Who We Are (23 page)

“Desire, please make some fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy for tonight. Please make enough for up to six people as we may have guests tonight. Also, please be sure to bake a nice pie or cake for dessert. Have dinner ready for precisely at six o’clock. I may be home in time to help you finish up.”

Again, she looked back and forth between Desire and Johnny. “Try to get as much done as you can today. With only one week left before the Celebration, we have much to do. I suspect that next week there will not be much time for you two to do much more. Take advantage of the next day or two to finalize everything otherwise your plans may not go the way you would like them to.”

Was there something in the way Mama said this that sounded almost sinister? Desire had to get a grip before her paranoia got the better of her.

Chapter Eighteen

She walked away from the workshop and headed toward the “church”. Church. She scoffed to herself. It wasn’t really a church. It was a treatment centre used to brainwash the entire community. The memories of the services and meetings were just that: Memories. They were not events that ever took place in reality. It was all a façade. Everything was.

What was real, however, were her feelings, and they scared the shit out of her. She never imagined that her heart was capable of the emotions it was now torn with. As she approached the centre of town, she sat down on a bench to rest her legs and her mind. Her thoughts were going haywire in her head.

She looked down at her shaking hands. They had shaken all morning, Since Desire asked about her favourite childhood memory. She knew Desire had noticed. Though she had tried to present herself as calm and authoritative, she knew that Desire was very smart, very perceptive and didn’t miss much.

What also frightened her to her core was the upcoming Celebration of the New Year. Going through the motions of preparing for this fabricated celebration was almost more than she could take. She reached into her pocket and retrieved an anti-anxiety pill and slipped it under her tongue. She let the tiny pill dissolve and she soon felt a wave of calm wash over her. She took a few deep breaths, then stood up and headed over to the community hall.

Sometimes late at night she wondered if this life was any better than her life on the street. That was where they found her and promised her paradise.

Chapter Nineteen

Aedan took Darby by the hand and led her into the workshop. Much to her surprise it was as empty as it was the last time she was here. Aedan motioned for her to stay put as he walked around and turned off all the machinery he had turned on. All the noise they heard outside was merely the machines running in order to make it appear as though his fictitious father was hard at work and not to be disturbed. She wondered how he knew to do this. As if reading her mind, Aedan responded.

“I was watching from the second floor and saw you and your mother approaching. Knowing how proper your mother is, I assumed she would want to thank my father in person so I ran downstairs and turned on some of these machines.”

“That was very smart, Aedan.”

“I guess so, but sometimes I worry that all the different stories and lies in my head will get mixed up and I will get us both killed. It’s getting so complicated.”

He came over to her and embraced her. Being in her arms felt so good. He held her extra-long and tight. She took a moment to inhale his sweet scent then looked up into his face. She saw anxiety and sadness. “Aedan, are you worried?”

“Not here. Come on. Let’s go inside.”

He led her through the secret panel door and into the secret room where they had eaten their lunch the other day when she had learned the truth. She hoped to get more answers today.

Aedan took the picnic basket from her and set it on the little table. He then took her hand and they walked over to the couch and sat down. They sat side by side and she rested her head on his arm. She closed her eyes for a moment and imagined they were a million miles away in a world that wasn’t so confusing. Then she saw a little face appear in her mind’s eye. She wanted to know if Patrick was real or if he was a dream. In her soul, she knew he was real because of the feelings that were stirred inside of her when she remembered him.

“Aedan, I think a memory came back to me yesterday.”

He sat up straighter when he heard that and turned to face her directly. “What did you remember?” He looked anxious and hopeful.

“I remembered my brother, Patrick. I had a dream about him. He couldn’t have been more than two or three years old. He was still in a crib. I dreamed it was Christmas morning and I had fallen asleep on the couch trying to catch Santa. Patrick woke me, calling out for me. I remember now how he used to call out to me in his crib. He always called for me when he woke up and not my Mammy or Daddy. He was so sweet with his chubby cheeks and precious red curls on his head. He called me
Bee Bee
because he couldn’t pronounce Darby. If my memory is accurate, I don’t think he ever stopped calling me that.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she told Aedan about her memory. If just one memory could evoke such emotion, would she be able to handle it when they all came flooding back? What if they didn’t all come flooding back? What if that was it?

Aedan let out a huge sigh. He had tears in his eyes too, but he was smiling. “Darby, I couldn’t be happier because I think that means that you can regain your true memory and identity. You are right: Patrick is your little brother and he worshipped you from the moment he was born. He is probably devastated and lost without you.”

The thought of Patrick distressed flooded her with a whole spectrum of emotions. She felt sad because she felt her connection with her brother Patrick in her heart and she missed him. She also felt angry for the life, although most of it still a mystery, that was taken away from her and feared that she may never have again; that she may never be who she once was. Lastly, she felt confused because right now she wasn’t entirely sure who it she once was. Aedan hugged her tightly. He remembered the moment he felt overwhelmed with the reality of this situation and he remembered longing for someone who loved him. There really weren’t any words that could provide comfort because the reality was that their situation was grim, at best.

Aedan broke the hug and looked Darby straight in the face. “Darby, I need you to tell me right now whether you trust me and are willing to take some risks for us to escape. Some odd things might happen over the next week, but I need you to remember one thing: Everything I ask you to do or not do is in your and my best interest.”

