Women on the Home Front (116 page)

‘After that you just thought you'd carry on being vindictive.'

Stephen swung a savage glance at her. ‘You deserved a hard time of it for being so wicked, you can't say that ain't true.'

‘Yeah, well, I've had a hard time of it, hard enough to satisfy even a spiteful sod like you.' Pam made to shove open the car door.

‘I never gave you a chance to explain at the time. That were wrong of me.' Stephen put a hand on her arm to delay her then immediately withdrew it. ‘You should have got your say about why you did what you did.'

A silence developed between them as the years peeled away and they relived the time they'd endured together.

‘I felt alone, even though we were married and I had my parents, and Christopher, and a few friends, I felt it was just me up against it all.' Pam had meant to tell him to get lost because it was twenty years too late to pick it over now, but an explanation simply tumbled out of her. ‘I tried to speak to my mum about how I felt … but she had nothing to say apart from
you've made your bed, now lie on it
.' Pam grimaced a smile at a passing car. ‘Heard that regularly once a week at least; more when I went over to beg her to have Christopher for a few hours to give me a break.' She glanced at Stephen. ‘They were disgusted when they found out I was already pregnant when we got wed. They pretended they didn't know. But, the baby was too big to be premature, and the family started to gossip. Mum never forgave me for being a disgrace on that score either.'

‘You said your dad had died …'

‘Yeah … he's gone …'

Stephen continued staring expectantly at her.

‘I do my duty and visit mum a couple of times a year. Neither of us makes much of an effort.' Pam offered up a short answer to his unspoken question.

‘You should have told me at the time you felt like it were all getting on top of you …'

‘Why?' Pam snorted. ‘What bloody use were you?' She threw back her head to shout a mirthless laugh. ‘
Where's me tea … you couldn't keep a rabbit hutch you fat cow
…
I'm off out
… that's all I ever got out of you!' She relished the guilt that flitted over his features before whipping her face away. ‘Soon realised it was just me, on me own. So I liked to quieten Christopher and lose myself in stories in magazines. It was wrong, I know, but from the moment we said our vows it was wrong …' She scrambled out of the car as she felt tears pricking her eyelids.

Stephen got out too and met her by the kerb.

‘I just want to say, I know things might have been different, if I'd been different.' He'd rattled that off quietly before she could disappear indoors. He had an urgent need to acknowledge his part in the misery that had been their brief marriage. Instinctively he understood that if he didn't his relationship with Christopher would suffer in the future. And earning his son's love and respect had been his life's work.

Pam halted by the hedge and muttered, ‘Thanks for saying so. I know you didn't have to tell me, but I've always hoped you might. Always hoped you might say I could see Christopher too.'

‘Well, I'm saying it now … bit late in the day, I know …' Stephen added hoarsely.

Pam glanced at him with eyes that were defeated rather than despising. ‘Yeah … bit late in the day,' she echoed before opening her front gate.

2 June 1953

‘Can you see our queen, Kathleen?' Kieran hoisted his eldest daughter higher on his shoulders then grinned up at her.

‘I can see everything, Daddy,' Kathleen cried out in delight while bobbing her dark head to and fro to get a look over the mass of people in front of her. ‘There's a coach and white horses going by and it's gold and shiny.' Kathleen frantically waved both small hands. ‘A lady is waving at me, Daddy. Is she our queen, Daddy?' Kathleen giggled, jiggling excitedly on her father's shoulders.

Kieran grinned at his wife, carrying Rosie in her arms in an attempt to protect her from the heaving throng. The toddler was squirming to get down but Noreen held onto her, shushing her. People were good-naturedly jostling for position but the Murphys had managed to find, and hang on to, a good spot in The Mall from which to watch the coronation coaches proceed towards Westminster Abbey.

‘It's a wonderful day for us, Noreen.' Kieran sighed contentedly as he lowered Kathleen safely to the ground.

His wife affectionately hugged his arm. ‘It's a long while since I felt so happy.
If you get the job tomorrow it'll be a new start for us. It's a fine day, so it is.' She slanted up a rueful glance at an overcast sky. ‘Even if it does come on to rain later … nothing can spoil it.'

