Where the Wild Rose Blooms (42 page)

"You need to gain more interest in the things around you, Jackie," he repeated. "This is one way to do it. I've even found you a teacher."

This gained Jackie's immediate attention. She sat very still, and a feeling of dread stole over her. She was not going to be able to talk her way out of this if he had already talked to a teacher.

"Who is it?" she asked in a resigned voice.

Robert glanced quickly at Eddie before saying, "Clayton Taggart.

Jackie rose from the settee as though on strings, the color draining from her face.

"You're lying. Clayton is in Denver."

"He has been hired to teach school here in Boulder, and I just spoke with him yesterday. He's willing to come every day and tutor you until school begins. After September he'll probably come evenings and weekends."

"No." Jackie said the word softly and then with more strength.
"No,
I won't do it! You've had your way about everything. Well, you can forget this, Robert Langley. I
won't
be taught by Clay Taggart, and that's the end of it!"

Robert had known she was going to be upset, but he hadn't been prepared for this furious, red-in-the-face reaction. She was not just beside herself; she was hysterical with panic.

"I want to go home," she now began. "I want to go to Georgetown.
Eddie,"
she screamed. "Eddie, don't let him do this to me."

Robert was on her in a moment, putting his arms gently around her and talking in a calm voice, but Jackie would have none of it. She cried and pushed against him, even lashing out with her feet and screaming Eddie's name again and again.

Robert forced her back onto the settee, and when he had practically pinned her to the seat, his words got through.

"It's all right, Jackie; its all right. 1 know its a shock, but its going to be all right."

"Please don't make me, Robert," she whimpered when she could barely move an inch. Robert had to wall up his heart to make it. He knew this was best, but it was breaking his heart to see her so upset.

"It's going to be all right," he said with a catch in his voice. "You'll find out that he's still the same Clay, and his coming will give you something to look forward to. I know he's going to be a very good teacher."

Jackie turned her face into his coat front and sobbed. "I can't stand the pity. I know he's just coming because he feels sorry for me. I can't stand it. I wrote and told him I was in love with someone else. Please don't make me face Clay."

"Shhh," he comforted. Looking over at his sobbing wife, he wished he could hold them both. He didn't regret this action for a moment, but he did hate to see his wife and sister-in-law in pain.

"Jackie." Eddie surprised Robert by speaking up. "I hate to see you this upset. Please don't cry."

The younger girl took a few great gulping breaths and worked hard to control herself.

"I just can't face him," she said so
softy that they almost missed it. "He's going to know I lied, and after all we've been to each other, I just don't. . . ." The words trailed off, but she no longer cried. Her unseeing eyes stared sightlessly ahead of her as if she hadn't a friend in the world.

Robert broke the silence.

"I think you will find that Clay is every inch a professional. Whatever there was in the past is just that, the past."

He let this sink in for a time.

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy, Jackie," Robert continued in a very gentle tone, "but then you've had to learn in the last ten months that your life will never be easy again. Now, you can decide how you want it. You can work with Clay or fight him, but he will be here."

If Jackie had felt hopeless before, she now felt beyond despair. However, she did not feel helpless. For the first time since the accident, she told herself she was not going to ask for assistance or do anything that might make it look like she needed help. Clayton Taggart was not going to come and find some pitiful, waning creature in need of special care. She would do all he asked of her and more. She would work so hard that he wouldn't even need to stay the whole year.

Exactly how she was going to accomplish this she didn't know, but her mind was made up. She had told Clayton that she'd found someone new. It wasn't true, but it might as well have been: She was never going to let him know that she was still in love with him.

Claytons heart pounded as he lifted the crate up onto his kitchen table and pried open the lid. The box was from his mother, but he knew she couldn't have received his letter. Even before he'd remembered the books, he'd told Robert he would take the job. Other than rote memorization, he didn't have a clue as to how to teach Jackie, but he was not going to let this opportunity pass.

The lid was off now, and Clayton moved aside old newspapers and straw. Again he felt his breath quicken. She'd sent his books—all of them! It had to be the Lord.

He dug deeply into the box, his heart sinking a little. Then he saw them. Two volumes, one rather thick and one quite small and thin. He pulled the fat one out and dusted it off:
Braille: Methods and Management.
The other volume was a book of poetry written in Braille. They had been in his grandmother's library, and she had given them to him. He had never even looked at them. They'd been taking up space on his lower shelf for months, and he wasn't even certain if he still had them. He now turned to the first page of the manual, his hand shaking.

