all step in. As we ride to the third floor, I feel my nerves in my stomach zing with anxious anticipation. This is all about to get
real.
Suddenly, every negative thing anyone has ever said about me—about my goals, my dreams—it fuels my assurance that I’m doing
exactly
what I was meant to do. Too many people who claimed to love me, who promised they would believe in me no matter what, have broken their word. My parents, Nora, a bunch of losers I’ve met along the way, they never understood how much this all meant and how hard I intended to fight for it. I’m about to prove every single one of them wrong.
This is just the beginning. I can feel it. Mountains & Men is going places.
Or we’ll fuckin’ die trying.
Once we find the suite number that matches the one on Alex’s card, we’re met with a receptionist who looks like she hates the world. I don’t think any of us are overly enthusiastic about approaching her, which turns out to be okay. Stefany rounds the corner, her focus glued to the phone in her hand, and we’re spared the unpleasant exchange with the woman behind the front desk.
Stefany looks much like she did the other day—dressed down and looking totally chill. She’s got on boots that remind me of Alex’s, dark jeans, a
Guns and Roses
t-shirt, and a scarf wrapped loosely around her neck. Her hair is up and out of her face, and I realize I kind of like her style.
“Stefany, hey,” I speak up, catching her attention.
“Ah, perfect! You’re here. And right on time. I
love
that.” She holds up one finger and finishes typing whatever she’s working on before she pockets her phone and greets us properly. I’m impressed that she remembers all of our names as she says hello, shaking each one of our hands. “Okay—I work in a little shit-hole-in-the-wall they like to call an office, so we’re going to take our meeting to the conference room. Right this way, fellas.” She starts walking and then stops abruptly, turning on her heel to face us once more. “Shit. I’m sorry. Alex, you’re so fucking outnumbered, here.”
“It’s okay,” she says with a chuckle.
“Church mouse is one of us, right, babe?” Maddox drapes his arm around her shoulders, earning him an amused smirk from Alex.
“Yeah,” she says with a nod.
“Thing is, Stefany, her pussy is off limits to any of us, which essentially makes her one of the guys. So, you’re good.”
“Good
Lord.
Maddox, don’t talk about my—
kitty cat,
” she insists, shoving her way out of Maddox’s grasp.
We all bust out laughing and I can tell that Stefany is fighting her amusement like a champ. She clears her throat, twice, and then nods over her shoulder. “God, this is going to be fun. Come on, guys.”
When we enter the conference room, there is already someone inside. He’s an older guy—I’d guess in his late forties, early fifties—and he’s wearing slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie. Our residual laugher dies down when we spot him standing upon our entrance.
“Mountains & Men, this is Brooks—Brooks, Mountains & Men.” He offers us a nod and then Stefany invites us all to take a seat. “Here’s the deal, before we talk shop, we have to do the legally binding stuff. Brooks here is an old family friend. He’s a lawyer I like to bring in sometimes when negotiating a contract. Believe me when I tell you, this is for
your
benefit, not mine. He’s here to answer any question that you might have.
“Something I want you to know about me—I’m sure, if you did your homework, you know I’m not the most experienced manager in the industry. I’ve been around the block, but only a couple times. Here’s what’s up, though—the
last
thing I want to do is cut corners to get to the level I aspire to reach. My integrity is about all I’ve got and I want us to be able to trust each other. As long as we don’t have to worry about our relationship, then we can handle all the other bullshit as it comes.
“This contract,” she continues, pointing to the stack of papers in front of Brooks, “is to be beneficial for all parties involved. I will
bust my ass
for you, and I want you to know that up front. I’m good at this. I’m not afraid to approach the big guns, nor am I above hounding the people who have what I need. I’ll do that for you guys. In return, I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain. Your integrity matters, too. This is about
music
. It’s why I got into this business and, no matter what, it’s all I care about. The money will come if you guys keep rockin’ the way you do. It’s my job to put you in front of the right audience; it’s your job to keep their attention. If we both give it our all, we both win. That being said, shall we dive into the fine print?”
I look around at my mates, replaying her words in my head.
This is about
music.
I’m greener than fucking spring grass when it comes to the big leagues of music, but I know I like what she’s about. At the end of the day, she’s our guide, but it’s our music that brought us here and it’s our music that will keep us going. Sounds to me like she gets that. I, for one, am ready to sign this shit now, but I know we have to be smarter than that.
When Knox offers me a shrug and a nod, I know that means his reservations are waning. Derrick murmurs that he’s in, followed by JJ, Maddox, and then Alex. Stefany looks to me, a hopeful expression on her face, and a smirk tugs at my lips.
“Let’s do this.”