Whose Bride Is She Anyway (17 page)

Tara came up behind Ms. Mary who was in the opposite chair, waiting for her turn. Her knitting needles clacked furiously. “What happened?” she whispered to Mary.

“She has a rash. ”

“What? What kind of a rash? ”

“I dunno, but it’s pretty ugly and red, wouldn’t you agree?”

On closer inspection, Tara noted the angry red blotches over Kelsey’s cheekbones and forehead.

Oh, yuk.

Oooh, this wasn’t pretty. “Did she have an allergic reaction to something? ”

Mary shr ugged her shoulders and yawned. “She must have eaten something that didn’t agree with her.”

Tara really should take a look at it. She was a chemist. She had some limited knowledge about allergic reactions due to her perfume making, what types of chemicals caused them, but her focus hadn’t been on medicine, so it was fuzzy at best.

And then again, she was no doctor. They had one on the set. It was just a rash, for heaven’s sake.

Guilt overruled her satisfaction over how truly awful Kelsey looked. Sighing in exasperation, Tara tapped Kelsey on the shoulder. “Let me take a look, Kelsey. Maybe I can help.”

Kelsey sneered at her, “I don’t think so,
Tina
. What could an idiot on a jury do to help
this?
” She pointed at her face.

Tina?
Well, well… Kelsey really might not know who she was. Damn her selfabsorbed, cellulite-riddled ass!

Tara laid her hand on Kelsey’s shoulder and gripped it tightly, swinging her makeup chair around to face her. “I’m not just a juror, I’m a chemist. You know, Kelsey, like ‘I don’t just play a juror on TV’?”

Tara heard Ms. Mary snicker over her shoulder and she turned, shooting her a warning look to pipe down. Mary stuck her tongue out at her in rebellion and crossed her eyes.

Kelsey shoved Tara out of the way. “Get away from me! I don’t want anyone to touch me, especially some stupid jury member!”

Kelsey began shoving her way past the makeup people and out of the trailer, yelling obscenities the entire way. Tara struggled to maintain her composure and not burst into gales of laughter. Whatever brought that rash on it was God-awful. Bet those men wouldn’t be drooling all over the scabs on her face.

God, Kelsey was such a bitch, she deserved a rash. She had men lining up for her and she couldn’t even appreciate the fact that a bunch of hunks were vying for her. Nothing was ever enough for Kelsey.

“Hey, Ella?” Tara called to the back of the head makeup artist who was on her way out the trailer door and shaking her head. “Are you okay? ”

“Oh, sure, but thanks for asking. You don’t think Kelsey is the first diva we’ve had on this show, do you? Girls like her are a dime a dozen. They think the world should only continue to rotate if they give us the head’s up.”

She gave Ella a sympathetic smile. No one knew better the affect a tirade of Kelsey’s could have on a soul better than Tara. “If you only knew how well I understand that, Ella. Maybe you can go and take a nap in a hammock under the nearest palm tree.”

Ella gave her a wave over her shoulder. “I think I just might. See ya later.”

“You know, Tara my girl, ” Mary said. “You’re a patient lady. I’d have slapped that bitch Kelsey senseless if I were you. ”

Well, it wasn’t like she didn’t want to … but it wouldn’t be proper jury foreman etiquette, now would it? She had to continue to appear sympathetic to Kelsey. “It’s okay, Mary. She’s cranky is all. Who wouldn’t be with that mess all over their face? And between you and me, you’re right,” Tara whispered, “she is a bitch sometimes, but I’m going to chalk it up to the stressful environment. C’mon, let’s go ogle men. ” Offering Ms. Mary her arm, Tara helped her down the steps of the makeup trailer and off to the pool.

As a result of Kelsey’s mishap, shooting was delayed for two hours. Two hours she and August could have spent with one another, she pondered as she settled into a lounge chair by the pool. Diana and Andy were huddled in a corner, having a rather intense conversation about deodorant jingles. Gianni opted to take his leave and make a monitored phone call home. Walter was at the beach body surfing and Ms. Mary snored softly beside her, napping.

Tara smoothed suntan lotion over her arms and tried to relax, wondering what August was doing right now. Kelsey’s rash was going to take a couple of days to heal, but the producers decided to forge ahead anyway. Time was of the essence and they could shoot around Kelsey. She was off now, getting some kind of cream to ease the itching.

Tara picked at her plate of fruit and cheese absently when Henry Abernathy came buzzing by. “Hey Tara, have you seen August?”

