Where Petals Fall (22 page)

Junie awoke in a full-blown panic. Sweat poured feverishly down her forehead.

“Junie? Are you okay?”

She blinked, bringing Brian into focus.
Brian
. She used the heels of her feet for traction as she scooched toward the headboard—away from Brian, and then turned her face away from his reach.

“What’s wrong with you?” Brian asked, backing away from the bed. “June, it’s me, Brian.”

“I…I know who you are.” She caught sight of herself in the bedroom mirror—her hair stuck out in tangled knots, and her cheeks were marked with dirt. She looked at her hands, also covered in dirt, mud packed tight under her nails. “Where’s Sarah?” She looked frantically around the room.

“With my father.”

“Peter? He’s here?” She pulled the blanket up to her chest.

“He got here about an hour ago. He said you were supposed to meet him, and when you didn’t, he got worried and came over.”

Junie watched Brian swallow hard, then close his eyes.

“Junie, we need to talk.”

“Not now,” she said. She was not up for any more drama. “I need to get cleaned up.”

“Can’t that wait? I have something that I need to tell you.”

Junie was so confused. She wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say. She needed to know what she was dealing with first, make sure Sarah was safe. Make sure
she
was safe. Her life had turned inside out. “Can you call my mom?”

“Your mom? Are you sick? Do you need me to take you to the doctor?” Brian moved closer to her—she flinched, pulled away.

“I’m…not feeling well, and I just want her here. Is that too much to ask?” Her voice escalated and trembled.

“Junie, I just want to talk to you.”

Junie sat up straight on the bed. “Brian, not now. I’m in no shape to talk about anything.”
I don’t know who you are.

Brian reached for her cell phone, dialed Ruth’s number, and handed the phone to Junie.

She watched him walk out the bedroom door and waited for the door to close before she spoke.

“Mom?” she said quietly. “I think I’m in trouble. I need to talk to you.”

“June? What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

Junie laid all of her memories out for Ruth. She told her that she wasn’t sure, but she thought Brian might have hurt Ellen.

Ruth was silent for a moment. Junie waited, twisting the blanket around her finger.

“Honey, I want you to know that I hear you. I understand what you are saying, and I can hear how serious you are. I’m taking what you are telling me very seriously.”

“But?”

“But I know Brian. I’ve known him since he was a toddler. He couldn’t have hurt Ellen. Besides, how could a fourteen-year-old make a little girl disappear? It just doesn’t make any sense.”

Junie bit her lip, thinking about what her mother said. “That’s seems right, but what about my memories?”

“Oh, Junie, look at what you thought about your father, and you were way off base, right? You can’t throw your marriage away. Brian adores you. If you want to know what I think, I think you are flat-out exhausted. You haven’t slept in months. Your heart is ripped out day in and day out because you don’t know what’s going on with Sarah, and for some reason, your brain is twisting things around.”

“Do you really think so? I mean, I am so tired I can barely see straight, and I feel so useless as a mother.” She struggled to get words out around her tears. “I…I can’t even help my daughter figure out why she’s doing all these weird things.” Junie wept. “Mom, do you think I’m a terrible mother? I mean, is Sarah trying to be a baby because it was easier for her then than it is now? Was I nicer then? Did I give her more attention when she was a baby?” She wiped tears from her cheeks, feeling like a complete failure and hoping her mother would say something, anything, to make her feel better.

“June Marie, take a deep breath. You are an excellent mother.” Ruth spoke as if she were giving a directive, then asked, “Did I ever tell you about your fourth-grade graduation?”

“No,” Junie said, already feeling a little better. She hadn’t realized how much the rifts that had occurred, first with Brian, then with her mother, had drained her. Sarah’s regression had also been slowly sucking the life out of her, and her suspicions about Brian had her tied in knots. Losing her father had kicked off a tornado of memories, and when the hurt and confusion of the mess that had become her life intersected, she was sucked into the eye of the storm. Her mother’s voice, her mother’s confidence in Junie’s mothering skills, was the life vest she needed.

