White Wind (17 page)

That one memory alone could turn her face red with rage. It strengthened her hatred, kept her fury at a boiling point, for she’d not forgotten the humiliation at the hands of the white girl.

Laughter and sneers greeted her each day from her own people when they reminded her of the girl’s cunning. Even her father and brother were shamed by her, for her actions that day had reflected on them as well. Red Fox had publicly shamed her by giving her most prized possessions to the poorer members of the village.

Now she was the laughingstock of the village. “Only an old man would take you to his tipi now,” they chanted and laughed until she stormed away in anger and shame. It was all the white girl’s fault.

She’d show them. She would become wife to Golden Eagle, the great warrior. Then she’d make all their lives miserable.

Night Star watched Sarah leave her tipi and join Bright Blossom. Her lips curled in disgust as the white girl took the baby from his cradle board and rocked him in her arms.

Her lips twisted in a nasty sneer. Did the white whore think to bear Golden Eagle a son? To be a treasured wife? All knew she couldn’t hold the mighty eagle. She was just a convenience until his marriage. A thought came to mind. The entire village knew, but did the white girl know of his marriage plans?

Her eyes gleamed in anticipation. She would gladly take it upon herself to see that the whore was informed of her true position. Laughing silently, she headed back to her tipi.

Sarah sat among the circle of young women in the shade not far from the village. The noon meal was over and most of the children sat or napped quietly nearby.

Bright Blossom’s toddler lay asleep beside her, his belly round and full after going from one tipi to another sampling the meals being served.

“He sleeps. See his belly. He will grow to be big and strong warrior one day,” Bright Blossom commented as she returned to the group, taking her place next to her son.

Sarah found the Indian way of raising children fascinating and practical. There was no yelling or rough handling of any child. Starting at a young age, mothers crooned instructional lullabies which included lessons on morals and bravery. Later came stories, lectures on responsibilities and practical day-to-day learning.

A child discovered that consequences resulted from actions. He was asked to help but never told he must. If a youngster refused, reason replaced discipline. There was such pride in being chosen to assist, the young ones sometimes argued over who would do what.

And if a child broke the rules or did not live up to family or tribal standards, he was publicly shamed. Scorn functioned as the social conditions. Parents made sure their children witnessed public shamings. The sight had such an impact that it was usually enough to keep most children and adults in line.

Sarah smiled as she looked at the sleeping toddler. Many times Two Feathers had crawled into her tipi, and she’d always welcomed him, finding something to amuse him.

Sarah glanced up, a skirt and top she was sewing for herself in her lap. “Two Feathers fine son, my friend,” she replied in Lakota. She was pleased with her growing skills in communicating with the other girls.

Sarah bent her head to her task and concentrated on beading the intricate pattern the girls were teaching her.

Lifting her aching neck and shoulders from her hunched position, Sarah stretched. With a disgusted look at how little she’d accomplished, she glanced up and winced as the glare of the bright sun caught her fully. She shifted slightly. Smiling to herself, she eagerly awaited Golden Eagle’s return.

“Look at Sarah. She dreams of man. Hand still, no work,” the high-pitched giggling voice teased. Others joined in the good-natured teasing.

Most spoke in various degrees of halting English, as Sarah could not speak or understand enough of their language yet to carry on a long conversation.

A few of the younger girls took the opportunity to practice their English and gain real tutoring from Sarah. They had been too young to learn from the trapper. Their knowledge came from Bright Blossom, Golden Eagle, Red Fox and a few others during long winter days when weather made going out impossible.

Blushing furiously, Sarah met Bright Blossom’s sparkling eyes. “Pay no mind to silly girls,” Bright Blossom said. “They jealous of attention you get. They know Golden Eagle come soon to take you away. They wish their mates were so…loving.” Bright Blossom grinned, proud of using the new word.

Smiling in return, Sarah shifted her attention back to her beading. She ignored the giggles and playful threats Bright Blossom’s words evoked from those around her.

Golden Eagle was so tender, loving and patient that it seemed each waking thought centered around her golden warrior. Thoughts of her past and future had no meaning or importance anymore.

