Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (9 page)

My heart was beating so hard I could hear it
drumming in my ears as I trembled in his arms and waited for his lips to reach mine.

He pulled me onto his lap as his hands pulled my hair loose so he could run his fingers gentle through it, making even my scalp tingle from his touch. His lips on mine were infinitely gentle as they touched mine and then growing bolder his mouth opened and mine matched his as our tongues explored and my whole being was rocked by the new sensations that were coursing through my body. I pushed James away and he pulled back “What’s wrong?” he asked, “I need to breathe” I managed as I finally opened my eyes “Am I doing it right?” I asked “I’ve never kissed anyone this way before” I finished, as we leaned back against the headboard “You’re doing fine, but we can practise some more if you like?” As he inclined his head towards me and our lips met again. All too soon the album came to an end and I untangled myself to turn it over and we spent the rest of the afternoon just lying together on the bed, talking and of course kissing, all the time in my mind I was just thinking ‘he’s my boyfriend, he’s my boyfriend, this gorgeous, handsome guy is my boy friend’ I was in shock.

When we headed downstairs for dinner I wondered if Mum and Dad would notice anything different about me, as I was sure that I was positively glowing but if they did they didn’t comment. James then had to head over to Chris’ place but as we lingered on the doorstep saying a final goodbye until tomorrow afternoon I knew that I didn’t really want him to go and I felt sure that James felt the same as he held me tightly in his arms and kissed me one last time “Until tomorrow, Steph” he whispered as he walked to his car and then drove away.

Charlotte rubbed her eyes, her Mum definitely had a way with words as it felt as through she was feeling the same emotions that her Mum had felt all those years ago. She had hit the nail on the head, as Charlotte remembered the feelings of elation when Craig had asked her out and also the scary feelings of their first kiss six months ago. It felt like an age now that they had finished. Putting aside the book, she turned the light out and fell asleep, dreaming of a mysterious man who would change her world the way James had done for her Mum.

Chapter 11

While
Charlotte was at school on Monday I headed back up to the loft to search for the letters, that I was certain I had kept, but I came down empty handed. My pink photo album has also mysteriously disappeared so I guessed that perhaps my daughter had found them when she had been up here the other day. Anyway, I was way past mooning over my first boyfriend, especially when I remembered how it had ended all those years ago. I wondered if James still thought of me, but dismissed that idea…after all it was he that had ended it and broken my heart.

Charlotte came racing in through the door later that evening, as she had been at her dance class, full of excitement.

“Mum can I go to
Birmingham this weekend?”

“Well if you explain why you need to go then perhaps I can answer that”

“Our dance troop have been picked for that competition I was telling you about. They are at the LG arena in Birmingham, there’s a minibus going so you’ll just need to do me a packed lunch and make sure I don’t miss the bus as it leaves at 7am”

“Yes, sounds great” I rep
lied, knowing how much Charlotte enjoyed her class and also realising that she was actually really good too.

They both liked to watch all the dance programmes on the television together it was their favourite girly time, generally curled up on the sofa and ea
ting popcorn or crisps.

“Going to go and practice s
ome more straight away” Charlotte said, glad that she had my approval.

Up in her room Charlotte turned the music on and did half an hour and then decided to check out the Internet site for the competition and see who their rivals were going to be. Watching the small video clips of some of the other groups, Charlotte knew it was going to be hard to get through with that much talent. Then after tea and homework Charlotte reached for the diary, eager to see how the next few days went with her Mum and James now they were a couple.

Monday 15
th
February, 1988

I woke up early and immediately gave Sarah a ring

“Hi Sarah, you’ll never believe what happened yesterday” I said

“I’m not even going to try as I hope you’ll tell me” Sarah replied

“James turned up in his new car and he’s staying with Chris until Tuesday and we’re all going swimming later” I said
, stopping to take a breath.