Why would Henry ask
her
that? Did he know? Oh, crap. And why was he looking for August? Tara tugged at her bikini and faked a yawn of indifference. “No, I haven’t. We’ve just been hanging out here while Kelsey gets her rash cleared up. I mean, the
jurors
and I have been hanging around the pool. ” Absolutely no contestants. None.
See Henry? I would never touch a contestant
. Tara squirmed under Henry’s gaze.

Henry smirked. “I think it may be awhile longer before Kelsey can shoot. The rash seems to be spreading.”

Tara gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry to hear that. Please tell Kelsey I hope she feels better soon. ”

Henry wiggled his fingers at her and said, “Will do. Gotta go find August.”

Tara sat back in her chair and breathed again.

August, August, August
… Tara shivered. He was so incredibly sexy in a rough, brash way. She fought a war of excitement and fear in her head. He harped on her for reminding him that they were inviting trouble, but that was nothing short of the truth. Lawsuits and litigation flashed before her closed eyes.

Your Honor, I just couldn’t help myself. He’s just so … sexy. It isn’t often a girl meets a guy who can do things to her body that no man has done before. Would you deny me the rapture of orgasmic bliss just because we were playing a stupid game on national television?

Somehow, she doubted that that particular argument would go over well. Yet, at moments she didn’t give a hoot. She was having the sexual enlightenment of the millennium. It pissed her off that Kelsey was even remo tely keeping her from enjoying it to the degree one should enjoy a good boinking. Kelsey seemed to haunt her wherever she went, even if she didn’t know that she was doing it this time.

But Kelsey knew what she was doing her senior year…

Yes, she’d known what she was doing and she’d made a laughingstock out of Tara. August
must
remember that. The entire school laughed for days over it. Damn, she should have brought her yearbook with her, then she could read up on August.

“Tara?” George the cameraman called her from across the pool. “You’re due for an ‘Impressions Session’.” He tapped his watch impatiently.

Glancing at her watch, she realized that she was due for her ‘Impressions Session’. Tara gave George the thumbs up. “I’ll be right there, George.”

As foreman of the jury, she would sit in a sequestered room and give the overall “impressions” the jury was getting on Kelsey and the contestants to a camera. The videotape would be aired later in the competition, keeping the viewing audience apprised of which contestant was in the lead and who was on their way out. Each contestant made one too. She wondered when August would do his, or if he already had.

It probably wouldn’t be good if she shared her newly found feelings about August. She could just picture their reaction when she told them she thought he was hot and she knew that for a fact because she’d sampled his wares
. Just trying to be sure he’s fit for Kelsey’s consumption, fellow jurors.

Um, that wouldn’t be a good idea.

Tara sighed and rose to go meet the staff member who would take her to the videotape booth, shading Ms. Mary with the umbrella on her way.

Passing the contestants pool, she caught sight of August, off to the right, sitting with Aaron. Her heart skipped a beat at his red bathing suit. Their eyes met when he looked up and he gave her a quick wink.

Fighting off the thrill that shot up her spine, she continued on to the tiki bar, where she was whisked away for her taping.

Settling into the booth, Tara scanned the list of questions as she prepared to turn the video recorder on. How do you feel about your role in choosing a husband for Kelsey Little? Who do you think the jury finds best suited to her? Which contestant is your personal favorite? Who do you think Kelsey likes so far?

Kelsey, Kelsey Kelsey …
yark.

The small room was soundproof and darkly paneled. A small stool was provided for her to sit on, facing the camera. Tara smoothed her hair and sat up straight, clicking the recorder on.

“Um, well, let’s see. I feel very confident that the jury will come to a satisfactory choice for Kelsey. Although, I have to admit, it’s pretty scary when you’re choosing a husband for someone. I mean, I haven’t even chosen one for myself and now I’m responsible for someone else’s. It certainly has its pressures. I mean, how can you ever be sure of your own feelings, let alone someone else’s? Marriage is a big step and if we don’t make the right choice, then Kelsey will join the statistics of divorce and I’d hate to see that happen. Divorce is ugly and…”

Tara caught herself mid-babble and reminded herself to shut up already.
Less is more.

Tara cracked her knuckles and continued. “We like
all
of the contestants, it’s not a matter of like or dislike. It’s the matter of who’s best suited to Kelsey. For right now, we’ve focused our attention on narrowing the field of contestants.”

Very general … better, much better.

What was the next question? Tara looked back down at the paper.