Aware of a quiet hush, Sarah looked up from the frustrating work piled in her lap.

Night Star stood behind the circle of women, listening to their carefree laughter and good-natured bantering. Now was the time to get even. Now was the time to let that foolish white girl know a thing or two, one thing in particular.

“So, white girl dream of Indian lover. Does she think she in love with future chief? Maybe she has thoughts to marry Golden Eagle,” Night Star sneered, eyes gleaming with malicious intent.

Bright Blossom jumped to her feet in agitation. “Night Star must not start trouble here. Hold your tongue. Golden Eagle will be very angry with you,” Bright Blossom declared, speaking rapidly in their native tongue.

Circling around Bright Blossom, Night Star stopped in front of Sarah. The Indian girl snickered and spoke in English for Sarah’s benefit. “Me? Make trouble? How mean of you, Bright Blossom.” She pouted. “I wish to join fun. Is funny, is it not, that a white whore thinks to become chief’s wife?”

Exhilarated by the power she held over the hated white girl, Night Star laughed gleefully, ignoring the stunned faces and gasps of outrage around her. She was past the point of caring, driven to burst the bubble of happiness surrounding the white girl. She was furious that most of her tribe had accepted her. Not a day went by without someone singing praises of the white girl.

Night Star smiled wickedly and waved her arms. “All know after buffalo hunt Golden Eagle marry Wild-Flower.” She turned and started to walk away.

“Perhaps Wild-Flower allow Golden Eagle to keep whore to be slave. You be chore wife. You see now, white girl? You just a whore to satisfy his man needs till he has wife to love. Wife to give him many strong sons.” Night Star watched shock give way to skepticism and disbelief in Sarah’s eyes.

“Marriage arranged long ago. Ask others if I speak truth,” she suggested spitefully, indicating those in the circle.

Satisfied as Sarah’s face paled, eyes glazed with shock, Night Star made her exit. She strolled, a pleased grin plastered across her plump face, the glow of revenge burning bright in her eyes and her laughter echoing behind her.

The silence that followed Night Star’s announcement rang loud and telling in Sarah’s ears. With wide disbelieving eyes, she prayed for denial, but no one would meet her searching gaze.

Turning to her friend, Sarah demanded, “Tell me she lies, Bright Blossom. Tell me she was being mean and spiteful! Tell me she does not speak the truth,” Sarah begged in desperation, her heart pounding painfully against her ribs.

Bright Blossom kneeled beside Sarah and grasped her friend’s icy fingers in her own, her eyes begging for understanding. “Listen to Bright Blossom, Sarah. Part what Night Star say is truth.” Bright Blossom held tight, not letting Sarah jump to her feet.

“Many winters ago it was arranged for Golden Eagle to marry Wild-Flower, daughter of Chief White Cloud. This joining is needed to bring peace between our tribes. Only this is truth. All else are lies. Golden Eagle not just use you. Bright Blossom
and others see the love he has for Sarah. Golden Eagle be very angry when he finds out what Night Star say,” the anxious girl vowed.

A cold calm cloaked Sarah against her friend’s pleading brown eyes as she shook her head. Slowly her color returned as a flush of anger made its marks of two bright spots of color on her cheeks. Sparks of white-hot fury drummed through her veins. The extent of Golden Eagle’s betrayal began to destroy the numbness cloaking her from hurt.

“No, my friend. If what you say is true, then Night Star spoke the truth.”

Waving down the protests around her, Sarah stated bitterly, “When he marries, I will be cast aside, no better than a whore.”

Sarah choked back tears as she stressed angrily, “The only difference is I was naive in thinking that perhaps he cared for me. That we had a future…” Her voice broke.

She shook her head and stood abruptly, her garments and beads falling unheeded to the dusty ground. She ignored the protests and pleas as she angrily stalked off. She was furious. Never had she been so angry, so humiliated and shamed. And worst of all was the hurt, the betrayal.

The spoken words, like a poisoned arrow, had struck their intended target with deadly precision. Never in her whole life had she felt such soul-rending pain.