“Ok, I think I’d better come over to your place then to get ready” she said

“Definitely as I have even more exciting news but I’ll tell you when you get here” I finished. Sarah soon arrived at my place and when we got to my room she stopped to look at me

“You look different some how” she said

“That’s because I now have a boyfriend” I replied. We fell into each other’s arms and squealed in excitement before falling back onto my bed.

The bed where the previous afternoon I had spent hours kissing James, I hoped that there would be many more hours like that to come, preferably before he went back home on Tuesday evening.

Our visit to the pool was great fun, just like old days, except that James kept motioning to me to go under the water so he could kiss me without getting told off. Sarah and Chris just laughed at us both and I could see that Sarah kept shyly looking at him when he was not looking. As I was so happy I hoped that perhaps Sarah could find the same with Chris.
We had coffee upstairs in the café afterwards and then James asked if he could walk me home as he had left his car parked at Chris’ place. The four of us set out as Sarah’s place was the first we got too and then Chris said goodbye and playfully punched James on the arm and told him not to stay out too late!!

Then it was just the two of us, this time I didn’t hesitate in putting my hand in his as he squeezed it tightly in his. I let us both in and made Hot Chocolate before I let my parents know we were going upstairs for a while. It took so much self control for me to actually put some music on before I found myself stretched out on the bed kissing James.

“
I don’t want to rush things” he murmured between kisses “so you must tell me what you are happy with and we will stick to those limits, after all you are still only sixteen”

I agreed as we kissed and talked before he finally went
back to Chris’ around midnight. Lingering on the doorstep I could still feel the heat of his lips on mine. As I headed back upstairs I wondered where we would be going tomorrow.

Tuesday 16
th
February, 1988.

I woke up early so I had plenty of time to get ready, James had not told me what we would be doing but he did say to wear something warm and sensible as it would involve being outside for part of the time. James arrived early and we had a quick coffee before he whisked me out to his car. “Are we going far?” I asked as we were heading out of town.

“N
o not far” he replied as we headed towards the Forest of Dean and eventually we stopped outside a bike hire centre.

“
We are going to cycle round the ponds and then when we get back I have a small picnic in the boot, so if it stays dry we’ll eat outside, but if not then we will eat in the car” James said.

The scenery was spectacular,

“My Dad used to bring me here when I was a kid, normally on a Sunday to get us out of the way of Mum cooking Sunday lunch” James said.

“It’s beautiful
” I breathed. It obviously held a special place in James’ memories, so I was pleased that he had felt he could share it with me. I struggled to keep up with James on some of the uphill parts, but he was always there waiting for me. At the bridge over the weir we stopped and leaned the bikes against a nearby tree.

“Have you ever played Pooh sticks” I asked James
.

“I can’t say I have even heard of it but go on and explain. I’m all ears” he said, leaning against the railings of the bridge.

Quickly I found two sticks that were about the same size and handed one to James.

“It’s from the Winnie the Pooh books and the aim is to drop the sticks over the edge of the bridge and see whose stick reaches the bottom of the weir first” I explained.

“And what’s the prize for the winner” he asked. I paused as if to think about it before I answered

“Loser kisses the winner”

James grinned as he held his stick over the edge of the railings before we both dropped them into the water and watched to see whose would reach the bottom first. It was a dead heat as James pulled me close and our lips touched in a kiss.

“I don’t want today to ever end” I said, as we headed back to the car
.

“I don’t either, but I promise you there will be many more days like this”

Although it was cold we managed to sit on the bench and eat the picnic that James had bought. Then he pulled me close and we looked out across the lake that seemed to stretch into infinity and the trees beyond. The weak sunlight touched the ripples at the shore as I felt my own ripples of emotion spreading out within me. In James’ arms I felt happy, content and completely and utterly in love with him.

Back at my place he stayed for an hour but then wanted to get back before it was too late, as he said his Mum and Dad were sure to worry about him.

I stood on the doorstep watching him wave as he drove away, tears already forming beneath my eyelids, ready to fall in the privacy of my room. I lay on my duvet and re-lived every single moment, every touch of his lips, every word he said, everything we did and hoped it would not be long before I saw him again.

