Women on the Home Front (115 page)

Grace sniffed and raised her head to look at him. ‘You've had a lot on your mind, what with your mum and so on,' she said graciously.

‘Yeah, she has been on me mind. Would you do something for me, Grace?' Chris asked hoarsely.

‘'Course …'

‘Would you go and tell me mum that I'm in hospital but I'm alright and nothing to worry about. I want her to know … just in case …'

‘You'll be home soon,' Grace reassured him softly.

‘Yeah, I know, but I want her to know what's happened. Wouldn't want her to feel left out … just in case …' He gazed at Grace earnestly. ‘Had weird dreams while I've been asleep and I was worried it meant I might not ever see her again.'

‘You will … if you want to …'

‘Weren't me in danger in me dreams, it was her. She was stuck somewhere behind the flames, and I was trying to get to her, not Sandra, but I couldn't reach her and she was just looking at me whispering it didn't matter 'cos it was what she deserved …' His voice cracked as tormenting images vividly assaulted his mind once more.

Quickly Grace renewed her fierce cuddling, comforting him through the blankets. ‘It was just a dream … s'pect the doctors gave you something to help you sleep and it made you hallucinate a bit.'

‘Yeah, but I want to see her, just in case …' he insisted and turned solemn deep brown eyes on her. ‘Can't ask me dad to go to Bexleyheath; got nobody else to ask, and I want her to know I've been in an accident but I'm alright.'

‘'Course I'll go and tell her,' Grace promised softly. ‘I'll go this afternoon.'

Chris stared at her then raised his eyes to the slowly whirring fan on the ceiling. ‘But don't say nuthin' to me dad. Can see he's worried about me and don't want to put more on him just now.'

‘Yeah … plenty of time to tell him about you and Pam, but you will have to tell him, you know.'

Chris nodded, turning his head to welcome Grace's cool soft lips as they approached his mouth for a farewell kiss. He watched as she quietly left the room with a final fond glance back at him before closing the door.

Chris gazed at the rotating blades above his bed, soothed by the soft whirring sound and feeling oddly at peace, despite knowing he had a war ahead of him with his father when he told him he was in touch with his mother, and it was staying that way for good.

‘Where are you off to in such a hurry? Have you got to get to work?' Faye had just parked her car and, having caught sight of Grace hurrying down the hospital steps, she'd quickly intercepted her.

‘I won't be going to work today; as soon as I could this morning I phoned in and told my boss what had happened and booked this week off as leave.' Grace gave Chris's aunt a breathless account and a welcoming smile. ‘Wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything anyway, not until Chris is home and we're all back to normal.'

‘I've just come along to find out how Chris is.' Faye looked eagerly at Grace, then at the hospital building behind her. ‘Is he awake?'

Grace nodded and smiled. ‘He seems in good spirits and is breathing quite easily.'

A deep sigh of relief escaped Faye. ‘In that case I won't go in till later today. I expect there's a crowd round his bed. Can I give you a lift home?'

‘I'm not going home, I'm off to …' Grace's explanation faded away. ‘Chris asked me to do something for him,' she finished lamely.

‘Oh, well, wherever you're going I'll give you a lift.' Faye approached the smart saloon at the kerb and opened the passenger door.

Grace bit her lip. She liked Faye very much and felt she was a woman anybody could trust but …

A look of enlightenment flitted over Faye's features. ‘Were you on your way to Bexleyheath?' she asked gently.

Grace had guessed that Rob had probably told his wife about Chris's search for his mother; she knew too that Rob had warned Chris to stay away from Pam if he wanted to avoid stirring up trouble.

‘It's alright,' Faye said gently. ‘If Chris wants to see his mum, that's his business. I've already told Rob how I feel on that score. I'll give you a lift. It'll save time if I take you. I've got a free afternoon.'

‘Thanks,' Grace said quietly as she got into the car.

‘I used to envy you, you know.'

Pam had come out with that while swiftly buttoning her coat. She had believed Grace's reassurances that Christopher was on the mend in hospital, but nevertheless she'd instinctively recognised her son's summons, and had insisted on being taken to see him. Grace had readily agreed to it as she'd had an inkling it was what Chris really wanted: to talk to his mother rather than have a message relayed to her.