Out of sight of those who watched anxiously, Sarah started to run blindly. Tears of anger and hurt streamed down her face, blurring the scenery as she followed the winding stream higher into the hills.

She ached with a pain so great, it was hard to breathe. The fresh wound lay open, deep and raw, bleeding the happiness from her soul. How could Golden Eagle do this to her? Trust him, he’d said. She had. She had trusted him with far more than her life. She’d trusted him with the greatest gift she could give. Herself. Her love.

Brushing away tears, Sarah cried out as her toe caught the edge of a rock, sending her flying. She buried her head in her hands.

Over and over, Night Star’s accusations echoed in her head. “What a fool I’ve been,” she sobbed. “He’s made a fool of me, and I’ve allowed him to. I’ve made it easy for him to take advantage of me.”

She lifted her head, rose onto her scraped knees, wiped the dirt from her face and brushed off her arms. Tears gathered anew. She looked up and saw a pair of eagles flying overhead. “How could I have been such a fool!” she shouted. “I really thought you cared for me. I even thought you might love me.” Her voice choked. “Especially when you called me your White Wind.”

Never would she have admitted to him her sense of pride, the feelings of belonging that came with the use of such a simple name.

Sarah stumbled and pushed on. After what seemed hours, she gave in to the painful cramps in her side and slowed to a walk, holding her side as the painful spasms increased until she could go no farther.

With a moan of pain, emotional and physical, she leaned against a gnarled old tree. Gasping and wheezing, she drew air into her burning lungs. “What am I going to do?” she cried aloud. Her hand went to her throat, seeking the comfort of her mother’s locket, and instead encountered a small wooden object.

She looked at her fingers, the small wooden eagle, wings outstretched to catch the currents of the wind, dangling as if in flight. A cry of pain tore from deep in her heart
and echoed across the surrounding hills. She yanked the leather thong from her neck, and tossed the necklace as far from her as she could.

Leaning her head wearily against the rough bark, she weighed her options. There was no way of going home on her own. She was smart enough to realize that. It was wandering alone that had landed her in trouble in the first place. She also had no doubt Golden Eagle would come after her as soon as he knew she’d run away. In her hurt and anger she’d left a trail even little Winona could follow.

Pushing away from the sturdy trunk, Sarah squared her shoulders. Lifting her head, she started walking slowly, ignoring the flung necklace resting on a branch by the water’s edge that seemed to call out to her. “Yes, my proud warrior. You will come, but I’ll not return willingly,” she vowed. “I have my pride.”

Sarah stopped and took in her surroundings. As she looked at the sun, her eyes narrowed. By her calculations, Golden Eagle would be returning soon. Wiping away all traces of tears from her pale cheeks, Sarah decided that she would not make it easy for him to drag her back.

Heading toward the thick undergrowth, she walked a long distance in, tearing at tree branches, kicking and scuffing the needle-covered ground, ripping bark, before carefully retracing her steps.

Taking care not to leave a trail, Sarah crossed the narrow stream by balancing on small boulders and rocks. Once across, she slowly headed into the bands of trees. She would walk a bit, then find a spot to wait and plan.

She needed time to pick up the scattered pieces of her heart. Time to close the wound in her soul and time to build a defense against Golden Eagle.

Most of all, she needed to stop the flow of pain from the deep gaping wounds left in the wake of his betrayal. Never would Golden Eagle be allowed to know her foolish dreams. Imagine, her, a white girl, thinking she could marry an Indian. A golden warrior at that. Who would be so foolish?

“I would,” she burst out. And to her disgust and dismay, tears began to stream down her face, leaving dirt-smudged streaks on her face.

Her head fell to her hands. She had fallen deeply in love and honestly wished to marry her golden warrior. She wanted to give Golden Eagle a son, full of life, brave as his father and huggable like Bright Blossom’s Two Feathers.
I’ve been a fool,
she silently berated herself again.

Golden Eagle and Red Fox returned to the village leading a pony weighed down with the fruits of their hunting trip.

Jumping off his horse, Golden Eagle quickly unloaded the stallion and hobbled him behind his tipi. He returned to help Red Fox unload the game they’d brought back for their own families and for those unable to hunt for fresh meat.

