Wishing on the Water (Water Series Book 1) (5 page)

Jax merely nodded his head and I hugged Christina as we said our goodbyes. Everything in the house was a total loss. I didn’t even bother looking back as we pulled away. I had the only thing left untouched and I would cherish this shadow box in whatever new apartment I got.

“
How are you doing sweetheart?” Jax asked as we pulled out of the neighborhood.

“
It was worse than I expected.” I stated quietly. I had expected everything they said, but seeing is believing and it was like a sucker punch to the gut. It had stolen my breath to see all our things look like that.

“
Christina is stepping out of undercover work to handle the B&E. She will find out who and why. We will help you with the insurance claim and get it all cleaned up.”

“
Why is she doing that? I thought she only worked undercover or something.” I replied, I really didn’t know much about their work except what Chase would tell me and that was very little.

“
She is sucking up to the commissioner and chief of police to transfer over to narcotics and try and become my new partner.”

Jax’s hands tightened on the wheel when he uttered the word partner. He was not ready for a new partner and to be honest I don’t think the two of them would make a good team. They would constantly be fighting.

“
What do you want Jax?”

“
I don’t want a new partner.” Jax gritted his teeth with the answer.

Seeing the house like that and hearing Jax’s pain in his words brought reality back home to me. I was feeling the loss of Chase like it was the moment I got told all over again. I thought I was doing really well, but then a wave of grief comes out of nowhere and steals what semblance of sanity you have.

I was doing my best to hide my heartbreak as well as my tears. I was a survivor and needed to stay strong. At least that is what I told myself every morning when I woke up to realize that Chase wasn’t coming home.

We arrived at Jax’s as the sun began setting and the day’s heat had started to chill. He got a message and had to run to the precinct. Jax would need to eat, and I knew I could eat something, but the left over home-cooking comfort foods were out of the question. We had been surviving off them since the funeral and frankly I wanted something different. I thought it would be a nice surprise to have dinner waiting for him when he came back.

I had called for Chinese food before I took a shower; enjoying the heat on my raw face. My eyes burned from how much I had rubbed them. My emotional hold broke the minute Jax left me alone to shower. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t heartbroken. I was; I just thought there were better ways of dealing with my broken heart than crying all the time. I turned off the shower in time to hear the doorbell. I grabbed a navy blue towel and wrapped it around me
,
hurrying for my purse.

I opened the door and was greeted by Christina. She was not what I was expecting, I ordered Chinese, not an emotional friend. I was sure to start crying again. I was a train wreck and just needed some space.

“
Can we talk?” Christina whispered without looking at me.

Phrases that began that way never ended well. I always cringed at those words.
Can we talk? Yea I hit your car. Can we talk? I killed your dog. Or my favorite one: Can we talk? I hate you.
Whatever was at the end of her sentence wouldn’t be good.

“
You’re early, but sure come in, let me grab some clothes.”

I ushered her in and had her sit on the gray couch. I ran up the stairs and grabbed Jax’s Theory of a Deadman t-shirt. I donned it quickly and grabbed my black boy shorts and slid them on. I rubbed the towel through my hair, which made the brown curls I tried hard to hide come to life.

I ran down the stairs and stopped mid step as she was on the phone crying. I stood frozen and listened to her part of the conversation.

“
I am getting ready to tell her.” Then there was a pause in the conversation. Christina got up to get a paper towel and wipe her eyes. Then she spoke again, “I think Candice can handle it.” I stepped down and the step creaked. Christina looked at me and said her farewells on the phone, then returned to her seat on the couch.

I don’t know who had upset her, but I was going to try and be the friend she would need me to be, even though I was a shattered mess.

I walked down and sat in the gray recliner that matched the couch and love-seat that lined the living room in Jax’s house. I grabbed the remote and flicked on the fireplace that was across from the couch, since the late spring air was still getting chilly at night.

“
So, Chris…. What is going on?” I asked calmly. I watched her rub her hands on her thighs. She seemed nervous, but she and I had been friends for nearly twenty years.

“
I wasn’t going to tell you……. Bu…. But I just have to tell you now. Because I love you.”

She was stuttering and refused to make eye contact. What could she have done? I waited and let her tell me when she got her words together. The impatience that I carried was something I was going to have to work on, because I wanted to shake her and ask her what it was.

“
Candice, please know I love you and would never do anything purposely to hurt you.”

I watched as tears streamed down her face. I didn’t know what to do; part of me said to go comfort her the other part said wait till I had heard it. I had lost and buried my fiancé; I was sure whatever she had done wouldn’t phase me anyway.

“
Chris, we have been friends forever. You can tell me anything. Just spit it out.”

At that time, Jax, walked in the door. He nodded as he carried his things upstairs. I waited and watched as she tried to find the words. When I heard footsteps on the stairs, I looked over to see Jax looking at me with confusion in his eyes. The disdain he felt for Christina was evident there as well. He looked as though he was studying her body language.