“Well, I missed it. I had a flat tire on the way to the grocery store, and back then, there were no cell phones, so I walked two miles to the gas station, then had to wait for the guy to drive me to my car. It was just a nightmare. Anyway, by the time I got home, I was in no mood to be around anyone, so your dad took you.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“No, I don’t suppose you would. You were busy with your friends and giddy over the trip to the ice cream store afterward. I tormented myself for weeks. Every time a friend would bring up graduation, I’d feel sick, guilty beyond belief. But you.” Ruth laughed. “One day you told me that you were glad that I didn’t come to your graduation.”

“Oh, that’s really nice. Sorry, Mom.”

“No, you didn’t say it meanly. You said that all the other mothers were so plain that I would have made them feel bad.”

Junie smiled. “I said that?”

“Yes, my dear, you did, and please don’t tell me that you didn’t mean it. That one comment pulled me through your teen years.” She laughed.

“You always make me feel better.”

“I always tell you the truth. You make yourself feel better,” Ruth answered.

“Maybe you’re right about Brian, but there’s one thing that doesn’t make sense, and it’s driving me insane. Remember Katie? She called me after I went to see her, and she told me that I left her house that afternoon, that I went after Ellen, and that when I came back, we made some sort of a pact not to tell something. She said I should ask Brian what she was talking about.”

“Junie, Katie Frank is a little snark. Don’t you remember how jealous she was of you and Ellen?”

“Mom, I feel like I must have floated through my younger years without a care in the world. I don’t remember jack shi—” Junie cleared her throat. “I don’t remember anything.”

“Well, I wouldn’t worry yourself any about Kate. She probably never got over the fact that Brian married you. She had a thing for him.
Whew!
If young girls only knew how foolish they looked when they were in that hormonal stage. She used to walk up and down our block in those hot pants of hers. I can’t believe you don’t remember. Up and back, up and back, just trying to get Brian’s attention.”

“Nope, nada. I don’t think Brian and I even spoke much after Ellen disappeared until after college.”

“Yes, you’re right there. He sort of boxed himself off from everyone.” Ruth made a
tsk
sound. “It must have been grueling for him, to lose a sister like that.”

Junie closed her eyes against a wave of guilt. “I’m so glad I have you, Mom, and I’m so sorry that I’ve been too wrapped up in my own crap to help you when you need it most.”

“You’re fine, Junie. Since you were a little girl, you could get wrapped up in things and think you had them all figured out. You…you like chaos, I think. Or maybe you like mysteries. I don’t know what it is, but give yourself a little break. You’ve let your imagination get the best of you. I love you, and you know what? I’m just fine. I hug your father’s pillow at night, and I talk to him like he’s still there, but I’m a tough old bird. I’ll get through it.”

After she hung up the phone, Junie lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing she could be more like her mother: always in control, the right answer perched on the tip of her tongue.

Brian knocked at the door, then opened it a crack. “Is it safe to come in?”

“Yeah.” Junie sat up and decided to trust her mother’s judgment above her own. Ruth seemed the more rational of the two. “I’ve been thinking, maybe we should take that trip.”

Brian’s eyes sparkled. “Really?” His smile sank into his most serious look. “Junie, my dad wants to talk to you. I have something—”

Junie swatted the air dismissively. “Whatever is between you and your dad is between you and your dad. Can you please tell him thank you for coming, but that I’m too tired to talk right now? I’ll catch up with him when we get back.”

“Are you sure?” Brian sat on the edge of the bed.

Junie nodded and Brian wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest. A rush of anxiety swirled through her. She closed her eyes against it. She was determined to have a few good days. They deserved that.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Junie was able to relax. She sat in a rocking chair on the front porch of the rustic cabin overlooking the lake. Sarah was busy digging holes near the water’s edge, and Junie made a conscious decision not to worry about
why
Sarah was digging. Thankfully, Sarah had gone without an accident since the evening before.

The whir of Brian’s cast broke through the peaceful silence. It was a comforting sound, coming from the edge of the dock where he stood. He wore a pair of jeans and an open flannel shirt over a dark T-shirt. Junie watched him with interest. Her eyes followed the line of his back to the curve of his rear.
Not bad
, she thought, and realized how much she missed him. How much she missed
them
. Life had become such a cacophony of issues that their time together, the closeness that they’d once shared—the secret smiles, stolen kisses, and late nights spent making love—had been replaced with angst and worry and a distance that had become almost too vast to bridge.

Junie sauntered down to the dock, kissing Sarah on the top of her head as she passed.