After many, many months scratching around for odd jobs Kieran finally had an interview for a permanent post as a driver for a haulage company. They both knew such an opportunity would give them the means to move out of The Bunk at last.

‘'Ere! I thought you two were staying behind in the street to put up bunting.' That gruff, jovial complaint made the couple swing about to find Matilda weaving through the crowd, accompanied by two of her daughters.

‘And I thought you were staying behind to do all the organising for our grand party,' Noreen saucily came back at her. She'd raised her voice to be heard over renewed cheering.

Coaches carrying members of the royal family, and foreign dignitaries, were following on sedately behind the Gold State Coach towards Westminster Abbey. The crowd was surging forward at intervals, flags flapping noisily in the air.

‘I
was
intending to set to early,' Matilda admitted. ‘But couldn't miss this, could I? I'm glad I didn't. What a glorious sight.' She happily observed the jubilant scene before remembering to introduce the Murphys to Bethany and Alice. ‘Plenty o' time to get the party started. The queen's gone by so we've seen the best of it here, and what we'll miss we can watch tomorrow, on the television set round at Rob's. So we'll be getting off home in a mo.' Matilda sighed in satisfaction. ‘Turned out a lovely day, ain't it? And didn't Elizabeth look a sight fer sore eyes in her furs and jewels? What a get up.'

‘Could see all the stones in her crown sparkling from where I was standing,' Bethany said.

‘
I
saw the queen with her crown,' Kathleen piped up, making them all smile down at her. ‘She waved at me,' she added shyly.

‘My Lilian has got a good spot at the front with some of her kids,' Alice chipped in. ‘Oh, well … Come on, Mum, no point putting it off longer. We'd better get going and get the tables laid out. The little 'uns will be ready for something to eat after all the excitement.' She crouched down to speak to Kathleen. ‘Bet you're ready for some jelly and cake, aren't you?'

Kathleen nodded and bashfully clasped her mother's legs.

Matilda ruffled the little girl's dark locks. ‘Make sure to be back in good time for the kids' feed-up this afternoon,' she reminded Noreen. ‘I'm expecting to see Rosie and Kathleen tucking in.' She gave Kieran a wink. ‘Then later on the adults will have a bit of a knees-up.'

‘Is Christopher here somewhere?' Kieran asked Matilda, glancing about. He owed his thanks to Chris for having put him forward for the job at the haulage company. Vince's father was due to retire and Chris had made it his business to tell Kieran about the vacancy coming up. Kieran had been able to get an interview date arranged before the job was advertised.

‘Ain't seen Chris for a few days,' Matilda said. ‘S'pect him 'n' Grace are busy arranging stuff now they're gonna set a date fer the wedding in September.'

‘Better get a move on,' Bethany warned her mother and sister, checking her watch. ‘Sophy and Danny will be arriving soon and I haven't yet told George what time to meet them when they get off the train.' Beth knew her eldest sister would be disappointed if nobody turned up to give them a lift from the station when they arrived from Essex. Her husband George usually did the honours as they still lived locally.

‘We'll see you lot back at home a bit later.' Matilda and her daughters headed off in the direction of the bus stop.

‘He doesn't look too steady up there. Go and give him a hand, Josh?' Alice asked her husband. She'd been watching her brother-in-law, Danny, up a ladder, tying a banner made from an old sheet to a lamppost. Painted in bold black letters along its length was GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. Sophy's husband was stretching to tighten the cord and wobbling precariously while shouting instructions at a fellow on the opposite pavement who had hold of the other end of the string.

Josh put down the trestle table he'd been erecting and hurried over to give Danny some assistance while Alice continued setting out chairs.

‘They look good enough to eat, Stevie.' Lucy had appeared with an armful of paper tablecloths just as Stephen emerged from Matilda's house carrying a huge platter brimming with sausage rolls. He'd made them earlier at the café and had been keeping them warm on Matilda's little stove.

The savoury aroma wafted temptingly around and the chef had to playfully smack away several hands that snaked out before he could land the plate on the table. ‘Kids first, you greedy lot,' Stephen amiably told the adults who'd tried to snaffle a pastry in between positioning chairs for the children's tea party.

