Wicked (20 page)

learned the hard way, her first year on the streets, that letting people too

close was a good way to get hurt. Emotions hurt.

Emotions other than pleasure that is.

Lara knew that's why she loved sex so much; it was the only time she really

let herself go, the only time she really let herself feel. It was a safe outlet for

her because she only took lovers who would want no-strings sex.

Karl was supposed to be that way. Graham thought his lectures about Karl

going through women or not wanting a girlfriend would stop her, but really, it

had only encouraged her. And she was thankful, because the sex with Karl

was
good.

Hell, it was better than any she'd ever had.

Now it was more than that. She actually enjoyed spending time with him.

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Sasha White

Talking to him, joking with him…being with him. When was the last time

she'd enjoyed another person's company so much? Not just a man, but

anyone?

It's what happened after the sex that really got to her. He was strong and

dominant, and yet, oh so gentle and caring. She didn't have any defenses

against that gentleness. It crawled into her system, and made her want

more.

She didn't even know what more was! She knew nothing about

relationships—she hadn't even had a relationship with her own parents.

"For fuck sake,"
the little voice in her head said.
"Just ask him. He wanted
you to think about it…so ask him!"

So out of bed she went. She grabbed her iBook off the kitchen table and

hustled back to bed. It was late, and he wouldn't get the email until morning

at the earliest, but she had to get her thoughts out, or she'd never get any

rest.

Good Morning, Karl.

I've been lying in my bed tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep, but I can't.

I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about you and the things you said

tonight.

You said we'd keep in touch this week and I should take some time to think

about it all, but I need answers now. You've also always said I could ask you

anything.

So, here goes anything.

Just what exactly do you want from me? I've been on my own for a long time,

and I like it that way. I like my space and my independence. I'm not going to

try and deny that I also like what you do to my body, but I also have to admit

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that the intensity of this…thing between us sort of freaks me out a bit.

You're right though. It's not just the sex. It's everything you make me feel, so

my question is…if I decide that maybe I do want to work on this, that maybe

taking it beyond strictly sexual is something I want to try, how do we do that?

I know you're going to say "Trust You". Isn't that what all submissives are
supposed to do…trust their Dom? But it's not as easy as that. Not for me. I

need to know what you have in mind. This is all new to me—not just the

Dominant/submissive thing, but any sort of a relationship that is beyond

casual.

So, now that I've made a complete idiot of myself by admitting I'm almost

twenty-seven years old and never had a real relationship of any kind…I'm

going to say good night and hit send before I chicken out.

Lara

She closed her eyes, hit send, and then clapped her hands over her

face. "Oh God, what am I getting myself into?"

Sucking in a deep breath, she blew it out slowly, and her pounding heart

calmed. Before panic could get ahold of her, she closed her computer down

and shut out the light.

It was done.

Sure it was easier to spill her guts in an email than in person, but now she

had to wait for a reply.

Waiting was not one of her strong suits.

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27

I
don't know why you keep that crappy job anyway," Graham said as he

set the steaming teapot in the middle of their table.

Lara heaved a sigh and reached out to pour herself another cup. "It's a good

job, regular hours, regular paycheck. Security is important to me."

She'd woken up early, unable to sleep, and had heard his footsteps above

her head. Figuring misery loved company, she went upstairs for breakfast

before work. Breakfast being tea and toast.

"Yes," Graham said with a smirk. "But your paycheck isn't exactly big. You can't even live on what you make, let alone pay a three hundred dollar ticket,

and you work thirty-five hours a week!"

"I've got the money, it just sucks completely because I
did
stop. That bitch needs glasses." She'd just finished telling him about how she'd gotten pulled

over by a lady cop the day before…for rolling through a red light on a right

turn.

"Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to say that to her," she grimaced at Peter.

"Smart." He nodded his approval.

"The point isn't that you got a ticket, or even that the company won't cover it,"

Graham continued. "The point is that you have a ticket to pay. What right

does the company have to fine you? In fact, I should ask Mr. Dawson. I bet

it's illegal for them to fine you for getting a ticket."

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Her eyebrows snapped down so fast she gave herself a headache. "Don't.

You. Dare."

"What? He
is
a lawyer, you know?"

"Try the innocent look on someone who doesn't know you, Graham. My

getting a speeding ticket is none of Karl's business. I'm still pissed at you for

telling him about the tires. If you ever want me to speak to you again, you'll

keep your mouth zipped."

Graham arched a brow at Peter. "She's pretty adamant, isn't she?"

"Very. I wonder why?"

Maybe because two days later my ass is still tender?
"Because things with Karl are complicated right now, that's all."

"Ohhh. Details, details, please." Graham rubbed his hands together.

"Graham," Peter growled. "Take it easy on her."

Graham stared at Peter and the temperature in the kitchen dropped a few

degrees. "Why?"

"It's okay, Peter," she said before the two could get into an argument. "It's not a big deal. Things are just moving fast, and maybe getting more serious than

I want. It's not a big deal."

But Graham had heard the one word she should've left out. "
Maybe
getting more serious than you want? What's with the maybe, sweetheart? You've

always been the ultimate Alpha Loner Chick, is that changing? Have you

maybe
met your Alpha Man?"