Which contestant is your personal favorite?
“Well, I’m trying to remain neutral, but, if I’m honest I’d have to say I like Vinny. He’s funny in a … a quirky sort of way. ”

Scratching oneself in unseemly places in public is quirky? Or was it the way he drinks from a straw in his nose? She was lying again…

No, really, Tara thought—he’d be perfect for Kelsey. He could help her scratch her rash.

“Oh, and I think Kelsey likes him too.” Tara winked at the camera. “I saw her at the bar with him and they were laughing over something.”

Okay, so Kelsey wasn’t really laughing
with
Vinny, Tara recalled. Kelsey had her mouth open because she couldn’t believe he could drink from a straw in his nose. It was shock, not laughter.

Same damn difference.

Impressions Session officially over.

Besides she had a competition to judge. Save The Damsel In Distress, if she remembered correctly from her schedule. That certainly had to involve something physically required by the contestants from the sounds of it .Hopefully, Kelsey’s rash would survive it. Hopefully, August would do what he said he intended to do and
lose
.

My Hero

A
ugust was tired. After a night with Tara, all he wanted to do was go back to the hut and climb in bed with her. So did his nether friend.

He definitely didn’t want to play, “Save the Damsel in Distress”, but it seemed Kelsey’s rash was on a quicker mend than the crew had anticipated.

What a sport, that Kelsey.

Again, with the luck of a blue-haired lady loose in Atlantic City with a cupful of quarters, August’s name was chosen at random to compete for another date with Kelsey. Five of the eight remaining contestants had to complete a series of obstacles and save Kelsey from the castle.

The contestant with the best time after crossing the moat of mud wins.

Yippee Skippee.

As of now, the time to beat would be Aaron’s, who’d hauled Kelsey over the finish line with apparent ease.

The jury members sat in a row on the lush green lawn at the end of the obstacle course overlooking the ocean. August’s eyes scanned the course. It seemed simple enough. Jump a hurdle or ten, swing across some vile smelly stuff, climb a wall, swim the length of a pool, get Kelsey from the fake Styrofoam rock and drag her ass through the moat to the finish line.

If he took his time, he could easily let someone else win. Then he’d be free to spend the evening with Tara, who was sitting, pretty as a picture, at the end of this stupid He-man event.

“Hey, August,” Aaron called to him as he jogged over to where August was standing.

“Hey Aaron, nice time you made there.” August slapped him on the back.

Aaron smiled, looking as refreshed as if he’d just stepped out of the shower and certainly not like he’d just lugged Kelsey’s butt over the finish line. “Well, yeah. I ran track all through high school. I’m not normally one to brag, but I’d dare
anyone t
o beat my time,” Aaron said smugly.

Oh, really … a dare, you say? Was that cocky August heard in Aaron’s tone? August cracked his knuckles. “Well, I didn’t run track in high school, but I was a late bloomer.”

Aaron smiled with an odd look on his face. “Cool, dude. Good luck.”

Are you saying I need luck, dude?
August sucked his gut in and slapped his belly as his competitive streak flared. He could run faster than a stupid kid who came to a reality show to find a bride to “hang ten” with him.

Watch this, Bruce Jenner…

August lunged, stretching his legs and absently thought about the jury. He hoped Tara was watching. August resigned himself to the coming rant his guilt was going to plague him with.

Okay, it was time to give it up, it was supposed to be Kelsey he hoped was watching, not Tara. August knew that, but his conscience wouldn’t quit reminding him of it—it was fast approaching a rather sore point. He’d already decided he was going to forfeit this round of competition no matter what, because he didn’t want to go out with Kelsey and so he could go on boinking the fabulous Tara.

And the hell with this damn show.

Well, thank God he’d gotten that straightened out.

August rolled his shoulders and took his place at the starting line. The time to beat was “beach boy’s.” Aaron was quick and spry. If he paced himself, he could come in a couple of seconds off and walk away the
real
victor.

Preston Weichert blew the whistle and August was off and running.

August easily cleared the first ten hurdles, without breaking a sweat. All of the jury members were whistling and yelling his name but Tara. Well, what the hell was that about? She sure thought Vinny was all that and a bag of chips when he’d swung over that pile of gunk. August pumped his legs harder, straining his muscles to out-perform Vinny.

He grabbed the rope, nearly losing his grip and swung in a wide sweep over the slime. When his feet touched the ground, he slipped in some of it, but regained his footing and charged toward the wall.

Up and over.

Easy cheesy, Japanesie.