Once the tables were covered in their colourful cloths, paper hats and streamers were scattered along their centres. Union Jacks were already anchored in several sash windows on either side of the road and chains of flags crisscrossed high above their heads, fluttering in the light breeze.

‘Where's Chris?' Rob had come up behind his brother and wolfed down a cheese straw with much smacking of his lips. ‘Not bad,' he said, in praise of Stephen's culinary skills. ‘I thought Chris was in charge of making the bonfire.'

Stephen glanced over to where Vince, Billy and Ted, with much larking about, were stacking up a pile of old timbers. The wood had been collected over the previous weeks from the demolished houses at the other end of the street. Close by, and gently rocking a pram in which slept a baby girl, was Deirdre, keeping a beady eye on her husband.

‘Not seen Chris since yesterday,' Stephen said. ‘He didn't come home last night … the dirty dog …'

‘Stayed with Grace, d'you reckon?' Rob grinned at Stephen.

‘Wouldn't be at all surprised,' Stephen answered. ‘Like a couple of turtle doves, they are; and now they're talking about a date in September …' He gave his brother a wink before adding, more seriously, ‘Think that business with O'Connor setting light to the houses shook him up. He's been acting a bit different. I was the same after I had me own accident,' he mocked himself. ‘Makes you start to think … life's too short to hang about waiting and hoping; just get on and do it's my motto. That's why I jumped in with both feet on the caff. Turned out the best thing me 'n' Pearl ever did.'

‘Yeah …' It was the sum of Rob's agreement to his brother's theory. ‘Chris'll be coming along tonight, though?'

‘He'd better!' Stephen laughed. ‘Or I reckon Matilda'll have his guts fer garters.'

‘What about Pam?' Rob asked, plunging his hands in his pockets while waiting for his brother's response.

‘She got invited; up to her if she turns up. Can't do no more'n ask.'

It had been a blunt statement, as though Stephen didn't care either way. In fact he knew he'd appreciate it if his ex-wife put in an appearance; that way Christopher would know he meant it when he said there was no lingering animosity there on his part. He'd make sure he and Pearl made Pamela feel welcome if she came along. But he had a feeling it would be some time yet before his ex-wife's wounds were healed by the strengthening connection to her son. Stephen knew that it wasn't just duty, or a sense of something lacking in his life that took Chris regularly to Bexleyheath. His son was growing to love the mother he'd never known and, oddly, Stephen felt a quiet contentment because of it.

Briskly Stephen stepped back from the table he'd been piling with food and, before his brother could pursue the subject of his ex-wife, he turned on the spot to watch industrious people intent on making this last Bunk party the best ever. ‘We've had some shindigs here, ain't we?' he said. ‘I can remember as a kid marching up and down at the end of the Great War, banging a spoon on a pot on Armistice Day. Must've been at least a hundred kids in that procession. We all ended up jigging about round the barrel organ … went on for a few days, as I recall.'

‘Then we had a right good celebration in 1935 for King George's Silver Jubilee and another on VE Day.' Rob voiced his own reminiscences, his eyes distant.

‘Stop slacking there, Stevie, and bring out the fairy cakes.' Matilda had come up behind her nephews. ‘And where's Pearl with the jellies?'

‘She's on her way. She was waiting for 'em to set properly. She didn't get back from Trafalgar Square till late. Don't worry, I've torn a strip off her,' he joked. ‘Warned the silly cow she'd get caught in the crush and it'd make her late getting back here.'

‘Can't blame her for hanging about in town. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see the queen on the way to get crowned,' Matilda said. ‘Ooh, Elizabeth did look lovely …'

‘Oi, Tilly!'

Matilda twisted about at that familiar, raucous voice and immediately her wrinkled face lifted in a delighted grin.

‘Would've recognised you anywhere. Ain't changed a bit, have yer?' Matilda boomed out, hugging her grey-haired old friend.

Jeannie Robertson gave her an old-fashioned look. ‘Yeah … you 'n' all,' she answered dryly. They both laughed. They were very different people now to those youthful, feisty women who once had fought – against and with – one another while scraping by, living as neighbours in The Bunk's heyday.