He read that a young French lad by the name of Louis Braille, who had gone blind at age three, developed a system in 1828 that was based on a six-dot configuration. Clayton had heard of this method—reading by following raised marks on paper—but he had never studied or given much thought to it. Now he read in amazement that there were 63 possible characters in the Braille system. With those dot arrangements a person could make the alphabet, punctuation marks, numbers, and some small words.

For the next three hours, Clayton didn't move. His neck grew stiff and the hand holding the book cramped, but he read on. He didn't know if he could learn enough in two days, but he was going to give it a try. If it didn't work, he would tell Jackie that they would be learning together. With the instruction book open under his left hand and the poetry book open in his right, Clayton tried to read with his fingers. It took another hour to learn even a few words, but he was getting it. He nearly shouted for joy when he turned to the back of the manual and found a long list of practice words.

Thank You, Lord. I know You've made this possible. Please help me to help her. You know that my heart has been involved in the past, but I don't ask this for myself. I ask for Jackie. Please help her to understand. Make me the teacher You would have me to be, patient and kind.

Clayton prayed for the next
hour
and then worked over the books some more. He did little else in the next 48 hours but sleep, study, and pray. When Thursday morning arrived, he knew he was as ready as he was going to be, and his heart thudded with a mixture of joy and apprehension, all the time telling himself to watch his expectations. He looked at the watch in his pocket constantly and nearly forgot to shave, but it was finally time to go.

Jackie pressed her damp palms deep into the folds of her dress and told herself she was not going to use the necessity again. Her stomach had been in knots ever since she'd awakened and realized that this was the day Clayton was scheduled to arrive.

How would it feel? How would it be to hear his voice but never see his wonderful face again? Jackie's heart thundered at the very thought. Her breathing came fast, and she nearly jumped from her skin when Eddie spoke to her from across the table.

"I'm sorry to startle you," she said, tears filling her
eyes
as they had been all morning. "Please try to eat something, Jackie."

"I'm just not hungry. I think if I eat, I'll be sick to my stomach."

Eddie sighed. It was remarkable how much weight Jackie could drop in a few days. For a while she had started to fill out a little, but now she was back to her cadaverous state. Eddie was feeling sick just thinking about what Jackie was going through.

"Just some toast," Eddie coaxed, but Jackie shook her head.

The young wife wondered if Robert would have held to his resolve if he could see Jackie now. It wasn't that Eddie disagreed with the schooling decision; it was just that she felt too emotionally involved to be the one to enforce this. Not that she expected Jackie to fight it; indeed, a frightening transformation had come over her sister since Robert had made his announcement. The younger girl looked hard now, implacable, and that was something Eddie was not accustomed to seeing. The vulnerable, frightened, and oft times apathetic Jackie was gone. This Jackie was defensive and angry. Eddie simply didn't know what to think.

"I think I'll wait in my room," Jackie suddenly said and rose.

"Are you sure? I thought you would want to be in the study before Clayton arrives."

"The study? We're going to be in there?"

"Yes. Robert thought it would give you the most privacy." Jackie nearly fainted on the spot. She had assumed they would be in the living room. She didn't know the study like she did the other rooms in the house. She was sure to bump things if she tried to move around. There was only one answer.

"I will go to the study now, Eddie. Please give me some warning before he walks in the door."

"I will," Eddie promised, but stared after her in confusion. What was the problem with the study? Thankfully, Eddie realized the answer before Clayton arrived. She went to Jackie immediately and helped her find her way around. When the bell sounded at the front door, signaling Clayton's arrival, she left Jackie sitting at the inlaid mahogany writing table that Robert had set up for just that purpose.

Claytons heart was a mixture of emotions as he stood and waited for the door of the Langley home to open. In some ways he was glad that Jackie wouldn't be able to read his face, but her blindness was still so shocking to him that he was having trouble taking it in. She appeared to be so accepting. First in the buggy, then when she waited for her glass of water, and then again at church, sitting silently through the whole morning, not even aware that he was in the room. Was she really so resigned? Clayton somehow doubted it. The door opened amidst the questioning of his mind.

"Hello, Tag," Eddie greeted him warmly, but the young man noticed a flush to her face.

"Are you all right?"

Eddie gave a small laugh. "Just a little tense. Jackie wants me to warn her before I let you in the study. In truth, I think she's scared out of her wits."