Diving gracefully into the pool in a smooth arc of flesh and a fearsome desire to strut his stuff, he pounded the water. Clearing the pool and popping out the other side with a quick jump.

The roar of the jury fed the flames of victory for August. He could taste it on his tongue, hear it in his head. He forgot all about losing as he charged toward Kelsey, perched high atop a fake rock, squishing all the way.

August ran over the rough terrain in his soggy sneakers as though it were nothing more than a walk in the park.

When he reached Kelsey, she smiled broadly. “I knew you could do it!”

August ignored her and the red crap all over her face. Grabbing her around her waist, he threw her over his shoulder and began to make his way back down the slope of rock.

He grunted as she slapped against his back. Jesus H. she was heavy. Sweat began to drip from his brow as the hot sun made pretty, brightly flecked rays of light appear before his eyes. He gripped her tighter, just below the knees, running for all he was worth. Kelsey yelped as she bounced violently, but he could barely hear her for the roar of competitive muses screaming in his ear.

August, August, August!

Diving into the mud moat, he almost forgot Kelsey was on his back, but for the pounding, she was doing with her hands against his ass and the sag in his now aching shoulder. He schlepped his way through the thick mud, half-dragging, half pulling her big butt, digging his fingers into her flesh to keep from losing his grip on her before he made it to the finish line.

Just a fe w more feet and he would greet victory with a rebel yell. Every muscle in his body screamed its protest as he tripped and stumbled through the last leg of the race.

He victoriously threw Kelsey over his shoulder with a howl of agony and dropped her just over the chalk line finish. The jury went wild, clapping and chanting his name. Everyone but Tara, who he could just make out through the clumps of mud in his eyes. She clapped politely and sat back down in her chair, tight lipped.

Kelsey lay on the ground, mud spattered and red faced. Her blonde hair streaked

with dirt, lying limply around her face. “Four-point-two!” someone yelled from the crowd. Huh?
Four-point-two?
Yep, that was his time, now who was the real Bruce Jenner? He’d

beaten Aaron by two tenths of a second.

August hobbled over to the grassy area by the jury and sank to the ground, letting his head hang between his legs and remembered what he’d won as a result of his amazing physical display.

Please, not
another
date.

Well, he was a real Superman, now wasn’t he? So much like Superman, he’d won the contest for the date with Kelsey. Crap. He should have thought of that before he went screaming through this contest like George of the Jungle.

August groaned long and loud. It was the geek in him, always trying to prove he was

superior. It made him competitive and ornery and determined to win at all costs. Oh, he won all right. Aaron was smacking him on the back to confirm it. It must have been the confusion on his face that prompted Aaron to ask, “Know what

the prize is tonight, champ? A dinner date with the lovely Kelsey, poolside.” August gasped for breath, “Tonight?” “Yep.”

Hell.

* * *

August straightened his tie as he crossed the path leading toward the pool. Soft, twinkling lights glowed in the trees and lanterns were scattered on the tables surrounding the pool.

He guessed the table with the red tablecloth and candles was the place to be. What a production for a little pineapple and booze. A bottle of champagne sat in an ice bucket with two fluted glasses nearby. He hated champagne.

The camera crew sat around drinking coffee, awaiting Kelsey’s arrival.

“Hey, guys. How’s it going? ”

“Nice job today, August. That was the best time I’ve seen yet,” Gary, the soundman commented. He couldn’t help a smug smile. “Thanks.” And look what he’d ended up with for all of his efforts
. You Olympiad, you.
Chairs shuffled as Kelsey fluttered to the table in a black dress and heels. And the camera crew readied themselves. George barked orders in an unusually short tone to the rest of the crew set to tape the date.

Hookay, let’s get the show on the road so I can get the hell out of here
was all August was thinking. A piece of pineapple, some booze to wash it down with, and he was gone.

“August, don’t you look handsome?” Kelsey said as she made her way directly for

him. August accepted her embrace, giving her a quick peck somewhere around her ear. “Do you like my dress?” Her breasts pressed against his chest. August pushed her back at arms length, hoping to avoid too much contact with her.

“It’s very nice.” Could you catch whatever that gunk was on her face? August felt the

cold chill of a shudder zip up his spine over the very prospect of it.

Kelsey smiled sweetly. “Thank you. ” She wasn’t letting go.

“Why don’t we sit down? ” August untangled himself and pulled out a chair for her.

“Oooh, champagne. I love champagne, don’t you? ”

A beer would be far more satisfying. “I’m not much of a drinker.”