Brian’s fishing rod arced as she approached, and Brian let out a shout of surprise. He arched his back, drawing the rod toward him.

“Wow, you got it. You got it!” Junie squealed. “Sarah, come see Daddy’s fish!”

Sarah lifted her head in Junie’s direction.

“Come on. Come on,” Junie urged.

Sarah walked slowly toward them. When she reached the edge of the dock, she stopped.

“Come on!” Junie waved her up.

Sarah moved slowly toward them, her eyes locked on the fish.

Brian lifted the fish out of the water and lowered it onto the dock. “Whoa, it’s a beauty! Look at that pike. Sarah, come here.” Brian grabbed a pair of needle-nose pliers from the tackle box. He stepped on the tail of the fish with the toe of his left sneaker, latched the pliers on to the end of the hook, and wiggled and pulled until the hook tore free. Drops of blood splattered onto the deck. “Dinner!”

Sarah screamed, a guttural, terrified scream that echoed in the mountains. She grabbed the sides of her head, her face beet red.

Brian whipped his head up, his arms following. The hook caught in the webbing between his index finger and thumb.

Junie ran to Sarah’s side. “It’s okay. It’s all right, Sarah.” She tried to wrap her arms around her. Sarah pushed her away, stumbling backward on the wooden decking and falling into the deep water.  “Sarah!” Junie watched in horror as her daughter’s arms flailed in that second before she broke the water and shot beneath the surface. Junie reached for her arm and missed.

In that split second, when disbelief met with panic, Junie thought her heart might stop. Sarah disappeared into the murky water. The world spun around Junie; darkness pushed at the edges of her vision. The hook was lodged in Brian’s hand, tethering him to the fishing pole. He tore at the fishing line, trying to break free. “Jump, Junie. Get her!” he commanded.

Junie was paralyzed with fear. Ellen fell backward.
Ellen
.
Ellen
echoed in her head.

“Go!” Brian commanded. “Now!”

Brian’s voice called her back to the present. She jumped off the edge of the dock into the icy cold water. She dove under, looking for Sarah. The water was too deep, too murky to see. She popped back up to the top, gasping for air, dog-paddling to the best of her ability. The image of Ellen’s lifeless body seared into her mind. She gasped, falling under the water, then popped back up again. Brian ripped the hook free and dove into the water.

Junie went under again, searching for Sarah. It was Ellen’s face she saw beneath the water.  She opened her mouth.
Ellen
, she said. Her lungs filled with water.
Ellen, Ellen
.

Brian came to the top of the water, holding Sarah under his arm. He lifted her to the dock, scrambling up next to her.

Junie thrashed wildly, her head bobbing in and out of the water. She coughed and choked.

Brian lay Sarah on her left side; water dribbled from her mouth. She coughed up water, sobbing between gasps. Brian dove back into the water, fishing around for Junie. Junie’s body convulsed, then went limp.
Ellen.
She felt her body being pulled out of the water, felt her chest heave with a giant cough. She choked, pulling herself onto her hands and knees and throwing up what felt like gallons of water.

Brian rushed to Sarah’s side.

Junie fell to her stomach, panting and coughing, reaching for her daughter’s hand.

“She’s breathing. She’s okay,” Brian said. Tears streamed down his cheeks. “Holy shit,” he said, looking up toward the sky.

That evening, Ellen’s body floated through Junie’s dreams, her eyes staring blankly up toward the sky, her arms dangling from her sides. Flashes of Brian interrupted the gruesome scene; his arms above his head, giant rock in hand.

Morning found Junie sitting up in bed, the covers pulled up to her chin. She inched away from Brian, clutching the blanket to her chest.  Her heart throbbed against her ribs, set off by her mounting fear. The hero shine from yesterday that had made Junie look at Brian with new, schoolgirl-crush eyes had been washed away with her dreams, exposing a dangerous stranger that lay beneath.

Junie thought of his behavior of late. Brian had been like Jekyll and Hyde. Her mind traveled down dark paths, back to the images she’d seen when Sarah fell into the water, her dreams from the night before. Was he playing her to get her and Sarah alone in the remote cabin? Had she been swayed too far by her mother’s advice? Junie’s heart raced. She had to get out of there. She slipped from the bed and rushed through her shower.

