Who We Are (10 page)

              “Oh please, oh please, oh please,” she begged.

He applied a little more pressure with his fingers and the entire forest exploded around her. The wildflowers danced in the air around her and the trees seemed to close in. She shook in his arms though he held her tight. He continued to hold her as she recovered from her moment of

pure and unadulterated pleasure. When the afterglow set in, she collapsed in his arms. She had never felt so satiated, safe and loved in all of her life. Everything felt good inside of his embrace. He just held her, caressed her hair and rubbed her back. They didn’t say anything, as no words were necessary.

              After what felt like an eternity in his arms, he gently held her at arm’s length and looked her straight in the eyes.

“Desire, I love you. I love you more than you can imagine. No matter what happens, I want you to understand that I love you more than anyone here and I will always protect you from harm.” He drew her closer and she relaxed against him without a care in the world. His embrace felt so familiar. She started to doze off in his arms when he gave her a little shake.

              “Desire, wake up Desire. It’s getting late. If you do not return home before your parents do, they will be worried, or even worse, suspicious. Either one could lead to trouble for you.”

              She looked up at him with loving eyes and raised her lips to give him a kiss.

“Johnny, I am not sure what is going on, but I feel like you are who I am meant to be with. Do I have to leave you?”

              “Yes Desire, you do. Do not fear, my love. Soon we will be together forever.”

He got up and buttoned and smoothed his shirt. He extended a hand to help her up. He gingerly wrapped her bosom and dressed her. He gently put each of her shoes on and tied the laces as she sat on the fresh forest grass. Then he took her face into his hands once again and kissed her. The kiss was long and soft. She didn’t want to ever let go of him during that kiss. He gently pulled away, “Go now, but know that I am always watching and always ready to protect you.”

             
What would I need protection from?

              He escorted her back behind the bushes where she had hidden her vegetable basket. Now they were out of the forest, they could not touch or kiss. She picked up the basket and looked back at him. He placed his hand on his heart and blew her a kiss. She blew one back to him and then, sadly, headed home.

              After she was out of sight, he walked back over to the creek,  picking a wild rose on the way. They grew sporadically throughout the forest Johnny sat down on a rock looked down at the flower, seeing that one of the thorns had cut the inside of his hand and he was bleeding a little bit. As he licked the blood away, he couldn’t help but see the irony. His Desire was like that wild rose. She was so beautiful and unique and yet there were thorns surrounding her and he couldn’t quite get to her without the risk of being cut. Her naivety to the reality of their world was the biggest thorn of all. He desperately wanted to grab her and run, but he knew that if he did so without a good plan to avoid the thorns, there would—like the rose—be bloodshed. He feared he was losing her to Them for good. He tried his best to keep a watch on her without causing a stir; that was not easy. He had not quite figured out how to re-introduce the Truth into her life without causing irreparable damage that may ultimately wipe the memory of their love from her mind for good.

              Feeling her body so close to him caused a flood of emotion in him. It was all he could do to play along and treat these emotions as new and innocent. Feeling her soft flesh against his and her sweet lips hungry for his was almost unbearable, so hungry was he for her. The intimacy of the moment awakened a beast inside of him. He felt more determined than ever to free them both from this prison -world they lived in. He wanted to accelerate his plan, but he had to take great care. He knew the risks of pushing her mind. A psychological collision of Then and Now could be devastating for her and he was not willing to take that chance.

              There was some relief in knowing that Desire felt a strong connection to him. He felt optimistic was and took this as a sign that she was not past the point of no return.

              He got up off the rock, tossed the rose into the creek, and watched it flow gently away from. He prayed that Desire would not float away from him.

Chapter Eight

              Desire rushed home radiating with pleasure. Her encounter with Johnny had generated so many feelings inside of her. When she wrapped herself around him, it felt as though she melted into his body and soul. The way her body responded to him was all new and yet it didn’t feel wrong. There was a familiar feeling of comfort in his arms. She felt no shame or sin; rather, a gnawing feeling that she belonged with him. She had to resist the urge to turn and run back to him.

              She didn’t feel nervous about getting caught and punished. Normally, the mixture of adrenaline and fear following any disobedience would create a state of near panic in anticipation of being caught. But this time was different. Her instincts told her that what had just happened was meant to be.

              She knew she had about a half hour before her parents would return home so she quickly peeled and chopped some potatoes, and shelled some peas. She started cooking these on the stove. She chopped green lettuce, fresh tomato and cucumber for a salad.  She retrieved the butchered chicken from the ice box that Mama had started soaking in brine since the day before so Desire just needed to drain the liquid and place them in a roasting pan. She added chopped onions and sprinkled fresh sage to the pan and placed it in the oven to roast. Then she raced around the kitchen making her father’s favourite dessert. He had a weakness for chocolate and loved her own special recipe for Mud Cake. She made it extra chocolaty and dense by adding chocolate pudding sauce to the middle. She mixed and whipped the ingredients with ferocity. She wiped little beads of sweat from her brow as she set the last place at the dinner table and heard voices at the front door.

              “Desire! You will never guess who we saw on our way home from church just now!” Her father’s voice had always been loud, but seemed even more so now.

              Desire turned around and couldn’t have been more shocked if God himself strolled in beside her Papa. But it was not God, it was Johnny. Her father had his hand on the back of Johnny’s neck and looked his daughter squarely in the eyes. Desire looked away from her father to steal a glance at Johnny, who grinned widely at her.