“
Candice, I royally screwed up and I hurt you. I am so sorry. I would take it back if I could.”

I was at a loss for what it was she did to me;
I still wanted to hear that part
. Her eyes met mine and the look on her face spoke volumes of guilt, remorse, even sorrow.
What could she have done?
I looked to Jax, who looked more lost than I was.

“
Chris, I don’t know what you think you did. If you tell me I could forgive you. I love you, Christina.”

I watched as my words coursed over her. Each one looked as though it was a dagger right to her heart.
What the hell?
Jax walked over and sat on the arm of the recliner waiting to hear this mystery that had her in tears and me ready to rip it out of her.

“
Candice, I’m pregnant.” She turned her face away from me. I was not mad or angry, I was a little shocked, but was genuinely happy for her.

“
Why would you think I would be mad?” She rubbed her hands on her pants again, and I looked over at Jax. He looked impatient waiting for whatever else was coming. He placed a hand on my shoulder, as Christina took an ultrasound out of her purse that was draped across her.

She handed me this little ultrasound, and I looked at it. How cute that she had a little baby. I began having thoughts of if it was a boy or girl. The date said she was about 16 weeks.
Well, that was when they were undercover
. I looked over at Jax wondering if he was the father. He must have known what I thought because he shook his head to tell me no.

I went to give it back to Christina; waiting for some kind of explanation as to why she was hysterically crying at this point. I would wait until she could talk to me to find out what was wrong, maybe something was wrong with the baby.
Oh, I sure hope not
. I only wanted the best for Christina.

The doorbell rang. I got up and grabbed my wallet off the bar that separated the kitchen and living room. I went to the front door and paid for the Chinese food I had ordered and walked it back over to the black marble bar top that acted as a median. I turned back around and saw Jax consoling her.
What the hell did I miss?

Jax had an anxious look on his face when I returned to my seat. I was unsettled by that; no matter what happened I was always okay with Chase and Jax. The look on his face caused me to shiver, even with the heat of the fire. Christina still wouldn’t look my way, and Jax picked up the ultrasound off the coffee table.

“
Candice….” Jax started to say something, but froze on his words. Why couldn’t anyone talk around me? Was it because they thought I would break again? I was holding my own and damn proud that I wasn’t crumbling again. Whatever it was, I could handle it.

“
Guys, come on now, it is worse the longer you wait.” I murmured, feeling like I was being left out of the group secret.

I watched in slow motion as Jax nodded to Christina, setting the ultrasound back down. He then got up with his giant six-foot body and came to stand in front of me. I peered up at him and he lifted me out of his chair. I waited as he sat back down in the chair, placing me in his lap with his hands around my waist.

I had seen him do this before. Forcing me into his lap when he thought I was ready to fight some girl in a bar for messing with them. Chase did the same thing. I gave kisses; they held people down. I made a mental note to address the aggressive way in which he adds to the bad news later.

“
Candice, I... The… We named the baby.” There was a hesitation in her voice, like maybe she was reconsidering. I reached for it on the coffee table and looked for the name. There it was in black and white.

BABY GIRL MATSON, CHELLE

Sitting in Jax’s lap did nothing for my comfort. My skin grew cold as I stared at the last name of the baby. The baby's had Chase’s last name.
What the fuck?

I looked at her, and the realization hit me. I looked at the ultrasound again and back at Christina. I wanted to attack her and tried, but a big burly man was holding me in his lap while I fought to get free.

“
What the fuck, Christina?” I screamed at her. I wiggled and fought as I tried to get loose, but Jax was too strong.

“
Let me go, Jax!” I screamed as I clawed and smacked him.

“
You we’re supposed to be my friend. Friends don’t do this to each other!” I yelled as my anger raged through me.

“
Candice please!” Christina yelled over me.

“
Fuck you!” I screamed and lunged for her again, but Jax wouldn’t let me go.

I kicked and screamed until I was tired and the fight was replaced with anguish. I watched as Jax’s muscles relaxed a moment as I fell back on him and the tears started to fall.

“
Candice, it is not what you think. We had to.” She looked me straight in my face with that comment and I wanted to spit on her.

“
What do you mean you had to?” I wanted details, but then I wanted none at all. I was angry, tired and sick all at once. Now I wanted Chase to be dead; lucky for him, he was.

“
Candice, please it’s not what you think; we were undercover. If we hadn’t, we could have been killed. The case we were working on was in trafficking. They wanted me tried out, so to speak, before making a purchase. Chase tried to get us out of it, but instead of letting them rape me, he took the challenge and saved both our lives.”

It sounded noble or whatever, but I was still sick. My dead fiancé was having a baby with my best friend. They didn’t make up drama this good on Days of our Lives. I rolled my eyes and silently made a wish on the water that was now falling from the clouds that the night would end.