Grabbing several rabbits and a large antelope for his tipi and his parents, he left the rest for Red Fox to distribute.

Golden Eagle was eager to be alone with White Wind. He now automatically thought of her by her Indian name. At his tipi, he dropped the lifeless bodies onto the ground and stepped in, eager for her warm welcome.

He was amazed how quickly Sarah had become a vital part of him, of his life. He’d known from their first meeting there was something special about the child she’d once been. Whenever he looked upon the woman she’d become, gazed into her lively blue eyes, saw how well she’d adapted to their ways, he was convinced this woman was his soul mate. He’d lost his heart to her long ago.

The depth of his feelings surprised him the most. He’d always yearned for a love as strong as his parents’, but had given up ever finding it until White Wind.

Golden Eagle was happy and fulfilled. Gone was the restlessness that had seized him. Each day he left found him eager to return. White Wind, he realized, gave a meaning and purpose to his days.

Red Fox teased him without mercy. Golden Eagle frowned. To his sensitive ears there was always a thread of anger or displeasure in his friend’s voice whenever he referred to “Golden Eagle’s white girl.” Could Red Fox be jealous of the time he spent with her?

Sighing, Golden Eagle knew he could do nothing to make his friend accept Sarah. Tonight he planned to tell White Wind of his love, confident she felt the same for him.

It took him several seconds to realized that Sarah was not waiting for him in his tipi. Frowning, he felt a prickling sense of unease go through him. He was certain he’d not seen her outside. Where was she? Maybe she was waiting for him down by the stream. The day had been warm. Perhaps she was fetching cool water for Morning Grass as she often did in the afternoons. He left the tipi with anxious strides.

Red Fox, in the process of removing the hide horse pad from the back of his horse, saw Golden Eagle head for the edge of the village, probably for the stream. He frowned. A nagging sense of uneasiness assailed him. Something was wrong. The white girl was always in the village at this time of day.

His highly trained senses sounded alarms, but he could see nothing amiss. As usual, children scampered happily and men sat around mending hunting tools or weapons while they told stories. Most of the older women were laughing and shouting to one another as they prepared evening meals or tended to their sewing and mending.

Red Fox’s searching gaze passed over one group of older maidens and young women milling about the tipi of Bright Blossom. His sharp gaze honed in on each and every one. They were quiet, he realized, far too quiet. He watched their anxious heads turn toward Golden Eagle, following his every step.

Sarah could usually be found among them. Laughter always came from that group. Especially when they tried to teach her their language and Sarah in turn corrected their English. The result was gales of laughter at all the mistakes.

Red Fox left the hide horse pad half on and half off. He waited. He had the feeling his horse had more work to do, and leaned against the sturdiness of his mount. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Night Star ducking behind their tipi, her eyes fastened on Golden Eagle as he came striding back alone from the stream. He watched his sister turn and run off, smugness etched in her features.

Red Fox straightened. Her pleased grin contrasted with the glowering frowns she’d worn of late. He hoped for her sake she had not been the cause of any trouble, but when he looked over and watched the girls return to their individual tipis as Golden Eagle approached, he knew she’d been up to no good.

Golden Eagle couldn’t believe what Bright Blossom was telling him. He was careful to keep his face expressionless, but his anger grew and his eyes hardened as he listened to what had happened that day.

How dare Night Star interfere. He would see that she never caused trouble in this village again. First, however, Sarah had to be found.

He spotted Red Fox waiting by his horse and ran quickly toward him. “I have need of your help, my friend. Sarah’s gone.”

“Say no more, my brother. I will help you find her.” As the eldest male he was responsible for his sister’s actions. If she had committed a wrong, it was his duty to make it right. His father had aged much in the past few years and all family decisions had fallen to Red Fox, including dealing with his difficult sibling.

Together, Golden Eagle and Red Fox rode toward the stream where Sarah had last been seen. The sun peeked through the tree tops as they quickly picked up and followed Sarah’s trail. Golden Eagle related what Bright Blossom had revealed to him.

