When We Fall (5 page)

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Authors: Kendall Ryan

BOOK: When We Fall
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No. You can’t control everything all the time, Knox. Love is fucking scary. It’s an unstoppable wave that has the power to pull you under and drown you completely. You don’t always choose it, it develops, slowly at first or sometimes all at once. And other times it’s ripped from your life way too soon. Like with your mom. My parents. But that doesn’t mean we can give up. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. We all deserve it. And when we lose it, we deserve a second chance. And a third. Give it a chance.”

A slow smile uncurled on my lips.
“You just swore. That was your first curse word. We need to celebrate.” I grinned at her and she swatted my chest, giving it a playful smack. “I love you, McKenna. With every part of my heart. And you’re wrong, it doesn’t just scare me, it fucking terrifies me. The thought of losing you…” I shuddered involuntarily, knowing that was a very real possibility once I told her the truth. “I love everything about you—your giving nature, your outlook on life, the way you are with my brothers. Your heart’s too damn big and you’re way too good for someone like me, but as long as you want me, I’m never letting you go.”

Unshed tears shimmered in her eyes as she looked up at me.

My thumb swiped against her bottom lip as I cupped her face in my hands. “I love you, angel,” I repeated.

Blinking back tears, she drew a shuddering breath.
“I love you, too.”


I should have told you sooner. Did you see my note on the window that morning before you left?”

She nodded, confirming she had.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Her shoulder lifted in a shrug.
“I don’t know. For being a man with dominant tendencies, you sure know how to keep a girl in suspense. I guess I didn’t want to take the lead in that aspect of our relationship. It was important to me to hear you say it.”

I nodded. She was right.
Again. Christ, when was I going to learn? “So you like it when I take control?”

She licked her lips and nodded.

I chuckled low under my breath, unable to hold it in. This girl was perfect for me. “C’mere, angel.” I lifted her face to mine and kissed her deeply.

McKenna responded immediately, her arms winding around my back and her hands wandering under my shirt.

“Slow down,” I whispered against her ear. “There’s still more we should talk about.”


There is?” she asked, gazing up at me with a crease lining her forehead.

Shit
. I might have been tough in other aspects of my life, but I wasn’t brave enough for this shit. I couldn’t rip apart a relationship I was just building with her. “I like your hair. Is it different?” I said finally, running my fingers through the long, silky locks.

She laughed out loud, tipping her head back.
“I was waiting for you to notice.”


You’re always beautiful.”

She beamed up at me, her smile white and innocent.
“Remember how we talked about me taking better care of myself?”

I nodded.

“Well, today I went to the doctor and then went to the salon and splurged on getting my hair done.”


Good girl.” I pressed a kiss to her mouth. “Everything okay…with the doctor?”


Yeah. I, um, got put on birth control.”

This time I couldn
’t help the smile tugging on my mouth. My wide grin told her this knowledge made me very happy. Knowing I could be inside her without any barrier produced a caveman-like response in me. I’d always used condoms. Always. But McKenna was trusting me, giving herself to me fully. The thought was intoxicating.


That’s…” I choked on the words and this time McKenna was the one laughing at me.


You like that, don’t you?” she teased. “Good, because I got a shot in my butt today for you.”

Bringing both hands down to her backside, I rubbed her ass cheeks gently.
“My poor girl.” Nuzzling into her neck, I gave her a few slow, damp kisses as I moved closer to her mouth. “I’ll take good care of you tonight,” I murmured against her skin. It occurred to me she didn’t have any of her stuff here—nothing to sleep in, no toothbrush. It made me realize I needed to take better care of my girl, make sure she felt comfortable here.

She dropped her head to the side, giving me better access to her neck, her fingers still tracing little circles on my back, underneath my shirt.
“You said we needed to celebrate. What did you have in mind?”

My lips curled in a smile as I planted a kiss on the spot just beneath her ear.
“You sure you can handle it?”

She nodded eagerly.

My fingers found the hem of her shirt and I began to lift it over her head, my body all too ready to show her all the ways she was mine.


Wait.” Her hands stopped me. “You said there was more we needed to discuss.”

I faltered, swallowing a lump in my throat.
“Yeah. Ah, I wanted to tell you, you wanting to help Luke…if it’s what you want, that’s cool with me.”


Yeah?” she asked.


Yeah,” I confirmed. “You and him work out the details. I trust you.”


You’re being so good tonight.” She patted my chest. “Very cooperative.”

God, it had been too long since we
’d had a night like this, one where we could be playful and just enjoy each other. There had been too much shit swirling over both of us lately, and though I knew I should say more, something in me couldn’t. We deserved tonight. We deserved to just enjoy each other.


Now, where were we?” I pulled her close so our bodies were pressed tightly together and took her mouth in a hungry kiss, gripping the back of her neck to hold her close to me. McKenna moaned into my kiss, angling her mouth to mine. She was so responsive, so needy, and the dominant lurking inside me fucking loved it.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and McKenna let out a soft whimper as the buzzing device pressed against the front of her jeans.

