Where the Wild Rose Blooms (46 page)

"You mean, allowed your blindness to happen?"

"Yes. I was only trying to help Father, and now I'll never see again. Why is it like that sometimes?"

"Can I read something to you, Jackie?"

"Yes." She listened as her sister rose, went across the room, and then reseated herself.

'This is a letter Mother wrote to me long before we brought you to Boulder. I'd like to share part of it with you."

"All right."

"Mother writes, The temptation to question is strong at a time like this. Why my daughter? Why my Jackie? But then I also have to ask myself, why
not
my daughter? I think of the blind man from John 9. The disciples asked Jesus, whose fault is
it
that's he's
blind, his or
his parents? Jesus told them it wasn't anyone's fault, but that the works of God would be manifested in this deed. I will do well to remember this. We live in a sinful world and painful, evil things happen. God allows them to show us our need for
Him.
I must be thankful for that sovereignty and not fight against it.

'"I have found a verse, Exodus 4:11, that has been
a
comfort to me. "And the Lord said, unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? Or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?" This reminds me, Eddie, that He never lost control. Even as my precious girl fell and lost her sight forever, He was there.
Will
she ever again take enough interest in life to ask me about this? I don't know, but I have peace
and I pray that
someday she will live as she never has before.' "

"Oh, Eddie." Jackie had tears in her eyes. "She answered my question, and I'd never even asked it. I might have never known."

Eddie hugged her for a long time before they fell quiet. Then, for the first time since Eddie could remember, Jackie asked her to read from the Bible.

She was more than happy to comply, and Jackie listened, her head tilted to hear every word until
she
realized she was getting a crick in her neck. She told Eddie that they could stop when she heard the older girl yawn, but Eddie insisted they keep on. However, she suddenly stopped a few verses later.

"Eddie?" Jackie called softy, moving her hand along the davenport. She felt her sisters skirt and knew she was there.

"Eddie. Are you all right?"

Jackie turned when she heard footsteps.

"She's asleep, Jackie," Robert told her.

"Oh. Okay."

"Would you like me to read to you?"

"Don't you want to go to bed?"

"Not yet."

Robert settled in next to his wife and arranged her against him. She woke, but he pushed her head back onto his shoulder. He began to read, and she fell back to sleep almost
instantly. Taking up where Eddie had left off, he got right into the chapter she was sharing from Genesis. It took several minutes for him to see that he'd lost Jackie as well.

"No, I don't want you to," Eddie told her husband, circling the table in his study, keeping it between them. "I will see the doctor."

"But I know all about these things," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Eddie shook her head and tried not to smile. "I want to hear it from him. I don't think I trust you."

Robert barely held his laughter.

"All I'm going to do," he said as he came around the table after her again, "is span your waist with my hands. Then I'll know."

Eddie laughed but did not let him catch her. She countered, "And the next time I need to see someone about cash investments, I should ask my doctor."

Robert really laughed at this one, but Eddie would not hold still. It was so fun to tease him. So fun to see his eyes light with passion for her. Their play might have gone on indefinitely if Jackie hadn't come to the door.

"Eddie?" she called innocently.

Eddie turned to her and Robert sprang.

"Gotcha!" he cried triumphantly.

"Oh!" Eddie let out a loud squeak as Roberts arms came around her from the back and pressed her to his chest.

"Robert Langley," Jackie demanded playfully. "What are you doing to my sister?"

"Well, I'll tell you, Jackie. She comes to me and says she thinks she's pregnant but won't let me near her. Now, isn't that rotten?"

"Oh, Eddie." Jackie came forward, ignoring Roberts question as her outstretched hands searched for her sister. "Where are you?"

"Right here."

Robert allowed Eddie to slip from his grasp so she could hug her sister.

"Come to the sofa," Jackie pulled her. "I want to feel the baby."

"Its too early," Eddie said with a laugh but complied because Jackie wasn't listening. She sat still while the younger girl's hand came to rest gently on her stomach.

"You don't feel pregnant." Her brow was drawn in concentration.

"Not from the outside." There was a smile in Eddies voice. "And I may not be, but if I am its too soon to show."

Robert now came to his wife's other side. He sat down beside her, slipped an arm around her shoulders, and then pressed his lips to her temple and left them there.

"I want a girl," Jackie announced.

"I'll see what I can do." Eddie's voice was dry.

"What if I want a boy?" Robert teased.

"Well," Jackie cocked her head a little. "I guess you had better do what Robert tells you to, Eddie."

She was so serious that husband and wife shared an amused smile.

"Looking forward to Clayton returning tomorrow?" Robert asked. Jackie had made her decision on Tuesday, and this was now Thursday. Both husband and wife watched her blush.

