Where Love Grows (30 page)

“I haven't told her anything. I'm sure she wouldn't understand.”

“Sometimes I don't understand myself.” Susan loaded her arms with pies. Teresa grabbed the casserole from under the quilt, and they made their way to the house, leaving the horse standing in the driveway with the reins hanging loose.

Ada met them at the door and ushered them into the kitchen. Susan and Teresa squeezed through the crowd of women and deposited the food on the counter. When they returned to the buggy, one of the young nephews was standing by the horse's head and holding the reins.

“Thank you, Jonas,” Susan said. “Toby usually stays in place, but you never know with all this racket going on.”

“It's noisy,” Jonas agreed. “And
Daett
had his horse run out to the barn last week. I didn't want you to wreck your buggy.”

“Did your
daett
's horse harm anything?”

Jonas shook his head. “We caught him pretty quick.”

“This was thoughtful of you. Do you want to lead the horse out to the fence after we've unloaded everything?”

“
Yah
!” Jonas's face was shining. “I've done that before for
Mamm.
”

While Jonas waited, Susan and Teresa took the last of the food out of the buggy. With their arms full, they watched for a moment as Jonas left, leading the horse with the buggy bouncing over the rough field beyond the lane.

“Do you think he'll be okay?” Teresa asked. “He's so young.”

“Our boys grow up fast,” Susan said, turning to lead the way into the kitchen where they set the rest of the pies on the counter.

Ada had followed them into the kitchen. She now ordered, “Okay, out you go! You've worked hard all morning. Go out and watch what the men are doing.”

Susan stood her ground. “I want to help where I can.”

Teresa pulled on her arm, and after a moment Susan gave in. The two walked out to the porch. Spending time with the community women felt
gut
, Susan thought. Even if
Mamm
and
Daett
were shut away at home. That was a terrible feeling to have—and selfish no doubt. But there it was.

Ada had followed them and now whispered in Susan's ear, “Did
Mamm
make any of the food?”

“No, I made sure of that.”

“Just checking. It's just that I noticed you brought the same amount
Mamm
usually brings.”

“That's what I tried to do,” Susan said. “But I worked hard, and I made the food myself.”

“Okay, I believe you. I had to ask in case someone asks me.”

“Come.” Teresa pulled on Susan's arm again when Ada was gone. “Let's go watch the men work. I want to see James working on the barn.”

Susan took in deep breaths of the fresh air, allowing the tension and guilt to flow from her body. Perhaps this good weather was
Da Hah
's way of saying He had everything under control. Well, it was
gut
that someone did. She really needed to spend more of her days outside, perhaps helping Steve and
Daett
around the farm. But that would be difficult to manage now with
Mamm
unable to help with the normal household chores.

Teresa was pulling on her arm again. “Let's go see if we can find James.”

“
Daett
may invite Donald for Thanksgiving dinner,” Susan said, as they came to a stop near where the other girls were standing. All of them were watching the swarming group of men pull the timbers up for the roof of the barn.

“Really? May James and I come too?”

“Of course you can. Thanksgiving wouldn't be Thanksgiving this year without you.”

“I'll bring pies…if you trust me with them,” Teresa said. Then she pointed and said, “There's James. Clear up on the top.”

“Are you sure? How can you tell?”

“Now what woman couldn't pick out her husband?”

Susan laughed. “This is like trying to find the right buggy at the Sunday night hymn singings when it's pitch black.”

Teresa glanced sideways at Susan. “So tell me about Steve taking you to the hymn singing and bringing you home again. Is there something I should know?”

“No, there isn't, Teresa.”

Teresa didn't look convinced. “Like I'm not going to notice? You walked out of the house right in front of me.”

“There's
nothing
, Teresa, really. Steve felt sorry for me and offered. He dropped me off in front of the house when we got home.”

“Maybe he's taking it slow.”

“Or maybe he doesn't care about me in that way. Lots of people are feeling sorry for us right now.”

“I don't believe you.” Teresa didn't wait for an answer before she began waving, hollering, “That
is
James.” The figure on top of the barn beam studied her for a moment and then waved back.

“He's still looking at you.” Susan said, moments later.

“What if that wasn't James?” Teresa giggled. “He'll never figure out who was waving at him. He'll probably think it was his long-desired sweetheart admiring his climbing abilities.”

“They can climb, that's for sure. I think they like to show off on a day like this.”

“Something like that,” Teresa agreed.

The two stood watching the long center rafters being pushed up. The pieces would dangle for a moment in mid-air, followed by a loud shout from someone below before a final push completed the effort.

As the morning wore on, Susan and Teresa mingled among the girls, talking and chatting. Eventually, close to one o'clock, Ada hollered behind them, “Lunch! Would someone tell Reuben?”

Two of the smaller boys took off running, their pant legs a blur as they raced each other. Susan watched them go. How full of life the young were and bursting with energy. Of course she was still young, wasn't she?
Yah
, Susan told herself with a firm set of her chin. And she would remain so now and for always.

“Let's go help get lunch out.” Susan nudged Teresa. Teresa nodded but lingered for a moment, taking one last look toward the new barn. She turned and caught up with Susan. Several of the women were pulling the long benches from the church wagon, so they stopped to help. Before long the yard was full of set-up tables, and the women brought the hot food from the house.