“Pour some and we’ll have a toast.”

August dutifully sloshed some of the champagne in the glasses and handed Kelsey one.

She raised hers and did the sultry, seductive thing with her eyes. “To us and tonight.”

Yeah, yeah. Whatever
. “To tonight,” he agreed. There will be
no
us. The sound system designed especially for the pool was playing something slow and romantic.

“Oh, music! C’mon August, let’s dance.” Kelsey held out her hand to him.

“Um, I’m not much of a dancer.” He whispered low, hoping the cameras wouldn’t catch it.

“I’ll show you how. C’mon, ” she coaxed.

August took her hand reluc tantly and she clung to it, pulling him flush to her. “There, see it’s easy. ” Her hips fashioned themselves to his and she draped her arms around his neck. “Oh, August,” she whispered in his ear, “Is that a pencil in your pocket, or are you happy to see me ?”

August’s hand went immediately to his pocket. Nope, not a pencil… A pen. “It’s a pen, ” he answered honestly.

Kelsey let her head fall back on her shoulders. “I think you’re just teasing me,” she giggled at him. Her laughter tinkled in the air, grating on his nerves. “You were really great out there today, August. You fought hard for me.”

Not on purpose.
“I’ve always liked a good competition. ”

“Especially when the prize is me?”

“Yeah…”

Kelsey pulled his face down to hers. “So, I guess you’re ready to kiss me then? ”

Christ, were we back to the kissing thing again? She was like a dog with a bone. August sneezed in her face—her perfume was killing him. It clung to his nostrils and invaded his sinuses like Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn. She didn’t smell nearly as good as Tara. “Sorry, did I spray you? ” He wiped his nose with the palm of his hand. “I think we should still wait on the kiss. This is
only
our second date…”

Kelsey huffed at him, “How many dates to we have to have before you kiss me, August?”

There aren’t enough in this
lifetime.
Especially not with that crap on her face. “Why is it so important to kiss me, anyway? ” August wondered aloud.

Kelsey was clinging to him as she swayed with the music, ignoring his question. Her eyes had that dreamy look about them that made August cringe.

“Hold me tighter,” she encouraged, wrapping his arms around her waist.

As she tightened her hold on him, he looked more closely at her face. Man that looked like shit, all red and scaly. “So did you find out what caused …
that
?”

“What?”

“That crap on your face.”

Kelsey frowned. “A rash, I ate something I was allergic to, or at least that’s what the doctor said. Forget the rash and dance with me.”

It was kind of hard to focus on much else, those big angry welts looked like they might pop at any second and ooze something really gross. He shivered in distaste. Kelsey must have thought this meant he was all turned on, because the next thing he knew her tongue was in his mouth and she was dragging him around the pool.

Okay, date stops here.
August tweaked her waist and she yelped, losing her footing.

It happened in slow motion, all at once and without warning.

Kelsey stumbled, her feet flying out from under her as the heel on her shoe broke. Rather than clinging to his neck, she let go with a scream, startling him, making him let go of her as she fell backwards into the pool with a mighty impressive splash. If they’d been doing cannon balls or something, she’d have scored a ten.

August stood stunned by the edge of the water, while Kelsey sputtered her way to the surface. Her hair was plastered to her head and her dress floated in a big black pool around her. One lone shoe floated past her.

One of the crewmembers yelled, “Stop … stahhhhppp…” he gasped for breath, “roll—iiing.” The “ing” in roll came out with a long squeak as he choked with hilarity. The camera man had to lay his camera down because he was having a screaming fit of laughter. His high-pitched giggle broke August’s composure. He started to laugh too, then he howled while he reached blindly for a chair to hold him up. He had to stop laughing because his stomach hurt.

“Dammit, could someone help me here?” Kelsey screeched from the pool, pounding her fists on the water’s surface.

August held out his hand and yanked her out with a tug as the makeup people came running with a bathrobe and towels.

He jammed his hands in his pocket and rocked back on his heels, staying in the background while everyone fussed over the sopping wet Kelsey.

Now was the time to make haste. He walked over to Kelsey’s chair where she sat shivering. That was just a little dramatic it was freakin’ ninety degrees. “I’m sorry, Kelsey. I hope you feel better soon. You’d better go back to your room and rest up and have them take care of that … that stuff on your face. G’night.”

He moved like lightning, away from the pool and back to his hut. It was only eight-thirty, so Tara would still be up. His heart did that stupid girlie thing in his chest over seeing her.