‘We all act daft when we're young: I've got plenty to own up to …' Faye had been surprised by Pam's frankness and responded kindly to her admission of jealousy. She'd been aware that in the early days Pamela had fancied Rob rather than her own husband. But it was all a long time ago, when they were little more than teenagers, and in Faye's opinion bygones should be bygones.

‘I know now I was a fool.' A rueful smile twisted Pam's lips. ‘I always thought Robert was the one to catch out of the two brothers, being as he seemed to have everything. But Stephen had hidden strengths … just couldn't see them at the time …'

Faye understood her meaning. ‘He's been a good father,' she agreed simply then fell silent as Grace returned to the front room, having used the bathroom before they set off on the journey back to Islington.

As they trooped down the hall Grace closed her eyes and inwardly sighed. She knew Stephen would still be at the hospital when they arrived there, and trouble was bound to ensue when he clapped eyes on Pamela. But this argument was long overdue and, in a way, she welcomed getting it over and done with because it was another rut on the path to her and Chris's future together.

‘Who told you? You've no right … God's sake! What are
you
doing here?'

Stephen had angrily hissed that out while gawping in astonishment at the frail-looking woman confronting him. He wouldn't have recognised his ex-wife but for Matilda having greeted Pamela by name. A moment later his aunt had declared she was off out to the caff for a cup of tea before ambling away.

Rob and Faye exchanged a glance.

‘Right … time I was off. I promised to meet Daisy and take her shopping for new shoes.' Diplomatically Faye started after Matilda, having given her husband a significant look.

‘Better check on the lads,' Rob told his brother. ‘The sods might be shirking now there's just the two of them. And seeing as we're lucky the whole terrace didn't catch light and put 'em out of work …' He tailed off, aware that his brother wasn't even listening to him. Stephen's fierce gaze was fixed on Pamela's careworn face.

‘Anyhow, the police are expecting me to go in and give them a statement now they've got O'Connor under arrest. They've already spoken to the lads, and Chris'll be next in line for an interview, when he's well enough.' Rob smiled breezily, gave Grace a very respectful wink, then wandered in his wife's wake.

As the silence lengthened and Stephen continued glowering at his ex-wife, Grace blurted out, ‘
I
brought Pamela here.'

Stephen swung his angry gaze on his future daughter-in-law. ‘Wouldn't have said it was the right time for troublemaking, miss, being as Chris is so poorly …'

‘Chris asked me to contact his mum,' Grace replied firmly. She wasn't going to be intimidated, or made to feel guilty by dirty looks or harsh words. ‘Chris wants to see his mum, I know he does.'

‘
I
know what's best for him,' Stephen growled out through stretched lips. ‘And it ain't
her
…' He jerked a sideways nod at Pam.

‘Don't you talk to Grace like that!' Pamela stepped forward to plant her slight figure between her ex-husband and Grace. ‘I'm here to see my son and nothing you've got to say is going to make a blind bit of difference.' She levelled a steady stare at him. ‘I listened to you once telling me I wasn't fit to be near him and I believed you,' she said in a flat tone. ‘I listened to my parents too, nagging at me to keep up appearances, and keep secrets, rather than fight on to get their grandson back.' Her lips twitched at the shameful memory. ‘Terrified them, you did, with your threats to get the police on us all 'cos of what I did. My father never got over it; brought it up on his deathbed just the other year.' She tilted up her chin. ‘Now I'm listening to nobody; I'm frightened of nobody. I'm seeing my son. That's where I'm going, in there …' She pointed at the door. ‘And I'll fight you, or anybody else, who tries to stop me.' With that Pam marched past Stephen and disappeared into Chris's room.

‘Just wanted you to know, I'm sorry …'

‘What've you got to be sorry about?' Pam returned gently.

‘Went off at Christmas without saying a proper goodbye to you, or wishing you a Happy New Year. It were rude of me.'

Pam plucked his hand from the coverlet and cradled it in hers. ‘It's alright … I'd told you something that must've given you a real shock.' Her eyes glistened with penitent tears. ‘I'm the one should be saying sorry … and I am. I've been sorry for what I did to you for so long it's been a constant torment, so it's a relief to get the words out at last.'