The men lined up at the makeshift water basin by the water pump, throwing their hats on a growing pile beside the bench wagon. They splashed water on their faces and scrubbed down with soap before they flopped down on the grass under the shade trees.

Reuben hollered for another washbasin and started a new line when it arrived. The men jostled each other playfully, pulling the occasional hat off the head of the owner who hadn't yet added his to the growing pile. The hat usually went sailing across the lawn, producing a chase by the younger boys, who then returned it, usually receiving a pat of thanks on the head from the grateful owner.

Several of the teenage boys gave chase themselves, apparently not high on preserving their dignity in front of the girls. Or perhaps preserving it by not accepting the offered help from the younger ones.

Susan couldn't imagine Steve chasing his own hat. He was keeping a close eye out while he approached the line. He kept his hat on his head until he arrived at the bench wagon. Thomas, on the other hand, lost his and chose to stand there until it came back. Susan looked away. She no longer cared to think about Thomas. Wilma could take care of that problem.

When the last man was through the line, Bishop Henry called out, “Let's pray and thank
Da Hah
.”

They bowed their heads, the women on one side, standing behind the steaming array of food. The men on the other, grouped together in a half circle.

“And now, O God of heaven and earth,” Bishop Henry prayed, “we pause to give You thanks for this day, for those who have gathered here to lend a helping hand. Grant that Your most gracious protection continue over us, keeping us safe from harm and from the dangers of body and soul. We give You thanks for this food and for those who have prepared it. Bless their hearts and hands. In Your great name, we pray. Amen.”

The teenaged boys elbowed each other but stayed in line behind their elders. Bishop Henry led the way past the steaming food. Susan watched the men move along the tables, heaping their plates high. These were her people, she thought. And they were also
Mamm
and
Daett
's people. None of the men were asking anything of
Daett
they wouldn't be willing to go through themselves in a similar situation. She had to grant them that. Somehow thinking such thoughts helped quell the bitterness rising up inside her.

Plus she was still young, and they were old. Sometimes the young had to trust the wisdom of age, did they not? Bishop Henry said so all the time. But here the question was real, a test in actual living. Did the older people know things the younger ones didn't? Susan looked away from the benches full of men with their plates on their laps. Somehow she had to believe they did. Perhaps not in matters of book learning, where the
Englisha
thought wisdom was hidden. But in matters of living,
yah
. They had been through things she couldn't imagine. Many of them had experienced the deaths of parents or the loss of young children.

Beyond the suffering, they had lived life in joyous celebration of the love they believed in. The love for the land. The love for their life companions. The love for their children. The love for the traditions handed down to them for more than 500 years. And above all, their fervent love for
Da Hah
. Did not that count for something?

Teresa pulled at her elbow. “Get in line with me. The boys are moving through.”

“I'm not married,” Susan protested. “The girls aren't going through yet.”

“Then perhaps today you can pretend,” Teresa said, her voice teasing.

Susan gave in, falling in line with the young married women. No one looked at her strangely. They probably knew this was Teresa's doing. And
Mamm
and
Daett
weren't here, so everyone would go out of their way to make things easier for her.

Susan and Teresa took their plates to the front porch and sat on the benches that had been set up. Over at the young married men's table someone must have been telling a hilarious joke because laughter was rising in a roar.

“Sounds like someone still has plenty of energy left,” Teresa commented.

“I'm sure the foremen are watching and remembering for the work this afternoon,” Susan said.

“I have to tell you something,” Teresa leaned over to whisper.

“
Yah
?” Susan waited.

“Mom's seeing someone in town.”

“Your
mamm
?”

Teresa smiled in glee. “Someone she met at the bookstore. I haven't met him yet, but Mom claims he's a
gut
Christian.”

“But she can't possibly know him very well so soon.”

Teresa shrugged. “Mom's a wise woman.”

“Then she's staying around. At least that's
gut
news.”

Teresa took a drink of her lemonade. “Honestly, I can't believe how blessed I am. Samuel has a
daett
. I have a husband. And now mom is living near here and making friends.”

“I'm so happy for you. And I can take any
gut
news there is right now, believe me.”

“It will happen to you. I know it will,” Teresa said. “And now, I'd better check on Samuel. I left him with all those babies upstairs.”

“Give him a kiss for me,” Susan said as Teresa disappeared into the house.

In front of her, the men were stretching out on the lawn, their hats pulled over their eyes. Some of them looked sound asleep. Soon they would be hard at work again, and the women would have a chance to catch their breath. By nightfall the barn would be completed. Not that unusual a thing really. It happened because they all worked together. Here there was hard work, but there was also great joy. If she could endure her own pain, this would all be over before long.
Mamm
and
Daett
's time of trial would be completed. And when the Sunday after communion came she would make the big choice. She would join the instruction class, taking the first step toward her baptismal vows.

Today was a strange day to decide such a thing, Susan figured. But she had decided, strange day or not. And she would not be changing her mind this time. Not because of Thomas or anyone else. Not if she had to live as an old maid all her life. The time had come to join the community in a real way. The road now lay before her, clear and open.

Mamm
and
Daett
would be so happy. Even with their aching hearts they would urge her on the way. That was the way life was supposed to be here in the community. Lived together in pain, in sickness, in health, and in joy. It was time she became one with them. It was high past time.