Wednesday 17
th
February, 1988.

Nothing much to write about today, everything feels just dull and flat. Did my course work and some revision and then lay on the bed and wrote my next letter to James thanking him for the last few days. I posted it straight away.

Saturday 20
th
February, 1988.

I think our letters must have crossed over in the post as I hurried to open his latest one to me.

             
“Dear Steph,

This Valentine day has been the best one I have ever had, thank you again for my model kit it is already assembled and sitting next to the elephant on the shelf. I am so happy that you are now my girlfriend, as soon as I had left
Ross to move I realised how much I missed seeing you at the pool. I am glad you had the courage to tell me that you felt the same too and I am sure that we can make this long distance relationship work if we both try.

I promise that I will not try and rush things but I will admit that I am looking forward to your birthday in March as I am planning something very special already.

Keep your letters coming they really brighten my day and perhaps we can call each other on the phone every Friday evening if that will be ok with your parents? I have to let you know that my folks are really looking forward to meeting you at some point soon and I would love to show you around Leamington Spa and Warwick.

Fondest regards

James”

I asked Mum and Dad if this was ok and then replied to James, asking who would phone first, as I counted down the days until Friday evening.

Friday 26
th
February, 1988

I sat in the lounge with my parents and waited for the phone to ring, sure enough at seven it did and I answered it to hear James’ voice.

“Hi Steph” he said, and in that instance of hearing his voice I felt my heart yearn for him.

“Hi James, how are you” I asked.

“Missing you” he replied

“Me too” I sighed, cradling the receiver as if it were his hand in mine.

We chatted for half an hour and then rang off so I could phone him back.

“So will it be ok for you to come and stay at my place for your birthday” James asked. I quickly asked them and they said yes as long as your parents will be there.

“Yes they will be here
, they are looking forward to meeting you” he said. It felt good to have something to look forward to as well as our letters and phone calls. Upstairs in my room I started to mark the days off on my wall calendar.

Friday 4
th
March, 1988

My parents have installed a phone in my room for me so it was much better when seven came round and it was my turn to call James. He was amazed as he still had to sit on the stairs in the hallway at his place and put up with his parents passing by and making comments which I couldn’t hear but kept making James laugh and tell them to go away. It sounded like he had a good relationship with them both and I couldn’t wait to meet them the following Friday.

Tuesday 8
th
March, 1988

Grabbing Sarah after school we made our apologies to June and Amanda and headed through town to the Doctors Surgery. Sitting in the waiting room I chewed my nails

“Are you nervous” Sarah asked me.

“Yes, what if they won’t give me any pills” I replied.

“I’m sure they will, after all they would rather you are protected that pregnant” Sarah said. I kept looking around the waiting room every time someone else arrived; I hoped that no one my parents knew would see me there. Then they called my name and I headed into the room to see the Doctor.

Clutching my prescription Sarah and I headed home.

“Was it ok” she asked.

“Yes I was a bit embarrassed but unfortunately they won’t start working for a month anyway” I replied.

“So do you think you might” she asked, curiously.

“Not yet, and I don’t think James will push me this quickly” I replied. In my mind I knew that I was definitely not ready to take the next step yet. In fact I worried that I might never be ready as all I knew about sex was the factual biology lessons and what I had seen on films or read in books.

“Do you think he’s had sex before” Sarah asked.

“I’m sure he must of, we haven’t really talked about that much yet. I’m just enjoying all the kissing” I replied.

“Are you still ok to come round after school tomorrow” I asked, as we stood on the corner.

“Yes” she replied, before we said goodbye.

Thursday 10
th
March, 1988

After school we walked home with June and Amanda before we headed our separate ways and Sarah continued to mine to help me pack my bag and stay for tea. Once in my room I put the mix tape on the stereo and Sarah pulled open my wardrobe doors.