White Lines (64 page)

Sunny slapped Ava a high five, and then sat down on the sofa beside Jada. She looked at Jada, and asked, “So, what did I miss?”

Jada shrugged. “Not too much. I was just about to tell Ava how I got the flowers from Born, and started reminiscing.” She looked at Sunny, who was yawning and stretching, and obviously tired. Jada herself was exhausted. “I’m sure you’re riveted by my life story, but I need to get some sleep. So do you, Ava. We have to bury our mother in the morning.” Jada closed her
eyes,
partly from fatigue, and in part to picture Edna Ford’s face one more time. It would be a bittersweet good-bye. Jada
was missing her mother, and the good times they’d managed to have after all their turmoil. But part of Jada was anxious for the closure her mother’s death had brought her. It was time to let go of old pain, and old regret. Time to move forward and embrace what was yet to come.

Ava agreed, and stifled a yawn of her own. They found Sheldon and Mercedes already sleeping in his bed, and decided to leave them. Sunny insisted on sleeping on the couch, and Ava took the guest bedroom. Jada went to the sanctuary of her own room, and stretched out across the bed.

She lay back in the dark, thoughts swimming around in her head. She couldn’t fall asleep, and she got sick of tossing and turning. She looked at the clock, which read 3:54
A.M.
She wanted to call Born. But she questioned what she would say to him. She had so much to say, and wasn’t sure where to begin. She wondered how she would start the conversation. But more than anything, she just needed to talk to him. She had to get some closure for once. Without second-guessing herself she reached for the phone. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Hello?” He sounded sleepy, just as before.

“Born?” she said. “It’s Jada.” Her heart was pounding at the sound of his voice.

She heard a loud thud, and then some commotion, before he came back on the line. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I dropped the phone.”

Jada laughed, silently. She knew that hearing from her must have been the last thing he expected. Especially at four o’clock in the morning. “I’m sorry I called so late,” she said. “I should have waited until the morning—”

“Nah, Jada,” Born said, getting out of bed and whispering, so as not to wake Anisa. He was glad that his fumbling the phone hadn’t woken her up. He was in a state of shock, hearing Jada’s familiar voice over the phone after so many years. He walked downstairs quietly and slipped into the kitchen to avoid being heard. “I’m glad you called me.” His face bore a smile so wide that his whole face lit up. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

Jada, too, was smiling. She hadn’t heard him speak her name in far too long. “Thank you for the flowers,” she said. “I was real surprised when I read the card. I didn’t expect to hear from you again.”

Born had almost forgotten the sad occurrence that had prompted him to contact Jada in the first place. He apologetically said, “I’m sorry, Jada. I’m sorry to hear about your moms dying.” Born knew how strained Jada’s relationship with her mother had been. There were many times over the years that he had sat and listened to her tell him story after story about her childhood, and about how her mother had let her down. Still, even with all their faults, Born knew that when one loses a parent, there’s a terrible emotional barrage that accompanies that loss.

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m dealing with it.” Jada switched the phone to her other ear. Jada’s voice was tinged with regret. “I wish I could have told her that I forgave her.” She sighed, thinking of her mother’s delicate face, her soft voice, and her calm demeanor. Jada had never wanted to be as soft, as weak as her mother. But after a day spent thinking back on her addiction, she realized that she had been just as weak, just as pathetic.

Born cleared his throat. “I know how that is. I had a lot of shit that I never got to say to my father before he died.”

Silence filled the conversation, as the two of them searched for what to say. So many days, months, and years had passed since their last conversation. So many things had taken place, and the two of them were so very different from the people they’d been when they were younger. But they were also still very much the same.

Jada searched for something to say, but it was Born who filled the silence. “I think about you all the time,” he said. He was being honest. “I really do. I know that the last time we saw each other, it wasn’t nothing nice. But I just want you to know that I still think about you. I think about you a lot.”

Jada wanted to cry and smile at the same time. His words were such a comfort to her, and yet it hurt her so badly to know that he still cared for her after all she’d done. “Born, I’m sorry that I ever hurt you. I don’t know what to say to explain why I did what I did.” Jada paused, knowing that there
was
no excuse for what she’d done. Born had loved her enough to make up for all the love she’d never had. And that hadn’t been enough to keep her from going back to drugs. She knew that she had let him down just as much as she’d let herself down. “All I can tell you is
that I never meant to hurt you. I always loved you, and I’m so sorry for everything.”

