Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? (43 page)

‘Dan, I…well, I honestly thought that you’d barely notice I’d even gone.’

‘Don’t, love, don’t make me feel worse than I already do. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for driving you away the way I did, I’m still beating myself up over it. Then I’d hear your voice on the phone and you’d sound ten years younger, so happy, so fulfilled and that kept me going for a long, long time. But then when Jules got back and when I heard that this Jack git was so clearly intent on having a full-blown, serious relationship with you…I snapped. Couldn’t take it. Annie, I’ve been a mess ever
since Jules got back. Couldn’t concentrate on work, couldn’t sleep, completely useless. I kept thinking, what have I done? What tortured me most of all was that I was the architect of all this, that I’d brought the whole thing on myself. By working so hard all the time, by neglecting you, by not treating you the way you deserved, when you’d given up so much for me. I was in the depths of depression and then all last week when you weren’t answering your phone I started to panic and assume the worst. That you were with this guy and didn’t want to take my calls. So I called the theatre and they told me you’d taken a week off. With him, I could only presume. My mind was in a pulp, eaten up with the idea of you gone off with someone else, so that’s when I just drove to Shannon airport and waited on standby for the first flight they could put me on to New York. I had to wait till today to get a seat, but I didn’t care. My plan was to camp outside your apartment till I heard from your own lips if you’d chosen this guy over me. If I’d really lost you.’

I’m stunned into silence while he says all of this, completely speechless.

‘Have I, Annie?’ he says, turning back to me and taking my hands into his huge bear-like grip. ‘Have I lost you?’

‘No,’ I sob, but through tears of relief and happiness and joy this time. ‘No, no, of course, not. How could you have?’

There’s so much more I want to say, but the words get stuck in my throat. I want to tell him that we’re soul mates, that he and I are something that cannot be split apart, no matter how hard either of us tried to…

He moves closer and gently brushes the tears from my cheek with his finger, then pulls me towards him.

And next thing, he’s kissing me like the years have just
fallen away and we’re back to being two love-struck teenagers all over again.

We’re both so rag-tired, heavy-lidded with exhaustion and yet still have so much to talk about, that I’d have gladly stayed snuggled up with Dan on my couch for the whole afternoon. Holding each other, rediscovering each other, reconnecting right back to the way we were a long, long, time ago.

But suddenly the vision of Liz lying in that hospital bed comes hurdling into my thoughts. And so I fill Dan in on the details, telling him that we’re all beside ourselves and just how precarious her condition is.

‘I should call the hospital, love,’ I tell him and he agrees, gently easing himself out of my arms and reaching over to the coffee table to where the landline is, then passing it back to me. ‘Good idea,’ he murmurs softly. ‘Her family must be here by now, so maybe there’s something we can do to help them.’

I smile lovingly up at him. Vintage Dan, he’s just found his wife again and is already wondering what we can do to help total strangers. Sure enough, when I call the hospital, Liz’s dad has just arrived, but there’s no change in her. None at all. I thank the registrar and hang up and next thing, Dan’s right beside me again, cradling me against him and holding me tight.

‘Shhh, don’t be upset, love, they’re doing all they can for her. And remember miracles happen every day. Hey, look, one just happened to me, didn’t it?’

I brush my hand up against his stubbly, rough, exhausted face, thinking God Almighty, he looks like a Johnny Cash song. Then we snuggle up on the sofa together, clinging onto each other like our lives depended on it.

We stay like that for a long, long time and I think I must have dozed off for a bit, because next thing I know I’m groggily coming round, still locked in Dan’s arms.

‘Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,’ he murmurs.

‘Oh my God,’ I smile weakly, ‘you weren’t a dream, you’re really here.’

‘Really here and never leaving your side again unless you order me away.’

Then he slowly turns his head down to me, cups my head in his hands and leans in to kiss me. A soft, lingering kiss at first but then gradually becoming deeper and more intense till next thing he’s slid his hand down my shirt and is slowly unbuttoning it. I let him, bending down to kiss his hand as he does, loving how warm his touch is against my skin, and never wanting this moment to end. Then I reach up to pull his jumper over his head and he undresses fast, not letting me go, stopping to kiss me all the time.