“My sister goes too far this time. She will be punished for her troublemaking deeds,” Red Fox stated, angry that Night Star had again cast the shadow of dishonor on the family.

Looking straight ahead, Golden Eagle said, “Let us hope, for her sake, White Wind comes to no harm. I will arrange a meeting with your father. The time is long overdue for Night Star to be married. As she can find no one suitable on her own, we shall arrange a marriage for her. I know of a warrior who is seeking a wife as his wife died during the winter. He will do for her.”

Red Fox nodded in agreement as they stopped, the trail ending at the water’s edge. Dismounting, Golden Eagle studied the torn and broken branches and scuff marks on the forest floor.

Relieved at having such an easy trail to follow, Golden Eagle suggested, “Wait there. I will follow. She can’t have gotten far.”

“Go to her, my brother. I will wait with the horses.” Red Fox led the horses to the stream for a cool refreshing drink.

No matter his feelings regarding the white girl, Red Fox knew his friend was in love with her. Perhaps he judged harshly after all. You did not always have a choice when it came to your heart, as he well knew. Images of a beautiful young maiden came to mind.

Kneeling, Red Foxed cupped a handful of cold sweet liquid and brought it to his lips. Dipping his hand for more, he froze when his sharp gaze spotted a small faint
footprint. Looking closer, he spotted another. Getting to his feet, he followed the nearly invisible trail across the stream, and there saw more prints in the soft dirt leading into the dense growth.

His eyes widened as comprehension hit. Smiling, he chuckled in admiration. “What a shrewd trick.” Golden Eagle would not suspect such a ploy from his woman. Red Fox looked toward the bushes where Golden Eagle had gone. He decided to investigate on his own.

Sitting on a fallen log, Sarah stared unseeingly into the green and brown of trees and brush. The snap of a dry twig startled her. Apprehension churned within as she turned, fully expecting to see Golden Eagle. She felt a stab of disappointment when she saw her visitor was only Red Fox.

Sarah tilted her chin, freezing him with her ice-cold glittering eyes, daring him to touch her.

“Golden Eagle will come once he realizes he has been tricked,” Red Fox promised, biding his amusement. “He will not be happy you made a fool of him, Sarah.”

Sarah started in surprise. This was the first time Red Fox had ever addressed her directly. She shrugged her slender shoulders. “Now he will know how I feel, Red Fox. A fool fooling a fool,” she said.

Red Fox grew serious and straightened. “My sister will be punished for the mischief she has caused.”

“Why? Night Star spoke the truth, did she not? It matters not the motive or the method used if what she says is truth.”

Frowning at Sarah’s reasoning, Red Fox replied harshly, “It was not her place to tell, Sarah. My sister’s only motive was to cause trouble and for that she will be punished. Come. Let us return.”

Lifting her head, Sarah remained firmly on the log. “No, Red Fox. I’m not going anywhere.” She watched Red Fox shrug, then retrace his steps. She prepared herself for Golden Eagle’s arrival.

Golden Eagle had retraced his steps, his face a furious mask at being so easily duped by a woman. He returned to the water’s edge and spotted Red Fox emerging from the low-growing shrubs across the stream.

Pointing the way, Red Fox warned, “Your woman is there. I’ve spoken with her. She is very angry. Her pride has been badly hurt. She refused to return with me.”

“Thank you, my friend.” Golden Eagle, deep in thought, rested his hands on his lean hips and stared at the lowering sun. Finally, he came to a decision. He told Red Fox of his plan, and the two clasped shoulders and went their separate ways. Red Fox headed back to the village, while Golden Eagle went to Sarah.

Sarah looked up when Golden Eagle burst into the tiny clearing in which she nervously waited. Two pairs of angry eyes clashed, neither willing to concede.

Stepping forward, Golden Eagle crossed his arms over his sun-darkened chest. He read the fury and hurt in her eyes and so calmed his own anger, recognizing that she did indeed have reason to be upset. Her pride had been damaged as well, but he had no doubt that he could convince her of his love.

“It grows late. We go and talk before darkness covers our land. No more games, White Wind.”