I chuckled at her response. She liked that. Good to know. “One second, baby.” I released her and tugged the phone from my pocket. I was going to toss it on my dresser, get rid of the interruption, but Jaxon’s name flashed on the screen.

Shit. Nice timing, asshole.
“You better be dead or dying,” I bit out as I answered the call.

McKenna swatted at me again.
“Be nice,” she mouthed.


Close,” Jaxon croaked. “I’m at Regency Hospital. In the ER. Can you come get me?”


What the fuck? What happened?”


I got jumped. I’ll explain when you get here.”

Motherfucker
. “On my way.”


What’s wrong? What happened?” McKenna’s worried gaze met mine.


Jaxon’s in trouble again. Can you stay here with the boys?”

Her hand flew to her mouth and she nodded.

Adjusting my raging boner, I fled down the stairs.

When Jax
on and I arrived home, I didn’t care that he could hardly walk or see out of eyes nearly swollen shut—I made him march up the stairs to his room. I didn’t want him sleeping on the couch and the sorry sight of him to be the first thing Tucker saw when he woke up in the morning.


Get to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

Jax
on huffed. “If I don’t get them their money, there will be nothing to talk about. I’m telling you, man, this crew is ruthless.”

I fisted my hands at my sides, fighting the urge to punch the wall.
“We’ll figure it out.” I had no idea how, but of course the responsibility would fall on me.

Apparently we
’d made enough of a racket that we’d woken McKenna. She peeked inside the room, gazing in with wide eyes. “Oh God.” Her hand flew to her mouth. “Jax…” She crossed the room and pressed one hand to his cheek. He winced at the contact and she withdrew. “What happened?” A lone tear rolled down her face and I took a deep breath, fighting to calm myself down.


He was beaten within an inch of his life over a gambling debt. They dropped him off at the emergency room and promised this time was just a warning if he doesn’t pay back what he owes,” I answered for him.

McKenna
’s gaze left mine and searched Jaxon’s. He looked guilty. I knew he felt as terrible as he looked, which was the only thing helping me contain my rage.


Jax…why?” she asked.


I was trying to help.”

I cursed under my breath and pressed my fingers against my temples.

Jaxon hobbled closer, scowling as he met my gaze. He looked every bit as pissed off as I felt. “I’m not a kid, Knox. I know you’re struggling with the money for Luke’s college, and that shouldn’t be what ruins this for him. Or for you and McKenna. You’re a dick when you get stressed out and you make stupid fucking decisions. You’re happy, like actually happy for the first time in a long time, and Luke…Luke deserves to go to college. I was doing my part. You’re not the only one who can take care of this family.”


This was your way of taking care of things? Fuck. Next time, get a job. You know, something actually legal that’s not going to end up costing me money to bail your ass out.”


Don’t be mad at Jax,” McKenna chimed in. “He was trying to help. Even if it wasn’t in the right way, his intentions were in the right place.”


He’s fucking eighteen years old, McKenna. He’s an adult. He knows better.”

Jax
on collapsed onto his unmade bed, lying back and releasing a heavy sigh. “If I don’t pay them back…”


I know.” I clenched my jaw. I knew the group of guys he’d bet and lost against. A local street gang of thugs. Even if I didn’t like the idea of caving to their demands, I knew he was right. They wouldn’t stop until they had fucked us over, and this beating was the tip of the iceberg in terms of what they were capable of. I couldn’t have them going after Luke or Tuck. We needed to take care of this.


How much do you owe?” McKenna asked, her voice whisper soft.


Twenty-five thousand,” Jaxon said, not meeting my eyes.


Fuck, no, McKenna. This isn’t on you to fix.” This was not what I envisioned when I told her she could help Luke.

Luke entered the room and closed the door behind him.
“You guys need to lower your voices unless we want to turn this into a family meeting.” He grimaced when he saw Jaxon. “Shit, bro.”

Christ, the last thing we needed was Tucker getting up. Although if I was being honest, I knew Jax
on’s injuries would look worse tomorrow. His eyes were already nearly swollen shut and his lip was busted apart and huge. By morning the bruises would begin to turn purple. He clutched his ribs and toed off his shoes. McKenna knelt beside his bed to help him.


Everyone out. Jaxon needs his sleep.” Luke and I started for the door when McKenna’s hand flew up, stopping us.


Wait.” She swallowed and straightened her shoulders. “I have the money. I was going to give it to Luke for college…”

Luke
’s gaze flew to hers and a smile blossomed on his mouth.


But…” she continued. “It sounds like at the moment, making sure Jax doesn’t end up dead is more important.”

Luke
’s smile fell and he shot a murderous look at Jaxon. Jax closed his eyes, obviously unable to watch the disappointment looming in Luke’s expression.


We don’t have health insurance, so this little adventure at the hospital tonight is going to cost us, too,” Luke added.

Shit, he was right. As much as I hated the idea of McKenna bailing us out, I realized we had little choice. I might have been okay with her helping Luke out, giving him money toward his education, but I hated the idea of her throwing away her money toward Jaxon
’s criminal enterprises. I would pay her back every penny. And I would make sure Luke still got to go to college too. Somehow.

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