Though Darby felt emotionally fatigued over all the events of the past week, her determination was never stronger. Her connection with Aedan and her memory of Patrick stirred something in her. The memories she had in Hemac had always seemed emotionless; she never knew any better. Now that she had experienced these intense emotions in response to being near Aedan and remembering her brother, it was clear to hear that this world was not real and who she was today was not who she truly was.

“Aedan, I will admit I feel scared, but I am not scared of trying to escape. Not at all.”

“Darby, you must be strong. I can’t guarantee how your memory will continue to come back or if it will, at all. It seems like your memories are coming back in your dreams, but there is no way of guaranteeing that they won’t start flooding back while you are awake. And if it happens in public, it is extremely important for you to control your responses to these memories. For me, it was like a dam busting loose. At first, a memory or two would trickle through a little crack in my mind. Eventually, the trickles seemed to create pressure and my entire memory came flooding back to me. Fortunately for me, it occurred here in my home. At first, I thought I was going mad, but what you said just now about how you felt was the same for me. Any memory of life in Hemac seemed more like a script in my brain while the new memories had powerful emotions attached to them.”

He paused for a moment and looked at Darby. He felt nervous about telling her too much all at once because he couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t be overwhelmed or able to reconcile all she felt. But he had faith in her. The Darby he knew was strong-willed, confident and determined. He felt sure that these traits deep inside of her would help her cope with all this mess. He knew it was her true nature that got her into mischief here at Hemac. She was definitely not a young woman who would be tamed by anyone. She was a free and independent spirit and that was what he loved most about her.

“Our biggest obstacle lies in what we don’t know, and that is a lot. We seem to be in a vacuum here. To be honest, I can’t even be sure we are still in the United States. If we are, I am positive we are in a southern state, simply because we haven’t had any snow as far as I can remember and according to my calculations we have been here about two years.”

Darby closed her eyes when he mentioned snow. She pictured herself with Aedan running up a steep snowy slope with toboggans in one hand and Patrick in between them holding both her and Aedan’s hands. When they reached the peak, they huddled onto the toboggan with Patrick snug in her lap and pushed off for a gleeful ride down the big hill. Their cheeks were rosy from the cold wintry air. They all laughed wildly when they finally slid to a halt at the bottom of the hill. Patrick was five years old at the time and was bundled up so snugly in a snow suit, mitts, hat and scarf that he could barely walk. She turned her head and saw her parents waiting on the side. They held up thermoses of hot chocolate and waved. The three of them trudged over to have a nice hot drink before tackling the hill a few more times. They were determined to keep it up until their legs would no longer take them up the big hill. Afterwards, they would all head back home to sit in front of the fire, drink more hot chocolate and roast some marshmallows.

Darby opened her eyes and looked at Aedan. “I am ready to do whatever we need to do to get our life back.”

“Darby, did you just remember something?”

“Yes I did, but its okay. The memories give me strength and hope. I have no doubt I can handle whatever comes our way.”

Aedan sat back and took a deep breath. He let out a huge sigh. He looked at Darby thoughtfully for a moment. He felt that the time was right to tell her more. He could see his Darby finally breaking through.

“Darby, it is time for me to share more with you. It will be shocking and scary, but there is no way to soften the truth.”

“I am ready, Aedan, Please tell me the truth”

“Okay. The first thing scares me the most. Although I have figured out that we are in some strange sort of experiment, and have documented a lot about the community and what goes on here, I have no idea who is behind this. As I said, I am not even sure we are in the United States. That scares me. I am certain we can escape through the forest, but if we make it through, where that will lead us is a total mystery. We have no identification and no money. And given that we must escape unnoticed, we have limited opportunity to bring necessities or supplies with us. I have been working on that though. I got some canvas from the staple store under the guise of fashioning an awning for the back porch. If you could help me, we could use this to fashion some bags that we can put some supplies in. I think we need a bottle each for water, a blanket and our notebooks. We will need food too, but we are limited to what we can carry and what will last without spoiling. I have been curing beef into jerky. This is light so we can carry quite a bit. I have also been slowly collecting bags of nuts from the staple store a little at a time. We will need a few other items, but let me worry about that. Do you think you could make us bags, Darby?”

She looked up at him, “Of course I can, but we better start now. Mama is expecting a lot of help from me next week so our time together will be limited. Johnny, I think we need to bring evidence with us as well. We need to bring back proof of what was going on here. I am going to get a little bottle and fill it with a few of every different pill, powder and medicinal tea we have in my home.”

“That is a good idea, Darby. There is a lot more to discuss, but we have to get our bags done first. I have no idea how big this forest is, but I am working on mapping out an escape route at night. But let’s get working on our bags because we don’t want to perish for lack of supplies.” Aedan went upstairs for a few moments. When he returned, he had a large piece of canvas, scissors and thick thread. He laid them all on the table and Darby got up and went to him.

“Now Darby, be sure to make my bag a little bigger because I can carry more than you. This canvas is fairly thick but I think you should line it to make it stronger. I made sure that it was waterproof so be sure to sew it in a manner that will protect our supplies if it rains.”

Darby unfolded the material and saw that she had plenty to work with. She and Aedan discussed the shape and size of each bag and she set about cutting out a rough pattern. While she did this, Aedan sat back down on the couch. When she turned to look back at him a few minutes later he was sound asleep. Her heart went out to him. He had been through so much.