Wherever the Dandelion Falls (39 page)

But then again, that kiss made it too easy to imagine holding her hand as I opened the door of the coffee shop, senses flooded with the sounds and smells of her and coffee.

I walked back out to the living room where she was perched tentatively on the edge of the couch, still in her dress. Her hands were clutched in her lap, knees pinned together as she stared at the floor.

"Here," I said, nudging Faye's shoulder with the shirt.

Faye took the shirt and tucked it in her lap with her hands. “Thanks.”

I stood for a second before saying, "Do you want sweats too?"

Faye shook her head. "No, this is fine."

I nodded, staring down at Faye for what felt like forever before realizing she wasn't going to change while I was in the room.

"I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah," Faye said, looking back at the coffee table.

"Okay. Goodnight." I turned and walked toward my room.

"Wait," Faye called suddenly.

I looked back. Faye didn't say anything, but stood and walked over to me. She held her arms up halfway before leaning forward and hugging me. It was tentative at first, but then she rested her head on my shoulder and squeezed her arms around me. "Thank you," she murmured.

She stayed like that for a moment while my heart raced. Our bodies were pressed together with only a few layers of fabric between us. I wrapped my arms around her waist and murmured, "Of course. You can always come here."

We stayed like that until I was sure we'd get stuck together.

Then Faye pulled away, calm as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Faye turned back to the couch and picked up the shirt, throwing one last smile over her shoulder.

I forced my feet to move towards my bedroom. As I settled back into my bed, I was certain I wouldn't get a wink of sleep knowing the most beautiful girl in the world was on my couch, only yards away.

I held Faye there for a long time, hoping she really believed I wouldn't pressure her to come out until she was ready. When the tension finally left her body, I pulled back and gave her a gentle smile before I said, "Can I kiss you?"

She exhaled with a shaky smile and leaned forward, kissing me before I could kiss her. It was a kiss of gratitude, of relief, and new intimacy. It lasted only a few seconds, but I felt as though time passed between us.

I took her hand and said, "We should do something fun. Justine told me there's a cupcake exhibition in Fort Mason tomorrow. Want to go?"

Faye paused for a minute, eyes flickering down to our hands. Sensing that being in public together would make her nervous, I let go of her hand, silently promising not to be too affectionate in public. "I'll behave," I said. "I need both hands to hold cupcakes anyway."

Faye's smile returned. "That sounds fun," she said.

"Justine might be going with Avery and some of her friends from work. You can invite friends too if you want."

"That's okay," Faye said hurriedly. "I'll probably want to focus on the... cupcakes." I thought her eyes flickered down to my cleavage for a minute, but I wasn't sure.

Glad that we were planning fun things, I leaned forward and pecked her on the lips again.

"Great," I said. "What do you want to do today?"

Faye took a few steps away, stepping over a pile of books on her floor. "I don't know..." She stopped next to her bed, then reached up and fiddled with her top button with a coy smile. "I'm sure we can think of something." Her eyebrow gave a subtle lift and I felt my heart pick up.

"I'm sure we can," I said, walking to join her.

Faye reached forward to pull me closer by my shirt before lifting it over my head and drawing me flush against her torso.

I couldn't help myself from smiling as I brought my chin to hers, pressing our smiles together as she continued undressing me.

Soon we were naked and she had pushed the covers off her mattress and she was on top of me. Everything was slower this time. She still gripped my head and hips and breasts with just as much fervor, but she took time to breathe. I loved this slowed-down version of her. She even made some eye contact throughout, which I realized wasn't something she usually did.

Once she worked me up until I was groaning and panting and writhing beneath her, holding me tight and firm as I came, she rested on top of me, satisfied and sweaty. I brushed her hair out of her face and smiled up at her. The intensity of her adoration overwhelmed me. I closed my eyes and took a few more moments to catch my breath before I opening them again.

"You ready for me?”

"Always," she said.

Tilting my chin up to kiss her, I wrapped my arms around her back and drew her into me. I slid my feet through the sheets and propped my legs up so I had some leverage with my hips. Then, suddenly, I pushed off the mattress, turning us over so I was on top of her, straddling her. At the same time, I grabbed her arms and pinned them next to her head.

She looked stunned, then jerked her hands to free herself, but I held firm. She tried once more before she exhaled in surrender.

I set about ravishing her. Hands still trapping her arms, I burrowed into her neck, nipping and sucking on the tender skin, never hard enough to leave a mark. I rocked my hips into her, setting a rhythm, feeling how our breasts rubbed together, sticky with the sweat she'd worked up between us. I started humming as I trailed lower, kissing her breasts before sucking her nipple into my mouth. She drew in a quick breath and arched up into me. My body was still humming with the orgasm she'd given me, but I felt myself starting to get aroused again. I wondered if I would ever be completely satisfied in her bed; she was saltwater to my thirst, and every touch, every breath only made me thirstier.

She shivered and tensed, and when I brushed my fingers against her sex, she whimpered. I kept playing with her gently, never delving inside. Her legs tensed and her feet pointed a few times, brow crinkling over closed eyes. Finally she was so frustrated, she muttered, "Stop teasing, Riley."

At that, I relented and pushed inside her, watching her mouth open silently in relief. From there, I worked her up until she was clutching at me and straining back with her orgasm. I watched her roll through it and smiled down at her. When she came down, she immediately flipped me over, burrowing into my neck as she recovered.