Sarah leaned back on her hands, looked Golden Eagle up and down and said, “I have nothing to say to Golden Eagle. Golden Eagle used Sarah as Willy would have. At feast Willy did not pretend with me. There is nothing more to say, except I wish to return home.” As an afterthought, she added, “And my name is Sarah, not White Wind.”

“No!” Golden Eagle’s hand slashed the air. “Your Indian name is White Wind. This is your home now. You belong here. It was meant to be.”

“It is you who refuses to see, Golden Eagle,” Sarah replied, her voice detached and aloof. “My home is where my people are. I belong there. You have your life, your future wife all picked out and waiting for you. I do not think she will want to share your tipi with your lover, nor would I share your tipi with your wife.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “So you see, there really is nothing to discuss— unless, of course, you are not promised to this girl after all, unless you are free to be with me?” Sarah arched her brow, clearly waiting and wishing for his denial.

With a wave of her arm when no such denial came forth, Sarah dismissed him, ignoring the furious anger that waited to erupt. “We will not discuss this any longer, Golden Eagle. You must leave. I wish to be alone. I know the way back and will return when I’m ready.” Sarah emphasized each word slowly and clearly.

Golden Eagle compressed his lips tightly and his fisted hands fell to his sides. “You have expressed your anger. I know you have been hurt. We will discuss this matter—now,” he thundered. He took two steps toward her, his hands held out, obviously willing to meet her halfway, although his patience was being worn thin by her stubbornness.

He narrowed his eyes and waited for Sarah to rise. When she turned her head away and made no move to stand, his temper nearly snapped.

His hands fell to his side. In a deceptively soft voice, he advised, “Do not defy me, Sarah. You’ve made your point. Come to me,” he commanded in measured tones while pointing to the ground in front of his feet.

Sarah stared at the place where Golden Eagle pointed before moving her gaze up his outstretched arm. Every line in the warrior’s body warned of unleashed anger that would soon explode.

If any in his village had been in Sarah’s spot, they would have immediately responded, knowing that this warrior wasn’t accustomed to being disobeyed or questioned.

But Sarah’s hurt and her feelings of betrayal ran so deep, she just didn’t care. The look she bestowed upon him said he couldn’t possibly hurt her any more than he already had.

“No,” she stated, arms crossed as she glanced back at the spot Golden Eagle indicated.

“Get up and come here now.” Golden Eagle’s slow and menacing words threatened retribution if not obeyed immediately.

“I refused to come to Golden Eagle,” Sarah said, scrambling over the log as the angry warrior advanced.

With long strides Golden Eagle stopped in front of the log that Sarah now stood behind. “I warned you not to push me, White Wind.” With that reminder, he lifted a foot to the log and leaped over.

Sarah stepped back, keeping out of arm’s reach.

Golden Eagle lunged, grabbed Sarah around her waist and swung her up and over his broad shoulders before she realized his intentions.

Ignoring her kicking feet and pounding fists, Golden Eagle stalked through the woods unaware of the low tree limbs that snagged and scratched as he shoved his way through.

“Put me down,” Sarah shrieked. Her fists pummeled his back. When that had no effect, she reached down and pinched the flesh near his sides.

A hiss of pain escaped Golden Eagle’s clenched jaw. He reached up and smacked the back of her thighs with the flat of his hand. Hearing her squeal of outrage, he cautioned, “Behave.”

“I hate you, Golden Eagle. I hate you!” Sarah screamed.

Wading through the stream, he deposited her on the ground beside his horse.

“Now, do you come with me willing or not?” he asked, giving her one more chance to change her mind and save her pride.

Crossing her arms and feet, Sarah sat, unmoving. Her defiant and mutinous expression was the sole response to his question.

With a sigh of resignation, Golden Eagle reached down and hauled her squirming figure into his arms. None too gently, he tossed her, belly down, across the back of his horse and mounted behind her.

Golden Eagle was determined to make her understand the circumstances surrounding his betrothal to Wild-Flower. He was angry that she’d not given him the chance to explain.

Pressing one hand into the small of her back to keep Sarah from falling, he held the braided buffalo-hair lead in the other as he ignored Sarah’s yells.