Two minutes later, we’re both naked on the sofa, his huge, deeply tanned, rock hard body clinging to mine as he rolls over me tantalisingly, licking my earlobes, kissing my neck, breasts, everywhere, like an explorer expertly mapping out my skin with his tongue.

Then, as we make love like we haven’t done in the longest, longest time, I realise just how much I’d completely forgotten about him. I’d blanked out his taut, toned body, the musky smell of him, the sheer hulking size of him and how tiny and safe I always feel in his arms, how intense and urgent and passionate a lover he is.

How did I forget all this? How could I have?

Afterwards, we lie side by side on the sofa together for a long, long time, stretched out in easy silence.

‘I love you,’ he keeps telling me over and over again, the
black eyes regaining some of their old twinkle. ‘Always have, always will.’

‘I love you too. Even when I didn’t like you, I still loved you.’

And he laughs and it occurs to me, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Dan really laugh, I’d actually forgotten what his teeth looked like.

Funny but I spent so much time these past few weeks wanting to go home.

But with Dan beside me, his head on my chest, his arms locked tightly around me, I suddenly realise.

I
am
home.

Later on in the afternoon I take Dan to the hospital to keep vigil on Liz. Where there’s no change. Her father is still here and my heart goes out to him when I see his pale, shattered face, his whole body bent double with exhaustion. Dan encourages him to go back to Liz’s apartment to try and sleep, but he refuses to budge.

‘Well, then at least come downstairs and have something to eat,’ says Dan kindly.

He agrees to be led down to the canteen by Dan, but stops halfway out the door to thank me and the others too for watching over Liz round the clock.

‘Over here, we’re like her family too,’ is all I can say.

I stay behind and read out yet more gossipy magazine stuff to Liz, hoping, praying that on some level she can hear me. Then I realise that what’s been happening of late in my own life might just be of more interest to her than news about Lady Gaga’s meat dress, so I tell her everything.

Bring her up to speed on absolutely everything. About
my dinner date with Jack and how I couldn’t get out of The Plaza fast enough, about how I’d thought Dan was with someone else, while the whole time he was thinking the very same thing about me. So he hopped on a flight over and now here we both are. Figuring out things.

‘But you know something, Liz? This time, I think that he and I might be OK.’

I look down at her, so tiny and thin in the hospital bed, with drips coming out of what looks like every vein on her arm and think…
be OK too, Liz. You’ve got too much to live for to go now. Just open your eyes, that’s all we’re asking…such a little thing to ask for.

I’ve introduced Dan to the whole gang now and it’s like every time he’s out of the hospital room, either Chris, Alex or Blythe feels the need to tell me exactly what they think about him, no details spared.

‘Such a good looking man, love!’ says Blythe. ‘And a real gentle giant too. Far more suitable for you than…well, we needn’t say any more on that subject, need we? Do you know I went to St Patrick’s Cathedral yesterday to pray to St Jude for poor little Liz and I lit a candle for you too that the right thing would happen for you in…well, let’s just say in your romantic life. And look how well that turned out for you? But then that’s St Jude for you. He never lets me down. Patron saint of hopeless cases, you know.’

Much later in the afternoon, I’m outside in the hospital corridor at a vending machine, watching milky tea shoot into a plastic cup when Dan comes rushing up to me, his huge hands gripping me urgently by the shoulders.

‘Annie, love, come quick. You need to see this.’

I abandon the tea and race back to the ICU with him,
where everyone else is gathered around her bed – her father, Blythe, Chris, Alex. The whole gang’s here.

Dan and I stand together at the back of the room, and I can feel his warm hand slipping around mine. I glance up at him and he gives me a look that says,
it’s OK. She’s going to be OK.

‘Liz?’ her dad says to her gently, ‘Liz, can you hear me. You opened your eyes just a minute ago, do you think you could do it again? Try, Liz, please try. Try for me.’

And that’s when it happens. Slowly, barely perceptibly, her eyelids start to flutter and I physically gasp. Then she sees us, all of us, gathered around her, watching her with a combination of terror and relief and happiness.

There’s no mistake. Liz is awake. For sure. Gradually, she takes each one of us in, then manages to mouth a weak
thank you.

‘You see?’ says Blythe triumphantly. ‘I told you. St Jude has never once let me down. Ever.’