              Her heart sank.
Oh no. No, no. no. What a fool I’ve been. He’s just tricked me.

             
Overcome with panic, fear and feelings of betrayal, the room around her darkened. Desire fainted.

              Papa and Johnny rushed over to her while Mama ran to get smelling salts from the cabinet. She held them under her daughter’s nose.

              “Wake up, darling. Please wake up.” Her father shook her gently, attempting to rouse her. After a few moments her eyelids started to flutter and she slowly regained consciousness. She looked around the room in a stupor.

              “Desire, what is the matter? Are you not feeling well?”

“I… I don’t know,” she stammered.

“Let’s get you into a chair.”

Papa scooped his daughter’s head off the floor to help her sit upright, while Johnny took her hands and gently coaxed her to her feet. They guided her to the dining chair at the head of the table, the one with the armrests. She sat back in the chair and waited, not knowing what to say, who to look at, or who to trust.

“Now, what I wanted to speak with you about, Desire, is that we ran into Johnny walking along the road.”

Oh no. Here it comes. He knows. Papa knows! I will have to repent in front of the town again, and Johnny… What will Papa do to Johnny?!

Desire grasped the handles of the armrests.

“He was coming home from church and Mama had told me how helpful he was to you the other day. I thought we would show our thanks to Johnny by inviting him over for our Sunday dinner, but if you’re not feeling well, perhaps we should think about doing this another time.”

              She took a moment to process what he said.

“No Papa. I’m fine. Really!”

She realized now what was going on and felt so relieved. Relived that Papa did not know what had happened in the forest today, and relieved that Johnny had not betrayed her. She continued, trying not to sound overly anxious.

“It’s just that it is so very hot in the kitchen and I did not have any water to drink today and nobody signed up for my committee and I guess I was just a little overwhelmed with everything that happened. I’m sorry, Papa.” She glanced up at Papa who looked sincerely concerned, and convinced.

              “I wanted to surprise you with your favourite dessert and then…” She pleaded with her eyes. Papa patted her shoulder. “Now, now. This is no way to act in front of our special guest. You take a glass of lemonade upstairs and freshen up. Rest a few minutes while Mama finishes up in the kitchen here. By the time dinner is ready, I am sure you will feel much better. In the meantime, Johnny and I will get acquainted on the front porch.”

              She looked at her parents and then at Johnny standing behind them. He ever so slightly shook his head and winked at her. Fully realizing that he did not betray her, she felt the all the anxiety and fear dissolve inside of her and it quickly replaced with embarrassment and bliss. She could hardly believe Johnny was here with her now. She felt her cheeks flush as she spoke to him.

              “Good afternoon, Johnny. Please excuse all of this. I suppose I am just exhausted from this very long day. I am certain I will feel better after a little rest. I am very happy that you will be joining us for dinner.”

              He smiled at her and said, “There is no apology necessary, Desire. I am grateful for the honour of being invited to your home for your Sunday meal.” His eyes said everything she needed to know. They told her everything was okay and their secret was safe.

              With that, her Papa took Johnny out to the front porch with a bottle of beer for each of them. If she didn’t feel so overwhelmed, she would find the whole situation comical. Here she had thought that they had been caught or that Johnny had betrayed her. In the seconds before she passed out, her mind had raced with countless of punishments she and Johnny would have to face in front of the community. And here they all were. No one was the wiser.

              She headed upstairs and went directly into the bathroom. The water she splashed on her face felt cold and refreshing. It helped to calm her nerves down a little. She patted her face dry then looked into the mirror. She seemed a little red in the face still so she splashed her face a few more times with the cold water.

              She went to her bed and lay down atop her quilt. She tried not to think about the afternoon with Johnny but she couldn’t put it out of her mind. Closing her eyes, she replayed her encounter with him. The memory was so vivid in her mind she could almost feel his lips on hers and his hands exploring her body. Just thinking about this caused a reaction in her body and she started to feel what was becoming a familiar tingling and aching within her. Her reaction to him was even more surprising. Although she was still confused about the whole situation, in the moment, it all seemed so natural. When he held her, it was like the world around them melted away and only they existed.

             
Okay, enough. I must compose myself before dinner. I can dream about Johnny tonight!

              She sat up and drank some of her lemonade. As she did so, she remembered the little wooden figure that Johnny had made.

It must still be in the pocket of my church skirt.

Desire opened her closet and searched her new outfit. Sure enough, inside one of the pockets, she found the little carved women with red hair. It was about the size of one of her fingers, but a little wider. She brought it over to her desk and sat down. As she looked at it, she noticed it had tiny little green dots for eyes and little red lips. The hair was flaming red. It had a plain skirt and blouse. As she looked a little closer, she realized that the wooden figure was actually two pieces: a top and a bottom. She twisted it a little bit and separated the two pieces. The inside was hollow and she saw a little piece of paper rolled up and tucked inside. She removed it and just as she started to unroll it, she heard her Mama call for her.

“Desire, please finish getting ready and come down. I would like some help to serve the plates.”

              Desire quickly stuffed the figure into her pocket and put the little rolled-up note into the pocket of her china’s dolls apron. She ran downstairs, confident she could be calm and collected despite wanting to tear off her clothes and jump into Johnny’s arms!

              Dinner was very proper. They began with a blessing of the meal to thank God. The chatter over the main course was light and friendly. Papa had a lot of questions about the skill of carpentry and the level of mastery Johnny had obtained. Johnny was polite and friendly with Papa and the two remained engaged in conversation for most of the meal.