William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return (12 page)

My Lord, this is the rebel who did bring

Himself to us in full surrender. He

Denieth there are others here, yet I

Believe there may be more. I do request

Permission to conduct a search of the

Surrounding area. “No stone unturn’d,”

As my dear father us’d to say. Is not

A father’s wisdom precious more than gold?

But I digress: the rebel came here arm’d

With this and this alone, a lightsaber.

[The Imperial commander hands Luke’s lightsaber to Darth Vader.

[
aside:
] O how it stirs my soul to hear him tell

The love of his good father. Now, be calm!

[
To commander:
] Thou hast fulfill’d thine office faithfully,

Commander. Leave us now, conduct thy search,

And bring this one’s companions back to me.

I’ll warrant thou shalt find them as thou think’st.

Of course, my Lord. My pleasure ’tis to see

Thy great will done. If further rebels are

Upon the moon, we shall discover them.

[Exit Imperial commander.

The Emperor hath been expecting thee.

[
aside:
] Now it begins. [
To Darth Vader:
] I know, my father.

—Ah,

Thou hast accepted what is true.

—I have

Accepted thou wert once call’d Anakin

Skywalker, and as such, my father wert,

And art, and whate’er come to pass, shall be.

That “Anakin” is meaningless to me.

The name hath neither relevance nor worth.

My life is chang’d, and I with it, fore’er.

’Tis but the name of thy true self, which thou

Hast but forgotten. Furthermore, I know

That there is good within thee yet, for thy

Great Emperor cannot have driven it

From thee entirely. That is wherefore thou

Couldst not destroy me when we met at first,

And wherefore thou wilt not deliver me

A pris’ner to thine Emperor.

[
aside:
]    —Almost

I know not what to say, so shall I turn

The conversation unto matters that

Are simple to discuss, with no confusion.

[
To Luke:
] I see thou hast constructed for thyself

A lightsaber. Thy skills are now complete,

Except I see its beam is green, much like

Thine innocent opinion of my fate.

But still thou hast become quite powerful,

Just as the Emperor himself foresaw.

If green doth mark me as a man naïve,

I’ll claim the color proudly. Come with me—

My father, turn toward the good, and live!

Old Obi-Wan once thought as thou dost think.

Thou canst not understand the power of

The dark side: I shall be obedient

Unto my master—aye, I must, and will.

I shall not turn toward the dark, and thou

Shalt verily be forc’d to kill me then.

[
aside:
] Confusion, be thou gone. ’Tis madness, this!

[
To Luke:
] If that shall be thy destiny, so be’t.

O, search thy feelings, father. Thou canst not

Do this to me. I feel the conflict rise

Within thee. Let thy hatred go, be free!

It is too late for me, my son. I shall

Deliver thee unto the Emperor.

’Tis he who shall reveal to thee the true

And pow’rful nature of the Force. He is

Thy master now, and thou shalt serve him well.

Then may I say these words with confidence:

My father who once liv’d is truly dead.

[Exeunt Luke Skywalker with stormtroopers guarding.

O what a rogue and peasant Sith am I.

This turmoil in my spirit doth not suit

A dark and vicious warlord like myself.

My son a rebel—fickle-minded Fate

That e’er would be so cruel to have me see’t!

And not a simple rebel, nay, but he

A hero, noble, brave, and true, a lad

Whose character befits his parentage.

Were he within the Empire’s ranks employ’d,

I would be proud to govern by his side.

A worthy lad is he, of virtues full,

A Jedi Knight and pow’rful in the Force,

A brave, courageous, cunning warrior,

A shadow of my former, noble self.

Yet if he will not turn he’ll be destroy’d.

O shall it be? The strands of Fate do seem

To wind themselves about my neck as if

To strangle me and drag me down into

The measureless, uncharted depths of my

Beloved Emperor’s most perfect will.

Thus shall I drown within the dark side’s pull:

A murky grave to bury Vader’s soul.

The rudder of my conscience runs not straight,

Thus am I tow’d along toward my Fate.

[Exit.

The entrance to the bunker where the Death

Star’s shield controllèd is lies just beyond

That landing platform there. To get inside,

Without revealing our intent shall not

Be easy.