Chapter Twenty-One

I’m almost late for the show, barely shaving the half-hour call, but for once I don’t care. Because not only has a miracle happened to Liz today but Dan is here, beside me. Where he belongs

So he and I grab a taxi to the theatre together and we’re still clinging to each other in the back seat, as he softly kisses my neck, ears, cheeks, running his hands through my hair every chance he gets. ‘You know, back at your apartment earlier was amazing,’ Dan whispers. ‘Best afternoon I’ve had in I don’t know how long. Why haven’t you and I been having sex more often? We’re bloody good at it!’

I grin up at him, still euphoric about Liz being OK and only now that all the worry over her has been eliminated, allowing myself to sink deep into happiness about Dan…and next thing we’re kissing again, his mouth firm and insistent on mine.

‘Honeymooners, huh?’ says the taxi driver from the front seat, clocking the pair of us in his rear-view mirror.

‘In a way, yes,’ I say and Dan smiles that crooked smile that I love so much.

‘Actually,’ he leans forward to proudly tell the driver, arms
tightly wrapped around me, ‘would you believe that we’ve been together ever since we were fifteen years old?’

The driver whistles, duly impressed.

‘Well congratulations to you both. Wish my wife and I were as loved up as you guys after all that time. Some achievement, huh?’

We just look at each other and smile.

For love to strike once, I think, is easy. Especially when you’re only fifteen. For it to strike twice with the same person is nothing short of a miracle.

Then right outside the theatre box office, he suddenly grabs me and leans down to kiss me all over again, then slowly moves down to nibble at my neck, tickling me. Getting more and more intense all time and it’s only wonderful.

‘Sweetheart?’ he murmurs softly in my ear. ‘Love of my life? Heart of my heart?’

‘Shut up talking and kiss me some more.’

‘Oh I fully intend to, but first tell me, do you really have to go to work? Can’t we just go back to bed and continue making up for lost time?’

I break off to smile up at him and realise that the black eyes are twinkling down at me like they haven’t done in the longest time.

‘Ehhh…let me just get this straight.
You
are the one ticking
me
off for having to work?’ I laugh, teasing him.

‘I know, love, I know I’ve been a nightmare to live with. But if you’ll just give me one more chance, I can tell you that things are going to be very different from now on…far more sex in the afternoon I think, for starters…’

‘Mmmmmmm…
very
good idea…’

Then he breaks off to kiss me properly again and I’m on tip-toe now, my arms locked tight around him, when next thing I hear a familiar voice from behind.

‘Annie Cole, don’t tell me you’re picking up strange men off the streets now?’

It’s Hayley, Queen of the Box Office, almost unrecognisable in a hoodie and on her way into work. Like I should be.

‘This isn’t a strange man,’ I beam at her, eyes shining brightly. ‘Hayley, I’d like you to meet my husband.’

‘Oh my Lord, you must be the famous Dan!’ she exclaims, her face lighting up in instant recognition. ‘Ohhh, I’m so glad you two are working everything out! You know for a minute there, I thought you guys were in trouble.’

Dan stays for a full two weeks and now, with the worry of Liz gone, I don’t feel guilty about the deep joy I’m feeling any more. Liz, by the way, is doing exceptionally well; she’s back at the Eleanor Young clinic having treatment, sticking with the programme this time and every Monday, without fail, the rest of us troop up to Albany to visit her. She’s still weak as a kitten but is slowly gaining weight and as Dr Goldman says, recovery is a long process and she’ll need just to take things one day at a time. But so far so good…

Meanwhile it’s like Dan and I are on a second honeymoon. Having spent so long apart, and I’m not just talking about since I came to New York either, now it’s as though we can’t bear to be as much as three inches away from each other. No matter where we go, in restaurants, clubs or bars, we’re like some mythological two-headed, four-legged beast,
constantly wrapped around each other, touching each other, snatching kisses every chance we get.

It reminds me of days of old – we’ve barely left each other’s side and it’s only magical. We’re completely back to that relaxed easiness, that level of familiarity where we can practically hear thoughts dropping into each other’s heads. Together we’re revisiting all the landmarks we saw here before and instead of feeling a pang of nostalgia, now all I can think of is our future and what lies ahead. And I’m not frightened any more. Not now. With Dan beside me, how could I be?