When We Fall (11 page)

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Authors: Kendall Ryan

BOOK: When We Fall
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Finally I met him outside with my new car keys and found him lingering beside his car.

“Hey,” he said.


Hey.”


Get it all squared away?”

I raised the keys in my hand and gave them a jingle.
“You’re looking at the proud new owner of a Volkswagen Jetta.” I grinned.


Good for you.” He returned my smile, but the worry line creasing his forehead was still present.


Brian, what’s…”


McKenna, listen…”

We both paused, laughing at the other.

“You go first,” I said. I braced myself for whatever it was that he was going to say. I was strong enough to handle it. Even if he tried to tell me that my parents wouldn’t have approved of Knox, I was certain that wasn’t true. They would be proud of any man who stepped up to raise his family and took good care of me, too.


Amanda’s living situation isn’t ideal. She has two roommates, plus her and the baby in a small apartment. She and AnnMarie share a room, and I was thinking…” Brian paused and earnest blue eyes met mine. “I know it’s sudden and not like me, but with you moving out, I’d like to ask Amanda to move in with me. We can set up your bedroom as a nursery for the baby. There’ll be more room for toys and all the gear that comes with a baby, and I really like Amanda. Like, I really,
really
like her. I want to make this work.”

His admission stunned me. I had no idea he liked Amanda so much. But honestly, I should have pieced it together. He
’d been at her apartment almost every day since I’d introduced them at the hospital, and he’d come home with a big dopey grin on his face each time. It crossed my mind that Brian might not know about her past with sex addiction, but I knew that was a conversation he and Amanda needed to have. It wasn’t my place.


I think that’s amazing news.” I pulled him in for a hug. “Have you asked her yet?”


No. Not yet. I’ve been thinking about asking her about getting our own place, but I didn’t want to just leave you behind. Now that I know you’re moving in with Knox…it just makes sense. It feels right, you know?”

Something told me Amanda would say yes. She
’d texted me a couple of times mentioning how sweet my roommate was. She was falling for him, too. “Go tell her. I’m going to head over to Knox’s place.”

Brian
nodded. “Okay. I think I’m gonna stop on the way and pick up a gift for AnnMarie. What do you get for a three-week-old baby?” he asked.


Diapers?”

He chuckled.
“You’re probably right.”

As he turned for his car, my hand on his forearm stopped him.
“Bri…thanks for everything.”

His eyes met mine.
“Anytime. You know I’m always here for you. I’m always going to be here, no matter where we live or who is in our lives.”

I nodded. I did. And it was a comforting feeling.
“Text me later and tell me what she says.”


Will do. Have fun with the boys.”

I hadn
’t told Brian about my fight with Knox, or his drunk-driving arrest. I merely nodded. But inside, my stomach was coiled tight. It was time to go face the music.

Chapter
Fourteen

McKenna

A few hours later, I showed up on Knox’s doorstep with a duffel bag slung over my shoulder, wondering what I’d find on the other side of the door. Could he have given up on me already and moved on? It was too painful to think about. I had to believe, with blind faith, that this would all work. I was out of options. Knox and I hadn’t spoken in a couple of days, not since I told him I needed my space. But now that I’d told Brian he could move Amanda and the baby into my old room, I was out of choices. This had to work.

Just like he did the first time I came to this house, Tucker answered the door.
“Kenna!” he shouted and flung himself into my arms. It immediately made me feel guilty about staying away for so long.


Hey, buddy.” I ruffled his hair and glanced around. Jaxon and Luke were in the living room, staring at a game of basketball on TV. Knox was nowhere to be seen, and dread churned deep inside me. “Where’s Knox?” I asked, my voice coming out shakier than I intended it to.

Throwing an arm around my waist, Tucker led me inside.
“He’s working right now, but can you stay over and hang out with me?” Big brown eyes blinked up at mine. He was impossible to say no to. Just like his big brother.


Of course I’ll stay.” I set my bag down in the living room and joined the boys on the couch.

Luke and Jax
on both nodded their hellos, not bothering to break eye contact with the TV until halftime. But I supposed if I was going to be living here, all of this was going to be my life. Boys, boys, and more boys. I nearly giggled at the thought.


Do you know when Knox gets off work?” I asked.

Luke
’s dark, expressive eyes met mine and I knew he was remembering the volunteer event where he’d practically forced Knox’s hand at telling me the truth. Luke had taken a risk, and I appreciated his honesty. His heart was in the right place. I hoped my small smile conveyed my thanks.


He’s closing up at the hardware store, it should be about another hour.”

I caught up with the boys
. Jaxon had cut out gambling, Luke was waiting to hear about the college applications he’d submitted, and Tucker was just Tucker. Loud, animated, and excitable like an eight-year-old boy should be. Thankfully, with Tucker to entertain me, the minutes passed by quickly.


Have you guys had dinner yet?”


Nope,” they chimed in unison.