‘Well, now we've both said sorry, that's that. All in the past,' Chris mumbled gruffly. ‘Clean slate for both of us and when I'm out of here I'll come over again and see you. Saturdays we could do something, like go shopping, or I could have a look over yer place and see what needs tidying up. Done the gate, but I expect there's other bits of work cropping up all the time.'

Pam nodded, keeping her face averted while blinking rapidly. ‘Your Grace is a good girl,' she croaked. ‘She's strong and confident. She stood up to your father just now.' Pam nodded her admiration.

‘So did you,' Chris returned with a wry chuckle. ‘I could hear you.' He frowned at their clasped fingers. ‘I should have told Dad a while ago that I'd been in touch with you. I've been a bit of a coward about it, I'm afraid …'

‘You're no coward!' Pam jumped to her son's defence, squeezing his fingers in emphasis. ‘Grace told me all about your heroics, saving that girl from the fire.' She patted his hand before letting it go. ‘Deserve a medal, you do …' She broke off as a nurse poked her head round the door.

‘Doctor's doing his rounds, not that there seems to be much wrong with you, young man.'

‘This is me mum.' Chris proudly introduced Pam with a jerk of his head.

‘Well, he's doing fine, Mrs Wild.' The young sister gave a bright smile before disappearing.

‘Better be off now; don't want to get in the doctor's way.' Pam rose from the chair, collecting her bag from the floor.

‘I'll come and see you, promise … soon as I'm home …'

‘I know you will, son,' Pam answered softly in a trembling voice replete with love and trust.

‘I don't mind travelling back to Bexleyheath with you, honest …'

‘No!' Pamela smiled at Grace. ‘It's kind of you to offer to accompany me, but I'll be fine. I don't mind a journey on my own, and I've brought enough money for the fare.'

Grace and Pamela were conversing in low voices in the hospital corridor; Stephen was sitting still and silent in a chair against the wall. His chin was dropped close to his chest and he seemed to be studying his hands. He hadn't uttered a word to a soul since Pam had entered Chris's room. Suddenly he got up; but he didn't head towards the side ward, he approached them.

‘I'll give you a lift.'

Grace and Pamela stared at him in surprise.

‘Things to say,' he muttered awkwardly. ‘Best get it off me chest … got the car outside …'

‘Thank you.' Pamela sounded calm and collected. ‘I'll take you up on your offer.'

‘Your dad's giving your mum a lift home to Bexleyheath.' Grace gave Chris a rueful smile as she settled down in the chair beside his bed.

Chris gawped at her. Suddenly a dry laugh scratched at his throat. ‘I was getting used to having two parents. Might be I won't have even one if they end up stranglin' one another …'

As Pam directed Stephen, with a pointing finger, to turn in at the top of her road she was sourly thinking that if he had things to say he was leaving it a bit late to air them. So far the journey across London had passed in silence.

‘Thanks for the lift.' Stephen had pulled up outside her house and immediately Pam reached for the door handle.

‘I won't stop Chris seeing you if that's what he wants,' Stephen blurted.

‘Good; 'cos I wasn't going to let you,' Pam returned. She met his eyes unflinchingly. ‘So that's best all round for Christopher.'

‘I know it weren't all your fault. I could've done more when he was little. I remember you being … sort of depressed, asking me fer a bit o' help just after Chris was born.' The words had spouted forth unrehearsed and Stephen rubbed a finger along the bridge of his nose, wondering whether to continue delving into hurtful memories, or whether to put the car in gear and drive off. ‘Just didn't seem to be the thing for blokes to care fer kids,' he continued, gazing through the windscreen. ‘Didn't think I'd know how to do it.' He grimaced at his fingers gripping the steering wheel. ‘Then I found out I knew alright, 'cos I didn't have a choice in it.'

‘You had a choice in it,' Pam responded bitterly. ‘You could have let me give a hand bringing Christopher up.'

‘I know,' Stephen admitted bleakly. ‘But you shocked the sense out o' me for a while with what you did. After that …'