—Fear thou not. Chewbacca and

Myself have enter’d places that were far

More heavily protected than this one.

The tales I could relate—another time.

Na nubba nubba,

Weeva nubba,

Nozza wayza,

Yubba yubba.

N’ketcha ketcha,

Yuzza betcha,

Yuzza surra,

Netcha, netcha.

Suki, suki,

Nahgoh luki,

Nahyoo siya,

Ch’buki uki.

I prithee, 3PO, what doth he say?

’Tis news that shall delight, good Princess, for

It renders our assault yet easier.

A secret entrance may be found along

The other side of this great ridge.

—’Tis well.

So let us hence and find this hidden way.

[The group of rebels and Ewoks walks to a new location.

[
aside:
] What circumstance unlikely doth befall—

A group of hardy rebels makes its way

Unto a battle with the Empire vile.

Such enterprise of pith and moment, yet

Here are we by these furry creatures led.

What unexpected allies! Aye, what strange

But needed friends these noble scamps may prove.

There is a saying back on Alderaan—

Or rather, should I say, there us’d to be

For now no sayings there are heard at all—

“There should for no one greater welcome be

Than one who is an unexpected guest.”

So do we welcome these small ones unto

Our great and just Rebellion, these who are

Both meek and full of childlike eagerness.

Yet even as these words escape my lips,

Another thought unfolds itself to me:

It is not we who welcome them; I err.

For ’tis their moon, their home, their dwelling place.

’Tis surely they who kindly welcome us,

’Tis truly they to whom our thanks are due,

’Tis certain they are far more brave than we,

’Tis verily their home for which they fight.

But still thy tongue, the bunker now is near.

[
to Paploo:
] Thou hast a back door found, thy hairiness?

’Tis well: from furry mouths come good ideas.

[
to Wicket:
] Ba’chua ba’chua,

Megoh ga’chua,

Megoh gennem,

Fa’chua, fa’chua.

[
to Leia:
] There are not many guards nearby; to gain

The upper hand should not prove difficult.

And yet it needeth merely one to sound

A loud alarm that brings the fleet entire.

Forsooth, then quietlike our moves shall be.

[
to C-3PO:
] N’unka unka,

Paploo flunka,

Heeza gennem,

Bunka, bunka.

O my! Good Princess Leia, I do fear

Our small befurr’d companion hath set on

An errand rash.

—Auugh!

[All watch as Paploo approaches the scouts.

—Fie! The little beast

Doth make his way unto a certain death.

Belike these guards shall blast him into bits.

And further: our surprise attack is gone.

We may not have another chance as this.

[Paploo suddenly boards a speeder
bike and flies off into the distance.

Alack! That beast hath ta’en the speeder bike!

We shall not let the imp steal from us so!

Let us fly hence and after him!

—Away!

[Imperial Scouts 1, 2, and 3 mount their bikes and chase Paploo.

A clever ruse for one who is no more

Than a mere lump of matted fur. He hath

Succeeded in his plan, for now behold:

Just one is left. [
To C-3PO:
] Remain here and await

Our swift return.

—Though I am but a droid,

My will is yet my own. I shall decide

What course to take, and have decided it

Shall better be if R2 and myself

Remain here.

—Well consider’d, goldenrod.

Now let us go, my friends, and make our way

Unto the bunker. Guard, what ho?

—Thou knave,

What treachery is this?

[Imperial Scout 4 runs after Han Solo but soon is surrounded by rebels.

—Such treachery

As shall an Empire conquer. Now, avaunt,

Thou scurvy servant of the Empire’s spite!

[The rebels subdue Imperial Scout 4.

Good friends and rebels all, are you prepar’d?

The moment is upon us, even now:

We shall the bunker enter sans delay,

And what we’ll find therein we do not know.

Belike some danger grave doth wait inside,

Mayhap far worse than ever we imagine.

Be ready—eyes alert and open wide!

[Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, and rebels enter the bunker. Several Imperial troops are inside, surprised by the rebels’ entrance.

Pray, mark me well, else all of you shall die:

Move quickly to the side, and let us in.

[Imperial troops move away, surrounded by rebels.

Go, brave Chewbacca, guard these wayward souls.