I chuckled in satisfaction, feeling her weight on top of me, elated to be close to her. We drifted towards sleep, awaking only to untangle ourselves and go to the bathroom before settling in for the night. I slept soundly, comforted by the sound of Faye's soft breathing next to me.

The next morning when I crept back into my apartment, Justine ambushed me.

"Time's up, Montgomery," she said. "You talk to her?"

I was startled. "Yeah," I said. "We talked."

"And?"

"And… we're good.”

Justine gave me a dubious glare.

"It's complicated," I said.

"No, it's not," Justine whined. "Either she wants to be with you or she doesn't. If she's not sure, she doesn't deserve you."

"I know. But I'm clear on what's going on now."

"Which is?" Justine squinted.

I turned and faced her, giving her my best challenging stare. "She's not out, so I'm not going to push her to define something we both understand."

"Wait,
what
?" Justine said. "She's not
out
?"

"Nope," I said, grateful someone was as surprised as I was.

"But she's, like…" Justine made confusing gestures that indicated how flabbergasted she was.

"I know. But she's not ready to come out, so I'm not going to push anything," I echoed.

Justine was quiet for a moment before she said, "Is she planning to come out?"

Realizing I didn't know the answer to Justine's question, I shrugged.

"Don't you care?" Justine asked, surprised.

"Not really. I know she's there for me."

"But what about when you want to bring a date somewhere or if someone asks if you're single?"

Realizing I hadn't thought about that, I gave a shrug that I'm sure was less convincing. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," I said, trying to stay calm. "Right now we're just having fun."

Justine sucked in air through her teeth. "I don't know, Riley... I feel like it's going to get complicated."

I gave Justine a placating smile. "Two people liking each other doesn't have to be any more complicated than it sounds."

"But how would you feel dating her long-term if she never came out?"

I realized that I hadn't thought about it. I had assumed that Faye planned to come out at some point. Not today or tomorrow, but eventually. I hadn't considered that she might
never
come out.

"It's not my place to decide if she comes out," I said.

"But you do get to decide if you're okay dating someone who may not come out."

I started feeling resentful of Justine. All I wanted to do was be grateful that I finally understood why Faye was the way she was. Understanding why she protected her tender underbelly made me like her even more.

"It's fine if she doesn't come out," I said.

“I just want you to consider how you'll feel when you can't bring her home for Christmas or take her as your date to the next wedding you get invited to."

I shot Justine a look. "We're not there yet, Justine," I said. "Slow down."

Justine backed off. "You're right," she said, holding up her hands. "I'm just protective of you."

I gave her an appreciative smile. "I know," I said. "But don't worry, I can take care of myself."

“You can,” she said.

She patted my knee and got up to refill her water glass.

I was left in the living room stewing over the questions she'd brought up. My adoration for Faye aside, how
did
I feel about dating someone who was closeted and not planning to come out? The idea of a secret relationship was part tantalizing, but also part awful. I was happy that Faye liked me back, but it sucked that I wasn't allowed to show her off to anyone. Perhaps more hurtfully, she didn't want to show
me
off. I couldn't help but think that not sharing our joy would stifle it.

I managed to get inside and close the door behind me before my face scrunched up and I went hot and tight all over. I was furious at Faye for what she'd done to someone I didn't even know.

And worse than that, I was angry at myself for trusting her. She had put on such a convincing show, I had bought into the idea that such a wonderful person existed. Now that idea had been shattered. She was nothing but a charlatan.

Justine poked her head out of the kitchen with a smile that fell when she saw me standing by the door.

"Hey..." she said walking towards me tentatively. "I thought you were staying with Faye tonight."

I shook my head, closing my eyes to push back tears. "No," I gulped.

"Everything okay?"

I shook my head again and Justine's face shifted into an even more concerned expression.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I took a deep breath and shuddered, feeling more grateful than ever for Justine. I gave an unsteady nod and walked over to the couch, falling into it, wishing it would wrap me up in its faultless, pillowy expanse.

Justine followed me and sat in her armchair, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees as she waited for me to talk.

"You know how Faye seems perfect?" I said, surprised at the roughness of my voice.

"No one's perfect," Justine murmured.

I shook a little more. "I thought she was," I mumbled. I tilted my head back and looked at the ceiling, waiting until my vision cleared a bit before I took a deep breath. "She told me tonight that she outed her ex to get a better job."

Justine didn't say anything, but I could feel her tense. After a moment, she said gently, "Yikes..."

"You know Callie Wilson?"

“Uh huh.”

"The reason everyone knows she likes girls is because Faye made sure they did after they broke up."

I glanced at Justine to gauge her reaction. First her brow crinkled, then she said, "Faye dated Callie Wilson?"

I let out a fatigued sigh and nodded.

Justine's eyebrows arched. "Shit."

I put my hand on my stomach, feeling it untwist a little now that I'd told someone else the awful truth about Faye.

"I don't know if I can trust her," I mumbled.

"Callie Wilson?" Justine frowned.

"No, Faye," I said, annoyed. "If she outed Callie, what's stopping her from screwing me over?"

"I thought you guys weren't screwing yet," Justine said, trying to make me laugh.

"We're not," I muttered.

Justine took my tone as an indicator of my lack of humor on the matter. She nodded and laced her hands together between her knees.

"She said that she knows she shouldn't have done it, but when she goes into work every day, she feels conflicted because she loves her job."