In the kitchen, Junie made coffee and tried to think up an excuse to go home. She couldn’t say that Sarah had an appointment with Theresa. It was Saturday. Maybe she could use Bliss as an excuse. No, Brian knew it was rare that there was an emergency that Shane couldn’t handle. Shane. She could call Shane and have him show up to protect them. She nixed that as just plain stupid. Shane was no match for Brian.

Sarah walked into the kitchen, blanket dragging on the floor behind her.

Sarah
. Junie would be damned if she’d let anything happen to Sarah. She scanned her daughter’s clothing, silently hoping that she hadn’t had an accident. She was dry.
Dry
. Sarah was doing better—and her mother was falling apart.

Brian sauntered into the living room and kissed Sarah on the head.

The hair on the back of Junie’s neck stood up. She couldn’t look at Brian without seeing him as an angry teenager, a giant rock held high above his head—aiming at Ellen. She felt Brian looming behind her.

He put his arm around her lower back and whispered, “Can we talk?”

Junie stiffened, swallowed hard. The last thing Sarah needed was to see an argument between her parents. Junie closed her eyes against her thoughts.
You hurt Ellen!
“Sure.”

He took her hand and led her onto the porch. Junie looked at the landscape that was so beautiful just twenty-four hours earlier. Now, as she gazed at the lake and the backdrop of the mountains, she saw places that a body could disappear. Was Ellen’s body there somewhere, decaying in a shallow grave or eaten by fish in the same deep lake that Sarah fell into? A shiver ran up her spine.

No, he saved us yesterday
. If he had intended to hurt her and Sarah, he’d have let them drown, she reasoned—unless he wanted to torture them.
Oh God
.

“I think we should go home.” Junie’s words came fast. “Sarah should see a doctor after yesterday, and I’m not feeling great, either.”

“Really?” He wrinkled his forehead. “She seems fine to me. She didn’t even have an accident. I think she’s okay.”

Damn it
. Junie bit her lower lip, trying to figure out how to get home.

“Besides”—he reached for her hand—“there’s some stuff we need to talk about.”

Junie withdrew her hand.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“No—” She stood up and opened the door. “We can’t leave Sarah.”

Brian jumped up from his chair. “Junie, I just meant down to the lake. We’ll be gone for five minutes. If she comes outside, she can see us.”

Junie walked into the cabin. The screen door bumped against her butt. “I need to make breakfast.” Junie wasn’t taking any chances. She would pack their things and get home.

While Brian showered, Junie packed their belongings and threw the suitcase in the car. Brian was coming out from the bedroom when she came back into the cabin. He stood between her and the small kitchen, his face a mask of seriousness.

“Junie, we really need to talk before we go back.”

She knew he was angry. His shoulders rode high, and the veins in his arms stood out. “We can talk in the car,” she offered, then walked around him and grabbed the trash from the morning’s breakfast.

“June.” He glanced at Sarah and raised his eyebrows.

She ignored him and went outside to the dumpster at the end of the driveway. She lifted the lid, a sickening ache tearing through her stomach.
Ellen
. Had he gotten rid of her this easily? She closed her eyes and thought of her mother and father, the way Ruth would pull back her shoulders, gathering strength, and her father’s simple and steady confidence in her. Junie’s shoulders drew back. She could do this.

They rode home in silence. Junie watched the muscles in Brian’s jaw clench. She didn’t care how angry he was. She wasn’t letting anything happen to Sarah. She’d be damned if she’d just disappear like Ellen did.

She glanced in the backseat, where Sarah watched a movie. When they got home, she’d take Sarah and go straight to her mother’s house. There, she could call Theresa and figure out what was going on. One more hypnosis regression and maybe she’d understand the whole picture.

New panic swelled within her chest. She pushed herself against the passenger side door. Was she living with a killer? Suddenly the late nights took on   whole new possibility. Had other women gone missing over the years? The prospect of her husband’s dark side solidified in her confused and terrified mind.

Brain looked over and smiled. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.”

She couldn’t speak.

“We can talk when we get home,” he said.

She glanced over her shoulder at Sarah, mentally planning how they would escape. She didn’t even need to pack anything. They had enough in the car. When he went inside, they’d remain in the car and just leave. Satisfied with her plan, she turned her back toward Brian and gazed out the window. He helped criminals. He was a criminal. How could she have been so blind?