"I think so," she told them, her face serious once again.

"Why do you look so uncertain?"

"Well, I just think he must have better things to do. School starts a week from Monday."

"But he plans to come even after school begins," Eddie said reasonably. "You know, in the evening and such. That doesn't sound like someone who's too busy to come."

Jackie nodded but didn't answer. Her heart had made a complete turnaround in the last two days,
but
that didn't change the fact that she was in love with a man who would never be hers. In light of that, she'd been asking herself if seeing so much of him was a good idea.

But then she remembered the school year. Surely when classes began he wouldn't be able to come very often. The problem would be taken care of on its own. Jackie didn't want to think about why that made her want to cry.

Jackie was alone in the study working over the writing table when Clayton arrived on Friday, and because she was concentrating on moving her hands over the poetry book, she didn't hear him come in. The sound of his voice caused her to jump.

"Hello."

"Oh, Clay, its you," she said on a gasp.

"Yes. You look like you're very busy."

"Well," she faltered, her hands fluttering in embarrassment. "You left the books here, and I thought it would be—"

"Don't apologize. I'm glad you're enjoying them."

"Urn, well, I mean..." She was suddenly tongue-tied. "I know Robert talked to you and all, but if you don't have time to come, Clay, I'll understand." She finished rather lamely, wishing she hadn't brought the subject up at all.

He didn't reply right away. She listened as he brought a chair up to the other side of her writing table. He didn't touch her, but she could tell he was very close.

"I have plenty of time for this, Jackie," he said gently, when he'd settled across from her. "And if I didn't have time, I'd make some."

His voice was so warm that she blushed from the chin up. Clayton watched in amazement. She was like the Jackie from months ago, before the letters they had shared, the one who was so shy around him that she could barely form two sentences.

"Oh, well, all right. If you're certain."

"I am."

"Oh," Jackie said before Clayton could suggest they begin. "There's one other thing, Clay. I'm sorry about the hard time I've given you here, and well, about the letter from a long time ago. I'm ... well ... I'm sorry I lied. I made Lexa write it. I've asked Eddie to write to her and apologize for me."

Clayton's whole body vibrated with the pounding of his heart. Robert had told him about her decision, but to see it up close was an awesome thing. Very carefully, so as not to frighten her, Clayton placed his hand over the top of hers. In so doing, he watched Jackie take a huge breath, and in that instant also learned that she hadn't begun to understand the intensity of his feelings.

"Thank you, Jackie," he managed after a moment. "I assure you it's all behind us. All right?"

"Yes."

"Shall we start?"

She nodded, and he asked her to read to him. He hadn't translated the page she was on, but the poem flowed so beautifully that he knew she had read every word. From there they moved to her writing. She could not see how his suggestion would work, but Clayton had wanted her to give it a try.

"Okay," he said as he bent over her shoulder. "Feel the paper on the table. That's the one you write on. The other piece of paper is set over it."

Jackie sat quietly and felt with her hands.

"Now, just move slowly. Begin to write, using the top paper as your line, and when you get to the edge and want to begin a new line, move the top paper
slightly downward."

"How will I know how far?"

"I'll tell you until you get the feel of it."

"What should I write?"

Clayton thought fast. "Wildflowers. Give me a paragraph on Colorado wildflowers."

"All right."

It was painful going, but Jackie did her best, the pencil feeling foreign in her hand after so long a time. None of her
i's
were dotted in the right place, and the
t's
were crossed in rather odd spots, but other than that it wasn't bad. Letters like
g
or
y
that went below the line of the other paper were cut off, but her attempt was still legible.

"Let me see." Clayton asked for the paper, and Jackie was very aware of the way he stood at her shoulder. "Good; very good. You'll have to dot your
i's
and cross your
t's
as you go, but it looks good. How did it feel?"

"A little strange. I wish I could feel the words."

"You'll be able to," Clayton told her. "After you get this down, I'm going to teach you to take notes. You'll dot out the words when someone speaks or you want to make a list and later be able to read it back to yourself. It won't mean anything to someone who can't read Braille, but its handy for your own information.

"Now," Clayton said as he moved away from her. "I think you're doing well in all your subjects, so why don't you tell me what you'd like to work on today."

Jackie bit her lip. She knew what she wanted but was a little afraid to ask.

"No ideas?" Clayton prompted.

"Well," she began, but didn't go on.

"I'll make some suggestions, shall I? We could go over math facts or work on the writing some more. You could memorize a poem from the book and recite it to me. We haven't done much with geography, so I could get out a map. I could read to you or—"

"That one," Jackie cut in.