Unable to sit and wait any longer, I ventured into the kitchen to see what I could make for dinner. The cabinets and fridge were pretty much bare, but I pieced together bread and cheese for grilled
cheese sandwiches and a couple of cans of soup. I hope Knox wasn’t expecting a gourmet chef with me moving in. But I somehow knew he wouldn’t be. The guys had been taking care of themselves for many years already. They wouldn’t expect me to fill the role of maid or cook; I could just be me. The thought made me smile. The soup bubbled away on the stove and I added the last of the sandwiches to a big platter, carrying the whole thing out to the dining table.


Boys, dinner!” I called.

I realized the extra commotion I heard from the living room meant Knox had arrived home. My stomach somersaulted and suddenly food was the last thing on my mind.

Knox entered the kitchen and his weary expression found mine. “McKenna?”


Hi.”


What are you…”


I made dinner.”

His gaze ventured to the table.
“I see that.”


Boys, come and eat up while it’s still hot. I’m just going to talk to Knox,” I instructed them. It was all the encouragement they needed. They descended on the food like a pack of hungry wolves.


Guys, save some for McKenna,” Knox said before shooting me an apologetic look.

We headed into the kitchen while the guys busied themselves with the food I
’d made in the dining room.


Sorry about them. You’d think they’ve never seen food before,” he joked.

I
smiled. “It’s okay.”


What’s going on, angel? I take you didn’t come here just to make dinner.”


No. I didn’t. I’m here because you were right. Your past was hard for me to accept, but it’s also the thing that led you straight to me, and I can’t help but think it was fate or maybe some divine intervention.”

His forehead creased and he took a step closer,
obviously trying to understand what I was telling him.

I took a deep breath and continued.
“The exact thing I was running from led me to Chicago and pushed you straight into my path. I’m not going to lie and say this isn’t hard for me. It’s the hardest test I’ve ever had to overcome. Harder than coping with life without my parents. Harder than leaving my hometown behind. But loving you isn’t a choice. And it’s worth it, Knox. You’re everything to me. You, your brothers, this home and family you’re offering me. I want it. I want all of it. I won’t allow my past to rob me of any more joy. You messed up, but you’ve changed. You’re not the same man who got behind that wheel. And I understand the life circumstances that drove you down that path. I know there will be bumps and bruises as we figure this out together. But I’m not going anywhere. You have me. You’ve had my heart right from the beginning.”

Without a word, Knox gathered me in his arms, tugging me to his chest and lifting my feet from the floor. I buried my nose in the crook between his neck and his shoulder and inhaled the scent I
’d missed so much. “God, it feels good to hold you, to have you back,” he said.


You have me. And I’m planning on staying if you still want me here.”

He pulled back to meet m
y eyes, still holding me so my feet didn’t reach the floor. “For good?”

I nodded, a big dopey grin overtaking my mouth.

“I don’t know how I could possibly deserve you, but I love you, McKenna.”


I love you,” I returned, “and your entire rowdy family.” We could hear the boys arguing over how to divide up the food in the other room.

He grinned down at me and kissed my forehead.
“Should we go tell the boys?”

I nodded.

Back inside the dining room, I saw that the entire plate of sandwiches was gone except for stray pieces of crust, and only about an inch of soup remained in the pot. I guess I’d underestimated the appetites of three growing boys. I’d have to remember that next time I made them dinner.


Guys, I have some news.” Knox’s hand found mine and he linked our fingers together, tugging me closer. “I asked McKenna to live with us and she said yes.”

Luke
’s face immediately broke into a wide grin and all three of them looked surprised, but happy. I wondered if they’d ask deeper questions, like what this meant for the relationship between Knox and me, or logistical ones, like how we would divvy up bathroom time and share household chores. But the room remained completely silent and still.

Until Tucker passed gas
.

L
oudly.

Okay, so apparently
they’re comfortable around me
.

Everyone broke into fits of laughter,
me included.


I think you should consider yourself christened. Welcome to the family,” Jaxon said.


Rule numero uno, no farting at the dinner table, dude.” Luke frowned at Tucker, who in turn stuck out his tongue.


On that note, should we go upstairs?” Knox asked.

I nodded, not wanting to stick around and experience the smell that had already caused Jaxon and Luke to run for cover while Tucker laughed hysterically.

“I will feed you, but first I just need to be alone with you,” Knox whispered near my ear as we started up the stairs.

I wondered what he had in mind for this alone time.

“What do you want for dinner?” he asked, once we were all alone in his bedroom. Our bedroom. I wondered if
cock
would be the wrong answer. My recovering sex-addict boyfriend was turning me into a raging sex addict. And I liked it.


I’m not really hungry for food just yet.” I met his deep brown gaze and bit my lower lip. I had no idea if my sexy stare was appealing, but the low growl that rumbled in his chest and the way he stalked toward me caused my stomach to coil into a tight knot. I wanted him. I wanted everything—our future—all the pleasure he could give me, and I couldn’t wait another second.

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