She rolled her eyes and tried to shrug him off. "Don't be so dramatic. We like

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each other, we have good chemistry, and who knows…maybe it's time I

gave having a steady man in my life a try."

The complete silence in the room was unnerving. Lara licked her thumb and

used it to pick up the crumbs from her toast that had fallen on the table.

"I think that's great, Lara. You deserve to have someone who'll look after

you." Graham smiled softly and she relaxed.

That sounded good. She didn't even feel the need to state that she didn't

need someone to look after her.

* * *

A
nd you said he wouldn't pay."

Karl could swear he saw a canary feather flutter to the floor from Lisa

Pollock's lips. The woman definitely had the look of a cat with a full belly.

They'd had an early negotiation meeting with Brad Pollock and his lawyer,

and while his client had what she wanted, he couldn't shake the ugly feeling

in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm glad you're happy, Lisa," he said as he opened her car door for her. "Will you tell me how you got those photos now?"

"Why are you so interested in that?" she asked.

He forced a smile. "I need good investigators myself sometimes. To get

photos like that, yours must be very good."

She nodded, her gaze unreadable behind her sunglasses. "I'll call you with

the name when Brad's first check shows up."

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She got into the car and he closed the door behind her, waving her off. It

wasn't his responsibility to find out who took the pictures, but he couldn't help

but try. No one deserved to be photographed in a vulnerable position, in a

place where they'd been assured safety and anonymity. He'd do what he

could, but he had no doubt Mason Hardin would get to the bottom of it no

matter what. That man's polished exterior definitely hid something

dangerous.

Karl went back into the parking garage and climbed into his truck. The trip

back to his office was quick, and Karl's mind was four steps ahead of him the

minute he stepped into his office.

He pulled a folder from his briefcase and handed it to Graham. "Get those

filed as quick as possible, and close out Lisa Pollock's account. When's my

next appointment?"

"Fifteen minutes," Graham traded files with him. "Janet Redding, a potential new client."

"Another woman," he muttered. "Why do I only get the female clients?"

Graham sat back in his chair and ran his eyes up and down Karl's body in an

exaggerated perusal. "Gee, I don't know, Mr. Dawson."

"Stop eating me up with your eyes or I'm telling your boyfriend," Karl smirked and headed for his office. "And stop staring at my ass."

It was unprofessional of him to say something like that to his assistant, but

the way Graham's jaw had dropped had been worth it. Besides, he was a

friend of Lara's, so there was some leeway.

He tossed his briefcase down, booted up his computer, and headed for the

coffee pot. Coffee, he needed coffee. He'd been in a rush that morning,

distracted by thoughts of how he could've been waking up with Lara, and

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hadn't had any coffee yet.

It was much needed to keep his head from exploding.

He poured a cup, took a scalding swallow, and opened his email program.

Lara's name was at the top of the inbox, and he froze. Was she backing out

already? The way his morning had gone, his sassy sub would probably try to

run.

Setting his coffee down he clicked on her name and started reading. His

mouth went dry and his palms started to sweat. She wasn't running. She

wasn't jumping in with both feet…but she wasn't running!

He read the email and then reread it. Then reread it again, with so many

possible responses at the tip of his fingertips when he hit reply. He wanted to

answer everything, he wanted to answer the question she hadn't asked yet,

but he knew would follow. He couldn't scare her away though. She was right

on the edge and he had to be careful. He did not want to fuck it up.

With a deep breath, he started typing.

Of course you can always ask me anything. And if you need answers now, I'll

give them to you.

Let's start with what I want from you. What I want is just what I said. I want

you to realize that what we have is more than sex. I want you to accept it and

work with me toward building this into a real relationship.

You're very brave to tell me that you're a little freaked out, and I appreciate it.

To know how you are feeling, what you are thinking, is what I need. Now I

want you to realize something…you are already giving this a chance, simply

by asking these questions and talking to me.

Welcome to our relationship, Lara.

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28

L
ara's first urge when she got home from work on Thursday was to

open up her computer and see if Karl had answered her email. But her brain

wouldn't let her. Instead she headed upstairs to chat with Peter before

Graham got home, but she took her phone with her, just in case he called

instead of emailing.

"Knock knock," she called out when she didn't see Peter in the kitchen or

living room. "Is it a bad time?"

"Perfect timing, actually." Peter came out of the second bedroom, his

"office," scrubbing his fingers through his hair. "If I don't get away from the computer, I'm going to put my fist through the screen any minute now."

"Writer's block?"

He shook his head. "Stubborn characters. I need a drink."

He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and they sat at the kitchen

table. "What's up, Lara?"

She took her time getting comfortable, twisting off the beer bottle cap, and

putting her feet up on the chair across from her. "What makes you think

something's up? I can't just come say hi?"

He stared at her.

"Fine. I want to see how you and Graham are doing."

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Peter cocked his head to the side, his eyes laughing. "We're doing fine. How

are you and Karl?"

She grimaced. Her and Karl. Like they were already a couple in people's

minds. "That's not fair. You and Graham have been together since I've

known you. I care if you guys are having trouble."

"I care if you're having trouble with Karl."

Was she having trouble with Karl? Or was she just having trouble with the

idea of anyone getting close? Shit, that sort of self-analysis was what she

was trying to avoid at the moment.