Then again—that’s part of the job, being an OBGYN and all.
Too bad for them, he’s been officially off the market for the past five years. He’s a good guy, my brother-in-law, and I couldn’t ask for a better man to love my big sis.
Since the bar is loud and our table is full, Millie is spared from too much conversation with my siblings. After a few general questions, Rosy excuses herself to the bathroom and Pepper pulls out her phone, apologetic but insistent that she send mom a text to check on her
little Montgomeries.
As soon as she’s no longer the topic of discussion, Millie grabs my beer and chugs half of it. I chuckle when she pulls the bottle away from her lips and draws in a few deep breaths. “I thought you didn’t like beer, baby,” I say, wrapping my arm around her waist as I pull her close.
“It’ll do for now.” She takes another sip and then looks at me guiltily. “Shit—I didn’t think—you’re going on soon. Was this to help calm your nerves?”
“Nah,” I assure her, shaking my head to emphasize my answer. “I’m not nervous, baby doll.”
“You’re not? Not even a little bit?” she asks, lifting her eyebrows in question.
“No. Why should I be? Tonight, I’m playing with my boys, like always. My sisters are here. My girl is here. The crowd is primed and ready—I’ve got everything I need. No matter what happens after our last jam, we’re going to kick ass, and I’m going to enjoy every fucking second of it.”
She stares at me for a second, not uttering a word. Then she grabs a fist-full of my shirt and pulls me closer before crashing her lips against mine. My hands immediately slide down her sides before resting on her ass as I kiss her back. She pulls away just as abruptly as she leaned in, and my eyes go straight for her lips as she speaks.
“I can’t wait.”
I offer her a grin, giving her ass a squeeze, and she giggles. Too soon, the moment is broken when I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Hey,” Rosy begins hesitantly. “Sorry to interrupt, but I thought you’d like to know…well, you go on in a half an hour and Alex was just in the bathroom puking her guts out.”
“Shit.”
“She shrugged it off, saying it was just nerves, and then scurried backstage before I could really talk to her. I think she might need a bit of a pep-talk.”
I look from Rosy to Millie, my mind tracing its way back to the day we met Alex. JJ asked her why she wasn’t in a band already and she said she struggled with stage fright.
Fuck
. We never brought it up again. The last thing we need is for her to lose her shit up there—
hell, if we can get her up there at all.
“I gotta go, doll.” I kiss Millicent once. Twice. Three times. “Stay with Vi. I’ll see you after, yeah?” She nods and I smack her ass before I let her go and kiss the top of Rosy’s head. I make my way through the crowd, not bothering to tell the guys where I’m going. Hopefully, I can squash this shit before it becomes a problem.
Backstage, the sound of the music and the full bar die down just a bit. It’s not a big space, the area doubling as a place for storing extra stock, and it doesn’t take me long to spot Alex. She’s sitting on the ground, her back against the wall in the hallway leading to the back exit. As I approach, I notice that her hands are clasped together in her lap and her lips are moving. I pause, wondering if I’m intruding on some sort of meditation ritual or some shit, but she hears me and looks up.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Am I interrupting?”
“No. Not really.” She sighs heavily and gestures to the space beside her. I accept her invitation, sliding down the wall until I’m seated next to her. “Praying really only works if you believe what you’re saying, you know?”
“Uh,” I mutter with a chuckle. “Not big on prayer.”
“Right. Well, in the event that you ever want to try it, it works best with a little faith. I can ask God for courage all I want, but if I don’t believe He’ll give it to me—my pleas are counterproductive. Right now, I’m not feeling very confident.”
“Yeah,” I begin with a small nod. “Heard you lost your cookies.”
“More like the peanut butter and honey sandwich and Doritos I had for dinner, but yeah.”
“That’s gross.”
“Sorry,” she says with a little laugh. She sighs again and I nudge her with my shoulder.
“You’re ready for this, Zip. Trust me, there’s no way in hell you’d be here tonight if I thought any different.”
“Yeah. I believe you. Really, I do. Honestly, earlier today, I felt great. I felt excited. It means so much to me that I get to do this with you guys. But then we got here and…I don’t know.”
“The crowd freak you out?”
“No, actually. I can handle the people. My stage fright is more like…my own personal demon. It’s a lie that lives inside of me, preventing me from doing exactly what I’ve always dreamed of. It sucks.”
I nod, replaying her words in my mind. I understand what it’s like to battle the demon within. We all have them, they just manifest themselves in different ways. I’ve been putting up one hell of a fight for years. Most days, I feel like the fucking king of the world—conquering that shit. But every once and a while, I go to war with my own inadequacy and the question that drives me to work my ass off, even when I’m unsure of the answer…
“You know, we’re not called
Mountains & Men
for nothing.” She looks at me, raking her fingers through her hair as she waits for me to continue. “This is our dream. Playing music,
sharing
music,
that’s
the dream. But for all of us, behind that dream is an obstacle—something that feels insurmountable—
a mountain
. The dream, though…it’s worth the climb—worth the struggle, the effort, and the fight.
“You’re not the only one with demons. You’re not the only one with insecurities. You just have to play through that shit. If you’re going to be one of us, Alex, you have to be willing to climb your fucking mountain. It’s what makes the dream worthy of the title. So—are you one of us?”
She studies me for a moment, as if she’s really considering the question. I respect her for respecting the question and I stare back at her, willing her to grab her demon by the balls and own that motherfucker. Finally, she offers me one curt nod.
“I’m one of you.”