Born held the phone, with his
eyes
closed. Hearing her say those words, he felt her sincerity. He knew in his heart that she hadn’t meant to cause him any pain. “I wanna see you,” Born said before he realized it. “I need to see your face.”

Jada held her breath, completely mesmerized by what he’d just said. She was still amazed at the fact that she was talking to her soul mate after so many years, and so many tears. “I want to see you, too. We’ve got so much catching up to do.”

“Good, so let’s meet somewhere tomorrow,” Born suggested, wasting no time.

“I can’t tomorrow. I’m burying my mother tomorrow. Ava’s staying with me, and Sunny’s here with her daughter. I got a house full of guests coming, and I can’t slip away, even after the funeral.”

“I understand.”

“But what about the next day? Friday. Can’t we see each other then?”

Born thought about Anisa’s birthday plans. She was going away on Friday with Precious and Kiara to Atlantic City. He smiled at the perfect timing, and agreed. “Yeah. That’s perfect. We can get together on Friday.” He was glad that he’d allowed himself to be suckered into footing the entire bill after all. He would be rid of Anisa for the weekend, and free to catch up with Jada, the one who still held the key to his heart. The situation was a win/win.

“Good. I can’t wait to see you.” She paused, summoning the courage to say what was on the tip of her tongue. She could feel her heart racing in her chest. “I miss you.” Jada’s voice sounded soft and unsure.

Born pictured her face, and wondered why he started smiling. “I miss you, too.”

They hung up after agreeing to meet at a new soul food restaurant on Forest Avenue that Friday. They both fell asleep with thoughts of each other running rampant in their minds.

The next day Jada and Ava set about the task of burying their mother. She didn’t mention to Sunny or to Ava that she had spoken to Born the
previous night. She kept replaying their conversation in her head, as they headed to the church. Throughout the ceremony, Jada cried and Ava consoled her, and then they’d switch roles. Sunny sat with Sheldon and Mercedes, trying to keep them entertained in the somber setting. She played a game of hangman with them silently in the last pew of the church, while some of the older women in the congregation looked at her disapprovingly. One of the ushers whispered loudly enough for Sunny to hear that it was wrong to play games in God’s house. Sunny resisted the urge to give the Christian women the finger, and simply ignored them, while she continued playing with the kids. The service was beautiful, and when it was concluded, they all piled into the limousine for the journey to Edna’s burial site. Ava had her Gucci shades on to hide her
eyes,
bloodshot from crying all day. She turned to Jada and held her hand. “I want you to know that it wasn’t easy for me to forgive her either, Jada.”

Jada squeezed her sister’s hand. She had often wondered how Ava had been able to forgive Edna after all their mother’s emotional neglect had driven Ava to run away and to attempt suicide.

“I couldn’t forgive her at first, because I knew that she suspected J.D. was pushing up on me long before I told her that he was. Later on, after me and her started speaking again, she admitted that she was suspicious and that she was in denial. She said she wanted to keep us and keep J.D., and so she made herself see what she wanted to see rather than what was really going on. The picture-perfect family she wanted outsiders to see was really a twisted mess. She tried to hide it. That was her way of dealing with things at that time. Mommy never found the courage to fight until she found Jesus.” Ava wiped her eyes. “It took me a long time to forgive her for being so weak. So don’t think you’re the only one who wasted valuable time being angry. I did, too.”

Sunny handed Ava a tissue, and Jada rubbed her back to comfort her.

At the cemetery, the entire congregation seemed to be present, as they all circled Edna’s final resting place. Jada held Sunny’s hand, and Ava’s, and they prayed with the minister, who said a final prayer for the soul of Edna Ford. As soil was thrown upon Edna’s casket, the minister said that
from dust they had all come, and to dust they would all return. Jada glanced around as Edna’s fellow parishioners gathered around her grave. She smiled, seeing that her mother had made such an impression on so many of the members of her church. It seemed like the entire congregation had come out for Edna’s funeral. Jada was happy that her mother had managed to find solace in her faith. She held Ava’s hand, as Ava cried softly with her head on her sister’s shoulder. As they headed back to the limousine for the ride to Jada’s house, Sunny put her arm around her best friend’s shoulder. “Your mother must have been so proud to see who you are now, Jada. You came a long way, and I’m proud of you.”

Jada smiled, and held Sunny around her waist as they walked back to the car. She nodded her head, too choked up to respond verbally. Because after all she had been through, Jada was proud of
herself.
They piled into the limo, and headed to Jada’s house to welcome the steady stream of well-wishers that they knew would surely come. Some of Edna’s friends would be there to show support, and to genuinely express their condolences.

Others would only be coming to see what was what. They had heard about Edna’s two daughters—one who was a recovering crackhead, and the other, a successful attorney from Philly. They wanted to see what they looked like, and how Jada’s house looked. For that reason, Jada began to straighten up the house, so that the nosy broads coming to snoop would have nothing but good things to run back and tell the rest.

Soon the guests began to arrive, and they all had stories about Edna. One after another, they regaled Jada and Ava with story after story about Edna’s acts of kindness. How she’d volunteered at soup kitchens, and visited the sick as a member of the missionary board. The solo that Edna sang off-key whenever she got the chance. They all spoke of Edna’s faith and devotion to the church. Jada and Ava were soon overwhelmed with hearing all the wonderful stories about their mother. Jada listened, happy that so many people had come to love her mother. She continued playing the perfect hostess, as guests milled about her house. But her mind soon drifted elsewhere.

All she could think about was Born’s voice in her ear. He missed her.

He didn’t hate her. He thought about her all the time. Jada went through the motions of entertaining her guests, and she counted down the hours until she could see the man she still loved once again. The hours ticked by so slowly, and she could hardly wait to see his face once again.

Born sat at the corner table in the back of the soul food restaurant, wondering why he felt strange sensations in his stomach. Could it be that Jada still made him feel this fire after all these years? Born was anxious to see her, but nervous at the same time. So much time had passed since the last time he’d been face-to-face with her. He sipped his drink, glancing periodically at the entrance, waiting for the moment that she would walk through the door. She didn’t make him wait very long.

Jada entered the restaurant, greeted all the regulars, and scanned the room for the love of her life. She felt a knot in her stomach from anticipation. It had been so long since she had last seen Born that she wondered how he had changed, what was different. She wondered if he would think she looked the same, or if she had aged. Would the few pounds she’d gained over the years be instantly recognized? These things she wondered about as her eyes subtly perused the scene.

Jada glanced down at her clothes, unsure. But she decided that the 7 For All Mankind jeans, salmon-colored top, and matching stiletto boots she wore were fine. She couldn’t believe her hands were actually trembling from jitters. Born took it all in, noticing how sexy she still was. Her body was still exquisite; she looked even better than she had the last time he had seen her. He sat dumbfounded, in awe of her, and remembered the very first time he had laid eyes on her. Strutting down the street, with all that body and so many secrets. All the years of loving her came flooding back. Jada turned, and their eyes met across the room. She spotted Born at the table in the back, where she knew he had strategically placed himself to avoid being seen. Born had always been the type to lay in the cut, and avoid detection. She headed toward him smiling, her heart racing all the way. He still looked so good. His smile was so familiar, the way the corners of his eyes creased when he did so. His dimples, which
Jada loved so much. Jada felt his eyes penetrating her, and she grabbed her snakeskin clutch tighter in the palm of her hands, and scanned his face as she walked toward him. She felt like time was standing still as she approached his table. Each one step felt like two.

Born stood to his feet, and Jada realized that she had forgotten just how powerful his presence was. He towered over her, fifteen pounds heavier than the last time they’d seen each other, but still so handsome, still so incredibly sexy. He wore a button-up Rocawear shirt, matching jeans, and a pair of Uptowns. His icy chain, dripping in brilliant diamonds, hung low on his chest. She took all of him in, and he could see by the look on her face and the sparkle in her eyes that she liked what she saw. Her smile made his heart race. He pulled her close to him in a firm embrace that was so long and so meaningful that some of the other patrons turned and smiled at them, seeing that there was obviously love between these two. The years had passed, so much had changed, and yet his arms—these arms—felt so familiar. Jada lost herself in them briefly. For several moments, he held her. Then he pulled back ever so slightly and gazed into her eyes, seeing the tears that she was trying so hard to hold back.