“Alright,” I say with a grin. I stand to my feet and offer her a hand. She takes it, standing with me. “Let’s do it, then.”
Before she lets go of my hand, she squeezes my fingers and takes a step closer to me. “Thank you, Sage. Really.”
“You got it.”
“I’m going to run to the bathroom before we go on.” I lift an eyebrow at her and she giggles. “I promise not to puke. I just have to pee.”
“Get out of here, then,” I say, shooing her away.
I watch her go as the rest of the guys file into the staging area. Knox looks at me, then over his shoulder where Alex just disappeared, and then back at me. “You got a chick. You know you can’t tap that, right?”
I scoff, giving him the finger. “I’m not trying to tap that.”
“Tap who? Tap
Alex?
” asks JJ.
“No.
Fuck,
no!” cries Maddox. “Band-fucking-rule! Nobody taps the fuckin’ church mouse! We
do not
need that kind of drama. Can we agree?”
Knox, JJ, Derrick and I all exchange a look—more amused by Maddy’s outburst than anything else. He’s right, though, and we all know it. We only pause a second before we all chime—
“
Aye
.”
AS SOON AS
Derrick and JJ leave to meet up with the others, Rosemary and Violet insist that it’s time to head to the dance floor. The band on stage wraps up their set and the lull between bands is everyone else’s cue to head to the bar for refills.
“Front and center—just the way I like it,” says Rose with a grin.
“I wonder what this
Stefany
looks like,” Violet says as she scans the room. “She better be here, that’s for sure.”
“I bet she is, and she’s in for one hell of a treat!” Rose beams.
“What are they talking about?” asks Lindsey, leaning down to mock-whisper in my ear.
I explain to her about the band meeting the tour manager for Lawful Sinners and expressing interest in having Mountains & Men come along as an opening act. This
Travis
guy never said it was absolutely certain that Stefany would be in attendance tonight, but he did say that he’d tell her she’d be missing out if she wasn’t. I know how excited they are for the possibility to go on their first national tour, and I really hope their hard work pays off tonight.
While we wait for the guys to set up on stage, the house speaker plays the latest radio hits. I can’t help but notice Pepper and Harry as they sway to the beat, wrapped in each other’s arms. They look so in love, and a pang of longing fills my chest. There’s a part of me that still refuses to hope for that—that kind of commitment and affection. I know I have Sage, but I’m already in way over my head with him. To wish for any more seems stupid.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when a group of giggling girls comes to fill the space on the other side of Lindsey. They’re obviously enjoying themselves, and their drinks, and I decide to pay them no mind—that is, until I catch wind of their conversation.
“Remind me again why we’re up here?” asks one of them.
“
Hello!
This is the whole reason we’re here. I
told
you, M&M is the shit. And Sage, O-M-G, totally fuckable.”
“Bitch—hands off,” her friend says with a wide smile. “The fine ass man on the mic is mine.
God
, have you seen the way he moves his hips?” She frees an exaggerated groan and I pull my lip between my teeth.
He certainly does have a way with his hips. It’s fucking magical.
“Whatever—while you two fight over Sage, I’ll be taking Derrick home with
me
. That tongue—mmm. I just want to suck it.”
Lindsey laughs, catching my attention, and I can’t help but chuckle with her. “Seems we’re hanging out with some groupies! I
love
it!”
I shake my head at her just as the overhead music fades and the lights dim.
“Seriously, though—does that bother you?” she asks, nodding to the girls beside her.
I shrug as I try and figure out the answer to her question. The truth is, they aren’t wrong. He is
totally fuckable.
I can’t fault them for thinking the same exact thing that I did a month ago. Besides, he’s chosen me. I’m right here, right now, and he’s chosen
me.
“You don’t call him
Sexy McHottington
for nothing,” I reply with a lopsided smile.
Lindsey laughs, nudging me with her elbow, and then we both direct our attention to the stage. The guys file out with no introduction; but when the room fills with cheers, it’s obvious that they don’t need one. As Derrick settles behind his drum set and Knox, Maddox, and Alex strap on their instruments, Sage steps up to the mic and scans the crowd with a smirk. When he spots his sisters, they both cry, “
We love you!”
He points down at them, his smirk turning into a grin. Then his eyes find mine and he offers me a wink.
A wink.
That’s all it takes to make my stomach flutter.
He looks back over his shoulder, I assume to make sure that everyone is ready. When he turns to look over his right side, I notice as he nods to Alex. He then curls his arms in front of him, flexing his muscles, making her laugh. She bobs her head with excitement and then curls her arms up and flexes in return. I have no idea what that’s about, but it seems to be his cue to start.
“Hey, hey,” he says, speaking into the mic. The crowd roars and a devilish grin spreads across Sage’s impossibly handsome face. “We thought we’d play a little while. You good with that?” His question is met with more cheers. “Hmm, I couldn’t quite hear you.” Their fans scream louder and he nods his approval. Derrick clicks the tempo and then starts pounding out the beat as Sage says, “Well, we’re Mountains & Men—and I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time to fuckin’ dance.”
The rest of the band begins to play and Sage jumps up in the air, waving his hands to pump the crowd up even more. Just before he starts to sing, he pulls the mic from out of its stand. My heart races when he hits that first note—his rich, smooth,
sexy
tenor voice washing over me. I sway my hips back and forth, my entire body under the spell of the man on that stage. My eyes devour him as the natural performer in him shines through. He’s so hot up there—every show, it’s the same—he burns blue, like the hottest part of a flame.